7. After leaving Eastenders, Susan set up a shop for people who like to make things.
Susan Tully was in Eastenders (after being in Grange Hill, of course). I doubt Brian would get that clue, but I imagine he might recognise the picture.
I’m letting someone else do the hard work again in this
feature. Here’s JC, The Vinyl Villain…
Once again, you've posted something that gets me thinking!
Maybe there is something real about 'grumpy old gits' in
that the older we get, there seems to be fewer things we find to laugh about.
Or is it just that what constitutes a sense of humour changes and evolves
through life? I certainly 'don't get' a lot of what makes the younger
generation(s) LOL these days, but then again, my parents 'didn't get' the
political humour of the 80s that had me roaring with laughter.
I think one of the things about humour in songs is that all
too often the music itself is not all that enjoyable... (the song you've posted
[in my first post] being an example!!). It takes a real talent to be equally
funny and musical.
JC hits the nail on the head here… because musical taste is
such a subjective thing, once you try to add humour into the mix, it’s like
trying to throw a dart and hit two separate bullseyes at the same time.First you have to please the musical taste
part of our brains, secondly you have to tickle our even more subjective funny
bones. All in the same song. The intersection of that particular Venn diagram
will often be very small, and it’ll be a different intersection for every
listener. No wonder so few artists consciously go down the “funny songs” route…
the whole thing’s a minefield.
I know that the way I appreciate music is very different to
a lot of people. That’s down to my writer / English teacher brain. Well written
lyrics will always win me over to a tune, regardless of genre. It’s no secret
that I’m not the biggest fan of post-1987 dance music, for example. And maybe
the biggest reason for that is that words aren’t really seen as important on
the dancefloor. Yet when the words are given some consideration, dance music
becomes a lot more interesting to my brain…
All of which brings me back to JC’s nominated band, Flight
of the Conchords, with their amazing ability – as JC puts it – “to be equally
funny and musical”. What’s incredible about the work of Bret McKenzie and
Jemaine Clement is that they’re not just very funny guys… they’re also
extremely talented musicians and songwriters, capable of mastering any genre
they turn their hand to… and making it look easy.
I have a question though - for those of you who approach
music via sounds first, rather than words – for those of you whose specific
musical tastes are tied to genres and won’t be interested if it’s a musical
style you just don’t dig… do you prefer the FoC songs which focus on one of
your favoured genres? The fact that JC chose the Bowie song as his example made
me wonder this. Everyone in our little group loves Bowie – and if there’s
anyone reading this blog who’s not a Bowie fan, don’t be afraid to speak up - so
that’s the perfect synergy of sound and satire, music and merriment. Do the
songs above which venture into ungainly genres still work for you? Or does the humour
win you over… in the same way that the lyrics in my “dance music” choices make
those tracks work for me?
Here's my favourite Flight of the Conchords tune… and I’m
not even sure what genre it is.
Those Naughty Lumps were to be found hanging around Liverpool street corners as the 1970s became the 1980s. They liked visiting the local zoo and eating ice cream.
I clearly remember the first time I walked into a classroom as a trainee teacher. It was an adult Functional Skills English workshop, and all the students were quietly getting on with a variety of tasks in groups. It wasn't at all what I'd expected, and when the teacher I'd come to shadow said to me, "just go round the groups and see if anyone needs any help", I was suddenly terrified.
Just... walk up to complete strangers who didn't know me from Adam - many of whom were older than me, and of a variety of different ethnicities - introduce myself and offer them help? I'd prepared myself for standing at the front of a class and delivering a lesson to a group of teenagers. I had lots of experience in performance and presentation and making myself heard or noticed... but a quiet, casual chat with a gentle offer of assistance to grown-ups... that was well outside my comfort zone.
Those of you who have been following this series from the start will know that we've identified the main culprit of our stress, anxiety and other mental health concerns... the amygdala or monkey brain. To recap...
