Wednesday, 10 July 2013

My Top Ten Stripping Songs

Is it me, or is it getting hot in here...? Time to take off a few more clothes.

10. Hawksley Workman - Striptease

This gets in here purely so I don't have to mention the song with the most offensive title in my record collection. (It's by The Bloodhound Gang... but it's not one of their better offerings.)

Anyway, dig Hawksley Workman.

9. Chris De Burgh - Patricia The Stripper

The Lady In Red Man attempts to become Noel Coward. So bad it's good... (perhaps).

See also this entirely different song of the same name by The Wombats which - quite incredibly - manages to be nowhere near as "good" as old crazy eyebrows.

8. The Birthday Party - Nick The Stripper

Nick is a fat little insect, hideous to the eye. I'd save your cash if I were you.

7. Stereophonics - She Takes Her Clothes Off

I know - what sort of crazy fool places the Stereophonics above Nick Cave?

It won't happen again, I promise.

6. Morrissey - Striptease With A Difference

Never officially released (Moz obviously didn't like it very much), this sees the Pope of Mope getting involved in a late night game of Strip Poker, trying his best to lose...
Exchanging a king for your two
While you're out of the room
Have a shufty over your shoulder

Well, all the same, it's a shady game
And I want to lose...
5. Depeche Mode - Stripped
Let me see you stripped down to the bone
Sigh. You always have to take things one step too far, don't you, Dave?

4. Sohodolls - Stripper

Ah, yes, the 21st Century Republica. Take that as a compliment if you wish...

3. Adam Ant - Strip

Do you know what's insane? This single never made the Top 40. (It peaked at #41.) Record buyers of 1983, hang your heads in shame.
When it gets so hot the end of the day
You may find your clothes getting in the way
If a pretty dress hides your true desire
Fold it nice and slow, throw it on the fire
2. Jermaine Stewart - We Don't Have To (Take Our Clothes Off To Have A Good Time)

Have a glass of cherry wine on me.

1. Mansun - Stripper Vicar

One of Mansun's finest, though it obviously owes a great debt to The Smiths' Vicar In A Tutu. Video filmed at Fountains Abbey, North Yorkshire, I reckon.
And we know him as our vicar
And by night a part-time stripper
And the vicar got suspended
In his stockings and suspenders
And he's making wine from water
While he dresses like his daughter
And we know that he's a rip off
'Cos we've seen him with his kit off

Anyone who suggests Man 2 Man meets Man Parrish loses 274 points immediately.


  1. oh, this is a hard one (hope I don't need to say "pardon the pun" given the topic)...can't think of anything to contribute, other than a couple of lyrics that spring to mind....not sure the songs in their entirety qualify though.

    The first song will probably be well known to most:

    She was working in a topless place/And I stopped in for a beer/I just kept looking at her side of her face/In the spotlight so clear/And later on as the crowd thinned out/I's just about to do the same/She was standing there in back of my chair/Said to me "Don't I know your name ?"/I muttered something underneath my breath/She studied the lines on my face/I must admit I felt a little uneasy
    When she bent down to tie the laces of my shoe/
    Tangled up in blue (Bob Dylan)

    The second is a line from T'N'T (Tim Rogers and Tex Perkins) song "Semi Auto-Duo-Bio" (sorry if I am pushing Aussie music that might not be well known in all corners of the globe - in fairness, this one is probably not even well known in this corner either!)
    " see my girlfriend was a stripper, but that ain't why I quit her, more the shitty way she treated me."

    1. Two good suggestions and I'm always happy to discover new Aussie music.

  2. Outrageous! What about Tom Jones who suggests it's OK to leave your hat number one, except I'd put the Stereophonics there instead...those Welsh lads!

    1. Fair play - Tom was a pretty egregious omission on my part.

  3. Wyclef Jean - "Stripper Song".

    Another KJ-less list. Bah.

    1. I'd rather have Killing Joke that Wyclef any day of the week.

  4. How could you possibly not have included "The lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying" Another Bloodhound Gang classic

    1. That's the one I was referring to at #10. It's just too... too... too much, even for me.

    2. Blimey, the most offensive title. I may do you a list of t he 10 most offensive titles from OHs collection! Although in fairness this BHG track is very sick but so much so it's actually funny.

    3. There probably are more offensive titles in my collection, but none came to mind.

      I can probably do without that list from OH's collection.

  5. And how on earth could you forget about Cock Sparrer's 'Sunday Stripper'?! A masterpiece ....

    1. I'm almost too scared to search for that on youtube.

  6. I have just downloaded iStripper, so I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers on my taskbar.


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