Friday, 9 November 2012

My Top Ten Diary Songs

I never kept a diary. The closest I ever came was writing a blog. Sadly, I can find only one record about blogging. Scribbling down your life in a diary though... there's plenty to go at.

10. Bread - Diary

David Gates. Hugely unappreciated 70s songwriter. We should have more of him round these parts.

9. Pink - Dear Diary

Yes, Pink again, two Top Tens running. Have we not got over my Pink addiction yet? Really.

8.  The Ataris - In This Diary

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.


7. Eels - Jeannie's Diary

I don't have a chance at writing the book
I just wanna be a page
In Jeannie's diary
One single page
In Jeannie's diary
New Eels album coming in February - yay!

6. The Kinks - My Diary

Sorry, Ray Davies's diary is too full to squeeze you in today.

5. The Real Tuesday Weld - The Day Before You Came

Written by Abba, a hit for Blancmange, but it's the Real Tuesday Weld version I can't get enough of. No actual diary in this song - but if the writer had kept one, his memory of the day in question might be a little better.

4. Yazoo - Nobody's Diary

Only in the 80s could a pop band have looked like Alison Moyet and Vince Clarke. One more reason I'm glad I grew up in this wonderful decade.

3. The Beautiful South - My Book

One of my favourite Beautiful South singles, yet one of their least successful. Heaton's on top lyrical form here... what a pity Soul II Soul felt the need to sue him for it for his "Back to bed, back to reality" refrain.

This is my life and this is how it reads
A documentary that nobody believes
Albert Steptoe in 'Gone with the Breeze'
Mother played by Peter Beardsley, father by John Cleese

2. The Bluetones - Solomon Bites The Worm

The Bluetones adapt the diary of one Solomon Grundy, esquire, for one of their greatest songs. It's a cracker. As Kevin Bacon says, doing his best Frank Carson impression on that advert. Now there's something I never thought I'd see...

1. ELO - The Diary of Horace Wimp

I found the story of Horace Wimp heartbreaking as a younger man. I could certainly empathize with his hopeless quest to find a significant other...

Wednesday. Horace met the girl. She was small and she was very pretty. 
He thought he was in love, he was afraid - uh oh. 
Thursday. Asked her for a date, the cafe down the street, tomorrow evening. 
His head was reeling, when she said yes, OK.

Those were the best entries in my diary. Which one do you keep padlocked under your pillow so your mum won't read it?


  1. All I can think of is Morrissey's Suedehead and the diary reference... but alas that does not fit the rules of the game.

    1. Excellent catch, Earnest, I should have remembered that myself...

      You had to sneak into my room
      'Just' to read my diary
      "It was just to see, just to see"
      (All the things you knew I'd written about you...)
      Oh, so many illustrations...

  2. I was going to say that exactly.

    1. Yeah, yeah. You're such a bandwagon-jumper.

  3. Ernie. No Milk Today. The Whey We Were.
    No. Wait...

    1. I respectfully direct the honourable gentleman here...

  4. I should have known better! .. as Jim Diamond told us.
    And if milk makes you puke, how have you managed without breakfast cereal all theses years?

    Can't top your Top Ten here, Rol. Would probably have found a place for this though...

    1. I can just about stomach boiled milk on cereal - I know, it's sacrilege, but what are you going to do?

      As for Space - can't believe I've never heard that one before. Good song.

  5. Just because it's weird and my mum wouldn't understand.....The Diary by Hollywood Undead.

    1. I can think of no better reasons to suggest a record.


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