June 12th is a a national holiday in Russia, commemorating the end of the Soviet Union back in 1990. And if that just makes you think of the WONDERFULNESS done since by that VERY NICE MAN Vladimir Putin then, GOOD FOR YOU.
(This post has been edited to stop the bots reporting me. I don't want to end up in a Siberian Salt Mine, thank you very much. I've got in enough trouble for slagging off Trump all the time.)
Remember what Sting told us - the Russians love their children too!
These are the sons and the daughters of parents who died in the last one
Do you think that they want to go through that again?
The destruction, the bloodshed, the suffering and pain
In the second world war, out of every three dead, one was Russian
If we try with all of our power
Can we not find a way to peacefully settle our difference?
Meanwhile, on the other side of the Cold War, it's a day to celebrate that strange visitor from another planet who became a symbol of truth, justice and the American Way. Except they don't say that anymore - in fact, about 15 years ago, Superman renounced his American citizenship and now represents "Truth, justice and a better tomorrow". Considering he's still an immigrant, it's a wonder the Tangerine Tosspot hasn't tried to have him deported. Or maybe he's worried the Man of Steel would move to Russia...?
Indeed. So it has. It came as no surprise that the group spearheading this revolution is Bauer Media – compared by many of my former radio colleagues to The Empire in Star Wars for the way they systematically swallowed up smaller radio stations that were delivering local content and then drained them of life, homogenising them to the point where they were identical to every other local station on the dial.
I’m not claiming to be any kind of clairvoyant, but back in the 90s I wrote a comic called The Jock about a society that was ruled by a corporation called YOURENT, a media company which controlled the population through bland identikit radio output that played only computer-generated mind-control muzak. The Jock and his small group of “rebel DJs” fought against YOURENT by playing the old songs / “real” music in the hopes of waking people up and reminding them of their lost freedom. But it was a losing battle…
It’s only a matter of time until more and more of our radio stations jettison human content altogether in favour of robots. Meanwhile, Paul McCartney, Kate Bush and Sam Fender are leading the fight against AI music… but I’m sure the record companies will be glad to see the back of those trouble-makers.
Does it matter if our traffic and travel bulletins are delivered by machines? Bauer Media reply:
“This development is a natural evolution of our long-standing services. Bulletins are generated through INRIX’s traffic intelligence and automation systems, with delivery informed by the tone and style of our experienced broadcast journalists to ensure continuity and familiarity for listeners.”
“The result provides clear, consistent and recognisable traffic updates, delivered faster than ever before and opening the door to even more precise and personalised information in the future.”
They might just as well have said, “This development is a natural evolution of our long-standing commitment to maximising profits.”
Putting aside the loss of human jobs, radio is also losing all its humanity. I stopped wanting to be a radio presenter the day I realised a lot of radio bosses were no longer interested in personality, innovation, creativity or humour. When they started timing DJ links, restricting the number of times a presenter could speak within an hour, scripting the output to remove any potential for spontaneity or wit. “It’s only a travel bulletin,” you might well reply. But I’ve enjoyed many a travel bulletin delivered by human beings in the past, when presenters and journalists have been allowed to chat to each other like real people. I’m thinking of Sally Traffic on Radio 2, or Terry Wogan’s hilarious Janet & John stories, inspired by newsreader John Marsh.
Will there come a day when we can no longer hear a human voice on our radios? I asked the AI-Gods. Here’s what they told me…
It is highly unlikely that radio stations will soon use only AI voices. Instead, the industry is moving towards a hybrid model where AI voices handle repetitive tasks and behind-the-scenes production, while human hosts remain crucial for live interaction, genuine emotional connection, and creative, unscripted content.
How much do you bet the AI Overlords stole that bit from an article written by a human? In other words, they’re just telling us what we want to hear.
Despite the technological advancements, the "human touch" remains a cornerstone of successful radio broadcasting:
Spontaneity and Improvisation: AI is not yet capable of the seamless, real-time banter, empathy, and improvisation that define live radio, especially during breaking news or call-in shows.
