TV On The Radio #10: Last Of The Summer Wine

This weekend was the 50th anniversary of Last of the Summer Wine, a sitcom about a bunch of ridiculous Yorkshire pensioners that ran for a total of 31 series before it breathed its last in 2010. I know this because I live in Holmfirth, the village (although it calls itself a town, it's not a town really) in which the show was set, a village which has thrived on LOTSW tourism for half a century. On Saturday, while Sam and I were trying to do our shopping, we had to navigate coach loads of fans (most of them now older than the show's characters) and cosplayers... yes, there were people wandering around dressed as Compo, Foggy, Clegg and Nora Batty. It was, as always, a right pain in the arse.

I watched the show as a kid, because it was just what you did round here. The main appeal was in working out where the location shots were filmed... increasingly, as the years went by, they weren't filmed in Holmfirth at all, but in surrounding villages such as Meltham, Honley, Marsden and Slawit (Slaithwaite) which is where I grew up. The show outlived most of its original cast: Michael Bates, who played Cyril Blamire in the original series, died in 1978. He was replaced by Brian Wilde as Foggy, who stayed with the show, on and off, till the mid-90s. Compo, who gave his name to the local Fish & Chip shop, was the show's main character until actor Bill Owen's death in 1999, after which he was replaced by his son, Tom. Of the originals, only the great Peter Sallis, the voice of Wallace & Gromit, outlived the show, though he was reduced to a sit down role by the final series, replaced in the "action" sequences by younger comedy actors such as Russ Abbott and Burt Kwouk. The show became an old folk's home for British thespians, with Brian Murphy, Frank Thornton, Thora Hird and Jean 'Hilda Ogden' Alexander joining the ranks over the years. Though I bailed out in the late 80s, my mum kept watching it, and still enjoys the repeats on UK Gold (or whatever it's called these days). Summer Wine is a time capsule of a certain type of Yorkshire village and its inhabitants... ironically most of the people who live in Holmfirth these days are comers-in. Compo probably wouldn't be able to afford a house round here anymore. (I barely can.)

Although the phrase "Last of the Summer Wine" sounds like it could originate from a Keats poem, it was actually coined by the show's creator, Roy Clarke, as a metaphor for living out the dregs of one's life in fine style. With that in mind, anyone referring to LOTSW in song must be familiar with the show itself, right?

It's just you and Foucault and my bass guitar

And I've seen you walk on water

And you wash your feet with my hair and my tears

I loved you in the runs the last of the summer wine.

Shurk - Foucault (feat. Jolliff)

Your guess is as good as mine.

Where have you been, Sonny Jim?

Where have you been all this time?

Drinking the last of the summer wine

On the run in the sun

High on the rocks

West of the Cox 

EMF - West of the Cox

Well, that's just Unbelievable.

Last of The Summer Wine

First of the Christmas Sherry

I guess it's just

Same poison, different berries

Dr. BigF MC - Black Hasselhoff

The Hoff name-drop got that one in here. 

This, on the other hand, I actually like... and not just because it also mentions Spider-Man...

Enough time has passed now 

We look like the cast of the Last of the Summer Wine

Mainly because I love the rest of the lyric...

'Cause my friend

You are worth the extra petrol

You are worth the extra data

You are worth the lunch I can't afford

Oh dude I'm like this with all my friends but

Can I come over and platonically play with your hair?

Can I come over and platonically play with your hair?

Pickle Darling - 5am

Pickle Darling are from New Zealand. Which means they must watch Last of the Summer Wine there! Bizarre.

Now here's Dennis Waterman. Yes, that one.

You said your last "I love you"

Drank the last of my summer wine

Took your shadows from my wall, babe

Took everything I thought was mine

Dennis Waterman - Nothing At All

As far as I know, Dennis never appeared in LOTSW. But he should have done.

Now, you might be expecting me to close today with this one. (Or you might not. It's hardly a Top 40 smash.)

Palma Violets - Last of the Summer Wine

But no. I'm going to cheat a little. Any excuse to play Nancy and Lee...

Saturday Snapshots #99: The Answers

Turns out there are quite a lot of pictures on the internet featuring Debbie Harry holding a camera. Others have featured here before, but I can't believe it's taken me 99 weeks to find this one.

I think it was a draw this week between Alyson and Lynchie. I'm sure Lynchie will tell me if that's not the case. Thank you for playing, as always.


10. Dustbin wagon brings the fire extinguisher - with an arrogant chat-up line.

There used to be a kid at our school who was particularly scruffy, so everybody called him "Dennis" because that's what it said in the front of the dustbin wagons.

Water, man, that's what puts out fires.

Dennis Waterman - I Could Be So Good For You

I never tire of watching this video. Especially the bit when he uses his charms on the policewoman. Ah, different times.

Oh, by the way. He may have sung the theme tune, but he didn't write it.

9. Wild stallions on Ms. Sod.

Too easy.

The Osmonds - Crazy Horses

8. Anarchist hippy dream of Greasy Yorke.

Sandy was the heroine of Grease.

