Mid-Life Crisis Songs #95: Wasted Youth

Spring has been particularly glorious this year. Especially the hawthorn blossom, which has exploded. 

The hillside across from us is painted white, like it's been snowing.

Young Galaxy - Youth Is Wasted On The Young

So sang George Bernard Shaw with his 21st Century Canadian dream-pop band... or perhaps I'm mixing up my sources. The insane pop culture reference library that is my brain is getting a little clogged up with an abundance of trivia... no chance of remembering what I'm having for tea tonight then. 

When we’re young, we have all the time in the world… and yet we fritter it away. We don’t realise how valuable it is, because life seems endless. So we do whatever the hell we want and don’t worry about tomorrow. Many’s the pop song that has been written about this subject, but this is the one that best captures that sense of youthful headonism… or it’s the first that springs to mind today, anyway.

Fun. ft. Janelle Monáe – We Are Young

I don't recall many nights like the ones Nate Ruess sings about there. A few, I guess, but not as many as most. I spent a large part of my wasted youth chasing the twin fantasies of a radio career and best-selling authordom.

The Colourfield – Castles In The Air

Don McLean – Castles In The Air

Not to mention…

Bob Lind – Elusive Butterfly

Was it a waste? 

No.

Considering how down I’m feeling lately, do I regret my “wasted youth”?

No, that’s not it. After all, as Jim Steinman wrote…

A wasted youth is better by far 
Than a wise and productive old age

Meat Loaf - Everything Louder Than Everything Else

And it's important to remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again." 

The only problem with inspirational quotes (and Crazy Eleanor had a box full of them) is that they don't work on the terminally cynical. Still, they obviously made an impression on Jim...

We've gotta' fast, we were born out of time
Born out of time and alone
And we'll never be as young as we are right now
Runnin' away and runnin' for home

Saturday Snapshots #29 - The Answers

If yesterday's clues were all a blur to you... allow me to clear them up.



10. Oy! Rossiter! This is what James Bond might drink on the dark side of the moon.

Martin Rossiter is the lead singer of Gene. Bond would have his martini shaken, not stirred, with Pink Floyd.

Pink Martini - Hey Eugene

Charity Chic got the artist, Chris solved the song.

9. Bounce! Mrs. McCartney loses a: rare grown-up caterpillar.

If something is bouncing, it's bobbing up and down. Linda - a = Lind.

Bob Lind - Elusive Butterfly

Alyson broke out of her chrysalis to solve this one.

8. Women can be just like Van Halen. Crying Clitheroe or Weeping Watford?

A Girl Called Eddy - Tears All Over Town

And another one for Alyson!

7. Split up with your lad? Don't turn a drama into a Cold War crisis.

Fall Out Boy - This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race

And another one for... oh. Nobody. Guess that's a point for me then. (Unless it was answered after 9pm Saturday.)

6. Not Chubby Checker. Not New Order.

Fats Domino - Blue Monday

It never occurred to me before that Chubby Checker was just a rip off of Fats Domino. Perhaps it had occurred to Rigid Digit.

5. I'm overjoyed that you put everything you had into this.

Blood, Sweat & Tears - You've Made Me So Very Happy

Lynchie got this. Alyson kicked herself.

4. Make a big fuss while searching for Wonder Woman.

Hue & Cry - Looking For Linda

CC was this week's early bird... despite the fact that these guys had a lot more hair when they had their hits.

3. The next best thing to your daily song about Slash.

The next best thing to sliced bread?

Bread - Guitar Man

A point for C!

2. Swimsuits murder a song about Princess Leia.

Bikini Kill - Rebel Girl

Charity Chic solved this one eventually... though C and Chris were typing the title at the same time.

1. Jazz label gets mixed up with Bill Hicks musical.

The jazz label would be Bluenote. Mix it up and you get Bluetone. This song is named after a Bill Hicks record. Slight Return also owed a debt to Hicks, which was C's guess, but I prefer the track Rigid Digit eventually identified...

(This has a truly awful video - what were they thinking? - so I've posted the audio only.)


By my reckoning, this week's joint winners with 2 1/2 points each are C and CC. Well done, guys. Excellent teamwork as always.

More next week, double-decker buses permitting...

My Top Ten Songs About Songwriters

Songwriting is an art form, but some of its most famous artists are more well known for the songs they wrote for other people. Which is why there are no songs in this list about John Lennon, Paul Simon, Bruce Springsteen, et al. Just in case you were wondering...

Someone will still suggest a song about Lennon, you can guarantee it.


10. Nosferatu D2 - I Killed Burt Bacharach

I don't approve of the sentiment, but I love Ben Parker's songwriting, both here and in The Superman Revenge Squad.

9. A - I Love Lake Tahoe

Yeah, the trees are pretty wide
That's where Sonny Bono died.

A - not a great name for band, though I suppose it got them first place in the Bands section of the Yellow Pages.

8. Mercury Rev - Tonite It Shows

This gets in because it's the only song I can think of to mention Cole Porter in its lyrics. (There must be more.) Plus it's much better than Dinner With Gershwin by Donna Summer.

Don't get me wrong: I like Donna Summer, but having watched the video for that, my eyeballs have been scorched by some awful 80s dancing.

