Snapshots #330: A Top Ten Jeans Songs

Money talks, but it don't sing and dance, and it don't walk...

Here are ten songs with jeans on.

10. Good Lord!

That's Lord David Paul Nicholas Dundas, don't you know?

David Dundas - Jeans On

9. Found amid landlocked countries.

Found amid landlocked countries.

Midland - Bury Me In Blue Jeans

8. Assist this young lady, Zeus!

God Help The Girl - I Just Want Your Jeans

7. Assess the current season.

Marks out of 10 for this winter?

Mark Wynter - Venus In Blue Jeans

6. Caters for French Vikings of all sizes.

He'll Cook for the Normans, whether they're slim or fatboys.

Fatboy Slim - That Old Pair Of Jeans

5. Spent so long on the main road, he neglected his gateaux. 

He is a lineman of the county, and he drives the main road. While doing so, he may also be guilty of leaving his cake out in the rain.

Jimmy Webb - Lady Fits Her Blue Jeans

4. Came last twice, but still made it to Number One.

The last letter is Z, but they still made it to the Top.

ZZ Top - Blue Jean Blues

3. Turner, Trotter, Ridley.

Lana Turner, Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter and Daisey Ridley, who plays Rey in the rubbish 21st Century Stars Wars films (not the rubbish 90s Star Wars films).

Lana Del Rey - Blue Jeans

2. I can see my house from up here!

The View - Same Jeans

1. Breaks an indie mold.

"An indie mold" was an anagram that needed breaking up, to make...

Neil Diamond - Forever In Blue Jeans

(Neil was on the fencing team at NYU.)

Snapshots will be back next Saturday, but you'll only be allowed in if you're smartly dressed. No jeans!

Saturday Snapshots #148: The Answers

You should have used the Force to crack yesterday's clues. It makes them so much easier...

10. Pray for the lass, twice.

God Help The Girl - God Help The Girl

9. We'll probably be eating breakfast on our own.

Breakfast at Tiffany's?

Tiffany - I Think We're Alone Now

8. Head down discharge highways.

Another word for discharge is emit. 

Emitt Rhodes - With My Face On The Floor

R.I.P.

7. Recovered so well, they named them twice.

New York was so good they named it twice.

New York City - I'm Doin' Fine Now

6. Born again in Harlem with underlined horticulturist & the Silver Skates.

Resurrected where they do the shuffle.

Ashton Under Lyne.

Gardener.

"Hans Brinker; or, the Silver Skates: A Story of Life in Holland" is the story of the little Dutch boy who puts his finger in a dike.

Ashton, Gardner & Dyke - The Resurrection Shuffle

5. McFly meet the only man at Number Ten: objects.

Marty McFly.

The only man in God Bless The Girl (#10) is Stuart Murdoch (also of Belle & Sebastian).

Marty Stuart - Little Things

4. Shaken by rough winds, causing a crash landing.

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, 

And summer's lease hath all too short a date.

The Darling Buds - Hit The Ground

3. Nightshade fire around pier, column and abutment.

Peppers come from the Nightshade family. If they're on fire, they're red hot.

Piers, columns and abutments are found under bridges.

The Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Under The Bridge

2. Get off Peter's sledge!

Peter had a Sledge... Hammer.

Yo! Sound the bell! School's in, suckers!

MC Hammer - U Can't Touch This

1. I am Torso, Cereal Celia.

"I am Torso" is an anagram. Cereal Celia would be a cornflake girl.

If you failed at these, don't worry - there will be A New Hope next Saturday...

My Top Ten Bathtime Songs

Sam does love bathtime. It's the highlight of his day... after eating and pooping.

Here's ten songs to bathe in...


10. No Doubt - Bathwater

I did prefer Gwen Stefani before she became so big and full of herself.

9. The Wonder Stuff - 30 Years In The Bathroom

And you think your other half spends a long time in the bath! Imagine if you lived with Miles Hunt...

And now the time has come to share the joke
That the latch on the bathroom door is broke
And now it's time to let you know
That it's only the beat of my heart that is slow
Who's fault is this? I deny that it's mine
I been stuck in here since 1959
That's 30 good years in the bathroom baby

8. God Help The Girl - Pretty Eve In The Tub

Belle & Sebastian's Stuart Murdoch was found lurking outside this lady's bathroom making suggestive remarks through the steamed up window. 

7. The Beatles - She Came In Through The Bathroom Window

As part of the majestic opera that is Side 2 of Abbey Road, this is Lennon & McCartney at their most amazing. Doesn't really work outside that context though.

6. The Divine Comedy - Bath

Only Neil Hannon could begin a song with a quote from the bible, followed by a lengthy string quartet intro, the lines "Rub-a-dub-dub, it's time for a scrub"... before going on to tell us of Ophelia's last day on earth. If you call that pretentious, you don't understand genius.

5. Bobby Darin - Splish Splash

We sang this to Sam quite a lot to encourage enjoyment in his earliest bathtime adventures. The cheesier side of rock 'n' roll: good, clean fun.

4. Tindersticks - Bathtime

Stuart Staples, the world's greatest pub-singer, gets filthy in the city and needs to clean up his act. 

3. Harry Nilsson - Bath

I'm beginning to think there's hope for the human race...

Steady on, Harry...

2. The Beat - Mirror In The Bathroom

Ska classic. Great beat, don't try to make sense of the lyrics.

Can I take you to a restaurant
That's got glass tables?
You can watch yourself
While you are eating

1. The Real Tuesday Weld - Bathtime In Clerkenwell

I think it's fair to say there's nothing else like this track on this Top Ten... or anywhere else in the known universe. No idea what it's about or where it came from, but it sounds like the best bathtime ever...




Which one makes you want to take a soak?