Celebrity Jukebox #2: Ursula Andress

If you can name more than one Ursula Andress role, you're better than me. Still, if you're going to be famous for only one part, at least make it iconic. There's no doubt that Ursula's bikini-clad entrance in Dr. No went down in history... to the point that they even had Daniel Craig parody it in his first Bond film. Which was probably the best bit of any of his films. It was all downhill from there.

Likewise, I knew of only one song that featured the first ever Bond girl... though it turns out she has more than one song named after her. The one I didn't know, mercifully, was this: from a Nu Metal band so obscure, I can't even find them on iffypedia...

Elecktra - Ursula Andress

"Love is a gun..."
That's what she says...
While I'm crying with a gunshot on her bed...
On and oh, she's shooting near to me
And I'm bleeding on her bed
And she doesn't care...
On and oh, she can clean her sheets,
She could erase her head,
With detergent

I'm really hoping that English isn't their native language, otherwise there's no excuse for those lyrics.

Slightly more palatable... but only just... is Ursula's lyrical appearance in the 90s Broadway musical Violet, described as "the story of a young disfigured woman who embarks on a journey by bus from her farm in Spruce Pine, North Carolina, all the way to Tulsa, Oklahoma in order to be healed." I'm guessing it's pretty worthy.

MONTY:
You should ask that preacher for some Ursula Andress legs.
VIOLET:
No, I think my legs are fine.
MONTY:
No, but rising outta the ocean in that white Dr. No bikini...
VIOLET:
What's a matter wit my legs?
MONTY:
Well, nothing. They're long.
VIOLET:
Well why did you bring them up at all?

I bet that's right up George's street.

Ursula also gets a mention in a live album by The Kingston Trio, though it's an intro section, not an actual song. Still, so far this is the winner...

The Kingston Trio - A Day In Our Room (Live)

I just chose to sit in my velour overalls and build a Revel kit of Ursula Andress, 

A few glue marks but a good job otherwise...

As for an actual song... I guess this one might just count, from a Brooklyn band described on youtube as "L7 meets the Dandy Warhols"... can't say I find their chosen band name particularly endearing though. 

Total Rubbish - Honey Ryder

A beauty queen

A silver screen

Here's your chance go and find her

Let me be your Honey Ryder

But enough of all that. There was one song good enough to get Ursula a starring role in this feature. And the rule is: I only need one. Here's London-based Americana outfit Curse Of Lono, with a stand out track from last year's album People In Cars...

Wo Ho My My, we're sipping margaritas on the back seat

And she's singing to the radio

My My Hey Hey, Honey's just a dream

And she feels like Ursula Andress when she's stoned