(Technically speaking, the monkey nut, aka the peanut, is not actually a nut. It's a legume. But I couldn't find any decent Cashew songs, so it sneaked it, just pushing out Harry Nilsson's Coconut, which is a fruit.)
(And yes, hazelnuts only have one L. But this Hazell was a TV detective, for whom Maggie sang the theme tune. And it's a cracking tune, so it was shoe-horned in.)
1. Tyts.
Tits would be birds. What else were you thinking of...?
The Byrds - Chestnut Mare
Snapshots will be back next Saturday. You'd be nuts to miss it!
I grew up listening to Terry
Wogan. He was a warm and friendly voice on the radio; he often made me
laugh, sometimes till I cried; and like all the best DJs, he introduced
me to some great records. Here's ten that will always remind me of old
Tel...
The only pop song I know that mentions Terry by name, and that's what drew my attention to Franz Ferdinand in the first place. It's about a band starting out and dreaming of a better future - including an interview on Wogan.
So I'm on BBC2 now, telling Terry Wogan how I made it
What I made is unclear now, but his deference is and his laughter is
My words and smile are so easy now
Yes, It's easy now
Yes, It's easy now
It's a curious, dreamlike interlude in the song which doesn't quite fit with the rest, but that's what makes it great. It certainly helped lift Franz Ferdinand a step above other turn-of-the-century guitar bands like the Libertines, though I'm not sure they ever did anything so self-consciously odd again.
I resisted including The Floral Dance or any of Terry's own musical recordings (although he did have a damned fine voice and if you can track down his duet with Cerys Matthews on Que Sera Sera, recorded for Children In Need a few years back, you'll be amazed), but I couldn't resist this. For many years, Ray Moore presented the show before Terry on Radio 2. Moore was a quiet, very well spoken gentleman representative of the old school BBC, with a wickedly subversive sense of humour (much like Tel himself). Somehow, Moore's jokey charity record based on a rhyme from his Liverpudlian childhood reached #24 in the charts in 1986. Sadly, he died of cancer in 1989, but not before being reunited with his old radio sparring partner one last time...
When I posted my initial reaction to Terry's death with the video for my #2 song, saying how it always reminded me of Terry, my old pal Sally responded immediately that she agreed... and then mentioned Billie Jo Spears. A few weeks back, I picked up a Billie Jo CD in the local charity shop and was surprised by how many of them I remembered... from a long, long time ago. My misspent youth: listening to Terry Wogan on the wireless.
Any excuse to play some Glen (and Jimmy Webb). I thought about crowbarring the Greatest Record Ever Recorded in here again, but it's Rhinestone Cowboy, not Wichita Lineman, that reminds me more of Terry.
I guess I can trace my love of country music to Sir Terence. While rock and indie and alt-everything else came later, Radio 2 was the station I listened to as a small child, and Terry introduced me to many of my favourite country singers.
Apparently, the album this comes from was Terry's all-time favourite 33 1/3. I didn't know that till compiling this post, but I did know the song... thanks to Tel.
Clifford T. Ward slips into the Nick Drake category - a heartbreaking singer-songwriter too shy and retiring to play the fame game. One listen to this song will tell you he could have been massive... if he'd had the confidence.
Written by Randy Newman, who only does film scores these days, this was the theme to the second Babe film, Pig In The City. Getting Peter Gabriel to record it along with Paddy Moloney of the Chieftains and the Black Dyke Mills brass band lifted it beyond the schmaltz of its roots, turning it into something really quite moving. When Terry appeared on Desert Island Discs, he chose this as the favourite of all his selections.
The record that was at Number One in March 1972, the month I was born. A couple of weeks later, Terry Wogan took over the Radio 2 breakfast show and became the most recognisable radio voice of my childhood. And he played this song a lot...
Another favourite of Tel's, for obvious reasons as it's about a morning radio jock who's feeling his age. There's a radio edit of the song that ends a little happier than the album version, but I'm sure Terry used to play the original, sadder version. (I might be wrong: my memory makes its own rules.) Hearing this song on Terry's show when I was a kid introduced me to the late great Harry Chapin and I've been a fan ever since.
