Self Help For Cynics #25: Marvin

The Beaches - What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Paranoid

Back when I worked in radio advertising, we spent a huge part of our day playing competitive Hearts on the office computers. It's a four player game so we rotated who was playing - sometimes the sales team would join us too, but there was always enough people for a game, multiple games, throughout the day. Everyone who played had a nickname. There was Stretch and Stig, Hammer and Rabbit, Herbie and Smudge... and Marvin. 

Guess who was Marvin?

Life... don't talk to me about life!

(Marvin made a single once. It was a double B side. Nobody liked it much, but then, they wouldn't, would they?)

Marvin The Paranoid Android - Reasons To Be Miserable

Anyway, last week, you may recall, we established that I am paranoid, just like Marvin. Hopefully it's just common or garden paranoia, not one of the fancy kinds that needs specialist treatment, but frankly I've lived with it all my life, and I'm getting a wee bit sick of it. So is there anything I can do?

The National - Afraid Of Everyone

Mind, as always, has some useful advice to offer...

1. Keep A Diary

Well, I do that, don't I? It's this blog. People ask why I spend so long writing these posts... well, there's your answer. And it does help. Particularly the Self Help For Cynics series. Since I started that, I have been able to understand and cope with the things going on in my head much better than I was doing before.

The Fall - Paranoia Man in Cheap Shit Room

2. Question & Challenge Paranoid Thoughts

Once again, we're back to arguing with the voice in our head. We've talked about this a number of times previously, particularly in the post on Defusion. As soon as we start questioning negative thoughts, it allows us to see them for what they are: just thoughts. Which are really just neurons sparking and chemicals washing around in our noggins. They're not real.

King Crimson - 21st Century Schizoid Man

Here's a sampling of the questions Mind suggests we consider...

Would other people think my suspicions are realistic?

Have I talked to other people about my worries?

Is it possible I have exaggerated the threat?

Is there any evidence for my suspicions that can't be questioned?

Are my worries based on events that could be viewed in different ways?

Are my worries based on my feelings rather than definite evidence?

Is it likely that I would be singled out above everyone else?

Is there any evidence against my beliefs?

Do I still feel suspicious even though other people have reassured me that there is no reason to be?

It might feel like you're interrogating yourself if you run through all those... but then, what is an interrogation if not a gradual chipping away at an individual version of events in order to establish the truth?

The Murlocs - Paranoid Joy

3. Look For Support Around You

Once again, isn't this why we blog? Well, it's another of the reasons I'm sat here doing this on a Sunday night. However, there is a part of me - the PARANOID part - that worries these posts might be interpreted as the work of a crass attention-seeker. I suppose when you write a blog, you are an attention-seeker, because you want people to read it... and comment occasionally. But whenever I receive a kind or supportive comment as a result of writing a post like this, it does make me feel guilty. 

The Dolly Rocker Movement - Enjoy A Paranoia

I mean, really Rol, you can't win, can you? People are trying to make you feel better - and they actually make you feel worse! Well, maybe not worse. I do appreciate the positive affirmation... it means a lot. But there's still that intrusive voice saying, "What a cry baby! Are you really so weak an insecure that you need to beg people to say nice things to you? Emotionally blackmail them into doing so? You oughta be ashamed of yourself...!"

Waterparks - You’d Be Paranoid Too (If Everyone Was Out To Get You)

4. Learn To Relax

The two things that help me relax more than anything else?

Writing and listening to music.

Hey presto! 

The Avett Brothers - Paranoia In B Flat Major

5. Look After Yourself

i) Try to get enough sleep.

I do better than a lot of people in this regard. But there's no such thing as "enough sleep" when you have a job, a child and a house...

ii) Think about your diet.

Not as much as some people do, but I've cut down on sugar and I'm eating more nuts, fruit and beetroot...

iii)  Try to keep active.

Not as much as I'd like to, but I'm getting out walking two or three times a week at the moment... and I've taken to running up the stairs at work, to get my heart rate elevated.

iv) Spend time in nature.

See above.

v) Try doing something creative.

This is creative, isn't it? At a stretch...

I may be paranoid, 

But not an android