See also The Coal Porters, obviously. 

7. Super Furry Animals - The Very Best Of Neil Diamond

Long before the rhinestone-collared shirts and treacly voice made him a household name, Neil Diamond was just a jobbing songwriter in the Brill Building. There he wrote I'm A Believer for The Monkees, among many other gems.

6. The Boo Radleys - Jimmy Webb Is God

You won't get any argument from me on that one, Boos... which is why this isn't the last song about God in this Top Ten.

Wipe away this tear from my eye
Wash away this sadness from my heart
I'm not even fit to tune your guitar
Oh, Jimmy, make me happy...

5. Pulp - Bob Lind (The Only Way Is Down)

Jarvis pays homage to the Elusive Butterfly of 60s folk.

When you think you're treading water, but you're just learning how to drown.
And a song comes on the radio telling you that "The Only Way is Down".
You're out of luck, you're out of time, get out of here.
Your lover just traded you in for the very same model but a much more recent year.
It will not stop, it will get worse from day to day 'til you admit that you're a fuck-up; like the rest of us.

4. Prefab Sprout - The Songs of Danny Galway

From one of the best albums of 2013; and their career. Being a bit dim, I didn't realise that this was written about Jimmy until Miller pointed it out to me.

His melodies inspire whims, his chord changes like Baptist hymns
They lift your spirit til it soars, til you forget that spirit's yours
Sound and word in sweet communion, echoes of a better world
Where chivalry's not dead, we'll look for it instead in the songs of Danny Galway

3. Billy Bragg - Levi Stubbs' Tears

No, Levi Stubbs wasn't a songwriter: he was the lead singer of The Four Tops. Which is probably the only reason this track doesn't get to Number One with a bullet... in most other Top Tens, Billy's heartbreaking Motown tribute would be unstoppable.

Norman Whitfield and Barrett Strong
Are here to make right everything that's wrong
Holland & Holland, Lamont Dozier too
Are here to make it all OK with you

2. Ben Folds & Nick Hornby - Doc Pomus

Ben & Nick pay tribute to one half of the classic Pomus/Shuman songwriting team. This song made me want to read more about Doc Pomus's life. Stricken by polio as a young boy, Pomus refused to be "one of those happy cripples", pouring his heartache directly into the hits...

And out they pour
The hits and the misses
'Turn Me Loose', 'Lonely Avenue'
And down in Nashville, Elvis sings 'Suspicion':
Pomus / Shuman 1962

1. Rumer - P.F. Sloan

And so we return again, inevitably, to Jimmy Webb, with a classic example of his own songwriting, in tribute to a songwriting hero from his early days. Webb's recording of this record is beautiful... but Rumer took it to another level.

Yes, Jimmy Webb is god.



They wrote the songs that made the whole world sing. Which song gets you singing about songwriters?

My Top Ten Bob Songs

My sister's old sheepdog, Bob, passed away last week. He was a good dog.

This is my tribute...


10. Columbo - Rockabilly Bob

A lost classic indie-dance crossover from the 90s. I think Norman Cook might have had something to do with it, but I can't find anything online to confirm that.

9. Half Man Half Biscuit - Bob Wilson, Anchorman

See also: 99% of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd. 

If you ever wondered how you get triangles from a cow
You need butter, milk and cheese
And an equilateral chainsaw

We can never get enough HMHB round these parts.

8. Happy Mondays - Bob's Yer Uncle

A song that's all about sex. Which is fine unless you picture it performed by Shaun Ryder.

7. Pulp - Bob Lind

Jarvis's tribute to the Elusive Butterfly of American folk.

6. Banarama - Robert De Niro's Waiting

Yes, if Girl's Aloud recorded this for the first time in 2012, I would have no interest in it at all. I am a child of the 80s, unashamedly.

5. Nick Cave - The Ballad of Robert Moore and Betty Coltrane

Top slice of Nick Cave storytelling; b-side of his Kylie duet, Where The Wild Roses Grow.

4. Mark Germino & The Sluggers - Rex Bob Lowenstein

Rex Bob is a rebel DJ who refuses to stick to the playlist... and ends up locking himself in the studio in a stand-off with The Man.

Classic story song about the soulless evil of the commercial radio industry.

3. Janis Joplin - Me and Bobby McGee

Written by Kris Kristofferson, whose original recording is just as good. 

2. Prince - Bob George

Probably the darkest record Prince ever recorded, his bleakly funny piss-take of violent and misogynist gangster rap, from the legendary Black Album. The live version on youtube doesn't really do the track justice, but this being Prince, you won't find the album version there.

1. Bruce Springsteen - Bobby Jean

Back in the 80s, at the height of his success, Bruce had a big falling out with his best friend, Steve Van Zandt (star of The Sopranos and the excellent Lilyhammer). Many believe this song was about their break-up. (They're friends again now, and Stevie's back with the E Street Band.)

Now you hung with me when all the others turned away, turned up their nose
We liked the same music, we liked the same bands, we liked the same clothes
We told each other that we were the wildest, the wildest things we'd ever seen
Now I wished you would have told me, I wished I could have talked to you
Just to say goodbye, Bobby Jean

For Bob, RIP.

Which is your bobby dazzler?