Welcome back to Saturday Snapshots - the quiz that has No Mercy. Hopefully you won't find this week's answers too (L.A.) Confidential... or have to go 8 Mile to find them.
Terrible puns all, but I'm saving the best / obvious one for the end of the post.
Anyway, you didn't come here for the puns (well, apart from Alyson), you came here for the clues...
10. Ignominious 14th. Righteous Scrooge.
9. Mick's Zen octet plays California.
8. A Harts non-event, 4 prime.
7. Caviar in a spin.
6. Stop trying to find fault, like Tom The Duck.
5. Coo-lumbo, Sherlock Homing and Agent Coop-er remove a lady's rear.
4. Asda clothes take the mick, with a coral... um... hang on, hang on... I'll finish this clue in a minute...
3. Kate & Fred love them. Hahahaha!
2. Beautiful baptism bowl, full of potassium.
1. Bother not, between the roads.
Fortunately, you won't have to wait 9 ½ weeks for the answer - they'll be here tomorrow morning.
I'm not saying this is going become a regular feature. We'll see how it goes down. I suspect it will go down really, really badly... in which case, I might well make it into a regular feature.
I had no idea who Rex Smith was until Tuesday night when I was watching a Robert Palmer video on youtube and found Rex in my side bar. I've no idea why that would be, as Rex is about as far from Robert Palmer as Ozzy Osborne is, but I suspect it's more to do with my youtube browsing history that the site now randomly picks some truly awful things to throw my way.
Except, this isn't awful.
Those of you who like the original will hate it. (But then, I like the original...)
Those of you who are too cool for school will hate it. (But then, remember the original mantra of this blog: irk the musos!)
Those of you with a soft spot for Rachel Sweet may well secretly like it, but just pretend to hate it because that's the cool thing to do.
Those of you with no shame at all though...?
Apparently, Rex Smith was a teen heart throb in the states. Apparently he played Jesse Mach in Streethawk, which I vaguely remember watching... but it was no Airwolf or Manimal. Apparently he was also the first actor to play the Marvel superhero Daredevil in The Trial of the Incredible Hulk. Which, despite being a huge Marvel fan, and the fact that I owe a lot of that to Bill Bixby, I have never seen.
Apparently this was a Top 40 hit in the UK in 1981... but I'll be damned if I remember it.
Anyway, put your cool on hold and enjoy the cheese. Because they don't make pop videos or pop songs like this anymore... but they really ought to do!
Also, if you ever wondered where Survivor got the riff from Eye of the Tiger from...
Now, I have to admit I get a bit rankled by Talk Talk, so when my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, also suggested this one, I might have snapped.
You're not part of that whole "Spirit of Eden is the greatest album in the history of recorded music" conspiracy, are you? (Both Guy Garvey and Huey Morgan are among the disciples of this particular cult.)
My millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, replied:
It's a key album in the development of post-rock music. The blueprints are there but I don't think they knew what to do with it properly.
This turned into a whole argument with me railing against the very concept of "post rock" and Ben quoting Mogwai and post-metal and Math rock and me saying I'd rather listen to Twisted Sister. It got ugly. But there are worse ways to spend a Friday afternoon.
She's still thinking about this when the bus goes passed caroline lee's house where there was a party last week. There were some german exchange students there who were very mature; they all ended up jumping out of the bedroom window. One of them tried to get her to kiss him on the stairs, so she kicked him. Later she was sick because she drunk too much cider. Caroline was drunk as well; she was pretending she was married to a tall boy in glasses, and she had to wear a polo-neck for three days afterwards to cover up the love-bite on her neck.
That was a very strong contender, partly because it scratches my "short stories in songs" itch and partly because it was the first Pulp song I ever fell in love with. But I guess I had to save it for Our Top Ten Susan Songs.
My name is Caroline Cell phone number here, call if you have the time Twenty-eight and bored, grieving over loss Sorry to be heavy, but heavy is the cost Heavy is the cost
Which, if I ever get round to completing it, will be a strong contender for Number One in My Top Ten Lonely Hearts Column Songs. Although it will obviously be up again Rupert Holmes.
Also on the lyrical side of things, strong calls from Walter...
I am enthused to be able to introduce you to another strong Canadian contender here!