1. Hoyt Axton - Della & The Dealer
I've been wanting to feature this song here for a while. It's a longtime favourite of mine and I know for certain it was Terry who introduced me to it. I've never heard anyone else play it on the radio, and I'm not sure I'd have heard of Hoyt Axton (beyond his most famous role as Zach Galligan's dad in Gremlins) otherwise. It was the first song that came to mind when I heard about Terry's death, so it makes Number One today...
If that cat could talk, what tales he'd tell,
About Della and the Dealer and the dog as well.
But the cat was cool,
And he never said a mumblin' word...
Good night, Terry. Dallas wouldn't have been the same without you...
Harry Nilsson's 1977 album Knnillssonn was due to be his comeback. After rupturing his vocal chords during a wild night of drinking and debauchery with John Lennon a few years earlier, his voice had suffered on subsequent recordings. But it was back on top form by the time of Knnillssonn and his record company were up for promoting the heck out of it. Then an artist on the same label sadly passed away just as Knnillssonn was due to be released... and the promotional budget went on flogging Elvis Presley's back catalogue to the grieving masses.
Smashing anti-suicide anthem from Jim Bob and Fruitbat...
I didn't want to be so dozy, darling
I should have promised you a rosy garden
And told you life is sweet, stick around and enjoy it
Flush that stupid nonsense down the toilet
And lean on me I won't fall over
In the late 90s, Beth Orton recorded an EP with 70s soul/jazz legend Terry Callier, including this gorgeous take on Callier's own leaning composition. Their voices just go so well together.
Are we happy, are we scared? Are we shouting never heard? Are we running, running brave? Are we fighting, making waves?
If you answered yes to these questions, chances are you grew up in the 1980s. Red Box have now released three studio albums: one in 1986, one in 1990... and one in 2010 (which was a big hit in Poland).
Everyone always goes on about how The Smiths threw away some of their greatest songs on b-sides (How Soon Is Now!!!) but Paul Heaton did the same with his original band, The Housemartins. I'd always assumed this was a cover version. Turns out when I read the sleeve notes that it is a Heaton original, written "on the spot as a filler" with Pete "18 With A Bullet" Wingield, and so good it ended up making its way onto their debut album. While it's not quite in the same league as today's winning tune, it's still an amazing recording. (And, as Martin said while commenting on my last post, we all need a little more Housemartins in our lives.)
1. Bill Withers - Lean On Me
No prizes for guessing my Number One. A timeless soul classic originally released when I was one month old. Withers appears to have retired from music making in the late 80s, but I guess he still dines out on this song... and all its many, many successful cover versions.
And you think your other half spends a long time in the bath! Imagine if you lived with Miles Hunt...
And now the time has come to share the joke
That the latch on the bathroom door is broke
And now it's time to let you know
That it's only the beat of my heart that is slow
Who's fault is this? I deny that it's mine
I been stuck in here since 1959
That's 30 good years in the bathroom baby
As part of the majestic opera that is Side 2 of Abbey Road, this is Lennon & McCartney at their most amazing. Doesn't really work outside that context though.
Only Neil Hannon could begin a song with a quote from the bible, followed by a lengthy string quartet intro, the lines "Rub-a-dub-dub, it's time for a scrub"... before going on to tell us of Ophelia's last day on earth. If you call that pretentious, you don't understand genius.
Ska classic. Great beat, don't try to make sense of the lyrics.
Can I take you to a restaurant That's got glass tables? You can watch yourself While you are eating
1. The Real Tuesday Weld - Bathtime In Clerkenwell
I think it's fair to say there's nothing else like this track on this Top Ten... or anywhere else in the known universe. No idea what it's about or where it came from, but it sounds like the best bathtime ever...
I'd like to apologise... for having no shame. Seriously, though, if you can find another video that SCREAMS 80s camp more than this... while simultaneously being exceedingly creepy... I want to see it.
Look, it was this or more Eminem: My Dad's Gone Crazy (which, after choosing Cliff, you probably think I have). Eminem fans - come back next week.
On his own recent compilation of Daddy-related tunes, Deano claimed that "this song makes you realise how good Elvis’s voice actually
was". I couldn't agree more. And whenever I hear it, I get a little bit sad that we live in a cynical, post-ironic age that might laugh at a song written from the perspective of a child who's lost his mum, trying to cheer up his broken-hearted father. This is a beautiful record.
