Snapshots #389: The Snapshots Dessert Trolley

I'm on a diet at the moment, so putting this edition of Snapshot together was an exercise in self-flagellation. For the rest of you - feel free to indulge your sweet teeth below..

15. Non-White Raconteur.

The Raconteurs were a band featuring Jack White and...

Brendan Benson - Strawberry Rhubarb Pie

14. One bed flat for family of ten.

Crowded House - Chocolate Cake

13. Too busy singing.

I'm sure most of you easily spotted the Monkee-Mobile... but did you recall this awful school dinner substitute for rice pudding?

The Monkees - Tapioca Tundra

12. He was always wrong in French.

Mal - Mighty Mighty Roly Poly

Mal Ryder (aka Paul Bradley Couling from Wales) didn't make much of a mark on the UK music scene in the 70s... but he was very big in Italy. I include him here today because I do like a good Roly Poly.

11. Stork joins hawk to create a weird hybrid.

"Stork joins hawk" was an anagram...

Horst Jankowich - A Walk In The Black Forest

Black Forest Gateaux is evil. But if you dined out in the 70s or 80s, it was seen as the height of sophistication. 

10. The UK's chartered professional body for mathematicians puts on a bit of weight  in their luxury abode.

"The UK's chartered professional body for mathematicians", as I'm sure George will know, are the IMA. So Fat + IMA in a Mansion...

Fatima Mansions - Angel's Delight

Another staple dessert from my childhood, but far preferable to Black Forest Gateaux. Especially Butterscotch flavour. 

9. C disappears fast.

In the word Quick, if you make the C disappear, you are left with...

The Quik - Bert's Apple Crumble

8. Zeus gave nan a mixed message.

"Zeus gave nan" is an anagram...

Suzanne Vega - Caramel

7. Hedgehog children.

Sonic The Hedgehog, of course...

Sonic Youth - Créme Brûlèe

6. Goat, flippin'... the end of Christine.

Billy Goat + Flipping 'Eck + Stine...

Billy Eckstine - Jelly Jelly

5. Small horses, still kids, you've never seen them before... but they're joining up together! 

Bit of a laborious clue, I admit...

New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream

4. Lights on a flying machine. 

That'll be the LEDs on the Zeppelin...

Led Zeppelin - Custard Pie

3. Fake lists contain everything you need to know.

FaKE LISts...

Kelis - Milkshake

2. I have a legal document stating that I can write this clue.

Warrant - Cherry Pie

1. Proof Stu was a very confused man.

"Proof Stu" was an anagram...

Four Tops - I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)

More tasty treats for you next Saturday morning... 

Snapshots #237: A Top Ten Weather Songs

To keep all you football fans happy, I asked the owner of National League club Wrexham to introduce this week's answers. Mainly because I couldn't find any pictures of weather men or weather ladies holding cameras. No, not even John Kettley. 

10. Found in a citrus trifle.

Lemon Jelly - Nice Weather For Ducks

9. Twice as much bother for a Wonder, a sunbeam and a Williams.

Stevie Wonder, a Ray of sunshine and Vaughan Williams... lead to Double Trouble.

Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble - Couldn't Stand The Weather

8. Samantha.

Samantha was the witch in Bewitched. Of course.

B*witched - Blame It On The Weatherman

7. Scully catches Christian.

Gillian 'Scully' Anderson played a police detective tracking down Jamie 'Christian from Fifty Shades' Dornan in a TV series called The Fall.

The Fall - British People In Hot Weather

6. Conceited peacocks.

The Popinjays - Thinking About The Weather

5. Furcula & Wheeler's band.

A Furcula is a wishbone. Tim Wheeler's band is Ash.

Wishbone Ash - Bad Weather Blues 

4. Talk in tuts.

Anagram!

KT Tunstall - Under The Weather

3. Rowan & Vangelis.

Rowan & Martin, Jon & Vangelis.

John Martyn - Bless The Weather

2. Home for deceased Corvidae.

Crow-dead house?

Crowded House - Weather With You

1. Piper's vacation.

Billie Piper goes on Holiday.

My favourite version of this song...

Yes, in case you were wondering, that is Ryan 'Deadpool' Reynolds at the top of the page, and yes, he and one of his Hollywood mates did buy Wrexham. Who are doing very well this year, by all accounts. See how my football knowledge increases every day?

More Snapshots next week. Weather permitting...

Saturday Snapshots #114 - The Answers

Good morning. Hope you're all having a Jolie Sunday, and not a Maleficent one. Hopefully you didn't have to raid any tombs to come up with the answers to yesterday's quiz...


10. Aquatic mammal triumphs at spelling club.

How do you spell club? D-I-S-C-O.

The otter won!

Ottawan - D.I.S.C.O.

