This week I will mostly be playing the 80's nostalgia card, thanks to the current tiff between Mr. Putin and Mr. Obama that inspired Dodgy Dave to put on his serious face for twitter.
10. Sting - Russians
Let's get the obvious one out of the way first, shall we?
Ah, Sting. Sting, Sting, Sting. It's not a bad song, it's just... like most of Sting's "issues" songs... it's about as subtle as all the bricks in the Berlin Wall piled up on top of each other in a Sting-shaped heap.
"Do the Russians love their children too?"
At least it's not written from the perspective of a Russian dog.
9. Prince - Ronnie, Talk To Russia
Blimey, a Prince song that's actually available on youtube. Not one of his best, but fascinating in a 80's time capsule kind of way.
8. Iron Maiden - 2 Minutes To Midnight
Far more subtle than Sting could ever be.
7. Nena - 99 Red Balloons
So Nena lets off a bunch of (luft)balloons with her boyfriend, only they get mistaken for missiles and BOOM. The world ends. You see how easy these things can get out of hand?
6. Elton John - Nikita
With hindsight, this looks even more unintentionally hilarious than Sting's Russkies, I can see that. In my defence, I firmly believe Elton has a sense of humour (unlike Gordon) - which the video surely proves.
Also, when I was 13, I thought this record was heartbreaking. (Then again, when I was 13, I thought most things were heartbreaking.)
5. The Beatles - Back In The U.S.S.R.
The best Beach Boys song the Beatles ever wrote. Brilliant.
Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out4. Billy Joel - Leningrad
They leave the West behind
And Moscow girls make me sing and shout
That Georgia's always on my my my my my my my my my mind
I keep comparing other songs on this list to #10, which is churlish. I really don't have anything against Sting. It's not like he's Bono or anything.
Anyway, here Billy shows the po-faced, bumblebee-shirted former teacher how to do it with class. A stunning piece of serious storytelling songwriting.
3. Donald Fagen - New Frontier
From the majestic Nightfly album, Fagen's 50s flashback finds a young couple planning for their future in the cosy warmth of their backyard bomb shelter.
We've got provisions and lots of beer2. The Smiths - Ask
The key word is survival on the new frontier
If it's not lovePossibly the least cynical love song Moz ever wrote.
Then it's the bomb
That'll bring us together...
1. Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Two Tribes
I told you it was 80's tribute week. You might not like this song (you'd be wrong) but you can't argue that this is one of the greatest pop videos ever filmed...
If you're still here to read this tomorrow... leave a comment amid the fallout dust, will you?