Snapshots #291 - A Top 25 King Songs

In lieu of pledging allegiance to our new King, which I'm not about to do because I'M NOT A 17TH CENTURY KNIGHT, here are 25 songs in his "honour"...

25. Slip severely and jumble.

"Slip severely" is an anagram.

Elvis Presley - King Creole

24. Trendy appliance.

Fad Gadget - King of the Flies

23. Stare at the text closely.

Stare at the teXT Closely.

XTC - King For A Day

22. Musk without Nitrogen.

Take the N from Elon...

ELO - Rock n Roll Is King

Now that's a king I will pledge allegiance too!

21. This is what happens when you go out in the cold without a proper top on, ladies.

The Nipple Erectors - King of the Bop

Shane MacGowan's first band!

20. They say it all started in Wuhan...

China Crisis - King In A Catholic Style

19. They were probably mild-mannered.

Remember Penry, the mild-mannered janitor...?

The Janitors - Good To Be The King

18. A peach from the same town as John's angel.

John Prine sang of an Angel From Montgomery. Peach Melba.

Melba Montgomery - King of Kings

17. Derek Dick's having a wobble.

Derek Dick is Fish. Jelly wobbles.

Jellyfish - The King Is Half Undressed

16. Their leader crashed his bike.

Look out, look out, look out!

The Pack - King of Kings

15. What will you find inside Bob's adequate box?

Bob'S ADEquate box.

Sade - Your Love Is King

14. Eureka! Reno is where you'll find the solution.

EureKA REN O

Karen O - King

13. Hi-didly-ho, Glenn & Roger!

"Hi-didly-ho," is what Ned Flanders might say to Glenn & Roger Miller.

Ned Miller - From A Jack To A King

12. Brendan, all a muddle.

"Brendan" is an anagram.

Dan Bern - King of the World

11. Candy, Denver, Legend.

The Three Johns - King Car

10. Maybe she's caught a chill.

She looks a bit shivery to me.

Shivaree - Cannibal King

9. Michael Holliday had something similar.

Michael Holliday sang about the Story Of My Life.

My Life Story - The King Of Kissingdom

8. A big hit out of Radio Nowhere.

RaDIO Nowhere

Dion - King of the New York Streets

7. Tips for colouring.

Felt Tips are good for colouring.

Felt - Dismantled King is Off the Throne

6.  Anagram? Shh!

Graham Nash - I Used To Be A King

5. Sounds like Jack's aircrafts.

Jack White has quite a few planes by now, I'd imagine...

White Plains - When You Are A King

4. Thinly plot a mix up.

"Thinly plot" is an anagram.

Phil Lynott - King's Call

3. Where the Green Giant's son lives.

The Green Giant's son was called Sprout. He was like the Scrappy Doo of sweetcorn adverts.

I understand he lived in a prefab.

Prefab Sprout - The King of Rock n Roll

2. Something that gets passed down in the family.

Genes are hereditary.

Gene - We Could Be Kings

1. He tolls to conquer.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for William the Conqueror...

William Bell - A Tribute To A King

Just ten Snapshots for you next Saturday morning. I do like to get out of the house occasionally.

Conversations With Ben #20: M&S or S&M?

Ben: Are they threatening me?

Rol: I'm more interested to know what X Bite is. Some weird S&M shit?

Boardgame website.

Can't have M&Ms, they're not vegan.

We bought a car yesterday.

Just a little nipper run around.

It's a Chevy.

Now I need to work out what the levy is and how to push it there.

Wrong answers only, please.

Wasn't he the lead singer of the Four Tops?

Billy Bragg made him cry.

We're currently calling it Eugene.

After this...?

Although it's more likely you named it after Sufjan or Kevin... or maybe the Beastie Boys.

Eugene Levy... Chevy!

Is it a...?

No.

Hang on, here's a Top Ten...

10. Alabama Shakes - Heavy Chevy

9. The Beat Farmers - Blue Chevrolet

8. The Barracudas - Chevy Baby

7. Deer Tick - Chevy Express

6. Foghat - Chevrolet

5. Patrick Gammon - Yo Chevy

4. ZZ Top - Chevrolet

3. Mickey Jupp - Chevrolet

2. Sammy Johns - Chevy Van

1. The Mountain Goats - New Chevrolet In Flames

I hope it's not that last one.

I'm fully aware you won't listen to any of those, but it kept me entertained for an hour or so.