Thom is a son of Yorke.

Sandi Thom - I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair)

"I was born too late into a world that doesn't care..."

This song might not sound very cool to you, but the lyrics are more relevant than ever.

7. Neckline that goes well with socks. What new parents say to nursery.

V-neck, bobby socks.

Bobby Vee - Take Good Care Of My Baby

The vocal performance here is astonishing.

6. Beautiful chick.

Babybird - You're Gorgeous

5. Take a sad song and make it better - past time for tara.

The lyrics are from Hey Jude, written about this chap, apparently.

Julian Lennon - Too Late For Goodbyes

4. Cheers barman in our own country.

Woody was the barman in Cheers, obviously.

Woody Guthrie - This Land Is Your Land

3. Like 4; like Sinatra too (almost).

#4. Woody Guthrie, was a folksinger.

Sinatra was, of course, Frank.

That was a tough one. Congrats to Back From The Beach. I couldn't even find it on youtube, so I had to upload it myself.

Phranc - Folksinger

2. Downhill nun meets Fred Astaire.

Sister Sledge - He's The Greatest Dancer

1. Pop Sr. appalled by fly-tipping in the woods.

Still sends shivers down my spine, this song.



Next week: Saturday Snapshots #100. In case you couldn't work that out for yourself.

My Top Ten TV Theme Tunes (Vocals)

Compiling my Top Ten Instrumental TV Themes was a pretty easy job. Most of you agreed with at least some of them. Much harder has been the long hours of consideration I've given my Top Ten Sung TV Themes. It'll probably prove a far more divisive list too. But as with everything else on this blog, it's just one man's opinion, reflecting my age and youthful viewing habits, and I don't claim it to be worth any more than the cyberspace it's written on.

To make the job easier, I had to draw up a few rules...

1) Only original compositions were allowed, i.e. songs that were written and recorded specifically for the show. So I haven't allowed the theme to The Sopranos (Alabama 3) or The Wire (Tom Waits) or The Wonder Years (Joe Cocker) or True Detective (The Handsome Family) much as I might like the songs in question.

2) No kids' TV shows - I might save those for a separate list. The hardest thing of all was banning the Spider-Man theme tune from this list.

(Maybe I'll do a Top Ten for each of the above one day.)

I rejected the following memorable theme tunes because...

The Protectors : Avenues & Alleyways is a great Tony Christie romp, but it's absolutely the only thing I remember about this show... and then I discovered it was produced by Gerry Anderson, which I'm afraid was a mark against it. At least it didn't feature puppets.

Red Dwarf : Always makes me think of Landslide Of Love by Transvision Vamp.

M*A*S*H* Though I remember it as the sung version of Suicide is Painless, they only ever used the instrumental on TV.

Ditto Twin Peaks, which Julee Cruise only sang in the show, never on the opening credits.

All of which leaves me with this rather odd collection. A few of these I would count as great TV shows. The rest were nowhere near as good as their theme songs...


10. The Dukes of Hazzard (Waylon Jennings)

While many of my schoolmates were big fans of The Dukes of Hazzard, I never really got the appeal. You can't argue with a Waylon Jennings theme tune though, composed specially for the show.

9. Happy Days (Pratt & McClain)

Goodbye grey skies, hello blue... if ever there was a show that convinced us 50s America was as good as it got, Happy Days was it. Eyyyyyy!

The theme song had a rather convoluted history. Written by film & TV composers Gimble & Fox, it was originally recorded by session musician Jim Haas, although for the show's first two seasons the song was only used on the closing credits: Bill Haley's Rock Around The Clock was the opener. By the time I started watching the show regularly, Happy Days the song was all-encompassing. It was re-recorded and became a hit record for Pratt & McClain. Then Fonzie jumped over a shark on water skis and it was all over.

8. The Greatest American Hero (Joey Scarbury)



I vaguely remember watching this cheesy superhero action comedy on a Saturday morning when I was a kid, but even though I only saw a few episodes, the theme tune really stuck in my head. Up until compiling this post, I was under the mistaken belief that the song was composed and performed by John Sebastian of The Lovin' Spoonful, but it turns out it was actually written by A Team composer Mike Post (with lyrics by Stephen Geyer) and sung by Joey Scarbury.

(John Sebastian sang the theme to Welcome Back, Kotter... a great song, but I don't remember that show ever airing in the UK.)

7. Moonlighting (Al Jarreau)

I've written before about my deep love of Moonlighting, and how it led me to buy my first ever single. Al Jarreau's theme tune sounds very 80s soul now, but it's impossible for me to hear it without remembering my obsession.

At least they didn't use the Leo Sayer song...

6. It's Garry Shandling's Show (Bill Lynch)



Around the time of the late Garry Shandling's pre-Larry Sanders sitcom, I was really into postmodernism. I was a teenager. It was a phase. Anyway, I found much to appreciate about a sitcom character who knew he was in a TV show - knowledge he didn't share with his supporting cast. The theme tune reflected this perfectly...

