Saturday Snapshots #34 - The Answers

Knowing Benny yesterday - knowing Frida today - AHA!

Sadly I couldn't find pictures of either Björn or Agnetha holding a camera, but feel free to send them my way if you have them.

Anyway, here's the answers from The Day Before You Came to see what they were... i.e. the day before today... i.e. yesterday. Sorry. I'm suffering a serious dose of Partridge this morning. I got a little worried yesterday morning because by 10am it looked like nobody had made any guesses... which led me to believe that either I'd made this week's SS way too hard... or you were all getting sick of it (or me). Then I realised that the guesses were in the comments - blogger just appears to have stopped sending comments to me. No idea why that is (probably some GDPR nonsense), but I hope they fix it soon.

Marks were spread between loads of people this week - by my calculations, Rigid Digit won with 3 1/2, narrowly beating Lynchie's 3. I'm giving Martin and C 1 1/2 marks each for their efforts on The Wannadies clue (Alyson gets a bonus "positivity" mark for deciphering the "had enough" clue as "satisfied" rather than "wannadie"). The Swede mopped up the rest with a respectable 2 1/2 - well done for getting Edward Ball!

So congratulations to RD: The Winner Takes It All!


10. When Michael met Sinatra, Jake & Elwood dealt the cards.

When Michael Jackson sees Frank Sinatra... we have Jackson C. Frank.

Jake & Elwood were the Blues Brothers.

Jackson C. Frank - Blues Run The Game

9. Dame Judi Dench shares our collective obsession.

Dame Judi was M in the James Bond movies.

Our collective obsession? Why are you doing this quiz? Because you love pop music.

M - Pop Muzik

8. The 5th (of 5) + the 3rd (of 8) = how we feel when we've had enough.

When you've had enough, you may Wannadie.

The 5th vowel is U. The third note on the scale is Mi.

Wannadies - You & Me Song

7. Genius hits the Irish Cream... and sets the turntables spinning.

Ray Charles was the Genius.

Bailey's make the Irish Cream.

Corinne Bailey-Rae - Put Your Records On

6. Pop's very dull boss begs for an extension.

Iggy Pop sang about The Chairman of the Bored.

Chairman of the Board - Give Me Just A Little More Time

5. Rambler in the Antarctic. O!

Captain Scott of the Antarctic.

Ramblers walk.

Jackie O!

Scott Walker - Jackie

4. A potato king throws a party in Barnet. We loathe ourselves for attending.

King Edwards are potatoes.

A party is a ball.

Barnet includes Mill Hill.

(Fool blows his chance for a date with Anna Friel in the video.)

Edward Ball - The Mill Hill Self-Hate Club

3. Barbie's perfect man joins Johnny on the late show to celebrate juggernauts.

Barbie's perfect man was the Ken doll.

Johnny Carson did the Late Show.

Kendel Carson - I Like Trucks (Big Trucks)

2. So angry, he kills giants and presidents with a perfect simile.

David killed Goliath.

Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK.

They were both full of wrath.

David Lee Roth - Just Like Paradise

Yes his version of California Girls was duff, but I always liked this one - bought it on 7" too!

1. Brian's on the fence about wild horses in a Field.

Brian Wilson on a Pickett Fence...

Wild horses can be Mustangs.

Sally Field.

Easy when you know how, eh?

(Yeah, he does look like Eddie Murphy there.)



More in June.

Saturday Snapshots #34

Does Your Mother Know you're looking at Saturday Snapshots again?

That's The Name Of The Game - identify ten artists and songs from the clues below.

Do I think you'll get them all right again?

I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do...


10. When Michael met Sinatra, Jake & Elwood dealt the cards.

9. Dame Judi Dench shares our collective obsession.

8. The 5th (of 5) + the 3rd (of 8) = how we feel when we've had enough.

7. Genius hits the Irish Cream... and sets the turntables spinning.

6. Pop's very dull boss begs for an extension.

5. Rambler in the Antarctic. O!

4. A potato king throws a party in Barnet. We loathe ourselves for attending.

3. Barbie's perfect man joins Johnny on the late show to celebrate juggernauts.

2. So angry, he kills giants and presidents with a perfect simile.

1. Brian's on the fence about wild horses in a Field.

Answers tomorrow. Go on - Take A Chance On Me!

