Now Winnemucca is clearly the best place name beginning with W. Sadly, I couldn't find any songs about it... but Richmond Fontaine did name a whole after after it.
Quite a few songwriters choose Brian as a metaphor for the fine line between genius and madness. Take this one from Brendon Urie...
She said, "You're just like Mike Love But you wanna be Brian Wilson, Brian Wilson" Said, "You're just like Mike Love But you'll never be Dennis Wilson" And I said (Hey! Hey!) If crazy equals genius (Hey! Hey!) If crazy equals genius Then I'm a fucking arsonist (Hey!) I'm a rocket scientist (Hey! Hey!)
I used to think there was an answer In the music of my youth But I just read Brian Wilson's biography And now I know the truth Because his father never loved him And the band just wanted the money And Dennis was an alcoholic Who drowned looking for treasure And everyone who was around him Just gave him drugs and took his money He was dependent on social acceptance Just like every other human
Damn it - I missed that conference. If I'd known about it before, I'd have been there like a shot.
Cryptozoology is the study of animals that are legendary, extinct, or unknown, and whose existence is disputed or unsubstantiated. Not that anyone in their right mind would dispute Bigfoot or Nessie... but there are some crazy folk out there.
That's Huey Morgan's favourite Queen song. He used to do a Radio 2 show in the middle of the night between Friday and Saturday that I always used to listen to (one of the last Radio 2 shows I bothered with) and he'd play that every other week.
And next, we have a best straight out of the old testament, And next, we have a best straight out of the Old Testament, whose "bones are tubes of bronze, his limbs like bars of iron”...
Welcome back to another random selection of outstanding song titles, introduced this week by Toyah Wilcox and her long-suffering hubby, Robert Fripp, with their mad version of this old boxing song...
None of Toyah's song titles really leapt out at me as deserving inclusion in the Title Fight, but her debut album (or her band's debut album, since Toyah was the name of the band too) was called Sheep Farming In Barnet, which would definitely get a nomination. I've not scoured the entire borough, but I'm pretty sure there aren't any sheep farms in Barnet. And I doubt there were any in 1979 either. Maybe it was a riddle...
That's the cover of Toyah's debut single above. It featured a photograph of one of the mummies of Guanajuato in Mexico holding a sign saying "Is there a heaven? Is there a hell? Do both exist? Who can tell?" This was apparently enough to cause some controversy in 1979. I'd like to say that people were more easily upset back then, but clearly that would be bullshit. They were just upset by different things.
In a tenuous DJ link, I could point out that Toyah's fourth album, 1982's The Changeling, was seen as a move into Goth territory. Which gives me an excuse to play this...
There’s a general election on a WhatsApp group The Tabloids are lined with unreliable scoops You’ve got to go the gym, start giving a damn Stop posting quotes on Instagram Just put your feet up, it’s time to relax Completely abolish council tax The Tory party are one hell of a Farce You can stick your Brexit right up your arse
(Blogger is currently not allowing me to add coloured type. It's very distressing not to quote lyrics in blue as I normally do.)
The Crapsons are from Birkenhead. They claim that the late Dean Sullivan (Jimmy Corkhill from Brookside) "fell in a bush drunk whilst walking his dog when we were loading the car back up at the end of the (video) shoot."
But wait, you're distracting me with all these headless chickens. Let's get back to Bobby Rush, a man who definitely knew his way around a song title...
For my money though, his greatest moment comes in the tune below, a song about a bloke who's always threatening to leave his wife, until one day she's had enough and tells him to get off. It contains one of the greatest lines ever written in the field of popular music. Well, it makes me laugh...
She said, "If you gon' leave me, leave me quick 'Cause you ain't the only lumberjack that carries a big stick"
Given the current length of Tuesday's posts, I decided to try giving you all a breather on a Wednesday. Hence this new feature in which I try to write as little as possible to introduce a tune. (I've already gone way over my target word count, but this is the pre-amble. It doesn't count.)
My old friend Sally got in touch the other week and recommended Scott Fagan. She thought I may already be familiar with him, but I wasn't. This record is a bit of a lost classic apparently, "a mystical, mythical and deeply soulful masterpiece" from a songwriter who was discovered and mentored by the great songwriting duo of Doc Pomus and Mort Shuman. Tipped to be bigger than Elvis, but faded away into obscurity almost immediately. Years later he was revealed to be the surprise biological father of Stephin Merritt of the Magnetic Fields.