1. Loudon Wainwright III - Being A Dad
Rufus and Martha have had much to say about their father's incessant need to chronicle their childhood in song... not always positive. This is the guy who famously wrote Rufus Is A Titman, about his baby son's penchant for breastfeeding (did that put Rufus off tits for life?), and Daughter (you ask me, Martha got off lightly!) But Being A Dad must surely be his crowning glory...
Bein' a dad isn't so bad
Except that you gotta feed 'em
You gotta shoe 'em and clothe 'em
And try not to loathe 'em
Bug 'em and hug 'em and heed 'em Bein' a dad can sure make you mad
Man, it even can drive you crazy
It's as hard as it looks
You gotta read them dumb books
And you end up despising Walt Disney
80s one hit wonder (he was set to be the next big thing but it never happened). Watch the link above for his timeless "live" performance from BBC Pebble Mill.
Sadly, Shrag called it a day late last month, citing poverty and "old age" among their reasons. They leave an impressive legacy for those of us who cared.
Sadly,
only a ropey live version is available on youtube, but it's recorded at
the same venue where I saw Evan and co. a few years earlier so extra
points for that.
Harry posits a future where the Beatles are forgotten lounge bar performers...
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to speak of other things" Like a fallen star who works in a bar where Yesterday is king The fans will stay for an hour or so, they still remember his fame But the time has come the Walrus said, to call your fans by name
Is it better to burn out than fade away? Ironically, Harry Nilsson managed to do both.
It's hard to believe that a song which begins, "I pulled the ex last, and it felt weird to feel her up again" can actually get any better... yet this does, in that grubby, confessional, TMI way the Arab Strap boys specialise in.
And she brought the drinks all night, But that's okay, now she's got a job.
Her generosity - my curse. She even let me keep her purse.
In which David Gedge goes all Julie Andrews on us...
Uneaten meals
A lonely star
A welcome ride in a neighbour's car
A long walk home
The pouring rain
I fell asleep when you never came
Some rare delight in Manchester town
It took six hours before you let me down
To see it all in a drunken kiss
A stranger's hand on my favourite dress
1. The Cardigans - My Favourite Game
A hugely infectious riff and some very dangerous driving from Nina Persson - one of their very best.
Not done one of my US road trip Top Tens for awhile. Wasn't sure I could get a whole post out of songs about the Buckeye State, but it's amazing what you find when you start digging around in your music library...
The funkiest Ohio band ever, these guys were together in one guise or another for over 40 years, scoring a pair of US Number Ones in the mid-70s, Fire and Love Rollercoaster (covered in the 90s by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers who had a minor UK hit with it). O.H.I.O. isn't their greatest moment, but it is the one that spells out their state of origin.
Sycamore trees blowing green in the distance
She sucked on her thumb in her beautiful jail
A sentence to serve as her dynasty blows up inside her balloon
Salty Maureen had a bun in the oven
The daughters of charity let out a sigh
As she suffered they pleaded for mercy she needed a long time ago
You have to wonder whether professional British miserablist David Shah has ever set foot in Ohio. Sometimes I wonder if he ever sets foot out of his house. Still, more power to him as long as he keeps recording tunes like this one, free to download from the band's website at the link above.
I also just discovered they released a new album last year - available to buy from the Indelicates' Corporate Records site. I look forward to giving that a spin.
A traditional folk song murder ballad covered by everyone from Johnny Cash to Olivia Newton John (in, of all places, a Cliff Richard movie). But the Handsome Family always win in the Murder Ballad Olympics as far as I'm concerned.
A Randy Newman song (here's the original), but the Harry Nilsson version is preferable... because it's Harry bloody-beautiful Nilsson.
Sing a song of long ago
When things were green and movin' slow
And people'd stop to say hello
Or they'd say "hi" to you
"Would you like to come over for tea
With the missus and me?"
It's a real nice way
To spend the day
In Dayton, Ohio
On a lazy Sunday afternoon in 1903
The National get carried to Ohio in a swarm of bees. Just another day at the office for them guys.
1. Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young - Ohio
Neil Young's scream of protest against the Kent State massacre was banned by American radio for pointing the finger of blame at Richard Nixon. It remains one of the most powerful protest songs ever written.
Those were my Buckeyed Best... but which is your champion conker*?
(*On investigation, I discovered that the Buckeye is a tree which produces conkers similar to our own Horse Chestnut. See, we're not only about the obscure pop records here.)