"This is the theme to Garry's show, the opening theme to Garry's show, this is the music that you hear as you watch the credits..."

5. The Monkees (The Monkees)

The one that blurs the rules a little bit. Was it a pop song? Was it a hit record? Were they actually a group? Does it matter? The Monkees were brilliant.

4. Minder (Dennis Waterman)



"Write the theme tune, sing the theme tune..." What a true Renaissance Man was Dennis Waterman. Really though, if you want a theme tune to get you revved up for a big night out, it's hard to beat a good strong blast of "I could be so good for you!"

Of course, as previously discussed here, Dennis didn't actually write the theme tune. Never mind. He'll still love you like you want him to...

3. Monk (Randy Newman)



When I first heard this theme, I scoured the net for Randy Newman's original, convinced there must be a full length version out there to enjoy. Apparently not, 90 seconds is all you get.

People think I'm crazy, 'cause I worry all the time
If you paid attention, you'd be worried too
You better pay attention
Or this world we love so much might just kill you
I could be wrong now, but I don't think so
It's a jungle out there

Once upon a time, I almost convinced myself I was a cross between Adrian Monk and Gregory House (whose dull Massive Attack theme failed to make either list). Yes, I was 'Mouse'. But certainly not 'Hunk'.

Monk wasn't a big hit in the UK, but it lasted 8 series in the States and I watched them all, wherever the BBC buried it in the schedules. It was easygoing, feelgood TV at its best. Monk was a genius detective who nobody took seriously because he was seriously OCD - this was a high concept pitch (Sherlock Holmes meets Rain Man with a splash of Columbo) that hit gold through Tony Shalhoub's sensitive, layered performance. I still miss it. 

2. Cheers (Gary Portnoy & Judy Hart Angelo)



Cheers remains my all time favourite sitcom - because it was the bar where everybody knew your name. There's a theory that great British sitcoms involve situations no one would ever want to be in, and all the characters want to escape from - whereas great American sitcoms are exactly the opposite. Who wouldn't want a bar like Cheers at the end of their street? Anytime you liked, you could pop in for a cold one, share a friendly greeting with Woody, talk shit with Norm and Cliff, watch Sam hitting on some babe or squabbling with Diane or Rebecca, hear Frasier spouting his pompous opinions... and just feel welcome. "You wanna go where you can see troubles are all the same..." Don't you?

If you've never heard it before, here's the full-length version.

1. The Fall Guy (Lee Majors!)



I probably have more affection for The Fall Guy than is healthy. Is that down to Lee Majors and his sardonic eyebrow? Douglas 'Howie Munson' Barr and his unique brand of tree trunk acting? Heather Thomas, who stirred many a pre-adolescent boy in strange and unprecedented ways?

Or could it all come down to this song...?

Well I'm not the kind to kiss and tell

but I've been seen with Farrah.

I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine.

I've been on fire with Sally Field

gone fast with a girl named Bo.

But somehow they just don't end up as mine.

It's a death defying life I lead I take my chances.

I'd die for a living in the movies and TV.

But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leading ladies

kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee.

I might fall from a tall building 

I might role a brand new car.

'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman

who made Redford such a star.

I never spent much time in school but I taught ladies plenty.

It's true I hire my body out for pay. Hey Hey!

I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs

blown up for Raquel Welch.

But when I wind up hittin' the hay, it's only hay. Hey Hey! 

I might fall from a tall building

or Tarzan from a vine.

'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman

who made Eastwood look so fine.

Over to you guys. What did I miss?

Kenny Wednesday #4: All The Scandal & The Vice

4. Gerard Kenny - New York, New York

Despite the dodgy sweater and the fact that it's his surname, this week's Kenny is so good, I'll name him twice.

4. Gerard Kenny - New York, New York

I didn't know a lot about Gerard Kenny beyond his big 70's "hit" (well, it got to #43); however, he has been on my bucket list for a while. Yes, other middle-aged men have bucket lists that include skydiving into the Grand Canyon and getting stuck in an elevator with Gillian Anderson. My bucket list includes catching up on music by Gerard Kenny, Bert Jansch and The Staple Singers.

As previously established, I love a well-hammered keyboard... and Gerard even throws a broken window and a choral climax into this loving homage to his hometown (written after he'd moved to England). What's not to love?




On further investigation, I was delighted to learn Gerard wasn't a complete one "hit" wonder. He also wrote Barry Manilow's I Made It Through The Rain (as featured recently in My Top Ten Inspirational Songs, Volume 1) and... wait for it, wait for it...

He also wrote this:



Which kind of makes a mockery (if such a thing were possible) of that old Little Britain sketch where David 'Dennis Waterman' Walliams promises to "write the theme tune, sing the theme tune"... what a disappointment.

(Oh, and before you go, do yourself a favour and watch the video to I Could Be So Good For You. It is the best / worst thing you will see all week. It's good to have a nice, healthy cringe on a Wednesday.)