Namesakes #28: The Real Thing

In 1992, The Irish Band bludgeoned their way into the singles chart with a song called Even Better Than The Real Thing. Of all the self-aggrandizing bullshit Boneo has spouted during his reign of torpor, this is surely the most egregious. The Irish Band were never better than The Real Thing... whether that real thing be Coca-Cola or any of the bands below. I say shame on you for even suggesting it, Mr. Hewson.

THE REAL THING #1

The first Real Thing came from the US, and appear to have featured Dennis Walley, a guitarist who worked with both Frank Zappa and Captain Beefheart, and Stu Gardner, a soul man who wrote the theme tune to The Cosby Show. Although he's probably taken that off his CV now.

I listened to a bunch of their songs for the first time today and they were all Much Better Than Boneo & His Mates... but this was my favourite.

THE REAL THING #2

The Ronettes song, written by Barry Mann, Phil Spector, and Cynthia Weil, here recorded in 1967 as the sole release for New Zealand's The Real Thing... if only Boneo had stopped after one song!

THE REAL THING #3

Originating in Liverpool in 1970, the Real Thing everyone knows (and everyone knows they're Better Than U2) made frequent chart appearances throughout the next two decades. 

When I was a lovelorn teenager, I devoured songs that echoed my unrequited yearnings. The twin colossi of You To Me Are Everything and Can't Get By Without Me helped me through many a long dark night of the adolescent soul, I tell you...

 

THE REAL THING #4

Also arriving in 1970, our fourth Real Thing is a one-off single from Louis Ramirez, "the Quincy Jones of Salsa"... 'nuff said. It's Even Better Than... well, I'm sure I don't need to keep flogging that joke into the ground, do I?

THE REAL THING #5

And finally, here's some Norwegian jazz... you can complete this sentence however you see fit.

Sadly, I couldn't find the 70s Christian Psych Rock Real Thing or the Hard House Real Thing from the year 2000 with their delightfully named banger (and I use that term in full acceptance of its repugnance), "Fuck All Night". However, the fact that I can't find them anywhere online instantly makes them better than U2... since due to their infamous Apple-drop, you can't help but find those buggers everywhere, even if you don't want to. 

But which one do you consider to be The Real Thing?