There's a lot more to that story, but I was supposed to be keeping it brief...
I've banged on about my love of Stephin Merritt and the Magnetic Fields plenty of times over the years, so I figured I'd let someone else persuade you to give his latest record a listen.
Here's Bruce Springsteen, a quote taken directly from his radio show...
"Stephin is one of our best American composers and songwriters, and if you haven’t gotten into his music, you owe it to yourself to check it out."
'Nuff said.
And here's a song we could all sing along to in 2020...
I was delighted to discover that The Magnetic Fields have a new album out, packed with loads of short songs that are packed with pith, wit and things that'll make you nod your head and go "mmm".
Case in point, the track featured below: The Day The Politicians Died.
Something a little bit different this week - the battle of the song titles! One song says it is, the other song says it's NOT. Which will win? Well, I'll name my winners... feel free to disagree!
The band SR-71 (named after a Lockheed fighter plane) have actually featured on this blog before as they recorded the original version of my favourite Bowling For Soup Song, 1985. They also had a couple other minor hits, most notably Right Now. Worth a listen if you like the early noughties American guitar band sound of Blink-182 et al.
Songwise, the number 71 proved much trickier for you guys. In fact, this is the closest this feature has yet got to...
Alyson tried her best with '71 I Think I'll Make A New World by the Magnetic Fields, from one of my favourite albums of last year, but as I may have mentioned when I began this feature many, many weeks ago, I'd ruled that album out; otherwise I could have featured one of its songs every week so far. Each track on the album is about one year in Stephin Merritt's life, so I could have chosen this glorious gem for '78 or this belter for '77 or this euphoric classic for '76... well, you get the picture. Time will sadly run out for this as an option come '66 Wonder Where I'm From, the opening track on 50 Song Memoir. Until then, you're welcome to suggest them even though technically they're disqualified.
The only other suggestion this week came from Rigid Digit - and yes, it was another one that could have satisfied multiple entries on this countdown: Saturday Gigs by Mott The Hoople...
In Seventy-one all the people come
Bust a few seats but it's just in fun
Take the Mick out of Top of the Pops
We play better than they do
That one's only got a couple more weeks to run too.
What else did I find lurking in my record collection for Number Seventy-One then?
The final track on the album Black Cadillac by Roseanne Cash is called 0:71. The record was written while Cash was dealing with the recent loss of her mother (Johnny's first wife, Vivian Liberto Cash Distin), stepmother (June) and father, but 0:71 isn't actually a song... it's 71 seconds of silence. One second for every year of Johnny's life. A cool tribute, but hardly a "song" I can choose to represent 71 in the Hot 100.
Fortunately, I didn't have to rely on it because I also found this, from the late Jason Molina's second band (his first was Songs: Ohia). Some nice, laidback Americana for a Tuesday morning...
Which brings us to 70. Hopefully there'll be less tumbleweed next week, though I still expect some Mott The Hoople...
(This one's about one of his hippy mother's many awful ex-boyfriends.)
When I write my memoirs You will read them with pain and with shame You'll be searching in vain for your name For your bleak, insignificant name When I write my memoirs Which will be of course in verse On the subject of you and how awful you are I will be infinitely terse... I hope I never run into Another piece of shit like you You killed my dog, you killed my mice You made my house a den of vice I laboured on your ice cream truck Whenever I was not at school You mostly used that ice cream truck To sit there guzzling beer, you tool But na na na na Na na na You're dead now Na na na na Na na na So I sing Na na na na Na na na na Life ain't all bad
I'm continuing to work my way through Stephin Merrit's audio-autobiography, 50 Song Memoir, one disc at a time... though I appear to have got stuck on disc two because it's bloody excellent, particularly the years '77 - '80. I've already featured '80 London By Jetpack here, and included '79 Rock 'n' Roll Will Ruin Your Life in the ICA I did over at JC's place. '77 may be the best "I hate you" song ever written and I will find the appropriate place for it soon, but today I have to talk about this...
The Magnetic Fields - The Blizzard of '78
One ten year old was found after three weeks
In a snowdrift ten feet from his door
Some fell asleep in their cars and awakened no more
25 people died shovelling snow
Have that done by somebody you hate
166 looters arrested, but wait
I spent the blizzard of '78
On a commune in Northern Vermont
With all the Isaac Asimov anybody could want...
