Snapshots #367: A Top Twenty Songs Named After Horror Movies

Darkness falls across the land

The midnight hour is close at hand

Creatures crawl in search of blood

To terrorize y’all’s neighborhood

And whosoever shall be found

Without the soul for getting down

Must stand and face the Hounds of Hell

And rot inside a corpse’s shell

The foulest stench is in the air

The funk of forty thousand years

And grizzly ghouls from every tomb

Are closing in to seal your doom

And though you fight to stay alive

Your body starts to shiver

For no mere mortal can resist

The evil of the SNAPSHOTS!

AH HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA

Thank you, Vincent. This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

It's Halloween this week, and when I started looking for songs that share their names with horror movies, I hit a bumper bundle. But did you guess them all?

20. Bad jingles get me in such a tizzy. 

"Bad jingles" was an anagram...

J. Geils Band - Fright Night

19. Lost inside Outwood Golf Course.

In case you're wondering, Outwood is just down the road from where I work in Leeds. Fortunately, I've never spotted u-two while driving through there...

U2 - The Fly

18. Ttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssss iiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssss ttttttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeee ccccccccccccccllllllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeee.

Slow Readers Club - Lost Boys

17. The Haiti dollar hides a silly secret. 

The Haiti dollar, Silly Billy.

Billy Idol - Eyes Without A Face

16. Boopadoop.

Named after Chic Young's Blondie comic strip: her surname was Boopadoop.

Blondie - Island Of Lost Souls

15. Noughties boy band, aphrodisiac, Ian Astbury.

Noughties boy band = Blue.

Aphrodisiac = Oyster.

Ian Astbury = The Cult.

Blue Öyster Cult - Nosferatu

14. Frippette?

She's married to Robert Fripp...

Toyah - Alien

13. They're ghosting you.

The Phantom Band - The Howling

12. Can you hear them?

The Sonics - Psycho

11. ...is a V. smarmy DJ mix.

..."is a V. smarmy DJ" was an anagram...

Sammy Davis Jr. - The Candyman

10. A wing and a guitar.

A Fender is what we Brits would call the wing on a car... and it's also a type of guitar.

Sam Fender - Poltergeist(s)

9. Just desserts.

The Sweet - Hellraiser

8. Read one section of your home. 

Chapterhouse - Don't Look Now

7. This guy, and another four droplets.

A tough one this, and probably not one you could guess from the clue alone... but once you worked out the theme... maybe?

Anyway, the photo above is Bernie Nee, the singer on the track below. The rest of the Blobs were session musicians, so no photo exists of the "band" itself...

The Five Blobs - The Blob

6. Bitten by a green bird that wishes it could fly.

Orville might have wished he could fly, but he could at least peck.

Orville Peck - Dead Of Night

5. Used to make soup for Alice and the Queen.

Then the Queen said to Alice, "Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?"

"No," said Alice. "I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is."

"It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from", said the Queen.

(From Alice In Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll.)

The Mock Turtles - Wicker Man

4. A carpenter and a great hangman. 

The Great Hangman is a cliff. Richard was a Carpenter.

Cliff Richard - Carrie

3. Chest, pea, dough.

Chestnut, peanut, doughnut...

Nut - Scream

2. What do Jennifer Anniston, Julie Andrews and Jane Austen cook their eggs in?

In the J.A.pan, of course!

Japan - Halloween

1. Lad-ra-doodle.

It's not often you see Damon Gough without his hat on...

Badly Drawn Boy - The Shining

Not Number One because it's my favourite song... but it is my favourite horror film.

Such a bounty of horror-film-related songs did I find, that there will be more to share later in the week... and a much less scary Snapshots will be back next Saturday. 

Self-Help For Cynics #1: Change His Ways

I've made no bones about the fact that I've been feeling pretty down this year. Pretty dark. I've tried to avoid writing too much about it here, but inevitably it's seeped in. A few things have happened over the past month or so that have made me realise I need to sort myself out, before I end up in a very bad place. And so I'm trying very hard to change my ways...

Back when I wrote radio adverts for a living, I had a client who described their business as "One of the pleasures of Batley". I kept trying to get them to change their strapline, but they were having none of it. I always wondered what the other pleasures of Batley might be. Presumably Robert Palmer would be near the top of the list.

Life would be so much more exciting
If we could live it day to day
We could at least adjust the lighting
To illuminate the way

Wise words from Batley Bob there. (The song also includes one of my favourite Robert Palmer lines, "She had a dimple in her favour".) Words which lead us nicely into this new feature. 

The problem with Self Help advice is that so much of it is tailored to hippies and Pollyannas, words that some might apply to Joni Mitchell... though I'd disagree. After all, she's looked at clouds from both sides now, and this was her conclusion...

Now they only block the sun
They rain and they snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now

In this series then, I'm going to look at Self Help advice through jaded eyes, try to scrape away the rainbows and unicorns, and find the truths contained therein. Truths I hope can help me change my ways. I don't want to be the grumpy old man shouting at people in the supermarket anymore. I don't need a gun, I need a guru... and who better than the philosophers of modern song to guide me through my quest?

Billy Idol - I Don't Need A Gun

Roger Miller wrote a ton of songs, including King Of The Road and England Swings. This was apparently his favourite, and it contains a line that perfectly sums up where I'm going with this...

