Monday, 26 November 2012

My Top Ten Bob Songs

My sister's old sheepdog, Bob, passed away last week. He was a good dog.

This is my tribute...

10. Columbo - Rockabilly Bob

A lost classic indie-dance crossover from the 90s. I think Norman Cook might have had something to do with it, but I can't find anything online to confirm that.

9. Half Man Half Biscuit - Bob Wilson, Anchorman

See also: 99% of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd

If you ever wondered how you get triangles from a cow
You need butter, milk and cheese
And an equilateral chainsaw
We can never get enough HMHB round these parts.

8. Happy Mondays - Bob's Yer Uncle

A song that's all about sex. Which is fine unless you picture it performed by Shaun Ryder.

7. Pulp - Bob Lind

Jarvis's tribute to the Elusive Butterfly of American folk.

6. Banarama - Robert De Niro's Waiting

Yes, if Girl's Aloud recorded this for the first time in 2012, I would have no interest in it at all. I am a child of the 80s, unashamedly.

5. Nick Cave - The Ballad of Robert Moore and Betty Coltrane

Top slice of Nick Cave storytelling; b-side of his Kylie duet, Where The Wild Roses Grow.

4. Mark Germino & The Sluggers - Rex Bob Lowenstein

Rex Bob is a rebel DJ who refuses to stick to the playlist... and ends up locking himself in the studio in a stand-off with The Man.

Classic story song about the soulless evil of the commercial radio industry.

3. Janis Joplin - Me and Bobby McGee

Written by Kris Kristofferson, whose original recording is just as good. 

2. Prince - Bob George

Probably the darkest record Prince ever recorded, his bleakly funny piss-take of violent and misogynist gangster rap, from the legendary Black Album. The live version on youtube doesn't really do the track justice, but this being Prince, you won't find the album version there.

1. Bruce Springsteen - Bobby Jean

Back in the 80s, at the height of his success, Bruce had a big falling out with his best friend, Steve Van Zandt (star of The Sopranos and the excellent Lilyhammer). Many believe this song was about their break-up. (They're friends again now, and Stevie's back with the E Street Band.)

Now you hung with me when all the others turned away, turned up their nose
We liked the same music, we liked the same bands, we liked the same clothes
We told each other that we were the wildest, the wildest things we'd ever seen
Now I wished you would have told me, I wished I could have talked to you
Just to say goodbye, Bobby Jean

For Bob, RIP.

Which is your bobby dazzler?


  1. That's sad Rol, and no mistake.
    He's not a 'Bob', but seek out Jim Reeves' B Side to 'Distant Drums' called 'Old Tige'. It'll have you in bits in more ways than one.

    Where on earth is Dr Robert? (Not totally sure what it's about, but he may be able to prescribe hallucinogenic pills, you know).

    'Bobby's Girl' - Susan Maughan, from no less than 50 years ago. She states she would've been 'faithful and thankful' if only Bobby would have been interested in the fairer sex.

    Cat Power is always worth a peek. Check out her 'Song to Bobby'.

    The Police may qualify?
    Or Goldfish?

    1. Dr. Robert is not one of my favourite Beatles songs. I never knew why that bloke out of the Blow Monkeys chose to name himself after it. He'd have been far better calling himself the Rev. Olution.

      When I used to work on hospital radio, somebody requested Distant Drums every single week. It was our most requested record. We never flipped it over though.

      Susan Maughan came close. But not that close. As did Cat Power.

      Surely The Police are waiting for the (old) Bill Songs?


    2. What IS a Blow Monkey? You are (or have been until recently) down with the kids.
      I'd love to know more about your time on Hospital Radio. How many records did you have? Could you play anything you wanted? Did you do it ad hoc, or have certain days/time sessions? Did the yearning war tune 'Distant Drums' reflect your ailing listener/patient demographic? Did you ever say anything wholly inappropriate?

      The Police - in the days of more affectionate nicknames .. Robert Peel's 'Bobbies'.
      Goldfish call themselves Bob. Ask its name next time you see one.

    3. If you remember Bananarama, you should remember the Blow Monkeys. Diggin' Your Scene? It Doesn't Have To Be This Way? Hardly cutting edge 21st Century grime, DVD.

      Hospital Radio was largely requests, so yes, Distant Drums was the standard fodder. Of course, you got to make up your own requests every now and then, but nothing too racy. It's 20+ years ago though, my memories are vague.

      Ah, yes.

      I asked my goldfish. He couldn't remember.

    4. Yes, course I remember the band Rol, I was just wonderin where the name 'Blow Monkeys' came from. Like some mid-80s druggy reference founded in Todmorden or summat.

    5. "...took its name from the Australian slang for someone who plays the didgeridoo..."

      According to this blog I just tripped across in my search:

  2. Poor Bob the dog.

    Bob the Builder, need I say more

  3. ...and Robert DeNiro's Waiting surely must qualify only so I can watch a Bananarama video again...

  4. NB: It's straight in at No 6. (Think you're over-excited at the prospect of 3 women in 80s soft-focus video flailing around in dungarees).

    1. Thank you, DVD. You're even doing my job for me now!

    2. did I miss that..thanks DVD

    3. Sorry matey. You were busy. (Note to self: Must try to temper my enthusiasm for the Top Ten).

  5. Susan Maughan - (I wish I was) Bobby's Girl.

  6. You all totally confuse me how do Bananarama qualify as eye candy over Rachel Stevens?! You are all a complete mystery, you can't possibly be actually listening to them!

    Back in the DHSS is one of my 'most listened to in the car' cds I own.

    Daughter gets rather annoyed with me when I call B.O.B Bob but I do like Airplane.

    1. No contest in the Rachel Stevens vs Bananarama contest...sorry

    2. It's an age thing Kelloggs Ville. It's a great shame -and a sign of the times - that men over, say 45, can be uncomfortable in admitting to ogling women who are young enough - or nearly young enough - to be their daughters.
      Conversely the 'older woman' seems to have evolved towards having very little discomfort in the younger male 'eye candy' stakes. (Many TV ads - like the Diet Coke one - reflect this). Indeed, my office is full of women of a certain age who stick up glossy pictures of young One Direction type boys sans shirts. (I haven't seen a Page 3-type picture on a wall for years).

    3. I think there's more to it than that. Though I never fancied Bananarama, I still think they're more attractive pop stars than RS, because they seem more like REAL women. (Or they did in their earlier days anyway.) Similarly, Madonna was always a lot sexier dressed in her scruff than when she tried to be out and out sexy. In fact, the sexier Madonna tried to be, the less sexy she actually became. The same applies to Kylie.

      Rachel Stevens, like many image-centric pop princesses these days, is just a little too perfect to be real. And therefore loses all appeal.

      There's also the thing that your teenage crushes are far more powerful than the media stars you fancy in your 40s. Because everything was so much more intense back then. And not necessarily in a good way.

    4. I had a thing for the brunette one in Bananarama. And, er, that's all I have to say on the matter.

    5. I agree Rol. Less shallow with age maybe?
      I was just thinking the other day, how can someone as attractive as Tess Daly be so unattractive?
      Don't expect that makes any sense.

    6. Steve - I am curiously unsurprised. But, yes.

      DVD - perhaps. But I also think the media has become far more superficial too.

  7. Song for Bob Dylan (David Bowie...which could be Bow Wow if you want!)


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