Building Community and Trust: A host's ability to share personal anecdotes, build a genuine connection with listeners, and show empathy during local tragedies is a fundamentally human skill that AI cannot replicate.
Cannot yet?
Audience Preference: Listeners are generally more accepting of AI for informational content but prefer a human voice for personality-driven shows. Transparency about the use of AI is also crucial for maintaining audience trust.
If human beings trust Donald Trump enough to elect him to the White House twice, then I’m sure we can grow to trust SKYNET and its Terminators in no time at all.
The use of AI in radio also raises ethical considerations regarding job displacement and the need for transparency. Industry experts and professional bodies are emphasizing the need for clear guidelines and the upskilling of the workforce to manage the new roles that AI creates, such as AI Voice Managers and prompt engineers.
What do you want to be when you grow up, Timmy? A DJ?
No chance. How about training to be an AI Voice Manager instead?
In conclusion, while AI is fundamentally changing how radio content is produced, it is seen as a powerful tool to augment, not completely replace, human hosts. The future of radio is a collaboration between human creativity and AI efficiency.
There's a new Superman film out this weekend... and although I haven't seen it yet, I can confidently predict it will be better than the last few, because Zack Snyder isn't involved. Maybe not quite up to Christopher Reeve's standards, but miracles don't happen that often.
Anyway, here are some Super Songs to celebrate...
15. UN diary reveals they're all a bunch of squares.
Back to Richard Herring's Emergency Questions, and this week we're asking for your darkest confessions...
Have you ever had the opportunity to assassinate a public figure?
Now clearly there are a lot of people in this world right now who might want to assassinate a certain orange demagogue... although I'm sure most of us realise that doing so would only make a martyr of him, and that's the last thing anyone wants. Better to let such people die on their own swords, methinks.
I also feel I should clarify that I don't condone murder, even the murder of complete tosspots, and I'm sure none of the good folk who waste precious minutes reading this guff once or twice a week condone it either. Still, there are, I'm sure, some people out there in the world who you definitely feel would be deserving of a good slap. So have you ever been in a position to administer such an admonishment... and had to hold yourself back?
The first came back in the late 90s when I had the misfortune of going to see Oasis at Sheffield Arena. Now It's no secret that I am not, nor have I ever been, a fan of the Gallagher brothers and their brand of plodding, humourless, psuedo-Beatles Brit-rock. With that in mind, you may well wonder how I ended up at one of their gigs? All I can tell you is that this was during my radio days, the tickets were free, and my mate was a much bigger fan of the Brothers Dim, so I was persuaded that it might be a good ticket to have in my scrapbook. A couple of years earlier, when the lads were just starting out, that might well have been true. However, this was the Be Here Now tour, and all I can remember of that travesty was that they had a red phone booth on the stage. (A little research reveals that even Noel Gallagher now admits Be Here Now was a bag of shite. Whereas Liam says it's his favourite album. Make of that what you will.)
The support act that day were Travis. Now I know what most of you think of Travis, but let me tell you this: They blew the Swaggerlers off the stage. I can't have been the only one in the audience who thought so. In fact, Liam Gallagher himself even came out to watch them... and herein lies my tale.
We had pretty good seats in the arena. Front row, just above the tunnel. There were no seats below us, that area was fenced off for the sound guys. And that's where Liam came to watch Travis. He walked out directly beneath us, stood by the sound desk for a few songs, then mooched back into the tunnel. And this would have been my moment. At the time, I confess (and it's not a particularly nice confession), I briefly considered spitting on his head. It's lucky I didn't have a brick at hand. I mean, imagine if I had... I might have denied the world that Beady Eye record. It doesn't bear thinking about...
Comedy is a very subjective thing. What I might do a LOL at, you might roll your eyes and breathe a deep sigh. And vice versa. With that in mind, I take on board the idea that some of you might consider the comedian Michael McIntyre worthy of the space he takes up on this earth. I certainly do not.
That aside, the one trait I find off-putting in celebrities and commoners alike is arrogance. Hence my disdain for Frank & Betty Gallagher, and the intense irritation I feel whenever I see Michael McIntyre's smug mug on the TV. Imagine then, coming across that detestable countenance in real life. The horror!