2018 Contenders: Better Than Ezra?

My attention always picks up whenever reviewers start comparing a new release with Bruce Springsteen, particularly Born To Run era Boss. To be honest, over the years, I've bought any number of odd records - from Lady Gaga to Lana Del Rey - based on such comparisons, and often found myself scratching my head... though after some immersion, I can usually see what they mean. It's not about sounding like Bruce in most cases, it's about tackling similar themes or creating a similar atmosphere or using a similar storytelling style. I'm sure Dylan fans go through the same process on a regular basis... I wonder how many of them ended up disappointed when they bought Greetings From Asbury Park, N.J. on the back of such comparisons?

Anyway, the lead single from the new Ezra Furman album, Suck The Blood From My Wound, garnered many a "sounds a bit like BTR" nod, so I had to investigate further. The themes are definitely present, with lines such as these easily recalling Bruce and Wendy's fervent desire to break out of New Jersey...

And I'm doing ninety, got to get there and hold him
If we can make it across the state line then baby, we're golden
Let the law pronounce its' petty assertions
They've been outsmarted by a couple of urchins

Park for the night north west of Baton Rouge
Across the parking lot you're stretching the one wing you can move
I let you walk as long as fear will allow
I never loved you more than I love you now

And then we're back on the road before the sun's even up
We're making time, we're making progress
But progress towards what?
Your fallen feathers fill up two shopping bags
The future's breathing down the neck of the past
And the sun throws a shit-eating shine on the moon
And I'm not about to wait for them to come
Suck the blood from my wound

Although the single carries the most obvious Bruce connotations, there are moments on the rest of the album that also lead me to believe Ezra's been channeling the Boss. There's a desperation to his voice that you hear on a lot of Springsteen records, and just like Bruce... well, he's not the best singer. You hear him reaching for notes he probably shouldn't attempt on a number of occasions, and getting by on sheer determination. I've reached the conclusion that I prefer singers who aren't that great at singing, yet succeed despite that. Bruce readily admits this, and nobody would allow Billy Bragg or Elvis Costello or Frank Turner into their church choir, but their voices connect with me in a way many note-perfect performers just don't. I mean, I love James Dean Bradfield, but he makes it look so damned easy. He never breaks a sweat. I think ultimately I prefer artists who have to work for it - and Ezra is definitely pushing himself to the limit on this disc.

Even if you're not a Springsteen aficionado though, there's still plenty to enjoy on Transangelic Exodus. For me, the other major touchstone on this record is Rufus Wainwright. Furman is excellent at bringing the perspective of a young gay man to classic rock song storylines: something we don't often hear. Love You So Bad tackles a typical teenage romance song from this perspective, whereas closing track I Lost My Innocence, lyrically at least, really could be Rufus doing Born To Run...

I looked a real long time
To find the border
Of a kingdom of love, outside the
Reigning order
And I found my angel on a motorcycle
I'm a queer for life
Outlaw, outsider and uh

Most telling of all is the song Compulsive Liar, on which Furman puts his untrustworthiness and gift for fanciful storytelling down to the fact that many young LGBT people teach themselves to lie to the world from a very young age...

And I can trace the habit
To when I was eleven
And I thought boys were pretty
And I couldn't tell no one

And if all that isn't enough to pique your interest in Transangelic Exodus, then may I at least offer that this record must surely contain some of the year's best rhymes? Where else will you find Pasadena rhymed with deus ex machina or Vincent rhymed with innocence, instance, incident, Thin Mints and a pack of Winstons?

My Top Ten Car Theft Songs



Car theft is no laughing matter, as anyone who's ever had their car stolen will tell you. Doesn't stop people writing songs about it though...

Here's ten of the best.


