In the week before Easter, I was off work for three days with a bad cold. I'd been fighting through the cold over a week by the time I finally gave in and called in sick, but I just didn't seem able to shake it and I was feeling worse, rather than better, every day.
I still felt guilty calling in sick though. I don't like being absent from work, especially with a bloody cold! I've never thrown a sickie in my life... I just can't handle the stress. Everyone seemed fine about my absence, but that didn't stop my paranoia taking hold. The nice lady I called from HR said she hoped I'd be better for the Easter holiday, and even though I knew she wasn't having a dig... part of me wondered if she was.
It doesn't help that in my previous job at The Bad Place, we were put under pressure not to ever be ill, since there was never any staff free to cover our classes and management hated paying for agency cover. I recall one year I was off sick on my birthday, and my boss made a point of sending me a Happy Birthday! text. I was convinced it contained an inference that I was only taking the day off to celebrate... and how the hell did she even know it was my birthday? I never told her! As a course leader, I was also put under pressure to call or message anyone who was absent on my team and ask them when they thought they'd be back. Will you be in tomorrow? I refused to do it, because I felt it crossed a line, but I know other people who followed that practice.
I also knew that if I was off sick, it would put extra pressure on the other teachers in my team who were already over-worked and up against it. Many of my colleagues felt the same... and the ones who didn't, I was almost conditioned to believe they were swinging the lead. I guess in that, I was just as guilty of perpetuating the guilt cycle as my employers were. This was the culture that was bred into us in The Bad Place.
My current employers are much more understanding when it comes to sick leave, and because I know my colleagues are less over-worked, I don't feel like I'm imposing on them too much if I take time off. And yet... I still feel the guilt.
A report on patient.info asks "Why do we feel anxious about calling in sick when we are genuinely unwell?" Human behaviour expert Claire Brummell suggests...
The feeling of guilt we experience in these situations is because we are conditioned as a society to view doing anything to prioritise our own well-being as selfish.
This means that, even when we are physically in need of prioritising ourselves and our healing because we are genuinely ill, we still respond in a way that suggests we are doing something wrong.
Not only is it not selfish to call in sick, it is Selfirst - the practice of meeting your own needs as a priority, in ways that do not do harm to others, and sometimes can benefit them. It is actually taking care of the needs of others as well.
I get all that, and it's good to hear that I'm not the only one who has these feelings. But I'm not sure it's enough to stop me feeling them. Maybe after a few more years in this more supportive work environment, some of the mental scars from The Bad Place will start to fade. Until then, I just need to remember Chip Taylor's rather extreme solution...
It's 10 years since I last did a Top Ten Weather Forecast Songs, and although I did re-use a couple of the tracks from that old list this weekend, I also skipped some of the more obvious selections, including The Weather Girls, ELO, and... of course... this...
Every week I try to include a mix of well-known artists alongside artists that have never featured here before... otherwise, you guys get them all immediately, and where's the fun in that? Hence why I always call it "A Top Ten..." rather than "My Top Ten...", since chances are, I might include a track or artist I don't really care for. Although even the ones I might not choose to listen to in my own time uusally spark a brief nostalgic smile. Even the worst bits of the pop past look better from a distance.
Anyway, with thanks to C for suggesting it, here are ten songs about weather forecasting...
We finished watching the second series of Stephen Merchant’s The
Outlaws last week. I didn’t really like the direction the plot took this
season, but the cast was still strong, Merchant’s writing is still funny (if a
little BBC-preachy at times) and Christopher Walken is in it. Playing
Christopher Walken. Except he’s in the last place you’d expect to find
Christopher Walken.
Although he made his name in a diverse set of roles, from
The Deer Hunter to The Dead Zone, in recent years Christopher Walken has pretty
much played it safe and been Christopher Walken in just about everything.
Charming, witty, twinkly-eyed… but with a layer of sinister malevolence that
says if you cross him… boom! And often, though he doesn’t play the starring
role, he has the most memorable scene in the movie. Take his face-off with
Dennis Hopper in True
Romance or the Gold Watch monologue from Pulp Fiction. They never grow old.
When it comes to popping up in pop songs though… Walken is all over the place. Most memorably in a certain Norman Cook video.
Back in the 80s, there was a Ryan O’Neal film written by Norman Mailer called
Tough Guys Don’t Dance. Mailer obviously never met Walken.
Beyond dancing - what about lyrical cameos?
