Snapshots #357: A Top Ten Monopoly Address Songs

This weekend, I set you all the task of buying ten different addresses on thew Monopoly board. Did you get them all, or did you end up in jail?

10. The risque yob gets befuddled.

The risque yob" was an anagram.

The Quireboys - Mayfair

9. They may not win, but they'll still enjoy themselves.

The Good Time Losers - Trafalgar Square

8. Found in competitive archbishops and heartthrob oysters.

Found in comPETitive archbiSHOPs and heartthroB OYSters.

Pet Shop Boys - King's Cross

7. Shatner's full of holes! Let's sew him back together with some spare material.

Patch William - Take Me Home To Marylebone

6. Knife found in London prison.

A Stanley knife found in HMP Holloway.

Stanley Holloway - Wot Cher! (Knock'd Em In The Old Kent Road)

5. John Astin.

John Astin played Gomez in The Addams Family.

Gomez - Whippin' Piccadilly

4. His boy scores no points.

You get Nil, son.

Harry Nilsson - Vine Street

3. Gone off.

Rancid - Leicester Square

2. Craig Charles has lost weight!

In the TV show Red Dwarf, Craig Charles played Dave Lister.

Skinny Lister - Trouble On Oxford Street

1. Neil Young played this on their opening night.

"Los Angeles' famed Roxy Theater officially opened its doors on September 20th, 1973, with a performance by Neil Young and his band the Santa Monica Flyers."

Roxy Music - Do The Strand

You might also have purchased...

S.C.U.M. - Whitechapel

Frank Turner - The Angel, Islington

(That would have been a cinch this week, had I not already featured it in A Top Ten London Underground Songs.)

Ian Hunter - Bow Street Runners

Dimples & Eddie - Fleet Street

Jethro Tull - Jeffrey Goes To Leicester Square

And yesterday's opening act...

David Bowie - Maid Of Bond Street

Product Placement Friday #2: Pot Noodle

I've never eaten a whole Pot Noodle. Even back in the 80s, when they were all the rage... even then, their reputation preceded them. I think I once tried a forkful of my sister's... that was enough.

Still, they remain inexplicably popular, and not just with students. In the mid-90s, one company paid another company $280 million for the rights to produce Pot Noodle under the Pot Noodle name. Golden Wonder then created a rival brand to the one they'd sold, calling it first The Nation's Noodle... which was eventually changed to Noodle Pot. You couldn't make it up.

Here are some songs that feature Pot Noodles...

Comino - Pot Noodles and Tinned Soup

Super Adventure Club - Hip Hop Hot Pot Pot Noodle

Stock, Hausen & Walkman - Pop Me / Pot Noodle

How about some quick lyrical snacks?

With wine gum's and diesel

Pot Noodle or fries

I'd rather die from emphysema

Than learn to just get by

Gomez - Dire Tribe

Louise went to university with the bloke from Gomez. And that's the end of that story.

Its hard sometimes trying to be a geezer

A good lad

With pressures to get on in life

And turn out like your dad

And getting a house, dog, kids, car

The whole kit and caboodle

And making out you can't cook

Apart from Pot Noodle

Just Jack - Lesson One

Let's Squeeze one more in before announcing today's winner.

Chris Difford - Pop Noodle

 

Which brings us to One Man Band Andy Twyman. Here's some Blues You Haven't Heard Before...

Having consumed all that, I still feel strangely empty...

Saturday Snapshots #119 - The Answers

Mork calling answers... come in, answers!

Nanu nanu.


10. Poet stuck in the bog? Typical human being.

Shelley, up to his neck in the peat?

My favourite Mark Lamarr joke: "It's like the Buzzcocks without the buzz."

Watch the video and marvel at what strange times the 80s were.

Pete Shelley - Homosapien

9. A couple, in three movements? Child's play!

A couple are often lovers.

A concerto comes in three movements. (According to iffypedia.)

Children play with toys.

The Toys - A Lover's Concerto

8. Labelled middle-class? No worries.

Bourgeois Tagg - I Don't Mind At All

7. Too much superglue.

Too much is an excess.

If there was too much superglue between us, you would never tear us apart.

INXS - Never Tear Us Apart

6. Ode to a Phoenix, from a menacing anchorman.

Ode to River Phoenix?

Dennis was a Menace.

Bob Wilson was an anchorman. 

Well, I’d like to meet Stephenson the engineer

And I’d like to meet Faraday and buy him a beer

And I’d love to meet the bloke who had the bright idea of

Bob Wilson – anchorman

Dennis Wilson - River Song

5. Last dingo does Alan Partridge impression.

"Last dingo" is an anagram of Santigold. Although she was originally called Santogold, so that would make her the last dongo.

Santigold - Say Aha!

4. Second Goddess, electric smut.

We used to call smutty movies "blue". How quaint we were back then.

The second planet from the sun has the name of a goddess...

Shocking Blue - Venus

3. I am the... opposite of Frank Black. You are... the only one in the race.

I am the Walrus of Love.

The Bloodhoung Gang sang that they were "not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is".

The only one in the race would be the first, the last... pretty much everything.

Barry White - You're The First, The Last, My Everything

2. Creepy, kooky dad in police custody.

The Addams Family (creepy, kooky and altogether ooky) dad was Gomez.

Gomez - Get Myself Arrested

1. Jill and Sam's other halves enjoy sliced fruit in a tent.

Jack & Jill.

Sam & Diane. (One for Cheers' fans.)

Enjoy a melon slice at camp.

Cougar not pictured.

One of the best songs of the 80s...




O Captain, my Captain: Saturday Snapshots will be back next week. Carpe diem!

Hot 100 Countdown #78

Whitey Morgan & The 78s (worth a dabble if you like a bit of Americana) welcome you to the latest edition of the Hot 100 Countdown as we reach number seventy eight... a number for which, once I'd discounted songs about 1978, there were two clear contenders.

We'll get to those in a moment. First though, your suggestions...

Martin was first out of the gate with something which would have been a clear winner had this been about 1978...

Bruce Springsteen - Racing In The Street '78... Oh, the harmonica! Oh, the piano! Oh the nostalgic American romanticism!

Martin also offered the following, which I'd never hear before but does the job nicely...

Rich Mullins & A Ragamuffin Band - 78 Eatonwood Green

Next up was The Swede who offered this lo fi oddity. Pretty good, though it does sound like it was recorded on Memorex.

Omni - 78

Rigid Digit was among those suggesting today's winner, but he also offered a couple more sterling contenders that live right next to each other in all our record collections. This...

Manic Street Preachers - Montana/Autumn/78

And this... which gets him top marks. Always got time for Manly Barrymore.

Barry Manilow - Summer of '78

All excellent - but what were my original contenders? Well, the runner-up was always going to be this, seconded by Martin...

Stiff Little Fingers - 78 RPM

The winner though? Obvious, it seems. Suggested first by Lynchie, then seconded by just about everybody else.

My other half went to uni with the lead singer of Gomez. Her only memory of him is that he was "a bit full of himself", which I guess goes with the territory if you're gonna be a pop singer. However, I'd back this up by saying that the one time I saw Gomez play live in the late 90s, they spoiled a perfectly fine gig by not knowing when to finish and doing about 27 encores like they were James Brown or someone with a lot more than just one half-decent album to go at. We left at about encore five, but for all I know they carried on all night. They'd probably still be doing the show today if the venue in question hadn't been knocked down 15 years ago.

Anyway...



Next week... 77. Any suggestions gratefully received.

My Top Ten Whipping Songs

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