10. Babybird - Too Handsome To Be Homeless

We are not cool
We are not crazy
We steal cars
Because we're lazy

Well, that's one explanation.

9. Alice Cooper - Steal That Car

Vincent, on the other hand, just has no shame.

It just ain't fair I was put in that position
Somebody left their keys in the ignition
I saw the unlocked door and made my decision
I just can't help myself

8. Teenage Fanclub - Don't Look Back

Could there possibly be a sweeter lyric about car theft than this?

 

I'd steal a car to drive you home

7. Kirsty MacColl - Bad

I want a brief encounter in a stolen car

A hand on my buttock in a Spanish bar

We need more pop songs that feature the word "buttock". I'm tempted to compile a Top Ten.

6. Big Star - In The Street

Steal your car, and bring it down

Pick me up, we'll drive around

Wish we had

A joint so bad

They don't write 'em like that anymore.

Don't drive stoned, kids.

5. Elvis Presley - In The Ghetto

He buys a gun

Steals a car

Tries to run

But he don't get far...

...and the hearts of a million Elvis fans crack open.

Or, if you prefer, try Blue Suede Shoes...

Well, you can burn my house

Steal my car

Drink my liquor

From an old fruit jar

Well do anything that you want to do

But uh-uh, honey lay off of my shoes!

4. Beth Orton - Stolen Car

Forgotten how good this was. For a while there, Beth was the natural heir to Joni's crown.

One drink too many and a joke gone too far

I see a face drive like a stolen car

Gets harder to hide when you're hitching a ride

Harder to hide what you really saw

3. Bruce Springsteen - Stolen Car

Regular readers might have exected this to be Number One. So did I. Then I remembered the two songs below. Still, this is bloody marvellous. Question though, Bruce fans... do you prefer the album version above... or the piano-heavy re-interpretation / original from Tracks? I'm torn. I reckon that version actually sounds more like Bruce, whereas the version included on The River is Bruce doing Dylan.

And I'm driving a stolen car

Down on Eldridge Avenue

Each night I wait to get caught

But I never do...

Got to recommend the Patty Griffin version too.

2. Pulp - Joyriders

For the second time this week, Jarvis almost makes it to Number One... story of his life, I guess, considering Common People may well be the best Number Two ever. This song  is perfection: makes you wonder what could be better, doesn't it?

We can't help it, we're so thick we can't think,

Can't think of anything but shit, sleep and drink.

Oh, and we like women;

"Up the women" we say,

And if we get lucky,

We might even meet some one day.

Mister, we just want your car,

'Cause we're taking a girl to the reservoir.

Oh, all the papers say,

It's a tragedy, but don't you want to come and see?

(Oh, and I'm very sorry, but I just couldn't find room for Roxette's Joyride. I know you were expecting it!)

1. Billy Bragg & Johnny Marr - Greetings To The New Brunette

Shirley stole today's top prize - Billy and Johnny were so good together, it makes you wonder if they'd have lasted longer and been even more cherished than Johnny and that other bloke. If only they'd made more music together...

The people from your church agree

It's not much of a career

Trying the handles of parked cars

Whoops - there goes another year!

Whoops - there goes another pint of beer!

Here we are in our summer years

Living on ice cream and chocolates kisses

Would the leaves fall from the trees

If I was your old man

And you was my missus?

What's in the tape deck of your stolen car?

Radio Songs #36: Talk Radio

Pictured above is the actor Eric Bogosian who wrote and starred in the Oliver Stone movie Talk Radio. It was partly inspired by the life and death of DJ / talk show host Alan Berg who was killed in the early 80s because white supremacists didn't like his show.

I worked with two main presenters (and a variety of fill-in dudes) during the ten plus years I "produced" the late night radio phone-in. Both had very different styles, but each soon realised that in order to get people to call in night after night, you had to occasionally play devil's advocate and court a bit of controversy. And as a result, for every listener who loves your show, you'll find one who hates it. But sometimes the ones who hate it - if they can be persuaded to call up - can make the most interesting radio. Listening to people agreeing with each other on a variety of subjects night after night soon becomes boring. The best thing of all though is if you can get someone else to do the controversy for you. Let someone with truly outrageous views (listeners will always be more outrageous than any presenter is allowed to be) vent for a while... then watch the switchboard light up and you've got a call log that'll last you till the end of the show.