Well, Wilco have a song called Walken… though from the
lyrics, it does seem to be more about walking.
I'm walkin' all by myself Well, I was talkin' to myself About you; what am I gonna do?
If I seriously believed that was about Christopher Walken, I
might also suggest that Chaucer was predicting the rise of the great actor back in The
Canterbury Tales…
A mayde, and love huntynge and venerye, And for to walken in the wodes wilde, And noght to ben a wyf, and be with childe.
More specific references can be found in the following…
And a gold cap tooth is always misunderstood Christopher Walken's in a terrible mood And I broke some hearts I met along the way But my heart's broken every brand new day
From their 2017 comeback album, Damage & Joy, which I clearly need to spend more time with.
Stayed up late that night, texting away and talking Steaming my suit in the bathroom I'm gonna look sharp tomorrow, Like Christopher Walken in True Romance
Mark Kozelek will probably turn up in this feature a lot, because his rambling talky monologue "songs" drop references like this all the time. But I'm a Mark Kozelek fan, so I'm always happy to feature him here.
I see you're living in the basement in the summertime Your hat's on way too tight I see your middle name is Jason And I know it isn't Christopher Walken So why didn't you get a haircut?
Being an English teacher, I never really know what to make of Math Rock. Other than it clearly needs an 's'.
Ah, where, where was my mind when Mother said? Avoid navel-contemplating Floppy-haired actors originally from Baltimore Who excel at mime, still play Stratego And have issues with their mom Sure at first they're very charming, their attention is disarming But give attention in return and, dear, they'll drop you like a bomb Yes, do avoid REO Speedwagon-loving Christopher Walken-imitating thespians originally from Baltimore Who can't piss unless their shrink says it's okay Why let them break your heart, dear? Put your head on and be smart, dear Put some bug spray on and make them go away
I can't tell you anything about this other than I love it.
Velvet Presley lives in a hole No one can stop those neighbours talking Velvet Presley, rock and roll Thinking he looks like Christopher Walken Listen and he'll tell you of the time when he was leaving ‘Cos you never really had it that tough
I imagine Governor's Island is Shutter Island I imagine Christopher Walken as a dancer named Ryan It just don't seem right!
I think the reason I like this feature is that it throws up a lot of songs that are lyrically intriguing, tell stories, and are full of tiny novelistic details... which are my favourite types of songs, regardless of genre.
Ponies and clowns will be walking around Naked people having sex all over the ground Britney Spears is making out with Christopher Walken In the back yard Iron Maiden is rocking!
Regardless of genre!!! (Also, I think these guys are taking the piss. At least, I hope they are.)
And we talk about girls, what brothers don't talk about
girls And in his best Christopher Walken, He says "Go out and get 'em", guess who's the
protagonist?
I'm pretty sure I went to school with a kid called Jason Falkner. He wasn't the lead singer of Jellyfish though.
However, by far the best Christopher Walken songs I came
across during my research are the ones below. Both are deserving of a Gold Watch.
Firstly, Aussie wunderkind Courtney Barnett…
You say "Christopher", I say "Walken" You love, I love Christopher Walken I guess at least we have got one thing in common
And secondly, old favourites of this blog, with one of their
very best (much-covered) tunes…
I used to know you when we were young You were in all my dreams We sat together in Period One Fridays at 8:15
Now I see your face in the strangest places Movies and magazines I saw you talking to Christopher Walken On my TV screen
But I will wait for you As long as I need to And if you ever get back to Hackensack I'll be here for you
You and I brawl To give me all your clothes But all your jeans were too tight And why did you paint your bathroom black I can understand liking Barbara Streisand But I'm not sure about the soundtrack from Diva
But back to Alyson...
Other than the obvious Barbra (whom I adore, especially when she sang Guilty with Barry Gibb - there is an excellent clip when she introduces him and he appears from the darkness, a vision in his tight white trousers - 'It oughta be illegal'), there is Barbara Dickson.
This Barbara worked for my friend's dad as a junior civil servant in Rosyth before becoming famous. Quite liked her early stuff and Answer Me is one of the few songs I can sing quite well, as no high notes.
Is there any end to your famous connections, Alyson?
I hope you won't mind that I picked this one as it stuck in my mind from a very young age... I suspect I have Mr. Wogan to thank for that.
I listened to one second of that and it was enough to bring back nightmares. And Rigid Digit agrees...
I'll happily never hear that song again having spent a weeks holiday with 4 daughters under 10 singing it constantly.
