Namesakes #104: The Firm

I'm not sure The Firm is a great name for your band. Still, I guess it's better than The Limp. And plenty of bands appear to have chosen it. Here are this week's contenders...

THE FIRM #1

We'll start today in 1980 with an obscure British punk band. This was the second b-side to their single Angry Young Men. I can't find any other tracks from them on the web, so count yourself lucky I found this one.

The Firm - Mainstream

THE FIRM #2

80s rock "supergroup" made up of Paul Rodgers, Jimmy Page, the drummer from Manfred Mann's Earth Band and fretless bass player Tony Franklin. They made two albums in '85 and '86, then called it a day. Hopefully they made enough money to buy Paul Rodgers some new buttons for his shirt...

The Firm - Tear Down The Walls 

THE FIRM #3

Boldly going forward, 'cos they can't find reverse. Grahame Lister, John O'Connor and Tony Thorpe were The Firm between 1982 and 1988, releasing the chart-topping (I bought it, for which I can only apologise) Star Trekkin' in '87. I'll spare you that. Instead, here's their far less ear-grating tribute to George Cole from a few years earlier...

The Firm - Arthur Daley (E's Alright)

THE FIRM #4

Some utter nonsense from the early 90s... Elvis would be turning in his grave (if he was actually dead).

The Firm - Jailhouse Rave

THE FIRM #5

90s rap "supergroup" led by Dr. Dre (he's not a real doctor), featuring Nas, Foxy Brown, AZ and Cormega. In 1997, they released an album of mafioso-themed rap which wasn't particularly well received, so they all went back to their day jobs.

The Firm - Phone Tap

THE FIRM #6

French hardcore techno from 2005. At least the song title is honest, though they lose marks for spelling.

The Firm - Harmfull Potential

THE FIRM #7

And finally, a Dutch Oi! band from 2011...

The Firm - Generation Broken Family

So... which is your Firm Favourite?

(Yes, this whole edition was designed just to allow me to write that line.)

Namesakes #49: The Flowerpot Men

Jim, our Dubai correspond, commented last week about this feature that it's "great hearing obscure songs we would probably otherwise would never hear, some good, some bad but always interesting". Thanks for that, Jim. I feel the same way. Which brings us to... flobadobadobadob. 

Yes, this week we're taking a listen to bands named after Bill and Ben, those peculiar stars of kids' TV who made their screen debut back in 1952... yet somehow were still being repeated 20 odd years later, while also being revived in the 80s (possibly) and then again as a ghastly 21st Century reboot. 

Let's see if we can get through these Flowerpot Men before the Man who works in the Garden comes back from his lunch...

THE FLOWER POT MEN #1

John Carter and Ken Lewis were the songwriters from The Ivy League. They'd been Tossing & Turning around the charts for a couple of years when they decided to branch out and dip their green fingers into Beach Boys-esque psychedelia with the 1967 Top 5 hit Let's Go To San Francisco. Recorded by session musicians, there wasn't really a group called The Flower Pot Men at that time, but they cobbled one together for tours and later recordings. In the States, they were known as The Flower Men, to avoid any nasty drug references...

  

THE FLOWERPOT MEN #2

I can't find out much about these guys, other than that they came from the UK, their cellist Adam Peters can be heard on The Killing Moon by Echo & The Bunnymen, and they later changed their name to Sunsonic. Their most famous song, Beat City, was an integral part of the soundtrack to Ferris Bueller's Day Off... hence it's very important to 80s kids like yours truly.

THE FLOWERPOT MEN #3

OK, deep breath. In 1987, apparently, the BBC decided to revive Bill & Ben. I can't find any mention of this on their iffypedia page, and to be honest, I couldn't be bothered to dig any deeper. However, to promote the new show they commissioned a promotional song by The Firm (TV-pop "superstars" responsible for the Number One novelty hit Star Trekkin' as well as the slightly less annoying Chas 'n' Dave-esque Minder tribute, Arfur Daley... E's Alright). The resulting promo disc is apparently now as rare as hen's teeth (and even less desirable), and to be honest, it makes Star Trekkin' sound like Wuthering Heights. Still, for the sake of completeness...

Which Flower Pot Men would you be happy to see in your garden... and which are the Weeeeeed?

TV On The Radio #12: Metal Mickey

How do you get from Mickey Dolenz to Brett Anderson with only two degrees of separation?