Whenever the amygdala senses any kind of threat – from a bus about to run us over in the street to somebody gossiping about us behind our back in the office – it sets off our spider-sense, various hormonal and neurological warning signals that in turn cause us to feel the symptoms of stress. These will vary depending on the individual and the situation, but they include all the old favourites – physical stuff such as increased heart rate, changes to breathing, hot or cold sweat, and mental reactions such as fear, anger and shame. Stress hormones basically prepare us to fight the threat or flee from the danger: fight or flight. But they often override our normal, logical human brain, and let our monkey brain take over.
The problem comes in the modern world, where the monkey brain finds it increasingly difficult to work out what's an actual threat to life... and what's merely a difficult problem to be overcome. So it looks to us for understanding... and we don't help ourselves by playing it safe.
In theory, any new experience contains danger. Meeting new people, starting a new job, going out on a first date, trying a new hobby or club... life would be so much easier if we just stuck with the stuff we know and are comfortable with. Anything new - well, we don't know how to deal with it or what problems we might encounter along the way. And that's scary.
Writing this particular blog series is a bit like that. Every time I sit down to do it, I'm forcing myself out of my comfort zone. I'm not really an expert on this subject, I'm just fumbling my way through. It would be so much easier when I open up my computer to just cobble together another edition of Saturday Snapshots or Namesakes. I know how to do those now. They might take time and research and a bit of head-scratching, but they're familiar and comforting and safe.
Or, I might put off writing the blog altogether and go watch some TV. Read a book (if only!). Watch some more music videos on youtube from bands I've never heard of.
New experience? !!Amygdala sends out warning signals!!
Result: I feel anxious.
Strategy? Play it safe.
Safety strategies are the things we all do to minimise risk or avoid tackling anything new. They include distracting ourselves with other (safe) activities or avoiding any situations that make us feel remotely uncomfortable.
However... whenever we do this, we tell the monkey that it was right - its perception of threat was bang on the money. As a result, it'll double its efforts to warn us about getting into that situation again.
If I stop writing this blog series because it's difficult and it makes me a little anxious, then next time I try, it'll be even harder.
If I avoid going out to a gig because there will be a lot of strange people there, and it'll be a late night, and I might not get home till after midnight... if I decide to stay at home instead and watch TV... then chances are, next time the opportunity arises, I probably won't even bother to buy tickets.
These are pretty mild examples, but I'm sure you can extrapolate them to cover more serious anxiety-causing situations in your own life. Playing it safe, avoiding problems or distracting ourselves from things that are worrying just confirms to our monkey brain that these things are threats to be avoided. It'll scream even louder next time.
Taken to an absolute extreme, this is where OCD comes from: you can't leave the house until you've completed these safety rituals. It's where alcohol and drug dependency starts: you feel less anxious when you have a drink. The monkey brain experts believe that even positive behaviour like exercise, meditation and structured relaxation techniques can be used as an escape strategy to help us avoid facing up to the things we fear... because when we do these things, we only confirm that the monkey was right to be afraid.
Back in the 90s, a former colleague of mine used to swear by a self-help book with that exact title... and I used to mock it as namby-pamby mumbo-jumbo. Yet from a brain science point of view, it seems like this is the best advice you can get. If we refuse to let our anxiety get the better of us - if we embrace the situation the monkey is screaming at us to avoid - and we do this repeatedly... then, we break down the cycle of anxiety and we teach the monkey that it's something we don't have to be afraid of.
Those early teaching experiences were really quite terrifying. I'd already pushed myself way out of my comfort zone by going back to university in my late 30s and retraining at something so different from anything I'd ever done before. I'd prepared myself for all kinds of problems and scenarios and figured out ways I might deal with them... but a workshop of adult learners, something that should have been far less scary than standing in front of a class of 17 year olds... that was almost my downfall. I came out of that first shadowing session and seriously asked myself if I'd made the right decision. Maybe teaching wasn't the right choice for me. Except it was too late to drop out now... and what else could I do?