However, there are certain subjects which are talk show poison. Everyone has an opinion on them and loads of people will call in... but everybody says the same thing and from a listener's perspective it becomes very dull very quickly. (Good radio hosts quickly understand the balancing act between what active callers want to talk about and what passive listeners want to hear.)

Chief poison is dog poo.

Dog poo on the pavements. Dog poo in the park. Dog poo on the bottom of your shoes.

If ever you hear a local radio phone-in where they've resorted to talking about this, I can guarantee you two things:

1. The presenter really doesn't want to be talking about it: they know how boring it is.

2. Nothing else they've tried that night has caught on, so dog poo is desperation.

As a "producer" (I put the term in rabbit ears because I never thought of myself as such and was rarely ever called it: "phone-op" was far more common), your job is simple: keep the calls lined up. One on air, one on hold, a third in reserve just in case either of the first two disappear or say something that gets them cut off. On quiet nights though, you just pray for a call. Any call. You daren't leave the switchboard to grab a coffee or take a toilet break. Not until you have a couple in reserve. And when the switchboard flashes green, you jump on it...

"Hello - the $*£&% phone-in. What would you like to talk about?"

"Dog poo on the streets."

The presenter (who at this point has been talking for ten minutes without a break, desperately trying every trick in their arsenal to drum up calls) then gives you a look of relief tinged with gratitude, a look that also says: "At last! Get them on air NOW!" And you have to break the news to them that... yes, you can have them if you want... but I don't think you're gonna want them.

Still, at least after that you'll have calls for the next hour or so...

(Oh, in case you're wondering, nobody assassinated either of the presenters I worked with. There was the odd psycho and occasional stalker though. We'll get to them.)

36. The Dandy Warhols - Talk Radio

I reckon I have quite a few posts about working on the phone-in (even more if I can find the notebook I kept at the time) but I might spread them out a bit to stop them getting too boring. Believe me, I'm no advocate for talk radio. Like most things I was involved in during my time in radio, I can see how - done well - it can be entertaining... but in the end, I grew to hate it. Kinda like the Dandy Warhols obviously do. Watch this video if you want to see how it affects the minds of impressionable listeners...

Hot 100 Countdown #83

Great 83 songs were thin on the ground, and about the only one I could find in my own record collection was this...

John Mayer - 83

I did quite like that back in 2001 - enough to swipe it from the chuck-out box, anyway - but listening back it all seems very polished and I don't particularly take to Mayer's voice anymore. Plus, Mayer appears to be a bit of a dick, having given some supremely dodgy interviews in his day. And obviously, I will not stand behind any artist who says stupid, inflammatory things in interviews.

The Swede dropped by to offer Magdalena 83 by Alan Vega - which I'm sure is pretty good since I do like a bit of Suicide every now and then... but as I couldn't find it anywhere on t'internet, and it doesn't (yet) feature in my record collection, I had to give it a pass.

Martin suggested Wafia - 83 Days, which to be fair he caveated with "don't like very much" (alongside John Mayer... which made me question the darker crevices of Martin's record collection as much as I sometimes do my own) but then he redeemed himself slightly by offering Major Tom (Coming Home) by German Bowie obsessive Peter Schilling. That doesn't actually mention 83 at all in title or lyrics, but Martin offered the following defence: "(a) it was used as the theme for the excellent Deutschland 83 and (b) is actually quite good", which would generally be enough for me... although I haven't seen the show myself.

The only other song I'm aware of with 83 in the title comes from the soundtrack of Flashdance... but it's hardly What A Feeling!