They all came from my music library. I could have put Chevy into a streaming service and come up with a hundred more, but that would have been fake.

They are all phenomenal actually

I will make a CD with them on for it.

Once I get a CD recorder.

Or a CD drive for a laptop.

There's no need to be sarcastic.

I wasn't.

I genuinely appreciated them.

One more then...

I think you should go into work on your last day dressed in Fubu, pretending that that's who you were all along.

I had to google Fubu.

For Us By Us.

I thought it was like Fubar

Or Snafu.

Or just another one of your S&M things.

I only get my bits from M&S, not the full shop.

Have you been tested for dyslexia?

Yes. By the Marquis de Sade. (M de S.) It was a pretty grueling test.

I'm concerned about the company you're keeping.

You stay away from that boy, he's a bad influence.

I thought he was a Smooth Operator.

Did you have a special meal as a celebration for leaving the job?

Or just jam sandwiches?

That's how I picture all your meals.

Maybe the odd ham salad sandwich.

But mainly jam sandwiches and a coffee.

Breakfast, it's jam on toast.

Lunch: jam sandwiches.

Tea: confiture en croute.

I don't like jam sandwiches. I prefer my jam on scones.

So, jam on toast. Ham salad sandwich, scone for tea.

Clotted cream only at weekend.

Or Friday nights.

I eat blueberries too.

I like real blueberries. I prefer rhubarb jam.

As long as we agree quince is the king of jams.

It would be Top 5.

We stopped at a Farm Shop the other day. They're normally a good source of interesting jams. All they had was Strawberry and Raspberry. I burnt the place to the ground.

I'd leave them a two star review on Google.

Because you're a millennial. We did things properly in Gen X.

Joined the NF?

Yes! The New Frontier...

Would you consider this a Large Americano?

Small.

Regular at a push.

I'd finish that and then take the cup to the counter and say you're ready for the other half of your large coffee.

 It was a thimble.

Surely that's a war crime.

Luckily. I carry my matches with me at all times.

I'd get the UN involved.

I prefer to keep my protests apolitical.

Boutros Boutros-Ghali would be furious at that comment.

I call him Al. He always chuckles at that.

I said Boutros Boutros-Ghali... not Chevy Chase.

I know they sound the same.

It's pronounced Gar Lee. Not Gull Lee.

Al-Boutros!

Jesus. Do I have to spell it out for you?

Well, I spelt it correctly.

Again, have you ever been tested for dyslexia?

Saturday Snapshots #168 - The Answers

  

Supreme answers to follow...

10. Burn the mad planet: legendary king or loveable loser?

Arthur was a legendary king, Charlie Brown a loveable loser.

The Crazy World of Arthur Brown - Fire

9. Redneck kiddies in a neverending convoy.

"Redneck kiddies" is an anagram.

Eddie Kendricks - Keep On Truckin' (Part 1)

8. Sounds like Tom's hairdresser girl, in very basic attire.

Tom's hairdresser would be Delilah (look what she did to Samson!)

Plain White T's - Hey There, Delilah

7. Shades of talcum, nearly.

"Talcum, nearly" is an anagram.

Shades are sunglasses.

Tracey Ullman - Sunglasses

6. Making suits for the California Highway Patrol leaves him flawlessly misanthropic. 

Someone who made suits for the California Highway Patrol would be a CHiP tailor.

Chip Taylor - Fuck All The Perfect People

5. Depressed ecstasy on silky switchboard.

Depressed Ecstacy? Sad E!

Sade - Smooth Operator

4. Ah, grinned KGB, on US quiz show.

"Ah, grinned KGB" is another anagram.

The Greg Kihn Band - Jeopardy

3. Shaft at the beginning of next Friday leads to nefarious pastime. 

Shaft was Isaac Hayes. The beginning of next Friday is Christmas Day.

Chris Isaak - Wicked Game

2. Millennial hipster does V origami in the cellar. (That clue will probably only work for regular readers of this blog.)

Regular readers will know of my millennial hipster friend Ben (of whom, more next year).

Origami involves folding paper. V is 5.

This was slightly more difficult than it should have been as Ben is the one on the right, not in the middle.

Ben Folds Five - Underground

1. Chic, young, call waiting.

Chic Young was the creator of the comic strip Blondie.

Not the most dignified picture, but you try finding a photo of Debbie Harry that doesn't immediately look like Debbie Harry.

Next week may well be the last Saturday Snapshots... in its current format, anyway.