Friday, 24 August 2018

Grumpy Old Men Songs #9: What Have I Become?



(I put "supermarket clash" into google images and this is what came up.)


This latest Grumpy Old Men post was inspired by a post Martin wrote last week. I suggest you read that first to make sense of my reply...

I'm sorry to say that I've been on the other side of your experience recently, Martin... and it's not the first time. In fact, I may well be becoming the gentleman you describe in your story, which I'm not particularly proud of but...

In the supermarket then. I waited patiently for the loose carrots box while some old dears were chatting over it. When they moved on, I moved in. I only needed three. As I was getting them, a bloke roughly the same age as me reached right over me to grab a handful.

"No, no, be my guest," I said, taking a huge step back to give him room.

"Are you all right?" he replied. Seemingly shocked by my desire for personal space.

I turned and marched away, muttering indignantly just like the chap Martin described.

This isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened. I often find myself stepping out of someone's way or holding a door for them only to be completely blanked: not even a nod of thanks. In this kind of situation, I have occasionally taken to shouting a sarcastic "THANK YOU!" back at them over my shoulder as I stomp away. It's only a matter of time before I get beaten up.

Some debate ensued in Martin's comment section that made me reconsider my actions. As was pointed out by Mark, C and others, you never really know what another person is going through and when you take your anger out on them for no reason than that they haven't displayed a suitable level of courtesy on that one particular occasion, you're behaving far worse than they are. Yes, there are lots of rude and inconsiderate people in the world... but there are also some people who may be going through a bad time at that moment or may have been distracted by more altruistic purposes and otherwise would not have been so "rude". You can't base your entire decision on whether to condemn a person's character on one chance encounter.

Unless they're driving an Audi, in which case... go for it.

(That was a joke, by the way. A joke based on my inbuilt prejudice against and stereotyping of people who drive Audis, but a joke just the same. Honest.)

I also understand the outrage we all feel when our own actions are misjudged as rude or inconsiderate by others. I've been there too. It stings, for days after.

The sad truth is though that the older I get, the more I find myself becoming Larry David in these situations. Or Michael Douglas in Falling Down. Or Nigel Blackwell...

Some people don’t know how to walk on the pavement these days
Well it’s not that difficult, there’s hardly a whole host of ways
Here they come, love’s young dream, arm in arm, approaching me
Now, I’m not looking for your smile
I’m just asking for some single file
But it’s not forthcoming so I have to assume
That this narrow path belongs to you
And therefore you must be
The Duke of Westminster and his good lady wife
So, I tell you what, I’ll just walk in the road
How about I just walk in the road?
You stay as you are, and I’ll just walk in the road

I recognise it's not a very nice trait I'm describing. I recognise that I may need help. Will you guys be my support group?



I've just remembered another story, from my old blog, which relates very directly to this post. If any of you are still reading next week - now I've revealed this wholly unpleasant side of my character - I'll share that with you then.


4 comments:

  1. I often find myself wishing that Britain had similar gun controls to the USA when, for example, I've been soaked after a speeding car drove closer to the pavement than seemed necessary, throwing up a wave of water from a recently formed giant puddle. I frequently compile lists of people I'd put in death camps if I was a benevolent despot running this country. As long as these thoughts remain in my head, it's OK but - as I have learned in group therapy - sometimes it's better not to bottle things up. In life, caution should always be our watchword.

    (That said, I also think Audi drivers are the worst - "Vorsprung Durch Technik" my arse! Have I ever mentioned that I once shook Nigel's hand at a HMHB gig?)

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  2. It's hard to win, I think, whichever side of the equation you're on. I'm starting to think I'm just not, and never have been, very tolerant of other people.

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  3. Oh dear - Problem is that we all have to share the same planet/spaces and some of us have been brought up to have manners/a certain level of social etiquette but others haven't (not really their fault - just not from families where those kind of things were ingrained). Also I feel that the world is split between soft people and hard people - The soft people (and I would class myself as one) always defer, hold open the doors and queue politely. The hard people put themselves first and always seems to get to the top of the queues, get the best carrots in the box and never hold open door. Thing is they don't suffer the anguish I would suffer at having been "rude" but hey ho, it's not a fair world is it.


    Think you've got to curb the sarcasm though Rol! My other half comes out with the same kind of thing in supermarkets etc and I have to swiftly move him on in case there is a scene.

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