Monday, 2 October 2023
Self-Help For Cynics #6: Conversations With Ben
Sunday, 1 October 2023
Snapshots #312: A Top Ten Songs Named After Classic Novels
10. Shot in Sarajevo.
Archduke Franz Ferdinand was shot in Sarajevo, sparking World War I.
9. You're on your own in court.
You're about to face some Lone Justice!
Lone Justice - The Grapes Of Wrath
8. Clocking off time.
It used to be 5.30. These days, people seem to finish work at all kinds of different times.
7. What time is it, Mr. McGoohan?
What time is it, Mr. Wolf? Patrick time!
Patrick Wolf - To The Lighthouse
6. Found confused in a nerd alley.
"A nerd alley" was an anagram...
5. A wee insect.
A midge is a wee insect.
4. This is a fiery Topic.
A Topic is a chocolate bar. Fiery is hot.
3. Stars of the small screen.
Television Personalities - A Picture Of Dorian Gray
2. Ask Rik when he's got himself back together.
"Ask Rik when", put back together in a different order, gives us...
We had an English teacher who insisted on pronouncing Quixote "kwik-oat". Obviously not a Nik Kershaw fan.
1. Hedge and Thicket.
Bush!
Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights
Saturday, 30 September 2023
Saturday Snapshots #312
10. Shot in Sarajevo.
9. You're on your own in court.
8. Clocking off time.
7. What time is it, Mr. McGoohan?
6. Found confused in a nerd alley.
5. A wee insect.
4. This is a fiery Topic.
3. Stars of the small screen.
2. Ask Rik when he's got himself back together.
1. Hedge and Thicket.
Answers tomorrow morning.
Friday, 29 September 2023
Product Placement #22: Jelly Babies
In case you've just arrived from another planet, iffypedia tells us that, "Jelly Babies are a type of soft sugar jelly sweets in the shape of plump babies, sold in a variety of colours." Something about the use of the phrase "plump babies" in that sentence makes me consider Jelly Babies in a far more sinister light than I ever have. If you have just arrived from another planet, please note that we do not eat human babies, no matter how plump and tasty they might look.
To make matters worse, Jelly Babies were originally called "Unclaimed Babies". I'd like to reiterate... we do not eat human babies, claimed or unclaimed.
Jelly Babies were a big favourite of Tom Baker's Doctor Who...
When Beatles fans found out that George Harrison liked the odd Jelly Baby, they started chucking them at the band. But they didn't have Jelly Babies in the USA, so when the band went over there, people chucked Jelly Beans at them instead. Which were a lot harder.
George Harrison on Jelly Beans.
Even more dangerous is the popular school science experiment, The Screaming Jelly Baby. Luckily nobody ever chucked one of those at The Beatles.
There were a couple of bands named after Jelly Babies, but I could only find music by one of them...
The Jelly Babies - The Pleasure Of Her Company
Beyond those guys, who else likes their Jelly Babies in the world of pop...?
Let's start with a classy B-side from Hot Chip...
You're choosing something sweet, you chew on something sweet
A fleshy rubber made of me
A packet does contain a beautiful refrain
Least when the two of you stand free
1982 was a great year for music. And then there was Johnny Demestos...
Johnny Demestos – Leave My Jelly Babies Alone
Did you know that Barbra Streisand once sang a song about Jelly Babies?
OK, that's not strictly the truth. However, once you've read the lyrics below, you might wish that was what the song was about...
Like Guava Jelly
Baby, here I am,
Come rub it on my belly
Like Guava Jelly
Barbra Streisand - Guava Jelly
I always thought Babs was such a sweet young thing. Like butter wouldn't melt. Then I saw the cover of the album that came from...
...which has surely got to be one of the worst album covers ever. You call your album ButterFly, and that's the image you decide to go with, Babs?
I subsequently learned that the album was solely produced by her then-boyfriend, Jon Peters... so I'm guessing clear heads might not have been involved in the cover selection process.
Guava Jelly was originally recorded by Bob Marley. And somehow, his version seems a lot less sordid...
But I've gone off on a tangent as I'm pretty sure neither Bob nor Babs were thinking about Jelly Babies when they sang that song (although the white powder the sweets are often covered in might have been of interest to Jon Peters).
Here's a whole shop full of sweets, including Jelly Babies, Rhubarb & Custard and a quarter of Sherbet Lemons...
But today's best tune comes from Ipswich punks The Adicts (originally known as Afterbirth, until wiser minds prevailed), from their 1985 album, Smart Alex. If only because it includes the lyrical couplet below...
Why do you have to be such a party-pooper?
You wouldn't even dance to Alice Cooper!
They don't write 'em like that anymore.
Thursday, 28 September 2023
Neverending Top Ten #6.4: Modern Songs
What are you doing at the party, Sam?
Karaoke.
Yeah? What are you going to sing?
Some of my favourite songs that are modern and you won't know.
Huh. You want modern songs? I'll give you modern songs, son. Look, I made you a CD!
Boomtown Rats - She's So Modern
Idlewild - A Modern Way Of Letting Go
Neil Diamond -A Modern Day Version Of Love
Ben Kyle & Romantica - How to Live in a Modern World
Terry, Blair & Anouchka - Ultra Modern Nursery Rhyme
Jesse Malin - In The Modern World
Daryl Hall & John Oates - Method of Modern Love
Charm School – Excerpts from the Modern Song
The Humdrum Express - The Curse Of The Modern Musician
Belle and Sebastian - This Is Just A Modern Rock Song
Jefferson Starship - Modern Times
Actually, wait, seriously... here's a song that was only released last week. You don't get more modern than that, do you?
Bleachers are from New Jersey. They're the brainchild of guitarist and producer Jack Antanoff, who used to be in Fun. They have featured here before, but this is their latest single, and it's pretty damned good for a modern pop song... even though it does harken back to the 70s and 80s, like most of their stuff.