Not a Grumpy Old Man song, but one about growing older that - well, if it doesn't break your heart, then there's a rock in its place. I was reminded of this song by God himself - the great Jimmy Webb, recently interviewed on t'wireless by Johnnie Walker, who quoted these lyrics when asked how it feels to have turned 70.
This Is All I Ask was written by Gordon Jenkins, a composer and arranger who worked with Sinatra and Nat King Cole back in the glory days. I've not heard any of the other versions, but it always takes some to beat Harry Nilsson in my mind...
As I approach the prime of my life
I find I have the time of my life
Learning to enjoy at my leisure
All the simple pleasures
And so I happily concede
That this is all I ask
This is all I need
Beautiful girls, walk a little slower when you walk by me
Lingering sunsets, stay a little longer with the lonely sea
Children everywhere, when you shoot at bad men, shoot at me
Take me to that strange, enchanted land grown-ups seldom understand
Wandering rainbows, leave a bit of colour for my heart to own
Stars in the sky, make my wish come true before the night has flown
And let the music play as long as there's a song to sing
Always a good idea to take the lens cap off before you take a picture, Eric.
What a Strange Brew there was in this week's pile of Snapshots. Well done for guessing them - you all did Wonderful Tonight (well, yesterday morning). By my reckoning, it was a dead heat between Lynchie and Alyson this week, with 3 points each... though I'm tempted to award the tie-breaker to Lynchie for his amazing claim to fame at being the first journalist to ever write about The Sutherland Brothers & Quiver. (And that is why you ought to have your own blog, Lynchie.)
10. Rabbits in discount top hats for lil' Jeff and Bev.
Pulling a rabbit from a discount top hat would be a Cheap Trick.
Jeff Lynne & Bev Bevan were founding members of ELO.
On his third solo album, Jack White steps out of the safe, traditionalist confines of his previous records (all recorded analogue with antique guitars on wax cylinder) to embrace the modern age. He also makes a bid for rock royalty by channelling both Prince and Queen in places. It's his most bonkers record yet, but largely it works.
The album starts out with a pretty typical fuzz-guitar work out, Connected By Love, probably the most Jack White song on here. The first taste of Prince (via James Brown) appears on track 3, Corporation - seriously, close your eyes and you'll see purple. He's even got the Alphabet Street scream in there. And there's more of that to come on Ice Station Zebra.
Recent single Over and Over and Over is the closest we get to the big riffmaster of old, coupled with some multi-tracked vocals Freddie and Bryan would be reasonably happy with.
The lyrics, as usual, are nonsense. JW's never been a great lyricist, but he's OK when he embraces his mad side. Why Walk A Dog? seems to be a plea for us all to free our pet pooches. Abulia & Akrasia embraces his long-held desire to be Johnny Depp. On Get In The Mindshaft, White reveals how he learned to play piano in an old abandoned house. Yes, it's basically Sparky's Magic Piano. Final track Humoresque was written by Al Capone. No, really.
And then, on tracks like Hypermisophoniac and Everything You've Ever Learned, things go really crazy. Radiohead meets Primal Scream meets Prince (again) meets experimental jazz meets the noise you hear coming from a lunatic asylum at three o'clock in the morning.
It shouldn't work. It should be an unlistenable mess. Indeed, some reviewers have taken to dubbing it White's grand folly. But for me, it does. It takes a bit of getting into, obviously, but once you do, there's much to enjoy. If you dig bonkers.
As there's a new Jurassic Park World movie out this week, it seems an appropriate time to dust off a Top Ten that's been sitting in the cupboard for a while now.
This is part one though... next week, I'll do tens songs about specific dinosaurs (or at least ones that mention specific dinosaurs). I have a fair few pterodactyls, brontosauruses and (obviously) T-Rex, but your suggestions are welcome.
In the meantime, special mention must obviously go to... Dinosaur Jr, The Last Dinosaurs, Brontosaurus Chorus, Jurassic Five and... Marc Bolan.
When I originally started this series, many moons ago, I promised ten songs I hated when I was a kid but don't mind as much now. This is excellent news because it means I only need to think of two more.
8. Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Relax!
What did I object to the most about Relax! when it dominated the UK singles chart in 1984?
Was it Paul Morley's contrived, controversy-baiting PR campaign?
Was it the fact that the BBC (spearheaded by moral bastion* Mike 'tennis racket' Read) chose to ban it, thereby making the song far more desirable to teenagers everywhere?
Was it the fact that the band continually denied - against all evidence - that the lyrics were explicitly sexual and instead claimed it was "motivational"?
I suppose the answer is all of the above... and yet, none of them.
I was 11 in January of '84, when this record was at Number One. And the think that irked me the most was the among my peers, loads of other 11 and 12 year olds were walking around wearing Relax! T-shirts and shouting "When you want to COME!" even though they really didn't have a clue what they were on about. Arguably nowadays your average 11 or 12 year old would have more of an idea - sadly - but we were (mostly) blissfully ignorant / innocent back then. We just knew it was a bit mucky, and that made it cool.
Why did I hate Relax!? For the same reason I hated Baggy Trousers a couple of years earlier... because everyone else my age loved it. That was really all the reason I needed.
Nowadays, I hear Relax! in a totally different way. It's a Trevor Horn masterpiece really, as perfect in its own way as Video Killed The Radio Star or Owner of a Lonely Heart. The fact that Holly Johnson is the only member of FGTH to actually appear on the final track (apart from the sound effect of the rest of the band jumping into a swimming pool) only seals that.
Frankie enjoyed a couple more moments of pop genius (both much better than Relax!) before imploding in the glorious way all over-hyped bands do. The BBC relinquished its ban on the song and everyone forget it was mucky. George Michael did the whole thing again with a lot more class a few years later. Then Ross from Friends wore a Relax! T-shirt and killed its cool credentials forever. Paul Morley is still an arse.
French indie dream-pop band Tahiti 80 give us our image this week... but which 80 song will be the winner?
Lots of you thought I might have to go down the 1980 or eighties route, but I managed to get away with avoiding the year (or the decade!) again this week. Still, good suggestions from...
However, I'm going to ignore all of those, I'm afraid... because I have to go classic this week.
The song Around The World was written for the 1956 movie Around The World In 80 Days and recorded by lots of the usual suspects, including Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and Nat King Cole. The track was also recorded by Diana Ross & The Supremes (under the film's full title of Around The World In 80 Days) in 1965 for an album that wasn't actually released until 2004.Anyway, here it is... I can't ever resist the Supremes...