Such a thing occurred the last time Louise and I visited That London. This might have been about 15 years ago. We were staying in the leafy borough of Hampstead, and one day were were mooching around the shops when we heard a loud, braying voice in the street behind us. A voice that chilled our blood.
There he was, the so-called "funny" man himself, large as life, peacocking down the road with his mobile phone pressed to his ear, talking loudly to his agent (or some other amenable sycophant), loud enough so that everyone could hear, so that everyone would look, so that nobody could fail to notice that they were in the presence of "greatness".
I'm not a violent man. I've never thrown a punch in my life. But it's no exaggeration to say that Louise had to physically restrain me that day. McIntyre got off lightly.
Thank God I've never been in the same room as Bono. I'd be serving ten to life right now. Either that, or somebody would have given me a medal. Maybe both.
I took Sam Trick or Treating last Thursday. It's not something I derive a whole lot of enjoyment from - "we never had all this malarkey when I was a kid", etc. etc. This time was a little different though, partly because (for once) it wasn't raining, but mostly because of the performance of the above couple, who went above and beyond in their dedication to All Hallow's Eve.
The man was dressed in a labcoat, smeared with blood, crouched over a mocked up corpse that was laid out on his drive, "eating its entrails". When unwary Trick or Treaters approached the house for sweets, he staggered out into the street moaning like an extra from The Walking Dead. Some kids screamed and ran away from him, but he kept up the act until his wife (dressed in a "Zombie Killer" T-shirt) shouted at him to "get back over and clean up your mess". To which he complied. They were both firmly in character and I've seen a lot of zombie movies with far worse acting.
Made my Halloween, so it did.
I did a Top Ten Zombie Songs way back in 2012. But here are a few more, not included on that list.
There was only one song I could close with today - the one that makes me ponder the biggest questions of all, such as, "Well, how did I get here?", "Am I right, am I wrong?", "My God, what have I done?" and most importantly of all... why is there water at the bottom of the ocean?
I did an online test via Psychology Today to see just how angry I am - and here are the results...
You may have problems managing your anger
Your score indicates that you likely struggle to recognize triggers, calm down, communicate with others, and process your emotions in a healthy way; your anger may sometimes turn into aggression.
Well, I mean, I guess that's not telling me anything I didn't already know... but it's still scary to see it written down. (I thought I'd been quite moderate in my responses too.)
Still, my overall score was 71 out of 100, which means I'm just dipping a toe into You may have problems managing your angerand I've only just risen above Could do better. I'm not sure that's cause for huge celebration (especially as I took care to moderate my responses) but you know me - I'm a glass half full kind of guy...
Oh, but the boffins at Psych Today weren't finished yet. They had advice too - lots of it!
It’s important to learn how to manage anger, because continual anger, and the stress hormones that accompany it, can harm your physical health. Unmitigated anger can also lead to problems in one’s career, finances, and relationships.
This started me wondering just how my physical health might be affected, and I realised the main thing is: I'm knackered. Partly that's the long commute and the hectic business of being a parent and a home-owner... but could it be related to my anger as well?
Yes, according to a report I found by some more boffins, this time from Kent State University...
Too much adrenaline can exhaust the capacity of the brain to manage stress. Fatigue, illness, and chronic pain can follow.
What else did the Psych Today computer have to tell me?
Anger or aggression plays a role in several mental health disorders, such as intermittent explosive disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorder, and borderline personality disorder. It may also be involved in manic episodes, ADHD, and narcissism.
Well, I've ruled out the last three, but the rest are distinct possibilities. I like the sound of Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Isn't that just refusing to be part of the crowd?
Certain personality traits are linked to the tendency to become angry, research suggests. These include high neuroticism and low agreeableness.
✔️✔️
Anger tends to result from a combination of three factors: the trigger event, the personality of the individual, and the individual's appraisal of the situation.
This is the kind of sentence that makes me just go: No shit, Sherlock.
Anger can be directed outward or inward. Anger expressed outwardly may take the form of yelling, meanness, or physical aggression. Anger expressed inwardly may take the form of suppression, withdrawal, and self-criticism.