I still get shivers.
I should probably have not suggested Barbie... I'm not even sure it is derived from Barbara. Still, while we're here, can we find a decent Barbie song?
A sweet song, and Peter Noone was so sweet-faced too (my big sister had such a crush on him she used to cry whenever he came on the telly).
Reminds me of listening to Brian Matthews, Radio 2, Saturday mornings. As for Peter and his Hermits... well, they don't make album covers like this anymore, do they?
For a different kind of loveliness, says The Swede (from whom, more in a moment) try...
Finally, you'll be be glad to know that my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, found himself dragged back into making suggestions again this week... even though it wasn't all about him. I don't expect him to stay around since I'm sure he'll be distracted by some other bright shiny things very soon. Young people today. Etc. Still, while he's here, I'm happy to share his ideas...
That's pretty awful. I only include it to show there are worse Barbara records than Duck Sauce or even Barbie Girl. I mean, it's almost as bad as this...
I'm starting the countdown with this one just to bait my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, who texted earlier in the week to tell me:
New Fleet Foxes album is awful. There, I saved you some time.
I'll make up my own mind about that, thank you very much.
The worst thing that could ever come from Foxes? I Love You, Honeybear.
Undaunted in the face of his youthful denunciation, I do like me some Father John Misty. As has been previously established here. I'm sorry, but lyrically, this is right up my cross-section...
My first memory of music's from The time at JC Penney's with my mom The watermelon candy I was choking on Barbara screaming, "Someone help my son!" I relive it most times the radio's on That "tell me lies, sweet little white lies" song That's when I first saw the comedy won't stop for Even little boys dying in department stores
Shirley Collins has recorded the ballad 'Barbara Allen' at least three times over the years, most recently for her latest LP 'Heart’s Ease', but I'd personally go for the 1968 version from 'The Power Of The True Love Knot', featuring her sister Dolly's ghostly flute-organ accompaniment.
But, with a song as old as this, there were many different versions to choose from, and I found the Everly's harmonies a little easier on the ear. Sorry about that, Swede.
Before saving the world and losing his cool in one go, Bob Geldof was a great pop star. This is one of my favourite Rats songs that wasn't a Number One. Plus it mentions Barbara Cartland, so any excuse...
Grant Hart had a song called Barbara on his Hot Wax album, says Swiss Adam, who's still kicking himself for missing the first post in this series. Never mind, this is a cracking track that more than makes up for your absence there, SA.
Barbara, always avoids unpleasant situations
She rides right next to me, between the streetcar stations
Her knees are big and bony, she takes up all the cushions
Barbara, always avoids unpleasant situations
And I just added Grant Hart to my Requires Further Investigation list. Even before I realised he used to be in Hüsker Dü.
Came very close to topping the chart this time, especially as it's about both a Barbara and a... erm... Brabra.
This was also the first suggestion to come through from my millennial hipster politico friend Ben... so there's obviously a reason I keep him around.
1. The Beach Boys - Barbara Ann
As Martin said, this was the "obligatory, obvious" Number One.
Not a Brian Wilson original, it was originally recorded in 1961 by The Regents. There are similarities to the more famous version, but it also sounds very much of its time. The Beach Boys version (with Dean Torrance from Jan & Dean sharing an uncredited lead vocal with Brian) is timeless.
There's a purity to early Beach Boys recordings that is unmatched in the entire sphere of popular music.
We're very lucky. Not only do we live within easy walking distance of beautiful countryside, but less than a 60 second walk from our house there is an enormous sport field which is virtually empty most of the time... and if other people are there, big enough that you can spread out easily. It's a boon when you have an energetic 6 year old. Get him to run around the football pitch a few times, or chuck a hacky sack (or Hackensack, as I like to call it, in tribute to the Fountains Of Wayne) over the rugby posts in an extended game of catch. We've spent a lot of time there over the last few weeks in a our "daily hour" of exercise.
One thing I've noticed is how many dandelions there are on that pitch this year. Most years they'd be long since kicked away by the Sunday league football teams... but with only dog walkers and the occasional game of catch played there at the moment, the dandelions are taking over. I know they're a weed, but I appreciate their colour.
Holmfirth Co-op car park, Saturday lunchtime. Normally at this time of year it'd be packed with day-trippers wanting to relive the golden yesteryear of Summer Wine. Now I swear you can spot tumbleweed.
