Those of you who like watching celebrities dance on TV may well be horrified to have learned that the new Strictly host is Josh Widdecombe. Not a patch on the former host, old Wink' (Claudia Winkelman).
Emma Pollock or Emma's Imagination for the picture please, said Charity Chic, who's doing pretty well at picking our pictured artist lately, even if he can't supply any relevant tunes.
Ms. Pollock was always the Emma at the forefront of my mind for this post. I've been a fan since the early days of The Delgados.
The only other singing Emma in my collection is the actress Emma Caulfield, here duetting with Nicholas Brendon from the Buffy musical episode. I'm sure Alyson will appreciate this if nobody else.
Onto the songs then... although this week had less entries than usual. When I began this feature, I figured the girl's names would trounce the boy's names in song suggestions, but that hasn't been the case for the past few weeks. Anyway, here's what you had for me, beyond those that made the Top Ten...
...which was a bit too modern-Saxon. An older Saxon tune might have stood a chance.
Finally, you'll be pleased to know that my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, was far too busy doing important things this week to devote much effort to the search, although he did offer the following, which he says reminds him of being 12...
I was 31 when that record came out. It reminds him of being 12. Grrr...
(Actually, I think he's a year or two older than your Maths will reveal... but I ignore him whenever he tells me his exact age because it makes me ill.)
Meanwhile, scraped from my own hard-drive, but still worthy of consideration...
And, from 1971, this curious tale of an Emma who...
...comes to see me
About 8 o'clock each night
And she throws her arms around me
And off we go in flight
Like an airplane
Moving up and down
Which, however sweetly sung, is a pretty terrible euphemism.
However, one night Emma is late... and Jonathan has his tea at 8.30, so frankly, don't mess me about love. I'm not sure this song is meant to make me laugh so much.
Within every city and town there's a madison Frozen lives for whom nothing's happening Hungry children is a mother's dilemma Dumpster diving to feed her baby Emma
That's a classic, though probably not enough of a lyrical nod compared to some of the ones that did make the final ten.
Big cheese down at the Tourist Information Come forth with your queries And I’ll wade out for miles Never trust a crown green bowler under thirty The future’s so dull I’ve gotta sing torch songs Dropkick the improv workshop mimeshow gobshite Facepaint Left Bank Kenneth Emma R-A-D-A Rainer Werner Cokeheads cokeheads cokeheads
From Rigid Digit and Walter. Lovelier than you'd expect from Chumbawamba, plus it's from an album called A Singsong And A Scrap. What else do you need?
Can I add one more, said Martin,because it's excellent. For Emma, forever ago.
Also, For Emma by Bon Iver,Alyson seconded, I only discovered them and the album of the same name when I started writing about the pesky virus in March. They had a song called Blindsided on that album which fitted the bill perfectly at the time.
Jury's still out here at Top Ten Towers on the whole Bon "I recorded this album in a cabin in the woods to get back to the roots" Iver experience, I'm afraid. Still, this was popular enough (on a quiet week) to make the chart.
Thanks to Emma, says C, I can recycle my comment from last week with the disallowed Teddy!
"...There's a sweet song: 'The Ballad of Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes' by Hard Meat, and I can give you a little background to the story too..."
The rather ambiguous-sounding name Hard Meat suggests all sorts – perhaps the title of an Andy Warhol film or a Scandinavian porn mag, maybe even the name of a militant anti-vegetarian group…so you may be relieved to know that the Hard Meat I’m referring to here is a 60s/70s band from Birmingham. Even then one might expect them to be Black Sabbath soundalikes, complete with controversial lyrics and dubious imagery - however, they had a far softer and more psychedelic/folk/acid rock sound and one does wonder why they chose such a name.
Their first single was a cover of the Beatles’ Rain’ (b/w ‘Burning Up Years’ which was covered by NZ band Human Instinct - many thanks to the reader who corrected the info stated on here earlier) released in 1969 on Island, and they went on to make two albums for Warner Brothers, ‘Hard Meat’ and ‘Through A Window’.
It is the last track on ‘Through A Window’ entitled ‘The Ballad of Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes’ (also released as a single in 1970), which has been on continuous play in my mind this week. I just love its uplifting feel, and an overall sound reminiscent of Traffic and early Faces. I was also intrigued by its subject matter because Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes were real characters who, through the late 1800s/early 1900s, resided in the historic town of Colchester, which is just a few miles from where I live.
