Cnut Songs #13: Buying A Car Part 2

Reliability, then. My old car, when I bought it, was top of the pops for small car reliability, according to the review websites. (I don't read them, but Louise loves 'em.) Not anymore, it seems... so she steered me towards the current Number One instead. Extra points because these cars come with LONG warranties, so if I buy, say, a five year old one, there's still a couple of years left on on it.

One catch.

For the warranty to be valid, the car has to have a full service history.

Dealer #1. Car advertised with FSH.

"So, I understand it's got a full service history. Can I see that?"

"Yes. Absolutely. Just wait here... Oh... actually... we can't find that. I'm sure it had one. I took the car in part-ex myself. Yes, I'm sure it... it must have gone missing..."

Very shortly afterwards, I went missing from that showroom.

Dealer #2.

"So what about the service history?"

"Well, it's got very low mileage, so the previous owner only had it serviced once every two years, which makes perfect sense under the circumstances, and really isn't anything to worry about because the car is in excellent condition..."

"But if it's not been serviced every year... doesn't that invalidate the warranty?"

"No, no, I'm sure it doesn't. I mean, I could check, but really, I wouldn't worry about that, because it's in excellent--"

"How about you check?"

.........

"OK, I've spoken with the service history people, and apparently it's... well, it's to do with the oil change... because it's not had an oil change every year, there is a slight effect to the warranty..."

"By 'slight effect' you mean...?"

"Well, it's anything to do with the oil, really.* Anything that uses oil won't be covered by the warranty, but other than that - the electrics, for example, they're all still covered."

"Anything to do with the oil? So... you mean... THE ENGINE!?!"

"Well, yes, but the electrics--"

"So if the radio breaks, you'll fix it?"

"Absolutely!"

At this point, Dealer #1 calls me back.

"Great news! We found the service history! And it's full - it was serviced in our garage every year since purchase! I've got it right here in front of me?"

"Cool. Has the ink dried on the stamps yet?"

(*A third dealer told me this was bollocks, by the way. You can't invalidate part of the warranty. Either the whole thing's valid or it isn't. End of.)

I mean, I could go on, but... you get the picture.

Here's Jimmy's boys...

Saturday Snapshots #79 - The Answers

This quiz is automatic...

It's systematic...
It's hydromatic...
Why, it's Saturday Snapshots!

I had to use a spreadsheet to work out the winner yesterday, and I'm still not entirely sure I got it right. I think Lynchie just took it, ahead of a sterling performance from Chris, with Charity Chic coming in third, but only after being awarded bonus points for, as George put it, "showing off. Alyson, Rigid Digit*, George and Ramone666 hoovered up the rest.

(*By the way, if any of you haven't yet read Rigid Digit's latest post, I recommend you do so immediately... it struck a lot of chords with me.)

Thanks for once again proving his quiz has got plenty of Razzmatazz! Here are this week's answers...


10. What do football players say to the ref at the start of a match? Clan named ? loses an atom.

Question loses its last ion.

A Tribe Called Quest - Can I Kick It?

9. Oz tum, eh? Too much gambling. Don't put your last coin in the jukebox...

Anagram + high rolling.

Zoe Muth & The Lost Higher Rollers - If I Can't Trust You With A Quarter, How Can I Trust You With My Heart?

8. Sons of Galveston express surprise at your departure.

Jimmy Webb (aka God) wrote Galveston. These are his boys.

The Webb Brothers - I Can't Believe You're Gone

7. Burt's sick wine ends up enclosed with small shoes, eggs and matches.

Burt Reynolds drinks sick wine or Mal Vina, see?

Malvina Reynolds - Little Boxes

6. Found at the zoo, between the friendly antelopes and other pachyderms.

A friendly antelope would be similar to a tame impala.

The biggest pachyderm is an elephant.

Tame Impala - Elephant

Why couldn't all their other songs be as good as this one?

5. Never-ending efficiency minus 100.

If you're efficient, you're pretty slick. Minus a C(entury) = Slik.

Slik - Forever & Ever

4. McFly eats half an ice cream near the Mexican border.

Marty McFly.

Baskin & Robbins.

Marty Robbins - El Paso

Finally finished watching Breaking Bad last week. Yeah, only ten years behind everybody else. This tune features heavily in one of the closing episodes.

3. Thankful when it gets dark and you can hear the Greenwich Time Signal even though you're on your way to see the satellites?

Tortuous clue that. When you're glad it's night, you can hear the pips from GMT, and you're taking the late train to see the Georgia Satellites?

Gladys Knight & The Pips - Midnight Train To Georgia

2. Think things... Average: 5.6 feet, 650 kg.

When I think things, I wonder stuff.

Cows are, according to the internet, on average 5.6 feet, 650 kg.

This was my favourite clue of the week.

The Wonder Stuff - The Size Of A Cow

1. Is sculpture art or a cheesy job?

Kraft make cheese. Not very nice cheese, but cheese all the same.

Sculpture is about making models.

Jobs are work. (Horrible, in most cases.)



I've got chills - they're multiplying... because Saturday Snapshots will be back next week.