Snapshots Superman Songs Spillover (#2)

We closed Monday's collection of Superman songs with a track by Cinerama. Comic book fan David Gedge also used the name of the most bizarre Superman foe as the title of his other band's second album: Bizarro by The Wedding Present. Sadly, he never wrote a song about Bizarro... but these guys did... 

The Monochrome Set - Mr. Bizarro

And this isn't too far off...

Straw - Weird Superman

All of which brings us to another post of songs featuring the Man of Steel...

Meat Loaf - Man of Steel

...and his friends and foes. Starting with one for Brian!

Tullycraft - Superboy & Supergirl

Actually, Supergirl appears to be far more popular with songwriters than her young male counterpart... who'd have thought it?

Donovan - Superlungs, My Supergirl

Johnny Cougar - Supergirl

Reamonn - Supergirl

Kate Miller-Heidke - Supergirl

The Fugs - Supergirl

The Troggs - Supergirl 

(That cover's from the 90s, when mullets were big.)

When he's not being Superman, Kal El goes by another name, that of mild-mannered investigative reporter...

Klark Kent - Don't Care

That's not how he spells it. 

Klark Kent was an alias for Stewart Copeland of The Police, recording a song that Sting didn't want for the day job. John says, "Stewart Copeland’s debut album Klark Kent was a belter."

Clark Kent works for a newspaper called The Daily Planet. On Saturday we featured a song by the title by Arthur Lee & Love. Here's another one...

Mark Hollis - The Daily Planet

And that's where Superman met the love of his life...

The Flys - Lois Lane

Farrah - Lois Lane

Weird coincidence department: all the bands I could find who wrote a song about Lois Lane (along with Sunday's Franz Ferdinand) began with the letter F.

But Lois wasn't Clark's first love though. That title would go to...

Rouge Pompier - Lana Lang

And he even had a fling with a mermaid once. Her name? Lori Lemaris. Can you spot a pattern here?

Not everybody with the initials LL loves Superman though. Let's not forget his arch enemy, Lex Luthor, a man who's jealousy of Superman might yet be explained that nobody has ever written a decent pop song in his honour...

Elvis Costello - Dr. Luther's Assistant

That was the best I could come up with, with the wrong spelling... and he's not even a doctor! No wonder he's such a bitter, twisted sociopath...

Luthor isn't Superman's only foe. We mentioned Bizarro earlier, and Braniac earlier in the week. Then there's the Kryptonian supervillain memorably played by Terence Stamp in Superman 2, General Zod...

Billy Talent - Kingdom Of Zod

And let's not forget the badguy who killed Superman back in 1992...

The Shirelles - Doomsday

Evelyn Thomas - Doomsday

Final question for today... what do you get if you put all of Superman's worst foes together in the same room?

The Superman Revenge Squad?

That'd be a good name for a band, don't you think?

Are we done with this now?

Not quite yet...

My Top Ten Secretary Songs

Ten songs to help run your office...


10. Paul McCartney - Temporary Secretary

Many years ago, I remember reading an article arguing that this was the worst song Sir Thumbsaloft had ever recorded. Personally, I disagree - and not just because he's done much worse things over the last 30 years. Listening to it again now, I think he accidentally created the soundtrack to a lot of ZX Spectrum games in the 80s... and a fair bit of early 90s dance music obviously used this track as a template.

The lyrics are bollocks though.

9. The Raconteurs - Intimate Secretary

Not to be outdone by Lord Macca, here Jack White and Brendan Benson elevate bollocks lyrics to an artform. Almost.

I've got a rabbit, it likes to hop
I've got a girl and she likes to shop
The other foot looks like it won't drop
I had an uncle but he got shot

8. Betty Wright - Secretary

A rather old-fashioned warning to housewives... is your husband's secretary putting a little joy in your man's life?

7. Joy Rider & Avis Davis - Nasty Secretary

A lost punk gem from 1979 New York. Not really sure why Joy's got it in for this particular secretary, except the lady in question won't seem to put her calls through...

Get it straight, yer boss is a jerk
He pays you like a peon and he treats you like dirt
If you're good he'll send you away, down to Miami for a week with no pay...

The Hives did a pretty cool cover of this too.

Quick tip - don't google search 'Nasty Secretary' at work... or you might be looking for a new job by the end of the day. 

See also Stewart Copeland's Klark Kent - Office Girls. More secretary punk, this time from a UK Police-man.

6. Soft Cell - Facility Girls

Marc Almond's secretary may be a bright young thing with a promising career... but what is she at night?

She's got the ability
She's got the facilities...

5. Belle & Sebastian - Step Into My Office, Baby

A little gender equality: here Stuart Murdoch plays a male secretary who gets eaten alive by his new female boss. She's got an out tray full of guys...

4. Harry Chapin - Halfway to Heaven

Another classic story song from the late, great Harry C, one of the best midlife crisis records I've ever heard. A tragic tale of a middle aged man risking everything for a misguided fling with his secretary...

God damn, I'm one crazy mixed up mixture of a man...

3. Billie Jo Spears - Mr. Walker, It's All Over

Probably the best song purely about the perils of being a secretary... it should really be Number One, but I follow my own weird rules round these parts, which is why these lists are nothing more than internet detritus. Don't take them seriously...

In this building there's a crowd of guys with old familiar thoughts upon their minds
That's a lot of hands a reaching out to grab the things that I consider mine
And the president pursues me even though he's old and hair a turnin' white
Mr Walker it's all over I don't like the New York secretary's life!

2. Del Amitri - Nothing Ever Happens

Justin Currie's ode to mundane loneliness only features secretaries in its opening lines, but it remains one of the best singles of the 80s in my humble opinion... I'd feature it here every week if I could. 

Post office clerks put up signs saying 'Position Closed'
And secretaries turn off typewriters and put on their coats...

1. Dolly Parton - 9 To 5

Although the movie focused on rebellious secretaries, the song itself could be adopted by any working Jo (or Joe) who spends their life just putting money in the boss man's wallet...

They let you dream
Just a watch 'em shatter
You're just a step on the boss man's ladder
But you got dreams he'll never take away

In the same boat with a lot of your friends
Waitin' for the day your ship'll come in
And the tide's gonna turn
And it's all gonna roll you away

Which one is taking your calls?