If your willing to stretch out a little into the Country realm (as I believe by your other selections you are on occasion) my collection yields up the somewhat shocking voice of Colter Wall, from Saskatchewan (that's prairie town, Canada style if you are not up on your Canadian geography, the heart of Canadian Country music). A little test? See if you too, like the Proclaimers, "can say "Saskatchewan" without starting to stutter..." Anyway, give a listen to his song "Caroline" from 2015, and see if you can believe that the lad had barely turned 20 at the time of recording that song.
No, he certainly doesn't sound 20. I have heard Ricky Ross playing Colter on his Radio Scotland Country show, but I hadn't heard this one. It's utterly bewitching though. Thanks, Douglas.
Can't argue with this suggestion from John Medd. How many other songs can you think of where the roses smell like poo poo?
Caroline (Caroline) Caroline All the guys would say she's mighty fine (mighty fine) But mighty fine only got you somewhere half the time And the other half either got you cussed out, or coming up short
Born in the very same year Alive at a similar time It gave me something small that I could feel That maybe as you grew, you knew how I'd feel And Caroline and I knew how you'd feel Rattled through our teenage years Battled and loved who we fought The first time you left home on your own I knew A little bit of you is gone when you do And Caroline and I well we grew, well that's true Caroline and I
You've beaten me to it C, as that was the song I would have suggested. I think I discovered it from one of the other blogs a couple of years ago and was blown away it - there isa great YouTube clipwith loads of '60s/'70s scenes in black and white which brings always brings on an overwhelming sense of nostalgia when I watch it: just matches the sound of the song so well.
Spot on C, an absolute beauty. Another Robert Wyatt tune at least partially inspired by Caroline Coon (as well as Carla Bley and Marsha Hunt) is 'To Carla, Marsha and Caroline(For Making Everything Beautifuller)' from his 1970 LP 'The End of an Ear'. Not sure if Rol will allow that though.
That may bend the Song For Whoever rule, Swede, but it is quite lovely. Matching Mole for the win though... if only there weren't such stiff competition this week.
Martin and Rigid Digit both picked this for Number One. I respect that. But sometimes there's just no competition.
Now I lie here with you, can't get her out my head
Do you think she knows that you share my bed
Well, I don't want to see Caroline
Don't want to see her face when she finds out you're mine
How could a friend be so unkind
Well, I don't want to see Caroline
1. Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline
There are those of you who may not like Sweet Caroline, and I don't often say this, because everyone is entitled to their opinion and it's all subjective and opinions are like arseholes... but you're wrong.
Among the first singles I ever bought must have been this one by Prince and Sheena Easton. The 7" vinyl is long since gone from my collection, but it popped into my head the other night and I had a distinct memory of the sleeve, of slipping out the disc and placing it onto my old music centre turntable, queueing it up to start and then hitting play & record on the tape deck to add this to a mix tape.
Of course, I'm embellishing the memory. I did all those things, but do I actually remember?
I don't remember when I first heard this song, but I know I heard it enough and liked it enough to buy it with my 15 year old's pocket money.
I don't remember buying it, but it was probably in Woolworths or WH Smiths or maybe Our Price, if that was around back then.
I can tell you that I probably played it that month more than I've listened to any one song this year... but I don't actually remember doing that.
I wish I could go back, just for an hour, and sit on my old bedroom floor, feeling safe, knowing my parents were downstairs and I had all the time in the world and I could just drop the needle and listen to the crackle before the first drumbeats kick in...
And while we wait - and pray - for a leader with the integrity of Jed Bartlett... all we can do in the meantime is enjoy the answers to this week's Saturday Snapshots.
10. Hello, green eyes & rosacea noses.
Green eyes = jealousy.
A big red drinker's nose is known as a Gin Blossom.
A great solo tune from the former Undertone... just a shame he made it his mantra once he went to the Dark Side and became a bullshit record exec interested only in persecuting harmless music fans.
I bet you think this song is about you - don't you?
1. Summer nights shampoo... like Mr. Benn.
Adam & Joe famously upset Mr. Grumpy by making fun of his name in a Wella-wella-huh! Tell me more, tell me more... stylee. The shampoo speaks for itself.
Mr. Benn was always changing into different outfits that led to adventures.
