Emergency Questions #2: Stroke My Hair

Another conversation starter culled from Richard Herring's book Emergency Questions... and some songs I loosely linked to it.

18. Which celebrity would you like to stroke your hair as you die?

I think my go-to answer for this would usually be Kate Winslet. She has long been my celebrity crush, and the older she gets, the more I respect her attitudes to celebrity and being herself on screen. 

Big Star - Stroke It, Noel

Billy Squier - The Stroke

Fat Harry White - My Baby Stroked My Beard

To be honest though, I'm not sure I'd want Kate - or any other celebrity, for that matter - running her fingers through my hair. Especially if I was on my death bed. I mean, it's a bit late now, isn't it, love?

Ben Folds Five - Kate

Maybe it'd be better to choose a celebrity who can calm me down in my final moments, rather than getting my heart rate up or leaving me feeling frustrated over lost opportunities. 

So I did a quick google search on "Who is the most caring celebrity?" and the answers the AI generated included...

Oprah Winfrey

Dolly Parton

Beyoncé

Keanu Reeves

And do you know what? Of those guys, I think I'd choose Keanu. I feel like he'd be the one most likely to make me feel zen about my last moments on earth. 

The Felice Brothers - Black Is My True Love's Hair

Eleanor Friedberger - Cathy With The Curly Hair

Professor Longhair - She Ain't Got No Hair

The Tokens - She Lets Her Hair Down

Prince - She's Always In My Hair

Melba Montgomery & George Jones - You Comb Her Hair

The biggest problem I have with this question is that I don't really like anybody touching my hair. Not because I'm precious about how it looks (I couldn't give a monkeys)... it's just: PERSONAL SPACE, DUDE! Still, I'm sure Keanu would respect that...

My Top Ten Lion Songs

10. Baddiel & Skinner & The Lightning Seeds - Three Lions

I like the Lightning Seeds. I like David Baddiel (though I always preferred Rob Newman). I even like Frank Skinner.

Football, though? Pfff.

9. PAPA - I Am The Lion King

It was this, or Circle Of Life. Hakuna matata, baby.

8. Lloyd Cole - To The Lions

Lloyd loses his job, his girl and his dignity (to a mean bartender) all in the same week.

You could send me to the lions tonight

7. First Aid Kit - The Lion's Roar

Great new band from Sweden, though if you close your eyes you'd think they were from the backwoods of the USA alongside Fleet Foxes and Bon Iver.

And the lion's roar, the lion's roar
Is something that I have heard before
A children's tale, the lonesome wail of a lion's roar

6. The Tokens - The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Of course, you may prefer the Tight Fit version.

Or even the R.E.M. one. (That's my favourite.)

5. Kate Bush - Oh England, My Lionheart

Sadly, those rumours of Kate performing live for the first time in 30+ years at the Olympics closing ceremony proved to be just that. Then again, considering the standard of the performances that night, it was probably for the best.

Oh! England, my Lionheart!
Peter Pan steals the kids in Kensington Park.
You read me Shakespeare on the rolling Thames
That old river poet that never, ever ends.
Our thumping hearts hold the ravens in
And keep the tower from tumbling.

4. Dry The River - Lion's Den

One of my favourite new bands of 2012. They're a little bit Elbow, but if you're going to wear your influences on your sleeve there are far worse...

This song is about a lonely tax collector who finds love. It sounds far sweeter than that description would have you believe.

3. Bob Marley & The Wailers - Iron Lion Zion

I'm on the run but I ain't got no gun

2. Mumford & Sons - Little Lion Man

The first Mumford song I ever heard and still my favourite. Not just for the wonderfully sweary chorus. It's become very fashionable of late to hate on the Mumfs, as usually happens when a band makes it big. Whatever their second album brings, I'll always love this song.

1. Billy Bragg - Life With The Lions

If "I hate the arsehole I become every time I'm with you" isn't one of the greatest opening lines ever, I don't know what is.



Many Lion Songs were left to slumber in the savannah sunshine during the compilation of this Top Ten. Did I exclude one of your favourites?