It’s assumed that Hard Meat were spending some time in the Essex countryside when they heard talk of these legendary local characters in a pub and were so struck by the stories that they decided to write a song about them.
Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes, pictured below in 1910, lived as eccentric tramps and roamed the streets of Colchester begging and blagging all that they needed to live on, drinking beer slops from the local pubs, sleeping in ditches and hedges, and probably managing to get by very adequately on very little. The local community tolerated them in spite of some controversy and brushes with the law – on the 1891 Census Emma registered her occupation as ‘prostitute’, the only one on the list, and was also sent to prison briefly for swearing at a policeman. Story has it that on her return from the clink some local lads asked her where she’d been, to which she replied, “to college”.
Read the rest, and see Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes for yourself, here.
Blimey, it's a long time since I heard the name Beulah, Brian. Didn't know this one, but it wins the prize for Best New Song You Guys Have Introduced Me To This Week. Especially when the trumpet kicks in at the 2 1/2 minute mark.
You flirt, you drink, you can't stop your winking at the boys at the bar
All you need is a gun and a car
A country song if you don't have a heart
1. Hot Chocolate - Emma
Back when pop/soul (what they'd call r 'n' b these days) had proper guitar solos in it!
Suggested by Martin, Lynchie and Alyson, who adds...
They were so consistent over a period of about 15 years yet I never hear of them much nowadays - anyway, a beautiful yet really sad song.
Thank you also to Martin for reminding me of the Sisters of Mercy cover...
31 Scars are the band I found to illustrate #31 in the Hot 100. What can I tell you about them? They like The Cranberries.
"Welcome back the songs with numbers thing!" said Lynchie.
To celebrate, I'd like to offer up Sin City written by Gram Parsons and performed by The Flying Burrito Brothers on the fab album "The Gilded Palace Of Sin". The chorus is:
This old earthquake's gonna leave me in the poor house
It seems like this whole town's insane
On the 31st floor a gold plated door
Won't keep out the Lord's burning rain
A fine tune, and one that featured on Saturday Snapshots a few weeks back, if I remember correctly. But not this week's winner.
"Good to see the return of the Hot 100, yes!" said C.
"Welcome back to the 100 - time for some more spurious suggestions. Thanks for giving back the opportunity for a dose of musical tourettes," said Rigid Digit.
"I too offer my welcome back and give my heartfelt thanks for bringing this series back to life," said Douglas. "I have, after all, been waiting months with baited breath to see if my Leroy Brown suggestion might finally have meant a first place finish! Missed by that much, once again."
Yeah, sorry about that, Douglas. Keep dreaming the dream.
A few great suggestions above that I would have made, and I am guessing Universal Soldier makes a strong finish. I would also have suggested Sin City, but in the spirit of offering something new and in keeping with the spirit of the musicians that seem to bring a winning touch round these parts, I will suggest the version by Billy Bragg, on the Talking With The Taxman About Poetry album.
I'd forgotten all about that.
As for unique and new suggestions, how about The Cure - So What?, from Three Imaginary Boys. It is a strange song, wherein Robert Smith, in the midst of a heartache breakup song, seems to be trying to sell us a cake decorating set. Not sure if that is a metaphor for something that eludes me, but in any case, the offer seems to be time-sensitive:
Order now
Allow twenty one days
For delivery
This offer closes
31st December 1979
I can't remember why, but that has featured on this blog before. It is gloriously mad.
Seems I missed my chance to get me one of them sets by close to 40 years.
You and me both.
And if that is too festive for you, perhaps a dead dog offered up by Mr Bruce Springsteen is more your fancy, in Reason To Believe off the delightful Nebraska album:
Seen a man standin' over a dead dog lyin' by the highway in a ditch
He's lookin' down kinda puzzled pokin' that dog with a stick
Got his car door flung open he's standin' out on Highway 31
Like if he stood there long enough that dog'd get up and run
Struck me kinda funny seem kinda funny sir to me
Yes, very funny indeed.
Another very good call, Douglas. Any other week... sadly I had another song in mind from the start this week. What was it? Well, it wasn't any of these...
However, first out of the gate this week was Charity Chic with a very fine suggestion from an artist I've long dallied with, every since I found her first album lounging in the chuck-out box at my former workplace. (What fools!)
