Saturday Snapshots #172 - Top Ten Hurt Songs

 

"Will there be pics of cuddly lickle kitty-kats next Saturday?" Lynchie asked last week.

Not on Saturday, no.

The link this week was pretty easy, I thought. No apologies for featuring REM two weeks running... those are the rules now.

A TOP TEN HURT SONGS

10. Smiley society.

Smiley Culture's Club?

Culture Club - Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?

Boy George let himself go a few years back, but he's looking pretty sharp now. 

9. Short record player found in awards ceremony bathroom.

Gramophone, shortened, in the loo at the Emmys.

Gram Parson & Emmylou Harris - Love Hurts

8. Freezing factory.

Icicle Works - Melanie Still Hurts

7. Empty method, end in a bra. 

A method is a way. If it's empty, it's hollow.

Put end in bra and you get Br-end-a.

Brenda Holloway - Every Little Bit Hurts

Or...

Brenda Holloway - Hurt A Little Every Day

Or...

Brenda Holloway - Starting The Hurt All Over Again

Blimey. Brenda had a lot of hurt.

6. Light sleep, vivid dreams.

That would be REM sleep.

REM - Everybody Hurts

5. Smelly Spider-Man.

"Skunk Anansie" is taken from Akan folk tales of Anansi the spider-man of Ghana, with "Skunk" added to "make the name nastier". Or smellier.

Skunk Anansie - Twisted (Everyday Hurts)

4. Grounded since 2003.

The Concorde was grounded in 2003.

I'm crying tears of a rapper...

Flight of the Conchords - Hurt Feelings

3. Anchorman college jump.

Anagram!

John Cougar Mellencamp - Hurts So Good

(Makes those Robert Palmer videos everybody complained about look tame.)

2. Distant Arnold.

Another anagram!

Linda Ronstadt - Hurts So Bad

1. Paycheck not accepted for lengthy manicure.

If Johnny won't use a paycheck for his Nine Inch Nail, I guess he'll have to pay Cash.

Don't hurt too much - Saturday Snapshots will be back to soothe your pain next week... maybe with added cuddly lickle kitty-kats, who can say?

The Top Ten Songs I Hated When I Was A Kid #4

4. Culture Club - Karma Chameleon

When I started this series, I knew I'd have to write about this song... and I knew it would involve confessing to something I'm now pretty ashamed of.

I was a homophobic child.

There's no getting away from this fact. Like many of my age in the 80s, I viewed gay people with suspicion and said some pretty horrible things about them, through blind ignorance. It was only when I started working in radio (at 16) that I ended up meeting a lot of gay people, some of whom would become close, long term friends (three of the best friends I've had over the last 30 years, in fact) that my eyes were opened and my prejudice washed away.

But before that, there was Boy George.

I was 11 when Karma Chameleon hit the top of the charts and I hated it. Because there was George, a Boy dressed like a girl, and I really didn't like it. I can't take full responsibility for that: it was the attitude of the times, and only through the outspoken work of openly gay pop stars like George and Jimmy Sommerville did people's attitudes finally start to change. It would be a good few years before George Michael or Freddie Mercury (both of whom I adored back then) officially came out. And it took Barry Manilow till LAST WEEK to finally admit it. I realise now the horrible irony of hating a song which is essentially about accepting people without prejudice... because I was prejudiced myself. But at 11, it's hard to see the forest for the trees,

Having just listened to Karma Chameleon all the way through for the first time in ages, maybe the song has finally grown on me, as well as the message. Love that harmonica...

My Top Ten Gymnastic Songs

10. Jill Sobule - Lucy At The Gym

OK, so strictly speaking, Lucy doesn't actually appear to be doing gymnastics at the
gym. But look at her ribs - they show through the spandex. And she's working so hard... to conquer her loneliness. Give her a break, will you?

9. Culture Club - I'll Tumble 4 Ya

Culture Club are one of those bands I hated at the time, yet I've grown to nostalgically respect over the years.

8. Dobie Gray - Out On The Floor

Classic Northern Soul belter.

7. The Divine Comedy - Can You Stand Upon One Leg?

(It's harder than you think.)

6. Depeche Mode - Get The Balance Right

You think you've got a hold of it all
You haven't got a hold at all
When you reach the top, get ready to drop
Prepare yourself for the fall, you're gonna fall

Nothing like a positive mental attitude.

5. David Bowie - Boys Keep Swinging

Worth watching the video to the end if you're a Kenny Everett fan.

4. Rocket From The Crypt - On A Rope

The video features puppies and goats. Not quite as rock 'n' roll as the song suggests.

3. Maximo Park - Acrobat

One of my favourites from this mob, perhaps because it reminds me of Belong by R.E.M.

I am not an acrobat,
I cannot perform these tricks for you,
Losing all my balance,
Falling from a wire made for you

2. Chairlift - Bruises

I tried to do handstands for you
But every time I fell on you

1. The Beatles - Twist & Shout

This is the first time I've ever given a Beatles song the Number One position, but while this may not be a Lennon & McCartney original, theirs is still the definitive version. I blame Ferris Bueller...



Those were my gymnastic classics... which one gets a 10.0 from you judges?