"You call that a knife? These are knives..."
(Special mention to Shonen Knife and The Young Knives.)
10. Brett Anderson - Knife Edge
A devastating piano ballad that proves Brett really doesn't need guitars to inflict a deep, lasting wound.
9. Los Campesinos - We Throw Parties, You Throw Knives
If you ever considered playing Pass The Parcel with human body parts, Los Campesinos have the song for you.
It's your party but I'll die if I want to...8. Bryan Adams - Cuts Like A Knife
Deal with it.
7. Radiohead - Knives Out
I remember when Radiohead released this, they said it was their "Smiths song".
So knives outMoz would be proud. (Except, he wouldn't, of course. He hates Radiohead.)
Cook him up
Squash his head
Put him in the pot
6. PJ Harvey - Pocket Knife
They should keep her away from all sharp objects. Don't even let her run with scissors.
Flowers I can do without5. Dingus Khan - Knifey Spoon
I don't wanna be tied down
White material will stain
My pocket knife's gotta shiny blade
I'm not trying to cause a fuss
I just wanna make my own fuck-ups
I'm not trying to break your heart
I'm just trying not to fall apart...
A spiky indie track I got into because Lamacq kept playing it on 6Music. The video is mental.
I couldn't find a knife so I had to use a spoon...4. Dire Straits - Six Blade Knife
My shameless middle-aged sojourn into Dad-Rock continues. Dire Straits are another band who, like Steely Dan, I'd only listened to in Greatest Hits form until very recently. Now I can't get enough of them.
This, from their eponymous 1978 debut album is SEX + DEATH = ROCK 'N' ROLL. (Honest.)
3. Aztec Camera - Knife
Over 9 minutes in length - that's one long knife!
And the knife has got my number,2. The Long Blondes - A Knife For The Girls
And the number that you keep,
And the knife has called division,
And it's drawn when I'm asleep.
Every time I play a Long Blondes track on this blog, it is customary for me to bemoan their untimely passing. One listen to this creepy little bedsit stalker anthem will prove why...
1. Louis Armstrong - Mack The Knife
Like it could have been anything else.
Written by Kurt Weill and Bertolt Brech (the original German title is "Die Moritat von Mackie Messer"... which doesn't trip off the tongue quite as smoothly) and recorded by everybody from Frank to Bobby Darin to Sting and Robbie Williams... but Louis' version is the definitive one for me.
This one's for Sukie Tawdry...
Those were my knives... but which one is stuck in your back?