You can be happy if you've a mind to...

My Top 22 of 2022: Prelude

I’m in two minds…

About what?

This new Bruce Springsteen album. The Boss covering a bunch of old soul songs. It’s all a bit…

Rod Stewart?

I mean, don’t get me wrong, his voice sounds amazing. It’s some of the best singing he’s ever done. On 7 Rooms of Gloom, he even gives Levi Stubbs a run for his money…

Bruce Springsteen - Seven Rooms Of Gloom

The Four Tops - Seven Rooms Of Gloom

But?

But it’s not Levi Stubbs, is it? Many of these songs… the originals are so strong, so well-entrenched in my mind, in my heart, no cover’s ever going to come close. Not even Bruce.

Is it just that… he’s getting on a bit now… he’s reached the karaoke stage of his career? Dylan’s done covers albums. Willie Nelson… ahem… Rod Stewart… don’t they deserve to sit back and put their feet up rather than still be re-inventing the wheel?

You might argue that… if Dylan hadn’t just produced one of his best albums in years off the back of his karaoke sets. Bruce too… Western Stars showed he can still cut it. It was his best album of the 21st Century, easily up there with his best, without trying to recapture old glories. (I enjoyed Letter To You a lot too, but much of that was a reworking of old E Street numbers from back in the day that never got recorded, so it didn’t really speak to where he is now, creatively.)

Bruce Springsteen - Western Stars

Your problem then is the songs he’d chosen to cover? They’re too iconic to mess with?

Well, to be fair, he’s not messing with them. The arrangements are very faithful to the originals (if a bit Saturday Night At The London Palladium in places)… but then you start to wonder why you’re not just listening to the originals. I mean, at least Billy Idol made William Bell’s I Forgot To Be Your Lover his own. 

William Bell - I Forgot To Be Your Lover

Billy Idol - To Be A Lover

Bruce Springsteen - I Forgot To Be Your Lover

What about the less well-known tracks?

They work better. The two Jerry Butler songs, the title track and Hey, Western Union Man, are definite highlights. But then I went straight out and added The Very Best of Jerry Butler to my wishlist. 

Bruce Springsteen - Only The Strong Survive

Jerry Butler - Hey, Western Union Man

Bruce Springsteen - Hey, Western Union Man

Who’s this record for then?

Good question. I can tell you who it’s not for: Soul music fans. Even if you love Bruce as much as you love Motown, Atlantic et al. Maybe this is a record for Bruce fans who don’t know a lot about soul music. If it turns them onto that genre, I’m sure they’ll be eternally grateful… and this might well be Bruce's aim. His love for these old records is infectious, his voice sounds great, and he’s clearly having a great time. Despite the preponderance of lost love songs (What Becomes of the Brokenhearted, The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore, When She Was My Girl), the performances are almost jubilant. But they’re not Jimmy Ruffin, The Walker Brothers or The Four Tops. And Someday We’ll Be Together as a closer? Ouch. Diana Ross is untouchable on that.

So I'm guessing this won't quite make your Top 22 Albums of 2022 then?

Sadly, no. I enjoyed it for what it was, but I don't think I'll still be listening to it in the new year...

Snapshots #259: A Top Ten Songs With Two Parts

Time to make a big Splash with this weeks answers! 

Here are ten songs that come in (at least) two parts...

10. Rated worst.

Anagram!

Rod Stewart - The Killing Of Georgie (Part I & II)

9. This pair are a mystery to me.

Enigma - Sadeness Part 1

Enigma - Sadeness Part 2

30+ years, and I only just realised there's an extra 'e' in the middle of that. 

Doesn't make it any less rubbish.

8. Arthur Daley settles down and puts his feet up.

George Cole was Arthur Daley... getting cosy.

Cozy Cole - Topsy Part 1

Cozy Cole - Topsy Part 2

7. Everybody... tonight.

"Everybody WANG CHUNG tonight!"

Wang Chung - Dance Hall Days (Part 1)

Wang Chung - Dance Hall Days (Part 2)

6. Presumably none of them are called Billy.

They're girls, so none of them can be a billy goat.

Goat Girl - I Don't Care (Part 1)

Goat Girl - I Don't Care (Part 2)

5. Best & Ball.

George Best and Michael (not Bobby) Ball.

George Michael - I Want Your Sex (Parts 1 & 2)

4. What someone who loves the nightlife uses to get into their home.

Alicia Bridges loved the nightlife. She would use her keys to get in her home.

Alicia Keys - Empire State Of Mind (Part 1)

Alicia Keys - Empire State Of Mind (Part 2)

3. Panther meets wood-knocker.

The Pink Panther meets Eddie Floyd, who liked knocking on wood.

Pink Floyd - Another Brick In The Wall (Part 1)

Pink Floyd - Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2)

2. Deserving of worship.

He's an idol!

Billy Idol - White Wedding (Parts 1 & 2)

1. Tim Booth gets some Sugar.

Tim Booth is sick of me using him as a clue for people called James. Sugar Ray is less bothered.

"I never knew that George Harrison song was a cover version," Louise said to me the other day. I had to admit, it took me years to discover the original too. But when I did... hoo boy!

Roxanne... you don't have to put on the red light. I've given the green light to another part of the Snapshots saga next Saturday.