Title Fight #11: Boredom Special!

As a follow-up to yesterday's post about the power of boredom, here are some song titles in similar vein. As we've got Barbra Streisand socking it to Ryan O'Neal above, in the 1979 movie The Main Event, I thought we'd let Babs kick off proceedings today...

Barbra Streisand - Love Is A Bore

That one was written by the songwriting team of Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen who also wrote a bunch of classic Frank Sinatra hits including High Hopes, Come Fly With Me and the majestic All The Way. Nothing boring about those guys.

Still, at least Babs only finds love boring. These guys are bored with pretty much everything...

The Real People - Life Is A Bore

Liverpool's The Real People were great mates with Oasis, but didn't share their success. No wonder they found life such a bore. Not to mention...

Morrissey - We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful

Still, there's no need to be rude, is there, Murray?

Murray Head & The Blue Monks - You Bore Me

Charming. Clearly a night in Bangkok is needed to get him excited. I'm sure he'll get his kicks above the waistline there.

OK, enough with the gentle warm-up... let's get onto some proper song titles!

The Front Bottoms - The Boredom Is the Reason I Started Swimming, Its Also the Reason I Started Sinking

I always admire a title that spills over onto the next line. The Front Bottoms are from New Jersey. Iffypedia explains their name, in case you can't work it out for yourself. They also quote singer Brian Sella: "This is our name. If you don't like it then you don't like it."

Next we have Jason Lytle, with a song he presumably wrote about The Supreme Leader of North Korea...

Grandaddy - Kim, You Bore Me To Death

No wonder he's so lonely.

Why are these musicians all so bored, you may well ask. Perhaps it's something to do with how they spent their spare time...

Jan & Dean - The Anaheim, Azusa And Cucamonga Sewing Circle, Book Review And Timing Association

(Bit of a step down from Surf City, that one. There's still two girls for every guy, but they're all over 85.) 

Perhaps all these bored pop stars spend far too much time chronicling their life stories for a handful of sympathetic followers...

Momus - A Complete History of Sexual Jealousy (Parts 17-24)

Or maybe they've been a long time at sea, like Neil Finn...

Split Enz - Six Months In A Leaky Boat

Blimey. What a bunch of bores. Still, as the aforementioned Manchester miserablist turned dubiously-opinionated bore once had it...

What really lies
Beyond the constraints of my mind?
Could it be the sea
With fate mooning back at me?
No, it's just more lock-jawed pop-stars
Thicker than pig-shit
Nothing to convey
They're so scared to show intelligence
It might smear their lovely career

Snapshots #285: A Top Ten Geometry Songs

This week's Snapshots was specially for all the Maths teachers reading this... well, George.

10. Did you mix up the bait, mum?

"Bait, mum" was an anagram.

Geometric Term = Point

Matumbi - Point Of View

9. Oh what a night these guys had.

Oh What A Night was in December, 1963.

Geometric Term = Angles

The Decemberists - Of Angels & Angles

8. A bar... with a extra R.

A Mars Bar... with an extra R.

Geometric Term = Volume

M/A/R/R/S - Pump Up The Volume

7. He's Sly and... the US KLF, almost.

Sly & Robbie meets an angram.

Geometric Term = Parallel

Robbie Fulks - Parallel Bars

6. Jupiter, Mars, Vulcan, Krypton. 

They're all planets.

Geometric Term = Lines

The Planets - Lines

5. I wager she'll be somewhere near the centre.

I bet she's in the middle.

Geometric Term = Distance

Bette Midler - From A Distance

4. When a Hammer met a Rebel.

Jan Hammer meets James 'Rebel Without A Cause' Dean.

Geometric Term = Curve

Jan & Dean - Dead Man's Curve

3. Enough to make your but shake.

"But shake" was an anagram.

Geometric term = pi

Kate Bush - π

2. From chairman to binman.

The Chairman of the Board was Frank Sinatra. A bin man empties trashcans.

Geometric Term = Circumference

The Trashcan Sinatras - Circling The Circumference

1. Afterwards, we're off to watch Joshua fight.

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho. 

Geometric Term = Area

1. Then Jericho - Big Area

There'll be more Snapshots for you to work out next Saturday...

Saturday Snapshots #127 - The Answers

Still 'ere?

(Get it? Still... Oh, please yourself.)

Here are this week's answers...


10. Carla Thomas = The Mighty Wah.

Carla Thomas sang Baby. The Mighty Wah! sang Come Back.

What's that inbetween?

The Equals - Baby Come Back

9. Ditto, like one member of an Ohio band.

Ditto... because the song title is the same.

The Ohio Band was The Ohio Players.

Player - Baby Come Back

8. Young Jack Kerouac expresses surprise at Go-Betweens album.

Gosh! The Go-Betweens album was Talulah.

Jack Kerouac was a beatnik.

Talulah Gosh - Beatnik Boy

7. Laugh and wake because it's no longer day.

Josh (laugh) and Rouse (wake).

Josh Rouse - It's The Nighttime

6. Pretty dixie single-hander.

Dixieland is The South.

A single-handler is a boat you sail on your own.

The Beautiful South - I'll Sail This Ship Alone

I don't care what you think of The Beautiful South - that is a beautiful tune.

5. At the start of the year, Pearl got a new partner in a swell town.

January is at the start of the year.

Pearl's original partner was Dean.

Swell is surf.

Jan & Dean - Surf City

4. Plane ticket, date unspecified, and cry forward.

"And cry forward" was an anagram.

Randy Crawford - One Day I'll Fly Away

3. Lodestone influences patriarchal bronco contest.

A Lodestone influences Magnetic Fields.

Patriarchal = Papa. Bronco = Rodeo.

The Magnetic Fields - Papa Was A Rodeo

2. Replacement, comes on knocking.

A replacement is a substitute.

Knock knock. Who's there?

The Who - Substitute

I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth.

1. Forever tomorrow, minor 5th.

Morris Minor + E (the 5th letter).

How I dearly wish I was not here...



There's Something About More Saturday Snapshots... next week.