I find myself appreciating the sky more at the moment. It helps me stay calm.
Scarecrow of the week. From the local allotments. "This will be a day long remembered."
Finally, more flowers. Bluebells. They're on the endangered species list, apparently. Not round here. Not right now. And they always make me feel Young At Heart.
Sadly, the coronavirus has claimed its first big musical casualty - from my record collection, at least.
(And as I was finishing this post, it claimed its second. A tribute to that gentleman, nay legend, will follow shortly.)
Fountains of Wayne were one of my favourite guitar bands of the late 90s / early 00s, bringing fun, storytelling lyrics, Beach Boys harmonies and chunky power pop chords back to the charts as a welcome reprieve from the darkness and self-destruction of the last days of Britpop. Most of the band's biggest songs were written by lead singers Adam Schlesinger and Chris Collingwood... and last week, one half of that songwriting duo fell victim to Covid-19.
Adam Schlesinger was a multi-talented musician, singing, songwriting and playing bass, guitar, keyboards and drums. As well as being a co-founder of the Fountains of Wayne, he also wrote a number of songs for movie soundtracks, musicals and TV shows. He worked with everybody from Nicki Minaj to the Monkees, so I guess he packed quite a lot into his 52 years... but damn it, 52 is way too young to be taken by this bloody disease.
The Fountains of Wayne drifted apart following their 2011 album Sky Full Of Holes and began working on separate projects. Here are ten of my favourites from a much-missed band that I was fortunate to see live around the turn of the millennium. A really difficult Top Ten to put together for me, and I had to leave out some of their biggest "hits". I'll be honest, I don't know exactly which of these were written by Schlesinger and which were penned by Chris Collingwood, but there are plenty more great tunes where these came from...
The band's eponymous debut album was packed full of gems, many of which were released as singles and enjoyed a fair bit of UK airplay back in 1996. Songs like Sink To The Bottom, Survival Car and Radiation Vibe (which even cracked the Top 40)... although my two favourites are this one... and this one:
Another lesser-known treat from their debut album, this one is a classic in the jealous loser geek songwriting genre. Stick around for the ELO chord right at the end too.
The one that everybody knows, and familiarity may breed contempt. The video also causes problems for some people, though I see it as a humourous parody of a certain kind of 80s teen movies.
The song, though, is power pop perfection - up there with My Best Friend's Girl by The Cars and Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield. I won't hear a word said against it.
1. Someone To Love
Not the Queen song, just a heartbreaking "what might have been" love story about two lonely people who might have been perfect for each other... if fate had smiled on them.
Seth Shapiro got his law degree
He moved to Brooklyn from Schenectady, '93
Got some clients in the food industry
He says it's not the money, it's the recipes
He calls his mom, says he's doing fine
She's got somebody on the other line
Puts Coldplay on, pours a glass of wine
Curls up with a book about organized crime
Beth McKenzie got the job of her dreams
Retouching photos for a magazine aimed at teens
It's Thursday night, she should be out on the scene
But she's sitting at home watching "The King of Queens"
Henry Gray released his latest album, 92, last year... so named, because that's how old he is. Let's hope he's got many more albums to come.
As for 92 songs though... what did you suggest?
Well, everyone has learned to keep away from years now, which is very good, but it does mean we can't have the excellent '92 Subaru by Fountains Of Wayne. Shame, but the FoW boys won Number 95, so they've had their moment.
Another one I'd have had to disqualify if you'd suggested it would have been 992 Arguments by The O'Jays. Pity, because that's a cracker too. Great lyrics.
C was first to jump in with a proper suggestion, but it was my second place choice this week... 92 Degrees by Siouxsie & The Banshees. What I love about this song is that it begins with a quote from one of my favourite 50s Sci Fi movies, It Came From Outer Space...
"Did you know, Putnam, that more murders are committed at 92 Fahrenheit than any other temperature? I read an article once. Lower temperatures, people are easygoing. Over 92, it's too hot to move. But just 92, people get irritable"
But it was another 92 Degrees that clinched the title this week, and for the second time in this competition, Alyson & Rigid Digit shared the points. I'll let RD do the introduction, because he nailed it...
"A fine slab of Black Country Grungey-Grebo-Samply-Rap(ish)-Indie..."
Next week... I may have to use a year song. But it won't be a remix or anything like that. It also won't be what you expect... but I'm willing to have my mind changed if you can come up with a better suggestion. Go for it!
