Snapshots #457: Loadsa-money songs!

Bosh bosh, zum zum, wallop - DOSH!

15. Honest stereos may not sound right.

"Honest stereos" was an anagram.

The Stone Roses - Fool's Gold

14. The end of the Affair.

He was the lead singer of The Love Affair, then he went solo...

Steve Ellis - Loot

13. If you think I'm putting one of those on my head, you must be joking.

...or Joe King. With his Crowns.

Joe King Carrasco & The Crowns - Dinero

12. Oh in your council home, he jumped on your bones, ow you're smelling it time after time.

Lyrics from Animal Nitrate by Suede, which is a radio-friendly way of referring to Amyl Nitrate.

Amyl & The Sniffers - Capital

11. Three blokes from Hull.

Or Kingston Upon Hull, to give it its full name.

Kingston Trio - Greenback Dollar

10. Managing Directors use ancient Jedi mind tricks.

The Force MDs - Tender Love

9. Wind blows down from the Sports Shoe Shop.

Southerly from JD Sports.

JD Souther - Fifteen Bucks

8. Everything must go, even one of your Es, says Bell and Orbit.

Take an E from Clearance to leave Clarence. Bell and Orbit are Williams.

Clarence Williams - Bacon Blues

7. Dirty... ...Poltergeist.

Dirty Harry meets the Enfield Poltergeist.

Harry Enfield - Loadsa Money

Elon Musk saw that video at a very early age and it made quite an impression.

6. Can be arch, always sad.

Arch-deacon gets blue.

Deacon Blue - Wages Day 

...or...

Deacon Blue - Riches

5. That's quite a coup for an officer.

Pigeons live in a coop and go coo.

Lieutenant Pigeon - Mouldy Old Dough

4. The King complains - that's not a Roman Century!

King Charles says you don't write 100 as XCX.

Charli XCX - Gold Coins

3. Dr. Dre's latest headphones.

The Newbeats - Bread & Butter

2. The Charlatans!

The Pretenders - Brass In Pocket

1. Don't be scared to cry.

Tears For Fears - Change

Start saving up for more Snapshots next Saturday.

Celebrity Jukebox #2: Ursula Andress

If you can name more than one Ursula Andress role, you're better than me. Still, if you're going to be famous for only one part, at least make it iconic. There's no doubt that Ursula's bikini-clad entrance in Dr. No went down in history... to the point that they even had Daniel Craig parody it in his first Bond film. Which was probably the best bit of any of his films. It was all downhill from there.

Likewise, I knew of only one song that featured the first ever Bond girl... though it turns out she has more than one song named after her. The one I didn't know, mercifully, was this: from a Nu Metal band so obscure, I can't even find them on iffypedia...

Elecktra - Ursula Andress

"Love is a gun..."
That's what she says...
While I'm crying with a gunshot on her bed...
On and oh, she's shooting near to me
And I'm bleeding on her bed
And she doesn't care...
On and oh, she can clean her sheets,
She could erase her head,
With detergent

I'm really hoping that English isn't their native language, otherwise there's no excuse for those lyrics.

Slightly more palatable... but only just... is Ursula's lyrical appearance in the 90s Broadway musical Violet, described as "the story of a young disfigured woman who embarks on a journey by bus from her farm in Spruce Pine, North Carolina, all the way to Tulsa, Oklahoma in order to be healed." I'm guessing it's pretty worthy.

MONTY:
You should ask that preacher for some Ursula Andress legs.
VIOLET:
No, I think my legs are fine.
MONTY:
No, but rising outta the ocean in that white Dr. No bikini...
VIOLET:
What's a matter wit my legs?
MONTY:
Well, nothing. They're long.
VIOLET:
Well why did you bring them up at all?

I bet that's right up George's street.

Ursula also gets a mention in a live album by The Kingston Trio, though it's an intro section, not an actual song. Still, so far this is the winner...

The Kingston Trio - A Day In Our Room (Live)

I just chose to sit in my velour overalls and build a Revel kit of Ursula Andress, 

A few glue marks but a good job otherwise...

As for an actual song... I guess this one might just count, from a Brooklyn band described on youtube as "L7 meets the Dandy Warhols"... can't say I find their chosen band name particularly endearing though. 

Total Rubbish - Honey Ryder

A beauty queen

A silver screen

Here's your chance go and find her

Let me be your Honey Ryder

But enough of all that. There was one song good enough to get Ursula a starring role in this feature. And the rule is: I only need one. Here's London-based Americana outfit Curse Of Lono, with a stand out track from last year's album People In Cars...