Sam's favourite at the moment. I've got him listening to it to stop him singing this.

9. Refusal to fantasise over Roy Orbison tune makes home a squash and a squeeze.

A Squash & A Squeeze is a kid's book by the author of The Gruffalo, Julia Donaldson. Probably the best kids' writer around these days. Anyway, it's about a house that gets very crowded.

It's Over was the Roy Orbison song.

Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over

8. Dirty... always looks like a conjuror, s'embrasser.

Photo taken before she became a blonde.

Dirty Harry.

Deborah always dressed like a conjurer.

According to google translate, kissing in French is s'embrasser.

Deborah Harry - French Kissing (In The USA)

7. Yorkshire member, sounds like penny-pinching toilet.

Yorkshire Dales? Member... is... er...

A penny-pinching toilet would be a miser loo.

Dick Dale - Misirlou

You know what they call a Quarter-Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

6. What happens when you smell an onion? Not where Iggy Pop sits.

Iggy Pop was The Passenger. Hence, he didn't sit in the driver's seat.

Sniff 'n' The Tears - Driver's Seat

5. Come on, Pennywise & Pagliacci...  Punch Phil!

Punch & Judy + Phil Collins.

Judy Collins - Send In The Clowns

4. Bono gladdens spouse - your round!

"Bono gladdens spouse" was obviously an anagram. I mean, how could Bono gladden anybody?

Splodgenessabounds - Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps, Please

3. Sindy & Barbie babytalk with demented singer.

Iris DeMent was the singer.

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

2. A cubic centimetre inside Mum denies empty evenings.

Ma, with a cc in the middle = Macca.

Paul McCartney - No More Lonely Nights

1. Post-war Price Super-hero meets Nixon Twins.

1952 was post-war.

Vincent Price.

Richard Nixon.

Thompson Twins.



Wanted: more Saturday Snapshots. Next week.

Hot 100 #57

Roger Daltrey illustrates this week's entry in our countdown - 57 Varieties, from The Who Sell Out.

There was an obvious answer this week, and a less obvious answer: both came from the same artist... who most of you will be aware is a favourite of mine. Which song did I choose? Wait and see. In the meantime, a few alternatives from you guys...

The Swede suggested Banging on the Door by PiL, for another Heinz-related reference...

This lot are not happy heroes, just better actors,
A hundred and one dilations, and fifty seven varieties,

Outside with the empties, keep banging the door...

He also offered Waltz 57 by minimal electronic duo Swod, from their 2004 album 'Gehen'. And of course, you lost me at "minimal electronic duo".

Lynchie popped up next with the following...

1957 by Milo Greene is quite pleasant.

Yes, it is.

Biffy Clyro - 57 on the other hand is a mess.

Yes, it is. They might as well have worn "We wanna be Nirvana!"

Lynchie adds...

I always thought he was called Biffy Giro, until I saw him on BBC Scotland's Hogmanay show.

Biffy Giro would be a better band name.

Lynchie's final suggestion would have been a serious contender most other weeks...

Come In From The Cold by Joni Mitchell opens with the words:

Back in 1957
We had to dance a foot apart
And they hawk-eyed us from the sidelines
Holding their rulers without a heart...

...words which any prepubescent boy or girl born before 1963 can identify with.

Indeed. Scary times... why do I find myself longing for that innocence again?

C turned up next, to offer something she confessed "wasn't the sort of song I'd normally nominate but it must surely be a contender..."

Crowded House - Weather With You

Walking 'round the room singing
Stormy Weather
At 57 Mt. Pleasant Street

Can't argue with that. 

Finally, Martin did his usual crack investigative job and came up with a couple of belters...

I Can See Elvis by The Waterboys has the lyric:

I can see Elvis, skinny like he was back in '57.

...and Firecracker by Sleeper, which has:

57 kids, and all of them ugly...

So, then: the winner. Most of you seemed to think I'd choose 57 Channels (And Nothing On) which is certainly a fine tune, even though it comes from Bruce's fallow period in the 90s.

For me though, this is even better. From his second album (his first with the E Street Band), this 8 minute epic points the way to Born To Run both in its length and its storytelling. It also contains what is for me one of the best lines Bruce ever wrote - or at least, one of those lines that pops into my head all the time and has done throughout my life...

"Johnny, it falls apart so easy and you know hearts these days are cheap"

There are certain lyrics that do that in my head. They've almost become part of my internal idiolect. (Other lines from Bruce that do the same thing are "if you can take a man's life for the thoughts that are in his head" from Johnny 99 and the lines at the top of the page from No Surrender. Plus most of Born To Run & Thunder Road.)

Anyway, with apologies to 90s Bruce... 70s Bruce will always win in my book...

Next week... 56? I can sense a Nobel Prize winning suggestion, but beyond that it's a pretty open playing field...