Wednesday, 28 October 2026

Apochrypha #1: Tainted Love

A new, occasional, series featuring stories that may or may not be 100% true, but they add to the mythology of rock 'n' roll regardless.

Most people presume that Soft Cell's chart-conquering 80s version of Tainted Love was a cover of the 1965 Gloria Jones original, which was only ever a b-side, written by this guy...


...Ed Cobb, former member of 50s Hollywood band The Four Preps, who sounded like this...

The Four Preps - 26 Miles 

Of course, the Gloria Jones version was rediscovered in the 70s by Northern Soul DJs in the UK, which I'm pretty sure we all believed was where Marc Almond and Dave Ball first heard it. 


However, this may well not be the case. There is some evidence to suggest that the version Marc and Dave were familiar with is actually this 1975 disco cover by Ruth Swann...
  

I'm not claiming that to be apocryphal though - maybe Marc and Dave knew both versions. No, the interesting bit of this story (for me anyway) involves Ruth Swann, who was actually a session singer, and may well have been this lady...


...Diana Foster... aka Miss Dee Dee, Connie Laverne, Jackie O... et al. The thing with session singers was, they turned up, took a flat fee for singing their part, then buggered off and let the producers call them whatever they felt like. Maybe. The point being, the apocryphal story about Ruth Swann is that after she'd got the bus home, the producers couldn't remember her name... but could remember that she said she lived about the Swan pub... so they chose the name Ruth Swann.

Could be bullshit, but I like the story, so here it is, repeated for posterity on the web of lies.

Further to this, discogs is trying its best to convince me that Diana Foster was actually Jill Saward, who went on to become the female vocalist in Shakatak. But I can't find any evidence for that, either on Jill's own website, or her iffypedia entry. So it could well be nonsense.

Tuesday, 27 October 2026

Namesakes #212: The Zombies

 As we get closer to Halloween, the dead are starting to walk...

 

THE ZOMBIES #1

The Dawn of the Dead happened in St Albans. Comprising a minor league Who’s Who of 60s/70s British songwriting royalty – Colin Blunstone, Chris White, Rod Argent. “Perhaps too unique to find mass mainstream success,” says a critic on AllMusic. But they did pretty well for themselves despite that…

Blunstone & Argent both claim they had no idea what a Zombie was when they chose the name in 1962 (before that, they’d been The Mustangs.) They packed in being Zombies at the end of the 60s, but were re-animated once in the late 80s (not quite 28 Years Later) and again at the beginning of the noughties.

The Zombies - Time Of The Season


THE ZOMBIES #2

Next up, a horde of South African Zombies from 1964…

The Zombies with Glenys Lynne - Let The Water Run Down


LOS ZOMBIES #3

Meanwhile, one year later down Mexico way... the Zombies were radioactive!

Los Zombies - Radioactividad


LOS ZOMBIES #4

An outbreak of Honduras Zombies from the glorious year of 1972, heard here in support of one Wilson Reynoott.

Los Zombies - Flores Para Ti


LOS ZOMBIES #5

Mexican Zombies from 1978… walking dead on into Burton, by the look of it. I’d like to meet their tailor.

Los Zombies - A Ti Te Quiero


THE ZOMBIES #6

More South African Zombies, attacking in 1979. Sounds like the sort of thing that would have Paul Simon taking notes.

The Zombies - Egoli 


THE ZOMBIES #7

Funky Italian Zombies, also from 1979… though it appears they might have been quickly shot in the head.

The Zombies - Zombi

 

LOS ZOMBIES #8

Chilean Zombies... or they may be from Peru. Late 70s, I think. If you're not singing this one by tea time, wash your ears out.

Los Zombies - Chilipum 


ZOMBIES #9

Led by Bernardo Bonezzi,  these Zombies were heard plaguing the Spanish charts between 1979 and 1982. Mixed glam rock and new wave influences, according to a dubious iffypedia translation.