The following week, I went back to the same class and was put in the same situation again. And it wasn't immediately easier. It took me a good few weeks before I worked out how to handle myself there, but eventually I did... and my anxiety subsided. Because I'd taught my monkey brain that it was OK. It wasn't something to be afraid of.
In her book, Don't Feed The Monkey Mind, Dr. Jennifer Shannon explains...
The monkey mind is like a small child or a pet watching you for guidance. I emphasize the word "watch". You cannot tell this part of your brain anything. The monkey can't be reasoned with, comforted, or distracted from its mission. The only way we can get what we want in live is to override its warnings with our behaviour.
Stop playing it safe, in other words. Playing it safe only reinforces our fears.
Tony Bennett had a pretty good innings, didn't he? Over 70 years as a recording artist, working with everyone from Frank Sinatra to Lady Gaga, he always maintained his cool. Look at this performance from just a year ago... 95 and still delivering the goods. Wow.
The Jukebox obviously has lots of tributes to pay. Let's start with a track from an album called Did I Shave My Legs For This?
Beyond the hearts and flowers stuff though, we find a more intriguing reference...
And when I'm next in line I'm in it to win it Playin' the lotto dreamy eyed like I was Tony Bennett When I lose consolation rolls up in a minute Toothless meth head offerin', mad clinic
Although I was rather disappointed that the title below was actually a "featuring Tony" credit rather than a song about how Doc finds the old smoothy a bit objectionable...
And I was most disappointed to not be able to find this anywhere online...
The Untanned Hide Of A Young Cow - Tony Bennett
Our final lyrical reference comes in a song about another, slightly less famous, Tony, former Arsenal player and self-confessed alcoholic, Tony Adams. Joe Strummer's song is about finding a way out of addiction, and it's probably not the best tribute to Mr. Bennett out there... but it was my favourite tune today...
We're back with another one of George's suggestions, but I knew I'd have little problem coming up with songs about Lucille Fay LeSueur. Four years ago (can it really be that long?), way before the Celebrity Jukebox was even built, I composed a Top Ten Bette Davis Songs. At the time, George asked me to follow with a Top Ten Joan Crawford Songs and I even started compiling a list... then life got in the way. Anyway, better late than never.
We have to start with this one, because I know it's on of George's personal favourites...
I should stop there, because clearly we're not going to beat a song with the chorus
Joan Crawford has rise from the grave!
But just in case there's anyone out there who doesn't share George's deep devotion to the Cult of the Blue Oyster... try these instead:
And some Homeboys lookin' for trouble down here from the Bronx
Arguably the best Lou Reed album features quite a few celebrity guests. I'm sure we'll hear from that record again soon.
How about something a bit more recent? How about a band who describe themselves as "Angry and miserable post-punk music from Italy"? Surely you want some of that?
But as we're clearly never going to find a song that beats George's favourites, maybe the best we can do to close this post is choose a song about one of Joan's most famous roles?
Your suggestions welcome. Otherwise I'll just keep going through George's list...
Chances are you've heard this one before, but maybe not for a long time. I stuck it on one of Sam's CDs the other week and I've enjoyed getting to know it again. Originally recorded for the Red Hot + Blue compilation back in 1990, a charity record for AIDS research featuring artists of the day covering Cole Porter standards. It's since been included on Greatest Hits collections for both Debbie (or Deborah as she was calling herself at the time) and Iggy (or "Jim" as she amusingly refers to him in this song... I'm sure I don't need to tell you that Iggy's real name is James Newell Osterberg Jr.... which is about as far from Iggy as you can get).
The track was originally sung by Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra in the movie High Society. I love their version too, and I'm not about to choose between them. They're both swelligant and elegant and so good for the brain.
This Alex Cox-directed video features both versions...
I just read that in the early 70s, Charles Bronson was the world's Number One Box Office Star. I find that incredible to believe... but not as incredible as you guys not solving the Snapshots.
Here are this week's candy-coloured solutions...
10. Hoarse or Wonder Horse?
Hoarse would be gruff. Champion The Wonder Horse was a Super Furry Animal. As is a Candylion.
