My Top Ten Gene Songs

No, this isn't my Top Ten Songs by the band Gene... although I was tempted, because they were amazing. (And isn't it about time Martin Rossiter released another solo album? The first one was a belter.)

Instead, it's the logical (to me, anyway) conclusion of my Jean / Jeans / Gene trilogy. Most of the songs below are about blokes called Gene or Eugene... a couple of them might be a bit more genetic.

Special mentions to Gene (obviously), Genelab, Geneva, Gene Kelly, Gene Pitney, Gene Watson and... er, Genesis. Plus a number of the gentlemen mentioned below...



10. Foil - Reviver Gene

OK, so it might not be about a bloke called Gene, but it's a forgotten Britpop gem and I wanted to give it a quick play.

Can't find much out about Foil other than that they came from Edinburgh and made a good racket. What else do you need to know?

9. Sufjan Stevens - Eugene

A starkly beautiful cut from Stevens' latest record, the autobiographical Carrie & Lowell.

Emerald Park, wonders never cease
The man who taught me to swim, he couldn't quite say my first name
Like a Father he led community water on my head
And he called me “Subaru”
And now I want to be near you

8. The Monkees - Papa Gene's Blues

Unlike a lot of Monkees songs which were written by other people (including Neil Diamond and Carole King), this is an original Mike Nesmith composition. Nesmith went on to have quite an impressive solo career post-Monkees... I hesitate to say he was the Gary Barlow of his day, because, obviously, he wasn't a wet git.

7. Walter Becker - Selfish Gene

The Steely man who isn't Donald Fagen pokes playful fun at a particular selfish Gene, with typically arch Dan-esque lyrics.

6. Catatonia - My Selfish Gene

Oh, Cerys - such a voice. Heartbreak in every breath.

OK, strictly speaking, this one isn't about a bloke called Gene either... but it is glorious.

5. Teenage Fanclub - Gene Clark

The Fannies pay their dues to Gene Clark, chief songwriter of The Byrds, one of the band's biggest influences. Some fantastic guitar work on this one... ironically, with nary a Byrdsy jangle in sight.

4. Johnny Cash - Daddy, Who's Gene Autry?

To answer Johnny Cash Jr.'s question, his dad reveals that Gene Autry was the singing cowboy... an actor who made almost 100 singing cowboy films between 1934 and 1953. Although he retired in the early 60s, he enjoyed a good old retirement, living until 1998 when he died at the grand age of 91.

Fun fact: the guitar Johnny plays in the video of his gutwrenching version of Hurt was signed by Gene Autry. 

3. Ian Dury & The Blockheads - Sweet Gene Vincent

We discussed Gene Vincent in the Top Ten Jeans Songs - and here's Ian Dury mourning his decline with some Thunderbird wine: possibly the sweetest thing Ian ever recorded... for the first minute twenty... until the rock 'n' roll kicks in. Vincent died in 1971 and has been immortalised in a number of tribute records, including Gene & Eddie by the Stray Cats and Luke Haines' masterful Gene Vincent (Rock 'n' Roll Mums and Rock 'n' Roll Dads).

2. Pink Martini - Hey Eugene

I have to confess that Hey Eugene is the only song I know by Pink Martini - and although it's a cracker, I kinda thought they were one "hit wonders until I did a little digging for this post. Turns out they've released 7 albums since 1997.

Hey Eugene do you remember me?
I'm that chick you danced with two times through the Rufus album Friday night at that party on avenue A:
Where your skinhead friend passed out for several hours on the bathroom floor and you told me
You weren't that drunk, and that I was your favourite Salsa dancer you had ever come across in New York city..

I obviously need to investigate further...

1. Frank Turner - Wherefore Art Thou, Gene Simmons?

As Frank explains in his intro here, he was inspired to write this tribute to the elastic-tongued Kiss frontman after reading his biography and discovering that The Demon (real name Chaim Witz) claims to have slept with 4600 women... and taken a photo of every one. What a... Romeo.

A mother said, "Beware of boys in bands
And certainly don't let them write you songs
For they will come to you on bended knee and kiss your pretty hands
When the singing's done, and the suns up they'll be gone."
While her mother has a point, I might resent the implication.
That every boy who plays guitar plays women like Gene Simmons.

Though, as Frank confesses later in the song, he's not entirely innocent himself...





Which is your Gene Hackman?

My Top Ten Richard Songs

Ten songs about Richard... and not a dick in sight.

Special mentions to messrs. Wagner, Strauss, Hawley, Thompson, Ashcroft, Carpenter, Oakes, Reed Parry, Marx, Swift, Hell and Cheese... and, of course, Keef and Sir Cliff. Plus any other famous musical Richards you might think of.