So I'm mostly an inwardly angry person, unless I'm confronted by an Audi driver.
There's a house near where Sam's Nanna lives that has a huge wooden sculpture of a giraffe in the garden, peeping over the hedge at passing motorists. We were over there the other day, and were pleased to see the giraffe is observing the correct protocols for the current times. It's wearing a mask. (Click on the pic to see it properly.)
Here's a great song about a giraffe from the Flaming Lips. It's notable for a couple of reasons. The video is directed by Sofia Coppola (Wayne Coyne looks so young!) and the CD single was shaped like this...
Yes, I could have chosen the logo of Twenty One Pilots to illustrate this post, but I don't think they ever recorded a song as good as this. Feel free to disabuse me of that notion should you wish. Jim In Dubai also suggested another 12 group...
Personally though, The Swede concludes, I'd like to suggest Twenty One by The Apartments. What a truly wonderful band they are.
That is very nice, I have to admit it. Doesn't exist in my own record collection (yet), which is the one stipulation to be a winner on this series. But I definitely have to investigate it further.
Where's Lynchie? Putting all his eggs in one basket this week, it seems...
And... of course... this, which was our opening suggestion this week, from Charity Chic, who almost begged... The Adverts - No Time to Be 21, please, Rol.
C seconded that too, and, well... why not?
Life's short, don't make a mess of it To the ends of the earth, you'll look for a sense in it No chances, no plans I'll smash the windows of my box I'll be a madman It's no time to be 21 To be anyone
To be honest, even though I'm not particularly enjoying 47... I don't think I'd fancy being 21 again. Would you?
And so we finally reach the Top 20. On your marks... get set...
Welcome back. You know the drill. Songs with 22 in it. Remember that the Lime Green Rule now applies. Titles only, no more lyrical mentions. Unless I really, really like them.
Martin was first up this week, with a right old list...
No, you should have stopped before you got to Sting. As should Shaggy.
Hang on, though, here's Rigid Digit to second your suggestion - with added info...
...the second song of the "Charlotte Saga" (Charlotte The Harlot / 22 Acacia Avenue / Hooks In You / From Here To Eternity). The first two are Charlotte songs, the last two are a bit tenuous but still considered part of the ongoing story.
Fair enough. If we're going metal this week... here's my contribution.
But the real pick of the lot would be my Can-Con contribution ("Canadian Content", for those outside my home country, a term coined decades ago by government regulators of our airwaves to protect our ears from over-Americanization). How about the obscure and experimental b-side by Martha and the Muffins called "22 in Cincinnati"? Very moody, that one.
That's just weird. Is that a purring cat in the middle? (Amazingly Jim in Dubai seconded that rather obscure choice.) Still, we like weird here. That's why we keep The Swede around. Here he is with this week's even weirder selections...
'Room Twenty Two', a dubwise selection from the marvellous 'Black Market Meets Mired & Wise Owl in the Twilight Zone'.
Oh, and if we're getting lax about the Lime Green Rule now, what about the iconic opening lines of Billy Bragg's "A New England". A Classic, that one, though I suspect Billy's a bit older than 22 now.
It's worth pointing out that Billy Bragg is the easy way round most rules and regulations, lime green or otherwise.
The irony, of course, is that as of last week, we do have a new England (and Scotland, Wales & Northern Ireland). Sadly, not the one Billy wanted though.
Of course, if we're playing that, we also have to play this...
"We're going out tonight - out and about tonight..."
Yes, I actually went out on a Saturday night... whatever makes her happy, as Brett sang. So all I expected to provide you with this Sunday morning were the pre-prepared answers, no scores. Then you only went and hoovered up all the points in a three horse race that took under an hour - a record! Congrats to Rigid Digit, Martin and Lynchie... who just pipped the other two to the trophy by one point. Thanks also to Chris for mopping up the stray half point a bit later.
Commiserations to Brian, who stayed out late with the hope of sweeping in to get an early victory. Hope you had a nice night out before that, Brian!
Answers then...
10. In the days before mobile phones, these neanderthals ruled the airwaves.
Pretty self-explanatory, this one... if you remember it.
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