Wo Ho My My, we're sipping margaritas on the back seat

And she's singing to the radio

My My Hey Hey, Honey's just a dream

And she feels like Ursula Andress when she's stoned

Snapshots #241: A Top Ten Wandering Songs

Yesterday Henry, today Bridget. (Jane has featured here before.) Two Fondas, because they rhyme with Wander. And because I couldn't find a picture of either Wanda Jackson or Elizabeth Olsen holding a camera. 

Anyway, here are ten great songs to wander to...

10. Sounds like nobility is only down the road in the local municipality.

The Earl is just in town.

Justin Townes Earl - Wanderin'

(Don't even start me on the Queen making Doncaster a city but not Huddersfield. Don't even start me.)

9. Et tu, dosh?

U2, Cash?

Johnny Cash & U2 - The Wanderer

8. Shroud + Cane.

A pall and a birch.

Paul Burch - Wander

7. Shorn in Syria.

Anagram!

Harry Nilsson - As I Wander Lonely

6. What snails use to play golf.

Slow Club - Wanderer Wandering

5. Jamaican hat trick.

The Kingston Trio - The Wanderer 

4. Pink planet.

If you like your steak pink...

The Rare Earth - Born To Wander

3. Almost makes me want to Call Saul...

Jimmy McGill, aka Saul Goodman, in the best show on TV at the moment, is played by Bob Odenkirk. Which almost sounds like...

The Obernkirchen Children's Choir - The Happy Wanderer

Don't laugh. That was in the UK charts for SIX months back in 1954.

2. Sounds like half a Eurovision winner.

Celine Dion won Eurovision for Switzerland in 1988... even though she's Canadian. 

Dion - The Wanderer

1. Jeans make him paranoid.

Lee Jeans make him a Paranoid Android... like Marvin.

Lee Marvin - Wandrin' Star

Do I know where hell is? Hell is in hello. Heaven is goodbye for ever, it's time for me to go...

...but I'll be back here next Saturday, because I've never seen a Snapshot that didn't look better looking back.

My Top Ten Molly Songs (Tribute To Molly The Cat Part 2)

Molly getting ready to go on holiday with us.

In the inevitable follow-up to last night's post: ten Molly songs.

The main reason I write, the main reason I've always written... stories, comics, novels, plays, blogs, anything... is to try to make sense of it all. Writing these posts has been cathartic. Thanks for all the kind words.



10. The Kingston Trio - Run, Molly, Run / Molly Dee

I was fortunate to stumble across a box set compilation of early Kingston Trio albums in a charity shop a year or so back. Here's two for the price of one from that collection.

9. The dB's - Molly Says

Top mid-80s powerpop racket. Great lyrics.

She could stand at the top of the world
And still complain that she could not see
She could stand in a deep dark hole
And still look down on me

8. Kings of Leon - Molly's Chambers

On paper, the Kings of Leon should exactly the kind of band I dote over. I just never quite got it, though. Still, this is undoubtedly one of their best.

7. Strawberry Story - Molly Ringwald

I'm sure one of my fellow bloggers will be able to tell you a lot more about Strawberry Story than I can (Brian? JC?) but any band that namechecks 80s teen heroine Molly Ringwald scores points in my record collection.

6. Travis - Only Molly Knows

One for Martin, I'm sure.

Arguably the best song on The Man Who was the hidden track, Blue Flashing Light. Turns out that on the US edition of the CD, there were three hidden tracks. None of them particularly shabby.

5. The People The Poet - Molly Drove Me Away

Contemporary Welsh rock that sounds like it hails from New Jersey? Yes, please.

4. Kenny Rogers & The First Edition - Molly

Epic country tragedy. The internet claims this was written by Alex Harvey... but surely that must be some other Alex Harvey?

3. The Vaselines / Nirvana - Molly's Lips

The original is an off-kilter classic, obviously. No wonder it was one of Kurt's favourite records.

2. Emily Kinney - Molly

So much more interesting as a singer-songwriter than she ever got to be on The Walking Dead.

1. Little Richard - Good Golly, Miss Molly

One of the most influential recordings in the history of rock 'n' roll? Check. Seems like a fine place to end this tribute to a unique feline.



What's your favourite Molly song? (Points will be deducted for suggesting Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Dah because it's bloody annoying. If you're one of those people who doesn't read to the end of the post, don't say you weren't warned.)