10. The Faces - Pool Hall Richard

Hardly Ron and Ronnie's finest hour, here they lose at both pool and love due to the titular Rich. They may be the victims of their own dodgy lyrics though, not least the closing lines...

You're breakin' my heart
But you're stealin' my tart
Shut up

 There may also be more going on than just simple pool hall rivalry...

You make me jealous but I worship you
One day soon I'm gonna beat you clean
Wipe that smile right off your chin

...or that just could be my depraved mind.

9. The Lilac Time - Gone For A Burton 

Stephen Duffy pays homage to one of his celluloid heroes...

The night that Richard died
The newscasters cried...

I tried to google whether this was actually the case... google let me down.

8. First Aid Kit - Waltz For Richard

Great storytelling from the Söderberg sisters' debut album: a relationship falls apart, yet we're only given half the story...

On our last trip to the coast
We watched the boats sail the sea
'How effortlessly they float,'
You turned and said to me.

And sedately I sat there
In my quiet mist of rage
How I wanted to tell you
But I was hushed by my shame..

7. Titus Andronicus - Richard II or Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds

The New Jersey titans delve deeper into their Shakespearian roots - and also paraphrase this week's top song in one verse - in this angry dissection of why people do really bad things in times of war.

6. Frank Turner - Richard Divine

Frank's Richard can't cope with life; Frank has little sympathy for folk who give up without a fight...

He said he's not for sale, 
Said that he felt hounded, 
Crowded and surrounded by this life he didn't choose. 

But everybody plays this game on a daily basis. 
They're not heroes, 
They're survivors, 
And its not Shakespearean if they lose.

5. Sun Kil Moon - Song For Richard Collopy

A typically personal song from Mr. Kozelek, this deals with the disappearance / death of the bloke who fixed his broken guitars. It seems to be asking the question: in a case like this, do we mourn the individual or the loss of what they did for us?

See also Richard Ramirez Died Today of Natural Causes in which Kozelek considers his own mortality following the death (from cancer) of an infamous serial killer on death row.

4. Simon & Garfunkel - Richard Cory

Based on a poem by Edwin Arlington Robinson, Richard Cory is a song about envying the rich and powerful... even when they're bloody miserable.

So my mind was filled with wonder,
When the evening headlines read:
'Richard Cory went home last night
And put a bullet through his head'

And I - I work in his factory
And I curse the life I'm living
And I curse my poverty
And I wish that I could be
Oh, I wish that I could be...
Richard Cory

3. Supergrass - Richard III

One of Supergrass's loudest and most in-your-face singles, this also became one of their biggest hits: released at the height of their popularity in 1997 (yes, 18 years ago). It has nothing to do with the king buried in a car park or Shakespeare's hunchbacked villain. Apparently the 'grass had a habit of giving their songs people's names before they settled on an actually title and this was the third song they'd christened Richard. They decided to stick with Richard III because it seemed angry and bitter like the king (is often portrayed) himself.

2. Joni Mitchell - The Last Time I Saw Richard

Another artist at the height of her powers, Joni's Richard comes from her seminal album Blue. Legend has it the Richard in question is actually her ex-husband Chuck Mitchell, though I'm not sure whether Joni has ever confirmed this. Amazingly evocative lyrics on this one...

Richard got married to a figure skater
And he bought her a dishwasher and a coffee percolator
And he drinks at home now most nights with the TV on
And all the house lights left up bright...

1. Billy Bragg - Richard

There's a raw beauty to the songs on Billy's debut album, and it's no wonder that they caught John Peel's ear... although the mushroom biryani Billy bribed him with certainly helped. It was originally recorded by Billy and Wiggy's band Riff Raff.

Richard comes from the lovelorn side of Billy's songwriting spectrum (rather than the politically charged) and it's the kind of bittersweet ode to rejection only a young man could / should write... though even old men like me can remember what it felt like.

I really love your style
Did you read it on the Look and Learn?
How long can we go on?
Do you think I only love you
Because you sleep with other boys?

So which is your Richard Burton... and which is your Richard Whiteley?

My Top Ten Tony Songs

The new Iron Man film is out - and it'll be great to see Robert Downey Jr. playing Tony Stark again. But can I find ten great songs about Tony?

Challenge... accepted!


10. The Frank & Walters - Tony Cochrane

The F&Ws go chasing a lilo, wishing they were their eponymous hero.

9. David Bowie - The Gospel According To Tony Day

The b-side to The Laughing Gnome.

