Snapshots #427: Songs About Christmas Presents

For our seasonal edition, we asked some of our favourite pop stars (and Bono - well, it is the season of good will) what they wanted for Christmas. Here are their replies... might give you some ideas for last minute Christmas shopping!

25. Found disrupted in one ugly... bloke.

"In one ugly" was an anagram.

Neil wants a Transformer, man.

Neil Young – Transformer Man

24. Sounds like we’re both in the same boat.

You too?

Bono wants a kite. Hope it doesn't get caught in any pylons.

U2 - Kite

23. The heavenly nouveau riche.

I did have to google synonyms for Upstarts.

Angelic Upstarts – Action Man

22. The Royal Airforce, For Instance.

RAF, FI.

Raffi – Old Toy Trains

21. Sassenachs.

Bad English – Rockin’ Horse

20. Robins in an American garden.

The Yardbirds – Puzzles

19. Leave Nelson unplanted.

Admiral Fallow - Subbuteo

18. Fusion combo.

The Mixtures - The Pushbike Song

17. Wings that sting.

Macca-bees.

The Maccabees – Lego

16. Your plans to buy a Prince album are cancelled due to bad weather.

It's going to rain on your copy of Parade.

The Rain Parade - Kaleidoscope

15. Watch out - these fellas scam you!

"Fellas scam" was an anagram. There's an uncredited PP Arnold on this song too...

Small Faces - Tin Soldier

14. You’ll find them in the next church you visit.

In the next church you visit.

XTC – Spinning Top

13. Tutankhamun stuck on a Swiss mountain.

The Mönch is a mountain in Switzerland.

Pharoahe Monch - Simon Says

12. Home to the Basement Tapes.

Bob Dylan & The Band recorded The Basement Tapes in The Big Pink.

The Big Pink - Dominos

11. Favoured by Constable, Monet and O’Keeffe.

They all liked to paint landscapes.

Landscape – Doll’s House

10. Sounds like the connection between a misty streaker and a spooky train robber.

Ray Stevens sang Misty. Ray Parker Jr. sang about a Ghost Buster. The link sounds like Ray.

Link Wray – Slinky!

9. Ensemble brought in by Coldplay and Pilot Olivia to perform their songs.

Coldplay sang Yellow. Olivia and Pilot both sang Magic.

Yellow Magic Orchestra – Computer Game

8. What an Amazonian… or, um, his offspring… might spend their money on.

Jeff (Bezos)... and, er... son... likes a nice starship.

Jefferson Starship – Skateboard

7. Moonlight Maddie meets a Kung Fu Fighter.

In Moonlighting, Cybil Shepherd played Maddie Hates. Carl Douglas was a kung fu fighter.

Hayes Carll - (KMAG) YOYO

6. Scared by the fireplace bogeyman? Find solace within.

Fireplace bogeyman.

Placebo – Plasticine

5. Plug in hedge trimmer.

The Electric Prunes – Wind-Up Toys

4. Phoney rappers are non-returnable protagonists.

The Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy – Water Pistol Man

3. Caveman, Haddock, Kirk… they’re an unhappy bunch!

My Sad Captains - Building Blocks
 

2. Theme park owner.

Dollywood!

Dolly Parton – Backwoods Barbie

Presumably you need a Redneck Ken to go with that.

1. Skinks on a plane.

What we all really want for Christmas!

1. The Flying Lizards - Money 

Hopefully that will give you all some ideas for last minute gifts.

Have a good one.

More of this nonsense after Boxing Day.

Hot 100 Countdown #77

Caught a bit of Cerys Matthews on 6music on Sunday morning and in the studio she had the above band, 77:78, the new side-project from a couple of members of The Bees. What you'd expect from those guys, definitely worth a listen.

All of which brings us to Number 77 on the Hot 100 Countdown, and my desperate attempt to avoid songs about the year 1977... if at all possible. Always open to year-based suggestions though, and Charity Chic kicked off last week with a belter...

The Clash - 1977

(Personal bugbear: if you're going to write a song with the word seven in the title, you should henceforth be forbidden from rhyming it with the word heaven. Hard not to though, I guess.)

CC also gave worthy honourable mentions to a couple of great albums - 77 by The Talking Heads and 1977 by Ash.

Next up was The Swede, who offered a raft of great suggestions that sadly don't yet live in my record collection, starting with...

Merger - 77

Followed by...

Men From The North Country - 77

Both worthy of further investigation, in my humble opinion.

The Swede (and Rigid Digit) also suggested a lyrical 77... one that actually was in contention for a while...

T-Rex - Celebrate Summer

...although it does commit the above-mentioned rhyme crime... then again, that's the least of Marc Bolan's crimes against rhymes, something I've discussed here before and given him a pass over. This is a great track though, and sadly, as both TS & RD point out, it was the last T-Rex single released in Bolan's lifetime.

The Swede also offered this...

Culture - Two Sevens Clash

...which I'm afraid falls into the same category as one of Rigid Digit's offerings...

Love - 7 & 7 Is...

Good tunes both, but neither make 77 in my book. (Maybe I'll allow the Love one when we get to 14?)

In that vein, at least John Medd's maths adds up...

Wreckless Eric - 33s and 45s

...I wish I'd thought of that one, John.

Rigit Digit's final suggestion was this...

Total Chaos - Riot 77

...which sounds exactly like you'd expect it to, even though it was released in 1996.

Martin jumped in next with these, which he categorises as "a bit anodyne" and "slightly less anodyne" respectively......

The Big Pink - 77

Nada Surf - Blizzard of 77

I didn't mind either of those, actually, Martin... but then, I'm well known for my anodyne tastes.

Martin also stretched the rules to breaking point by offering...

Blur - Jubilee

...which is about someone who was born in the queen's silver jubilee year. There was a time this would have been in serious contention, but I'm going through a phase where I can't listen to any of Damon's Cockney Geezer songs without grinding my teeth to the gums. I'm sure I'll get over it.

Alyson win's this week's booby prize though with her suggestion...

Kurtis Mantronik Presents Chamonix - 77 Strings

"I know how much you love dance music," she says, tongue firmly in cheek, "so you're bound to have this!"

No, and no. But you knew that anyway, Alyson.

Meanwhile, Lynchie tried his hand with this...

Bad Brains - Secret '77 (I Against i)

...which didn't sound anything like I expected... which means it wasn't bad at all.

Apart from this week's almost-winner, the only other 77 song I had in my collection was this...

Prince - 77 Beverly Park

...but it's not so much a song as just Prince mucking about in the studio for 3 minutes. Admittedly, that's more interesting than a lot of people mucking about in the studio for 3 minutes, but still not winner-worthy.

All of which leads us to this week's almost-winner, which was suggested by Jim Dubai (not quite sure if you're from Dubai or just Dubai Jim: enquiring minds need to know, Jim!)…

Looper - Mondo '77

This was my first choice this week, mainly because I try to automatically rule out year songs by not searching for anything with a 19-- in front of the number. However, on reflection, this is almost certainly a year song because it has that apostrophe in front of the sevens. Which means that I had to consider whether or not - much as I like it - I really thought it was a better song than The Clash. OK, it doesn't rhyme seven with heaven, but... but...

No, if I'm going to break the year rules this week, I'm gonna have to give it to (as CC puts it) "the only band that matters"... I mean, come on, it's only one minute thirty eight seconds long, but it does everything it has to in that time, and more.


76 next week, folks. The one you've all been waiting for. Except...

No trombones allowed!

There may be another year song in contention though... unless someone can persuade me of a better idea.