Snapshots #294: A Top Ten Songs You'd Find In A Toolbox

Whose image could be more appropriate for a Top Ten songs about Tools than the voice of Buzz Lightyear, American comic Tim Allen? Not because he's a colossal tool... because he was the star of "hilarious" 90s sitcom Home Improvements. Of course...

 

10. What you'd call three J-Los.

A trinity of Lopez...

Trini Lopez - If I Had A Hammer

9. Alecia Moore Angry!

Alecia Moore is P!nk. These guys look pretty cross.

Pink Kross - Hacksaw

8. I'm Ezra Kelt, very confused.

"I'm Ezra Kelt" is an anagram for...

Mark Eitzel - Fresh Screwdriver

7. Sounds like a subtle, non-aggressive advertising campaign.

They're using the soft sell technique.

Soft Cell - Torch

Look, you may not have a torch in your toolbox, but all the online guides recommend one. A lot of research goes into this feature, you know!

6. A Blur of Fruit Pastilles.

Fruit Pastilles are made by Rowntrees. Dave is from Blur, but was also a Labour councillor from 2017 - 2021, hence the tie.

Dave Rowntree - Tape Measure

5. Distant relatives of Phil, Joan and Lewis?

Phil Collins, Joan Collins and Lewis Collins might be distantly related to Ansell Collins... but not to Dave, whose surname is Barker.

Dave & Ansell Collins - Monkey Spanner

4. Might be hard men when they grow up...

...but they were just Soft Boys.

The Soft Boys - Do The Chisel

3. What the monks drink when there's a storm outside their house... and they're Making Plans for Ellie.

When there's a gale outside the abbey, the monks drink mead. We're making plans for Nigel and Ellie Goulding.

Abigail Mead & Nigel Goulding - Full Metal Jacket (I Wanna Be Your Drill Instructor)

2. Two men, a drum machine and (occasionally) a trumpet.

Ian and Will were the main Bunnymen, with their drum machine was called Echo... or was it? There's definitely a trumpet on this track though...

Echo & The Bunnymen - The Cutter

1. UFOs.

"An unidentified flying object, originally one of a kind reported by US pilots during the Second World War, usually described as a bright light or ball of fire" was known as a Foo Fighter.

Get tooled up for more Snapshots next Saturday...

My Top Ten Dinosaur Songs (Volume 2)

ROAAAAAR!


And we're back - with songs featuring specific (rather than generic) dinosaurs. Thanks for your suggestions... even with them, this week's Top Ten proved a lot trickier than expected. Probably because dinosaurs don't obviously rhyme with anything else - except other dinosaurs. Unless you're Prince. Anyway, these may not be the best ten tunes I've ever featured, but they do all feature specific dinosaurs. No Triceratops or diplodocuses though, sadly.


Special mention to Terry Dactyl & The Dinosaurs - with thanks to Alyson (and Lynchie for the history lesson).

10. Kasabian - Velociraptor

I'll grudgingly put this at #10, because I never really got Kasabian... or velociraptors. I was convinced when Jurassic Park first came out that they were just a figment of Michael Crichton had made up. Seriously, had you ever heard of a velociraptor before then?

9. Enter Shikari - Hello Tyrannosaurus, Meet Tyrannicide

Shouty-shouty-shouty... but still more interesting than Kasabian.

8. Big Brother & The Holding Company - Caterpillar

Yes, I know a caterpillar isn't a dinosaur. But there are pterodactyls in this song too! With added Janis Joplin.

7. The Soft Boys - The Pigworker

Surprised The Swede didn't suggest this one... I bet he's kicking himself now!

So the Pterodactyl wore a hood of leather
And he opened everybody, even Heather
With her foaming roses and broken hair
She was all used up

No idea. But it doesn't sound very nice, does it?

6. The Gourds - Fossil Contender

Bit of a cheat this one, but I like The Gourds... and all dinosaurs pretty much ended up as fossils, right?

5. T-Rex - Summer Deep

T-Rex singing about pterodactyls! There's more generic dinosaur action from Mr. Bolan in Truck On Tyke.

4. Ash - T Rex

I'm presuming this is their tribute to Marc Bolan... but it could be about an actual T-Rex. Always hard to tell when it comes to Ash songs - they could be about anything. Nice noise though.

3. Super Furry Animals - Hit & Run / Psyclone!


The Swede offered Hit & Run, with lots of dinosauric lyrics to choose from, including a bit about  "Pterodactyls flying round my attic"... but surely I can trump that with Psyclone…?

Pterodactyl, Brontosaurus
Tyrannosaurus Rex gather around
The sound of thunder now awaits us
A meteorite is coming on down

Hit & Run is probably the better song though.

2. Prince - Dinner With Delores

Only Prince could rhyme Delores with Brontosaurus and make it work...

1. The Move - Brontosaurus

Most popular suggestion from you guys... well, Lynchie and Rigid Digit both voted for it. Seems like the obvious winner this week...

Frank N. Furter Tim Curry does an interesting version of this too.