Rotten old Tony Day - if you find a girl, he'll take her away.

8. Plans & Apologies - Tony Blair, Fucknut

'Nuff said?

7. The Pixies - Tony's Theme

This is a song about a superhero named Tony... whose name rhymes with pony. As does...

6. Morrissey - Tony The Pony

Just don't say I didn't warn you.

5. The North Sea Scrolls - I'm Not the Man You Think I am Karen, I'm the Actor Tony Allen

Luke Haines and Cathal Coughlan's alternate history of the British Isles throws up an unlikely hero in the shape of failed actor and Inspector Morse costume designer Tony Allen who leads a double life as "...the hidden hand behind the paintings of Sir Francis Bacon, the secret lover of Sid James, a patient of R.D. Laing, an assiduous curator of Northern Soul, and the probable catalyst for the least tedious stretches of the career of Fleetwood Mac..."

It's a Tony Allen world - but we just live in it. 

4. Billy Joel - Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)

One of Billy's best...

You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind

...if that's movin' up - then I'm movin' out.

3. Belle & Sebastian - Lord Anthony

Anthony gets bullied at school, as did I, as I'm sure, did Stuart Murdoch. Bullying is evil.

When will you realize it doesn't pay
To be smarter than teachers, smarter than most boys?

"So shut your mouth, start kicking the football."
Bang on the teeth. You are off for a week, boy.

2. Patty Griffin - Tony

More bullying... with tragic consequences this time. Patty recalls the suicide of an old highschool classmate... heartbreaking stuff: and yet, it rocks.

I hated every day of high school
It's funny, I guess you did too

1. The Shirehorses (M&M) - Tony

I love Stan, I think it's one of Eminem's best songs... but I can't hear it anymore without wanting to listen to Mark & Lard's hilarious parody.

Anyway, how the kcuf are you?
I'm alright, thanks for asking
I'm listening to the new album 
By Dave Stewart and that old Barbara Gaskin

Listen to Stan first, then listen to Tony... and if you don't laugh your boils off, I'll give you your money back. (Plus, the woman from the canteen beats Dido any day.)




Which one gets your Tony award?

My Top Ten Frank Songs

Planning a Top Ten Frankenstein songs for Halloween, I was amazed to see how many great records there were about people called Frank. In fact, I could easily have filled a Top 20. The Monster will have to wait...


10. The Give It Ups - Let's Be Frank

A cool little indie pop song of the sort you didn't think they made anymore. Download it free and legal from the bandcamp link above.

(In case you're wondering, The Give It Ups narrowly beat The Monochrome Set onto this chart. It was an extremely close call.)

9. Longpigs - The Frank Sonata

It's a shame that the Longpigs are mostly remembered these days as "the band Richard Hawley played guitar in". They deserve far more recognition. Although god knows what's going on in this rather X-rated promo...

8. Cake - Frank Sinatra

You can't go wrong with a nice slice of Cake... in tribute to the greatest Frank ever?

And while we're on that subject...

7. Suzanne Vega - Frank & Ava

It's not enough to be in love.

6. Morrissey - Our Frank

In which it appears Morrissey has cut himself while shaving his eyebrows. These things happen.

Oh give us a drink
And make it quick
Or else I'm gonna be sick all over
Your frankly vulgar red pullover

See also Frankly, Mr. Shankly, of course.

5. Sister Sledge - Frankie

Few records take me back to 1985 like this one.

Do you remember me?

4. Simon & Garfunkel - So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright

Thanks to the kind person who posted this on youtube, I've just discovered the "true" (?) story behind this song. Apparently it was Paul Simon's farewell to Art Garfunkel (himself an architecture major at university).

So long, Frank Lloyd Wright
All of the night we've harmonised till dawn
I've never laughed so long

3. The Lemonheads - Frank Mills

Another Brooklyn resident, this Frank was in consideration for that Top Ten too. A cover, it turns out, of a song from the musical Hair.

He has golden chains on his leather jacket,
and on the back, are written the names Mary and Mom and Hell's Angels.
I would gratefully appreciate it if you see him,
tell him
I am in the park with my girlfriend,
and please tell him Angela and I
don't want the two dollars back, just him.

2. Bruce Springsteen - Highway Patrolman

In any other Top Ten, Bruce's tragic tale of two brothers on opposite sides of the law (one of whom is called Frank) would have been number one. See also Frankie.

1. Tom Waits - Frank's Wild Years

My favourite Tom Waits "song". If you've never heard it before, please take 1 minute 48 seconds to discover why Tom Waits is one of the best storytellers in the music industry...




Let's be Frank... what's your favourite Frank song?