Metal Mickey first appeared on The Saturday Banana, a 1978 kids TV show I don't remember... probably because I was watching Swap Shop at the time. By 1980 he had graduated into his own sitcom, which also featured Irene Handl, Gary Shail from Quadrophenia and Margaret Omolola Young, the future Baroness Young of Hornsey as Janey. The show was produced, and at times directed, by one Mickey Dolenz...

As research, I watched bits of the Metal Mickey pilot episode on youtube. I didn't enjoy it as much as I did when I was 8, but Mickey seems more sarkily benign that the artificial intelligence of today.

Between 1979 and 1983, Metal Mickey released 6 singles. None of them appear to have troubled the singles chart. Here's one, which will cost you £20 for an original copy on discogs...

The Firm had a couple of novelty hits in the 80s based on the popular TV shows, Minder (Arthur Daley E's Alright) and Star Trek (Star Trekkin'... which went to Number One, which I can only apologise for, as I did buy a copy myself). Here's something else they did...

All me mates are on a diet
And I think I'd like to try it
But they take the Metal Mickey out of me
I tried to lose weight from me hips
By cutting down on silicon chips
And just the one expansion module in me tea

The Firm - Heavy Metal Robot

In 1996, Mr Dexter, Shylock & Mr Spyce were The Brotherhood. Look what happened when they got a rhyming dictionary for Christmas...

Who be motormouth Metal Mickey
Audible barrage like Pat nagging Ricky
It's sticky

The Brotherhood - Alphabetical Response

All right. You all know why we're here. 

I always assumed that the title of Suede's first Top 20 hit was some kind of 90s drug culture reference. A rave culture equivalent of a Mickey Finn, perhaps, the knockout drug of choice in all the old detective films I loved. Turns out it's actually a reference to the TV show... but why, I've no idea, since the lyrics have nothing to do with a smart-mouthed boogieing robot, and were apparently written as an ode to KatieJane Garside, the lead singer of Daisy Chainsaw. 

She sells hearts
She sells meat
Oh, dad, she's driving me mad
Come see, ay-ay

I've no idea if KatieJane worked in Brett Anderson's local butcher's shop on a weekend (the video suggests she might have done) but I always thought "Oh, dad, she's driving me mad" was a great chorus line.

Boogie Boogie. 

My Top Ten Spock Songs

There are some cultural icons who will never / can never / should never die. For my generation, and the one before it (and many of those who followed), they are our living legends.

I already posted one Top Ten today, but I guess that's lost to history now. There are some I have to write - and post - immediately. It's only logical.

RIP Leonard Nimoy. Live long and prosper in our memories. I have been, and always shall be, your friend.

(Special mention to Spock's Beard.)



10. Leonard Nimoy - The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins

Let's start with the man himself, and possibly his most infamous musical moment. Derided in some quarters but still more watchable (shorter, at least) than any of the Peter Jackson movies. It's not the best song he ever recorded - he does a really nice version of Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town that's almost up to Kenny Rogers' standards - but the video is out of this world.

9. William Shatner - You'll Have Time

 It seems only fair that having heard from the great man himself, we also hear from this guy. I'm of the opinion that Shatner has recorded a great many fine records (don't worry, I'm on tablets), but this seemed most appropriate today...

Live life like you're gonna die...
Because you're gonna!

8. The Firm - Star Trekkin'

You probably ought to have been 15 in 1987 to appreciate this one.

It's life, Jim
But not as we know it...

7. Adam & The Ants - Friends 

Adam is a friend of Mr. Spock... and a bunch of other people too.

6. Old Gray - Vulcan Death Grip

A very nice noise, introduced by a famous soundbite from the man himself.

5. Paul Gilbert - Mr. Spock

Paul Gilbert used to be Mr. Big. But don't hold that against him. This is a great little spock-rock song.

4. Spizzenergi - Where's Captain Kirk?

Spock pulls them through.

3. Nerf Herder - Mr. Spock

Of course, strictly speaking, a nerf herder is from another galaxy, far, far away...

You don't want a boyfriend...
What you want is Mr. Spock!

2. The Beastie Boys - Intergalactic

If you try to knock me, you'll get mocked
I'll stir fry you in my wok
Your knees'll start shaking and your fingers pop
Like a pinch on the neck of Mr. Spock

See also Sneakin' Out The Hospital, where Adam claims to be smarter than Spock. Never!

1. Supertramp - The Logical Song

Well, it had to be, didn't it? In the end, it was the only logical choice.

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
A miracle, 
Oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, 
Well they'd be singing so happily,
Joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,
Logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
Clinical, intellectual, cynical.

Those were my Spock songs. Which is the logical choice for you?