Irene Cara - Romance '83

All of which led me to search for lyrical references to the number 83, most of which revolved around the year... but rules are meant to be broken in times of desperation. So, here's My Top Ten 83 Songs... leading up to this week's winner:

10. Over The Rhine - Ohio

It was summertime in '83
We were burnin' out at the rubber tree
Wonderin' what in the world
Would make all this worthwhile
And if I knew then I was older then
Would I see regret to the last mile?

9. Ace Frehley & Frehley´s Comet - Rock Soldiers

They don't make 'em this Ace anymore.

It was back in the summer of '83
There's a reason I remember it well
I was slipping and sliding, drinkin' and drivin'
Bringin' me closer to Hell

And the Devil sat in the passenger's side
Of Delorean's automobile
He said, "Hey Frehley, Frehley let's not be silly
There's a life out there to steal!"

8. Hefner - Lee Remick

(Not the Go-Betweens song... in case you were wondering.)

I think it was in '83 my father left the family
But came back three weeks later

For a love both firm and stable

7. Marah - The Catfisherman

I got a couple of rods; they got tape where they broke
I got a bobber, some sinkers and two packs of smokes
I got the sun goin' down and the moon comin' out
And it's 83 degrees and I'm pissin' in the river

6. REM & Patti Smith - E-Bow The Letter

Will you live to 83?
Will you ever welcome me?
Will you show me something that nobody else has seen?

5. Guy Clark - A Nickel For The Fiddler

Well, it's a fiddler from Kentucky
Who swears he's 83
And he's fiddled every contest
From here to Cripple Creek
And it's old ones and it's young ones
And it's plain they half agreed
That it's country music in the park
As far as they can see

4. Dexys Midnight Runners - I Love You (Listen To This)

You were standing next to me,
In '82 and '83,
In all that time I barely proved I love you
Well there's nothing wrong but the wrong in me
You were everything you were meant to be

3. Drive-By Truckers - A World Of Hurt

And my good friend Paul was 83
When he told me that, "To love is to feel pain"
I thought about that a lot back then
I think about that again and again

2. Pulp - Last Days Of The Miner's Strike

Well my body sank below the ground
It became as black as night,
Overhead the sounds of horses hooves,
People fighting for their lives.
Some joker in a headband was still
Getting chicks for free.
And Big Brother was still watching you
Back in the days of '83.

1. Amy Rigby - The Summer of My Wasted Youth

Summertime in '83
I didn't need a j-o-b
Cause unemployment kept me free
To study country harmony
And find somebody with a car
Drink cheap beer in the Polish bar
Take photos in the photo booth
The summer of my wasted youth

So, lyrics will be allowed for 82... as will years. Unless you have an amazing title suggestion. These are the toughest numbers. They will get easier.

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #26: I'm The Same Age That My Father Was...

...When I First Thought He Was Old.

I owe this particular Mid-Life Crisis tune to Rigid Digit, who recently recommended the album it hails from (along with 9 far more familiar offerings) as one if his Top Ten Albums, calling it "a bible for the Grumpy Middle Aged Man". Well, obviously I had to investigate immediately... and I'm glad I did. Suffice it to sat I'll definitely be returning later to nominate the former Christians frontman for a Grumpy Old Man post of his own, but in the meantime this particular tunes hits the old Mid-Life Crisis right where it hurts.

As mentioned here quite recently, I was 42 when I became a father... the same age my dad was when I was born. I'm not sure when I realised that my parents were older than most of my friends' mums and dads, but it did hit me when I was quite young and I remember sobbing at the thought of losing them because "they are so old". I consider myself blessed to have reached the age I am now and still have both of them around to enjoy their final grandchild. But the clock is ticking... for all of us.

Make the most of what time you have...

26. Henry Priestman - Old

I don't want to work my fingers to the bone

Me, I'd rather drink wine with you back at home

I don't want to think about what car the neighbours bought

I'm happy just to sit here laughin' on the porch

And I don't really care what they got over there

I tried to run a mile today, I maybe should have walked

My head had the ambition but my body was all talk

And while I'm trying to make some sense of it, the laughter takes a hold

I'm the same age that my father was when I first thought he was old