Mid-Life Crisis Songs #22: My Hometown

I've joined a couple of groups recently on facebook in which people share old photos of the local area, and it's all become a bit of an addiction. Part of the fun is seeing my hometown (Huddersfield) and surrounding areas in days gone by - long before I was born in many cases. Often people will post photos of what the same area looks like now. Old buildings long since knocked down to be replaced by new... and in the majority of cases, the new ones aren't a patch on what was there before. This is surely a sign of ageing: nothing seems as good as it used to be. (Yes, yes, I know, nostalgia is all about rose-coloured glasses. But it's reassuring to cling to the myth of the past.)

The biggest thrill, however, comes from seeing pictures straight out of my childhood in the 70s and 80s. It's like a time machine, without the need for plutonium or a lightning bolt. The pictures on this page all show the old ABC cinema in Huddersfield, one of two town centre cinemas when I was a lad, both long gone. The two photos above are from before my time, but the one below - even though I can't work out what film is showing - is as I remember it. My main memory of this cinema is of my mum taking me and my mate Liam to see Blade Runner there in 1982. We were both very exciting about this film as it was being marketed heavily to Star Wars fans because of Harrison Ford's involvement and even serialised in the weekly comics we read.

Imagine our horror then when we discovered that the film was rated AA, and that we wouldn't be allowed to see it till we were 14! Give my mum credit though, she fought her corner, telling the woman on the counter that she'd cover our eyes if there were any horrible bits. Sadly, it didn't work...

The ABC closed the following year and was knocked down soon after to build a Sainsbury's. I was interested to read that the cinema played host to both The Beatles and The Rolling Stones in years gone by. The Beatles played there in 1963, when a ticket would have cost you 32p. Here's the cinema preparing for their arrival...

Beatles aside though, there was only one song I could play to go along with this post...

22. Bruce Springsteen - My Hometown

I was eight years old and running with a dime in my hand
Into the bus stop to pick up a paper for my old man
I'd sit on his lap in that big old Buick and steer as we drove through town
He'd tousle my hair and say son take a good look around
This is your hometown...

Now Main Street's whitewashed windows and vacant stores
Seems like there ain't nobody wants to come down here no more
They're closing down the textile mill across the railroad tracks
Foreman says these jobs are going boys and they ain't coming back
To your hometown...

Saturday Snapshots #27 - The Answers

Well, I tried to make them easier this week... but they're a lot easier when you can see inside my brain and know the answers.



10. Follow the laurel path along the top of the mountains and no one will see you.

Lynchie got the Stan Laurel connection, Alyson puzzled out the rest.

Stan Ridgway - Camouflage 

That was an awfully big marine!

9. Nonsense friends proselytize.

Friends = chums, proselytize = tubthump. The rest is nonsense as far as I can tell. You come up with a better clue!

Chumbawamba - Tubthumping

I get knocked down, but I get up again...

8. Oy! Good guys join the queue in church.

Choirboys in a queue would be Quireboys. Oy is a less polite way of saying Hey You!

Rigid Digit tells me this isn't their finest moment... but it was their biggest hit.

The Quireboys - Hey You!

7. Collins plays a cop in Jerusalem.

No need to call the cops on Chris!

Joan As Policewoman - Holy City

6. Unremarkable Barry deals with a broken cup.

Lynchie was the early bird this week, getting first choice of the juiciest worms. Barry White was anything but average.

Average White Band - Pick Up The Pieces

5. Genius is so close to insanity - take a seat and ponder that.

As I type, nobody's got this yet... which makes rather sad.

Furniture - (You Must Be Out Of Your) Brilliant Mind

4. Pink like Heinz. No doorbell.

Pink Floyd. Heinz sang "Just Like Eddie".

Another one for Lynchie.

Eddie Floyd - Knock On Wood

3.  "This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship," or "Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads." Werewolves: run for your lives!

Charity Chic got the band straight away, then we trawled our way through Bob Seger's entire back catalogue before Chris got the song.

The two lines quoted came from the final scenes of Casablanca and Back To The Future, in case you were wondering.

Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band - The Famous Final Scene

2. Sounds like Jeanette's mother. We're over: do I have to spell it out to you?

Rhymes with Mammy Jeanette? Not my best effort, I know. Fortunately, Lynchie saved me from embarrassment.

Tammy Wynette - D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

1. Second degree burns. Wouldn't wanna be ya!

Second place gets the Silver medal. The Sun burns.




Early Bird Lynchie takes the title this week.

As long as you keep playing, I'll keep digging them out.

More next Saturday...

Saturday Snapshots #27

And the wind cries, "Saturday Snapshots!"

