Today is the birthday of Theodor Seuss Geisel, born in
Springfield, Massachusetts in 1904, the creator of The Grinch, The Cat In The
Hat, The Lorax and many other popular children’s books and characters. He’s
also the man who gave Marti Pellow a band name… but don’t hold that against
him.
“They are tame. Oh, so tame! They have come here to play.
They will give you some fun. On this wet, wet, wet day.” (from The Cat In The
Hat)
And if that's not lovin' me Then all I've got to say God didn't make little green apples And it don't rain in Indianapolis in the summertime And there's no such thing as Doctor Seuss Or Disneyland, and Mother Goose is no nursery rhyme
Baby, instant soup doesn't really grab me Today I need something more sub-stub-sub-substantial A can of beans or black-eyed peas, some Nescafé and ice A candy bar, a falling star, or a reading from Doctor Seuss The Cat in the Hat came back Wreaked a lot of havoc on the way Always had a smile and a reason to pretend But their world has flat backgrounds And little need to sleep but to dream The sidewinder sleeps on his back
Various songs you might need to consult a doctor about... although they'll probably tell you to stop wasting their time... if you can even get past the receptionist.
15. Flatulent Camberwick Green resident and apocryphal cabin boy.
The flatulent Camberwick Green resident would be Windy Miller. It's an urban legend though that Captain Pugwash had Roger The Cabin Boy in his crew.
I've made no bones about the fact that I've been feeling pretty down this year. Pretty dark. I've tried to avoid writing too much about it here, but inevitably it's seeped in. A few things have happened over the past month or so that have made me realise I need to sort myself out, before I end up in a very bad place. And so I'm trying very hard to change my ways...
Back when I wrote radio adverts for a living, I had a client who described their business as "One of the pleasures of Batley". I kept trying to get them to change their strapline, but they were having none of it. I always wondered what the other pleasures of Batley might be. Presumably Robert Palmer would be near the top of the list.
Life would be so much more exciting If we could live it day to day We could at least adjust the lighting To illuminate the way
Wise words from Batley Bob there. (The song also includes one of my favourite Robert Palmer lines, "She had a dimple in her favour".) Words which lead us nicely into this new feature.
The problem with Self Help advice is that so much of it is tailored to hippies and Pollyannas, words that some might apply to Joni Mitchell... though I'd disagree. After all, she's looked at clouds from both sides now, and this was her conclusion...
Now they only block the sun They rain and they snow on everyone So many things I would have done But clouds got in my way
In this series then, I'm going to look at Self Help advice through jaded eyes, try to scrape away the rainbows and unicorns, and find the truths contained therein. Truths I hope can help me change my ways. I don't want to be the grumpy old man shouting at people in the supermarket anymore. I don't need a gun, I need a guru... and who better than the philosophers of modern song to guide me through my quest?
Roger Miller wrote a ton of songs, including King Of The Road and England Swings. This was apparently his favourite, and it contains a line that perfectly sums up where I'm going with this...
Welcome back to the Hot 100. Before Christmas we got as far as #27, so basic accounting dictates we move on to number 26, as illustrated by Australian band... erm... 26. Appropriately enough, here is their song A New Beginning. Muse fans may want to give that a spin.
"If, like me, you are a bit of a sucker for just about anything sung in French, then I give you Stereolab's OLV 26."
And then came Douglas, still freezing his elbow patches* off on the picket line...
(*I'm presuming Canadian teachers have elbow patches on their threadbare blazers, just like teachers in the UK.)
"I don't recall if it has been mentioned many times already for other numbers, but Roger Miller's song Got Two Again is chock full of numbers and sums, including this verse containing our beloved number 26:
For the second verse
I need someone to give me a number
Between 12 and 14, I'll make a verse (13!)
13, ah, 13, well, 13 multiplied by 1
You still got 13 but wasn't that fun?
Now, take that same 13 multiply by 2
26 hours the train's overdue…
Never heard that before, Douglas, but I approve.
"And if the train is indeed 26 hours overdue, then that would make R.E.M.’s 26 hour road trip described in the song Departure unfortunately twice as long, at 52 hours (keeping with the sums theme, though I suspect that if they are going via Singapore and Spain to Salt Lake City I suspect their mode of travel is more likely a plane?):
Just arrived Singapore, San Sebastian, Spain, 26-hour trip
Salt Lake City, come in spring
Over the salt flats a hailstorm brought you back to me
Salt Lake City, come in spring
Over the salt flats a hailstorm brought you back to me
"And that's all I got, folks."
Both good suggestions. Not heard Departure in ages.
Finally, Rigid Digit returned with another fine lyrical offering...
However, for this week's suggestion I'm going with 12 minutes of protest song, from Gil Scott Heron, reacting to the election of President Ronald Reagan in 1981. Listen to this today and change a few names and statistics and it can surely apply to a couple of more recent election results as well..
Well, the first thing I want to say is..."Mandate My Ass!"
Because it seems as though we've been convinced
That 26% of the registered voters
Not even 26% of the American people
But 26% of the registered voters form a mandate...
Or a landslide...
The idea concerns the fact that this country wants nostalgia
They want to go back as far as they can ...
Even if it's only as far as last week
Not to face now or tomorrow, but to face backwards
Next week, we reach the last quarter in our century. Your 25s will be much appreciated...
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