Positive Songs For Negative Times #26: Behind The Mask

So let me get this straight... NOW you want us to start wearing facemasks?

Not 3 or 4 months ago when all this kicked off?

NOW... when you're opening everything up again? NOW you've decided it's a good idea after all!?!

I have no problem with wearing a mask. As long as I can get one like the one at the top of this post. But do you know what I'd like more than a mask?

Someone in charge who has the first clue!



I've never been that much of an Eric Clapton fan, but I saw a bit of that documentary about him on BBC4 the other week and it made me like him a little bit more. Here's a not-too-shabby tune from the man himself that fits the bill today...

Saturday Snapshots #37 - The Answers

Always a good idea to take the lens cap off before you take a picture, Eric.

What a Strange Brew there was in this week's pile of Snapshots. Well done for guessing them - you all did Wonderful Tonight (well, yesterday morning). By my reckoning, it was a dead heat between Lynchie and Alyson this week, with 3 points each... though I'm tempted to award the tie-breaker to Lynchie for his amazing claim to fame at being the first journalist to ever write about The Sutherland Brothers & Quiver. (And that is why you ought to have your own blog, Lynchie.)


10. Rabbits in discount top hats for lil' Jeff and Bev.

Pulling a rabbit from a discount top hat would be a Cheap Trick.

Jeff Lynne & Bev Bevan were founding members of ELO.

Cheap Trick - ELO Kiddies

9. Aston Mastermind in a muddle over cold-blooded murder.

"Aston Mastermind" is an anagram of Stina Nordenstam. Yes, Martin, I've started doing anagrams now... but only when I can't think of any other clue!

Stina Nordenstam - Winter Killing

8. Kiefer, Angus and Rossif come over all wobbly when hugged by a Scottish queen.

Angus and Rossif are the brothers of Kiefer Sutherland.

If you come over all wobbly, you might quiver.

Mary Queen of Scots.

Sutherland Brothers & Quiver - Arms of Mary

7. It's going to be a fine day - not that the cantaloupes will see it.

A fine day will have no rain.

A non-seeing cantaloupe would be a Blind Melon.

Blind Melon - No Rain

6. A quiet explosion at the hairdressers.

A quiet explosion would go Shhh-boom!

The Crew Cuts - Sh-boom

5. Jacques gets wet at the end of summer.

Jacques Cousteau told many underwater adventures.

Cousteau - The Last Good Day of the Year

4. What a dunce cap has, in the castle of a conqueror, smashing an organ.

A dunce cap has a D on.

William the Conqueror built Warwick Castle (well, he told other people to build it).

Smashing an organ would make you a heartbreaker.

Dionne Warwick - Heartbreaker

3. An Idle God can't find his sunken ship - and he's looked literally EVERYWHERE.

Eric Clapton is known as "God" (only he knows why). He still can't remember to take his lens cap off before he takes a photo.

Eric Idle is just a very naughty boy... but if he'd lost his sunken ship, he would be wreck-less.

Wreckless Eric - Whole Wide World

2. Threes. A Carol for Carol?

Three is a magic number.

A carol is a hymn.

The Magic Numbers - Hymn For Her

1. Join the line to the backwards toilet, shouting for a raincoat.

A backwards toilet (WC) would be a CW.

If you were shouting for a raincoat, you might be giving your mac a call.

A line of vehicles is called a... go on, you can do the rest.



I Feel Free to do this all again next Saturday, if you'll join me...

My Top Ten Sally Songs

A good friend of mine (who shares my appreciation for fine music) celebrates a very special birthday today. In her honour... ten tunes that share her name.



10. Kerbdog - Sally

Top Irish grunge. Amusing video in which our eponymous heroine does everything she can to rid herself of the annoying band playing outside her flat... wrecking her own home in the process.

Frank Turner does a lovely acoustic cover.

9. Robert Palmer - Sneakin' Sally Through The Alley

Batley Bob gets caught out trying to make excuses for his dalliances with Sally... and for using that most obvious of rhymes in his title. (Gracie Fields has a lot to answer for.)

8. Eric Clapton - Lay Down, Sally

Every time I include an Eric Clapton song on this blog, I feel like I have to apologise for his infamous Enoch Powell rant, the one that labeled him a bigot in the eyes of many. Then again, if I excluded every musician who's ever spoken objectionable twaddle, there'd be far less variety round these parts... and Morrissey would have been banned a long time ago. (Still, Eric... really?)

Lay Down, Sally is a nice chugging guitar tune that probably would have placed higher if it wasn't for my aforementioned reservations.

7. Lou Reed - Sally Can't Dance

Look kids, drugs are bad... m'kay?

6. Father John Misty - This Is Sally Hatchet

A wonderful, Tarantino-esque tale from Father John, with a very Beatlesy groove. This Sally is a killer. You'll be extra careful when slicing up your pizza after watching the video.

5. Flight of the Conchords - Song For Sally

The Conchords are rarely better than when they're arguing over the same girl. Shame she's already engaged to Mark. Still, if he was involved in an accident and Sally got the life insurance money... not that it's about the money, honestly...

Jermaine:

And we'd fall asleep together
And we'd wake up in the sunlight
Well, maybe I'm a dreamer
But maybe one day you'll see
That dreams are-

Bret:

Yeah, yeah
She gets it
Stop cockblocking me!

4. Stone Roses - Sally Cinnamon

A Birdsy jangle from Brown & Squire. I'm never quite clear whether this particular Sally really is Ian's world... or whether he's just picking her pocket on the train.

3. Little Richard - Long Tall Sally

Classic rock 'n' roll song about grassing up your uncle 'cos he's cheating on poor old Aunt Mary with the eponymous tall, bald-headed lady who's not built for comfort, she's built for speed.

Some fun tonight.

2. Wilson Pickett - Mustang Sally

Due to a typo when making my shortlist in preparation for this Top Ten, I almost forgot this stone cold masterpiece completely. What a crime that would have been. The Wicked Pickett in all his soulful, screeching glory. Phew. That was a close one.

And the moral is: don't give a girl you fancy a new car just to get a free ride. Who knows who else she might take for a spin?

1. The Pogues - Sally MacLennane

Shane Macgowan's finest hour? The lyrics to Sally MacLennane are witty, joyous and wistfully nostalgic. It's the story of Jimmy, an old harmonica-playing pal who leaves town twice, the latter time never to return.

He soothed the souls of psychos and the men who had the horn

...has to be one of the greatest lines in the history of pop, surely?

It took me many years to discover that the titular Sally wasn't a lady at all but a pint of stout. But then, you'd expect nothing else from Shane.




So... which Sally is the pride of your alley?