I'm sorry, but if those aren't the best opening lines to any song you've heard this year, then I want to know what you think is better. But wait...
This isn't actually a song about a blizzard at all. It's about Stephin Merritt's first forays into popular music at the tender age of 13. And the lyrical references are beyond sublime... if also very, very obscure. The musos among you will surely get a chuckle.
Music was very much not allowed
So we we said, "Hey kids, let's start a band!"
Proof that Ganesh loves us
There was no tape deck at hand
The first band I'd had was called "One and a Half"
We were a duo, technically
So if Tonto's Expanding Head Band was a band
So were we...
It gets better though. To whit:
I played guitar, Chris played tin cans
Caroline played tambourine
Chris was 11, Caroline 12, I 13
We called ourselves "The Black Widows"
We weren't the last nor the first
But we were almost certainly by far the worst We made The Cramps sound orchestral
That's an achievement, I guess
As for rehearsal
We made The Shaggs sound like Yes
I dunno. Maybe this is just the kind of thing which only appeals to me because I'm obviously a bit weird, but The Blizzard of '78 has become one of my favourite songs of the year. Even though Merritt has chosen to record the music for it as though it's being played by himself and his rubbish pre-teen friends.
You could argue, of course, that pop stars already live like kings and queens, so the fact that they're always whinging about what they'd do if they had even more power and wealth is somewhat ironic. But what do we know? Peasants and commoners like us will never understand the woes of the rich and famous. (My humblest apologies if you are either rich or famous and still reading this. Please don't have me beheaded for my disrespect.)
Anyway, here's ten of the buggers to tell us about their kingly dreams...
Well, if I was king I'd sign a proclamation And if I was president I'd pass a law And I'd call for a full-blown Senate investigation Of everyone who wasn't having fun
Joe Walsh did actually run for president in 1980, promising to make Life's Been Good the American national anthem and that he'd give free gas to everyone. Reagan still won by a landslide.
And when I am king, surely I would need a queen And a palace and everything, yeah And now I am king, And my queen will come at dawn She'll be waiting in Kingston Town
And, though not actually from the 80s, really sounding like they should be: Steel Panther - If I Was The King... I think you might call that one NSFW, though I'm reliably informed it's a parody, they don't really think like that...
Great Big Sea are described by the interweb as a "Canadian folk-rock band" which makes me think of The Levellers with a maple leaf. So imagine my surprise when I discover they sound like Smash Mouth and The Offspring. Still, nice sentiment...
Well, the war's been won All the fights are fought You find yourself in just the spot It's a place where everybody's got a song to sing Just like the final movie scene The prince will find his perfect queen The hero always saves the world The villains get what they deserve The boy will always get the girl When I am king
Leave it to Colin ('cos he wrote this one: I did check, just for JC) and Andy to bring us back down to earth...
I have a feeling that when these guys are kings, there won't be any kings anymore.
Well the way that we're living, Is all take and no giving, There's nothing to believe in, The loudest mouth will hail the new found way, To be king for a day
If Rivers Cuomo was king of the world, we'd all be able to ride a greyhound all the way to the Galapagos and stay for the rest of our lives. Which would be nice.
We are the small fish We swim together No Prozac or Valium We’ll face tsunamis together
Another one from Stephin Merritt's mighty 50 Song Memoir, which I'm still enjoying the hell out of even though I'm only on disc 2. I'll have to feature some more songs from this disc soon as it's a cracker. Anyhoo...
When I am monarch of the world Weighed down by matters weighty I'll live in London once more And decree it's 1980 That all may dress as Pierrots And pirates, like their king And all will have jetpacks From club to club we'll go zooming
At the club with no name We'll dance again Vivienne Westwood Will be my queen
Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of being a king... and then became one?
Turns out that frog was Neil. And what did he do with his kingly success?
Go into therapy... and write one of his very best songs while he was there.
1. Radiohead - Paranoid Android
Radiohead's Bohemian Rhapsody. When Thom Yorke is king, we'll all be first against the wall...
As you may have noticed, I couldn't find any songs about what Joni Mitchell, Kate Bush or Annie Lennox would do if they were queen for the day*. Hmm... I wonder what that tells us...
(*I am, however, happy for you to suggest them.)
What would you do if you were king / queen for a day?