Identify ten artists and ten songs from the clues below, please...



10. Follow the laurel path along the top of the mountains and no one will see you.

9. Nonsense friends proselytize.

8. Oy! Good guys join the queue in church.

7. Collins plays a cop in Jerusalem.

6. Unremarkable Barry deals with a broken cup.

5. Genius is so close to insanity - take a seat and ponder that.

4. Pink like Heinz. No doorbell.

3.  "This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship," or "Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads." Werewolves: run for your lives!

2. Sounds like Jeanette's mother. We're over: do I have to spell it out to you?

1. Second degree burns. Wouldn't wanna be ya!

Are you experienced enough to get them all?

Answers tomorrow.

Grumpy Old Men Songs #1

This series is not replacing Mid-Life Crisis Songs: it's designed to run alongside it. You may argue that I'm too young to qualify as a Grumpy Old Man, but I would counter thus:

1) Most of the artists I grew up with, being considerably older than me, definitely fit that category now, and this is designed to celebrate them.

2) Almost thirty years ago, when I'd just started the Sixth Form, doing my A Levels, my nickname was "Victor Meldrew"... so I have always been a GOM at heart.


1. John Mellencamp - Sad Clowns

A recent post over at The Vinyl Villain (of all places!) reminded me how much I love John Mellencamp. I thought about doing a series just about him, celebrating all the great songs nobody knows from him... but I thought that might be self-indulgent (like that's ever stopped me). I got into him as a teenager and though we lost touch a little in the noughties, he's always been there for me.

This is from his most recent (23rd!) studio album, released about a year ago. As grumpy old men go, it's pretty mild. Don't worry - they'll get grumpier!

Well, I don't wait on women

I don't open doors

I'm not much of a gentleman

And by the way, I keep score

So if you are thinking

You're sitting on top of the world with me

Baby, you'd better think again

I don't care for girls

Who give compliments to themselves

How glamorous they are

And how they're really something else

I've been taken in

By women like that before

So baby, you'd better think again

I could be more accommodating

But somehow it's lost on me

And all this useless talking

About how it's going to be

I'll come along for the ride

And this sad clown company

Hey baby, you'd better think again

No video available, so here's a link...

John Mellencamp - Sad Clowns

Radio Songs #33: My Top Ten Radio Dial Songs

It could be argued that the opening of Rush's Spirit Of Radio features a guitar that sounds like a radio being retuned... but I'm saving that Canadian classic for a future edition of Radio Songs. In the meantime, here are ten songs that actually begin with the sound of a radio dial being retuned. Some have featured here before, but not for that reason.

With the advent of digital radio, tuning round the dial is becoming a thing of the past in the same way that tuning in your TV channels has. Kids these days don't know what they're missing...


10. ELO - Mr. Blue Sky

Still one of the greatest pop songs ever recorded (I know I say that a lot - but there are lots of them): I'm only putting it at #10 because it's featured here many times before.

Mr. Blue Sky has something of an identity crisis though. It begins with a radio dial tuning into a weather forecast... but ends with a request to "please turn me over", which suggests it knew it was just a record all along.

See also Mr. Radio.

9. Falco - Vienna Calling

Because he wasn't just about rocking Amadeus.

8. Skee-Lo - I Wish

If you're tuning in your ghetto blaster, here's the prefect tune.

7. Fastball - The Way

Slacker anthem - for the days when even retuning the radio is an effort!

6. Gruff Rhys - Shark Ridden Waters 

Hotwiring your car on the beach causes the radio to retune, apparently.

5. Flaming Lips - Turn It On

If you ever get bored in the launderette, try retuning your radio.

4. Eels - Mr. E's Beautiful Blues

If you're looking for an Eels song on the radio, you couldn't do better than this sunshiny pop gem.

Goddamn right, it's a beautiful day!

3. The Carpenters - Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft

Space aliens, it seems, tune around the dial until they can find a request show...

2. The Ramones - Rock & Roll Radio

Whereas Joey and the gang tune around the dial until they find a radio station that plays it like they used to...

This is rock 'n' roll radio - come on, let's rock 'n' roll with the Ramones!

1. Dexys Midnight Runners - Burn It Down

Originally released under the title Dance Stance, this was Dexys' first 7" single. It was re-recorded and rechristened Burn It Down as the opening track to their 1980 debut album Searching For The Young Soul Rebels.

The record begins with 50 seconds of the band tuning around the radio dial, hearing snippets of Deep Purple, the Sex Pistols and the Specials amid the shipping forecasts and brass bands, before Rowland turns off the radio and shouts to Big Jim Paterson, "For god's sake, burn it down!"

The rest is history...



Any great retuning tunes in your collection?