Saturday, 11 August 2012

My Top Ten Non-Olympic Sport Songs

One day, the Olympics will include all the following "sports" and more... then we'll all have the chance of a gold medal.

10. Luke Haines - Secret Yoga

At first I was a bit scared
Then I got this amazing feeling...

9. Admiral Fallow - Subbuteo

Just my luck, I found myself drawn against Feargal Sharkey's cousin Kevin. He flicked to kick and I didn't know.

8. Super Furry Animals - Frisbee

Forget Beach Volleyball - this is what the Olympics really needs!

7. The Long Blondes - Darts

I miss the Long Blondes... but the Long Blondes never miss when they're playing Darts!

6. Silver Sun - Cheerleading

Another band I miss terribly. The chunky guitar riffs and sweet harmonies in Cheerleading recall Mercury & May at their tightest. Silver Sun should have been massive.

5. Half Man Half Biscuit - Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess

See also Paintball's Coming Home.

4. Art Brut - Unprofessional Wrestling

Probably another metaphor for shagging.

3. Morrissey - Ouija Board, Ouija Board

And representing England / Ireland in the International Ouija Board Olympics... Stephen from Stretford. With a little help from Joan Sims and Kathy Burke.

2. Lana Del Rey - Video Games

In the future, the entire Olympics will be played on the Wii.

1. Camper Van Beethoven - Take The Skinheads Bowling

One day, I'll compile a Top Songs Bowling Songs, dude. This will, of course, be Number One.

Any other sport songs you'd like to see included in the Top Ten Olympics?


  1. Double Dutch - Malcom Mclaren - I'd watch that, it would make a great team Olympic sport.

  2. Rolf Harris - Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport. I'd love to see that at any sporting event let alone the Olympics.

  3. Well, lets be open about it - I am still waiting to see who wins gold for 'chemistry' after the results are in from the drugs checks at the Games. In that light, my choice is The Drugs Song by the Amateur

  4. Kelloggs - yeah, but Malcolm would win every time.

    Steve - trust you to think up a sport that combines bondage & beastiality... can you see what it is yet?

    Sag - oh, cynical one... I liked the song though.

  5. Snooker Loopy - Chas and Dave

    The Race - Yello

    Running Up That Hill - Kate Bush, she can then do the follow up Chasing the Cheese Back Down

  6. I was waiting for someone to suggest Snooker Loopy. Thanks for not letting me down. I've been saving Yello for a Race Top Ten. One day. And Running Up That Hill was one of my Top Ten Running Songs. Keep up!


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