Snapshots #431: Songs About The Person In Charge

Here’s the man in charge… erm…

The man with the answers… erm…

Still, preferable to his inevitable replacement. Is that really the best we can say about him?

Here are some songs about the person at the top…

15. Born in 1986?

UB40 - King

14. Don’t worry, they’re harmanless.

Dave Harman, aka Dave Dee, had left at this point.

Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Titch – Mr. President

13. Princess Grace only wants to help you… NOT ME!

Princess Grace Kelly only wants to help you, Roland.

Kelly Rowland - Commander

12. See you, Underground Lou.

See you, Jimmy… and Lou Reed.

Jimmy Reed - Big Boss Man

11. The Ashes.

After The Fire - Der Kommissar

10. Her omelettes are really well scrambled.

“Her omelettes” was an anagram.

The Tremeloes - (Call Me) Number One

9. A pretty regular bunch.

Regular as clockwork.

The Clockworks - Can I Speak To A Manager?

8. Billion year old carbon.

“We are stardust…”

Joni Mitchell – Edith & The Kingpin

7. Scholarly hippy.

Professor Longhair - Big Chief

6. X2.

Double - The Captain Of Her Heart

5. Torturous firework.

Catherine Wheel - Here Comes the Fat Controller

4. 3.14, at the beginning of the afternoon.

3.14, as any Maths teacher will tell you, is π represented as three digits. The beginning of the afternoon is af. So Pi+af=

Edith Piaf - Milord

3. Older now, and with fewer brothers in rhythm. 

There’s only two of them left to pass the dutchie these days…

Musical Youth - Generals

2. Good for halting rashes, if properly blended.

“Halting rashes” was an anagram of…

The Shangri-Las - Leader Of The Pack

I love that video. The Leader of the Pack looks like a middle-aged bus-driver.

1. What Not To Wear.

Depeche Mode, as I’m sure you all know, means Fashion News or Fashion Despatch. Hence…

Depeche Mode – Master & Servant

I’ll be back in charge of this twaddle next Saturday morning.

Emergency Questions #2: Stroke My Hair

Another conversation starter culled from Richard Herring's book Emergency Questions... and some songs I loosely linked to it.

18. Which celebrity would you like to stroke your hair as you die?

I think my go-to answer for this would usually be Kate Winslet. She has long been my celebrity crush, and the older she gets, the more I respect her attitudes to celebrity and being herself on screen. 

Big Star - Stroke It, Noel

Billy Squier - The Stroke

Fat Harry White - My Baby Stroked My Beard

To be honest though, I'm not sure I'd want Kate - or any other celebrity, for that matter - running her fingers through my hair. Especially if I was on my death bed. I mean, it's a bit late now, isn't it, love?

Ben Folds Five - Kate

Maybe it'd be better to choose a celebrity who can calm me down in my final moments, rather than getting my heart rate up or leaving me feeling frustrated over lost opportunities. 

So I did a quick google search on "Who is the most caring celebrity?" and the answers the AI generated included...

Oprah Winfrey

Dolly Parton

Beyoncé

Keanu Reeves

And do you know what? Of those guys, I think I'd choose Keanu. I feel like he'd be the one most likely to make me feel zen about my last moments on earth. 

The Felice Brothers - Black Is My True Love's Hair

Eleanor Friedberger - Cathy With The Curly Hair

Professor Longhair - She Ain't Got No Hair

The Tokens - She Lets Her Hair Down

Prince - She's Always In My Hair

Melba Montgomery & George Jones - You Comb Her Hair

The biggest problem I have with this question is that I don't really like anybody touching my hair. Not because I'm precious about how it looks (I couldn't give a monkeys)... it's just: PERSONAL SPACE, DUDE! Still, I'm sure Keanu would respect that...