 Zombies - Extraños Juegos


ZOMBIES #10

And finally (fittingly), some Japanese post-punk Zombies from 1983…

Zombies - Final Song


Which Zombies are feasting on your brain... and which ones would you shoot in the head?


Monday, 26 October 2026

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #138: Something's Gone Wrong Again


Do you ever feel like it's just one thing after another?

A light bulb goes out so you have to replace it, then the hoover needs charging, then the sound on your computer won't work so you have to reboot it, then the cat pukes up a furball on the bedroom carpet, then the wind blows your bin over, then...

Life just seems like an endless stream of things going wrong.

At least the Buzzcocks understand...

Tried to find my sock
No good, it's lost
Something's gone wrong again
Need a shave
Cut myself, need a new blade
Something's gone wrong again

Tried to fry an egg
Broke the yolk, no joke
Something's gone wrong again
Look at my watch, just to tell the time but the hand's come off mine
Something's gone wrong again

Nothing ever happens to people like us
'Cept we miss the bus, something goes wrong again





Sunday, 25 October 2026

Snapshots #471: Happy Songs


Eyyyyyy! Here are some songs for Happy Days!


15. He used to carry bags, now he's a lorry driver.

Porter Wagoner - Satisfied Mind

14. I’ll call you back – I’ve arrived at the wooden reservoir, but I won’t be here long.

I'm just in the timber lake!

Justin Timberlake – Can’t Stop The Feeling

13. Belinda drinks a lot of Cognac in Cumbria.

Brandi Carlile - Heart's Content

12. They just go on and on and on and on.

Eternal - I Am Blessed

11. Heroin’s a help in these crazy, mixed up times.

"Heroin’s a help" was an anagram.

Helen Shapiro - I'm Tickled Pink

10. Afternoon at daybreak.

PM Dawn - Set Adrift On Memory Bliss

9. A pseudonym used by Robertson, Helm, Danko et al. 


Those gentleman were in the Band. Not this band though...

Band AKA – Joy

8. Judge in the Cliff vs. Nail trial.

Jimmy Justice - When My Little Girl Is Smiling

7. Company formed by Smith & Lawrence.


Will Smith & Martin Lawrence, that is.


6. What the sun is to the earth.

Light Of The World - I'm So Happy


5. There was a young lass from North Scotland
Who decided to form a Snap-Shots band
She got C on guitar
CC on sitar
But Ernie on drums, George could not stand.



That may be my favourite clue ever. Even if she can't spell Alyson right...


4. That’s an easy role to slip into.


"Easy role" was an anagram.


3. They just churn out stories on a conveyor belt.


Fiction Factory - (Feel Like) Heaven

2. It’s Phair to go to Australia backwards.


Liz Phair + Oz backwards.


1. Berry + Edmunds + Stewart + Gable + Kent.


Three Daves + two Clarks =

Dave Clark Five - Glad All Over


Snapshots will be back next Saturday... Oh Happy Day!

Saturday, 24 October 2026

Saturday Snapshots #471


This one goes out to the ones I love...

Who are these people and how are their songs connected?


15. He used to carry bags, now he's a lorry driver.

14. I’ll call you back – I’ve arrived at the wooden reservoir, but I won’t be here long.

13. Belinda drinks a lot of Cognac in Cumbria.

12. They just go on and on and on and on.

11. Heroin’s a help in these crazy, mixed up times.

10. Afternoon at daybreak.

9. A pseudonym used by Robertson, Helm, Danko et al. 


8. Judge in the Cliff vs. Nail trial.

7. Company formed by Smith & Lawrence.


6. What the sun is to the earth.


5. There was a young lass from North Scotland
Who decided to form a Snap-Shots band
She got C on guitar
CC on sitar
But Ernie on drums, George could not stand.



4. That’s an easy role to slip into.


3. They just churn out stories on a conveyor belt.


2. It’s Phair to go to Australia backwards.


1. Berry + Edmunds + Stewart + Gable + Kent.


Answers tomorrow morning.

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