Friday, 26 April 2013

My Top Ten Tony Songs

The new Iron Man film is out - and it'll be great to see Robert Downey Jr. playing Tony Stark again. But can I find ten great songs about Tony?

Challenge... accepted!

10. The Frank & Walters - Tony Cochrane

The F&Ws go chasing a lilo, wishing they were their eponymous hero.

9. David Bowie - The Gospel According To Tony Day

The b-side to The Laughing Gnome.

Rotten old Tony Day - if you find a girl, he'll take her away.

8. Plans & Apologies - Tony Blair, Fucknut

'Nuff said?

7. The Pixies - Tony's Theme

This is a song about a superhero named Tony... whose name rhymes with pony. As does...

6. Morrissey - Tony The Pony

Just don't say I didn't warn you.

5. The North Sea Scrolls - I'm Not the Man You Think I am Karen, I'm the Actor Tony Allen

Luke Haines and Cathal Coughlan's alternate history of the British Isles throws up an unlikely hero in the shape of failed actor and Inspector Morse costume designer Tony Allen who leads a double life as "...the hidden hand behind the paintings of Sir Francis Bacon, the secret lover of Sid James, a patient of R.D. Laing, an assiduous curator of Northern Soul, and the probable catalyst for the least tedious stretches of the career of Fleetwood Mac..."
It's a Tony Allen world - but we just live in it. 
4. Billy Joel - Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)

One of Billy's best...
You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind
...if that's movin' up - then I'm movin' out.

3. Belle & Sebastian - Lord Anthony

Anthony gets bullied at school, as did I, as I'm sure, did Stuart Murdoch. Bullying is evil.
When will you realize it doesn't pay
To be smarter than teachers, smarter than most boys?
"So shut your mouth, start kicking the football."
Bang on the teeth. You are off for a week, boy.
2. Patty Griffin - Tony

More bullying... with tragic consequences this time. Patty recalls the suicide of an old highschool classmate... heartbreaking stuff: and yet, it rocks.
I hated every day of high school
It's funny, I guess you did too
1. The Shirehorses (M&M) - Tony

I love Stan, I think it's one of Eminem's best songs... but I can't hear it anymore without wanting to listen to Mark & Lard's hilarious parody.
Anyway, how the kcuf are you?
I'm alright, thanks for asking
I'm listening to the new album 
By Dave Stewart and that old Barbara Gaskin
Listen to Stan first, then listen to Tony... and if you don't laugh your boils off, I'll give you your money back. (Plus, the woman from the canteen beats Dido any day.)

Which one gets your Tony award?


  1. Can't disagree with your top choice. Would have had Pixies at 2 and Billy Joel at 3 though.

    1. I should probably have placed the Pixies higher, agreed.

  2. Very good. I can only think of songs sung by Tony (Bennet) or written by Tony (Hatch)

  3. Nancy Sinatra - Tony Rome!

  4. I don't think Tony Toni tone : feels good fits the rules but it is a good song. But I stumbled across Jessie Matthews Tony's in town. I wouldn't rush to look it up but if you do, search her singing daddy wouldn't buy me a bow wow on you tube. She is absolutely gorgeous.

    1. And it'd make my Top Ten Innuendo Songs.


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