Monday, 4 June 2018

Radio Songs #38: What's In The Box?

Those of you with delicate dispositions may want to skip this post. I could try to sugar coat it, but... well, even sugar-coated, I don't think you'd like it.

Previously on Radio Songs: a devoted listener sent us a shoebox in the post with a label taped on it that read: My Thoughts On The Show. I asked you what you thought that box might contain...

And... well, either I made it too obvious, or you're all as depraved as our old listeners were...

The correct answer was poo. Not from a dog, either. This was human excrement.

Do you know what our initial reaction to that was?

I mean, after we'd gone "Eurrrrghhhh!", obviously.

The presenter and I saw sat there dumbfounded, staring at each other, and then... after a few moments... we asked the same question simultaneously.

How did the turd get in the box? (Glad to see that was the same question you guys were asking!)

Did this guy do his business in the toilet then fish it out, dry it off, and drop it into the shoebox?

Or did he crouch down over the shoebox in the first place and...?

Let's face it, you have to be pretty pissed off with a radio show to take a dump in a shoe box and post it to them. Correct postage too, which suggests he carefully carried his package to the post office to have it weighed and franked. That's dedication. Not cheap, sending a poo in the post either. He obviously wasn't afraid to invest both time and money in this particular enterprise...

Of course, he could have saved himself the effort by just turning off his radio or retuning to another station. In the end, that's the most powerful tool listeners have in effecting change in the media. Soon as the listening figures go down, that presenter will be shown the door. Vote with your ears, people - not your poo!

(In case you're wondering, yes, we did report this incident to the police. A nice policeman came down and took the shoebox away "for analysis". We never heard from him again.)


  1. Eurgh indeed - I had hoped it was a red herring you were serving us.
    Then again, if this doesn't yet feature in England, we here in Scotland, upon reaching the age of 50, have to send 3 "samples" to a lab in Dundee every two years. The logistics are not nice and I have yet to ask Mr WIAA how he goes about collecting his "sample" - What happens in the bathroom, stays in the bathroom!

    1. This explains a lot about Dundee. (I used to write ads for a radio station in Dundee so it all makes sense to me now.)

      I have to wonder what the benefit of this procedure is though... do they tell you, or is it all a mystery?

    2. I see CC had already enlightened you but yes it supposedly can pick up on certain cancers early on but despite the obvious benefits I do know of people who have never been able to bring themselves to collect their "samples".

  2. Bowel cancer screening
    Not just 50 but every 2 years afterwards!

  3. As you know I had a birthday this week - I'm back to an even number again, so guess what came in the post this morning? Yes that envelope from Dundee - Happy days!


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