Snapshots Spillover: More Songs About Famous Female Singers (Appendix #2)

Last batch of these, I promise.

Kylie Minogue featured in Saturday's quiz with the obvious selection of Kylie's Got A Crush On Us by BMX Bandits. I've probably confessed before to the fact that I bought Kylie's debut single back in 1988 even though I knew it wasn't very good. I was 16, Neighbours was on the TV every night when I got home from school, and Kylie was cool... even despite the insipid Stock Aitken Waterman production. I still think she's cool now - and should be praised for her longevity (Christmas Number One last year!). 

Anyway, BMX Bandits wasn't my only choice for songs honouring Ms. Minogue. I could also have gone with this...

Ballboy - Songs For Kylie

And then, of course, there's Wild Billy...

Another female pop diva whose records I obsessed over as a teen was Whitney. I'd still rate her second album as a pure pop classic. Then again, I've always been pretty insecure about voicing such things...

Insecure Men - Whitney Houston & I

I can't say I know a lot about 90s teen pop sensation Jessica Simpson, other than the Eminem name-dropped her and Adam Green wrote this sweet ode...

Adam Green - Jessica Simpson

Janet Jackson, meanwhile, may be tainted by her  brother's reputation... and that "shocking" incident at the Superbowl which got her cancelled for a time, while Justin Timberlake's reputation only soared. Sexist hypocrisy? 

Richard Thompson - Dear Janet Jackson

Meanwhile, here's a very bizarre tribute to another big female pop star of the 90s...

Wesley Willis - Alanis Morrissette

Let's step a bit further back in time

Ollie Byrd - Chaka Khan

Josh Turner - Loretta Lynn's Lincoln

Jill Sobule - Where Is Bobbie Gentry? 

Deacon Blue - Ronnie Spector

The Guthries - Patsy Cline

Tom Russell - Nina Simone

Warpaint - Billie Holiday

Sparks - Edith Piaf (Said It Better Than Me)

The Magnetic Fields - Judy Garland

Finally, three different tunes about the "Godmother of rock 'n' roll" herself...

Robert Plant & Alison Krauss - Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us

Alabama 3 - Sister Rosetta

Frank Turner - Sister Rosetta

But it's back to the pop stars of our youth to close... and here's another lady who's it always been OK to admit to liking. My cool points remain intact.

Snapshots #221: A Top Ten New Year Songs

It was hardly the toughest link to work out, but how often does Saturday Snapshots fall on New Year's Day? Here are the Auld Lang Answers...

10. Often mistaken for space aliens.

I was watching a documentary recently where the US government claimed that when people saw UFOs, they were actually seeing U2 spy planes. Which aren't shaped like flying saucers at all. Far more likely they're seeing Bono's halo...

U2 - New Year's Day

9. Half T-Rex, half King.

T-Rex was a Dinosaur... half of that almost gives you Dina.

And then there's Carol King.

Dina Carroll - The Perfect Year

8. Found inside Superb All Boys Club.

SuperB ALL BOYs Club.

Ballboy - Welcome To The New Year

7. A Trifid Skit.

Anagram! (Not a brilliant one, I'll admit.)

First Aid Kit - New Year's Eve

6. Album of the film of the town.

The album of the film is the Motion Picture Soundtrack. These guys are the...

Motion City Soundtrack - Together We'll Ring In The New Year

5. He gets on Agatha's Wick.

John Wick versus Agatha Christie. I'd watch that movie.

John Christie - Here's To Love (Auld Lang Syne)

4. Herr Flick meets Blackadder Captain.

Herr Flick was in Allo Allo. Captain Darling was in Blackadder.

Allo Darlin' - Will You Please Spend New Years Eve With Me?

3. Double Acne.

Anagram!

Deacon Blue - Queen of the New Year

2. Eat brains.

Not an anagram! Zombies eat brains.

The Zombies - This Will Be Our Year

1. Sheep cry out for well-developed stomach muscles.

Abs go Baa. Or Something.

Wishing you all a better year than the last two...

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #44: Sleep Well

I am not envious of my son for the world he will have to grow up in. I don't secretly wish to be as young as him and have it all in front of me again. I'm not even jealous of his innocence... but I regret he'll lose it soon enough.

The one thing I do envy him for though is his ability to sleep through the night, undisturbed, in any position he nods off in... without waking up stiff and grumpy, or tossing and turning, trying to find a position that's even remotely comfortable.

A quick google search under "sleep anywhere" will reveal hundreds of pictures that prove children (and cats, it seems) can sleep anywhere... and oh, how I wish that I could too.

I usually start the night on my back, but often wake myself up within an hour or so snoring. So I move onto my side, but need a pillow to raise my upper arm or I'll soon be waking again with pins and needles or a completely dead arm... one of those horrible floppy ones that feels like you've got a huge lump of Playdough hanging from your shoulder. Then I need a smaller cushion, or at least a bit of the duvet, between my knees, which have somehow become too bony to just lie together like they did for the first 30+ years of my life without complaint. And that's before I even start on the hip and lower back pain that wakes me most mornings around 5 and screeches with laughter at the idea that I'll be able to grab another hour without reaching for the Paracetamol.

How do you sleep?

I was going to choose a cool, hip blogger song to accompany this post, honest. I honestly considered all of these fine tracks...

Ballboy - Where Do The Nights Of Sleep Go To When They Do Not Come To Me?

The Silver Seas - Another Bad Night's Sleep

The Numbers - I Can't Sleep At Night

Spearmint - I Can't Sleep

Or even this, the really obvious one...

Faithless - Insomnia 

But as I lay awake at 3.15am, choosing music that will bring comfort to my churning mind, I often end up been drawn back to the songs of my youth. Hence this, from the time went TV stations around the world played the National Anthem every night before they went off air... which in itself seems like a lifetime ago...

My Top Ten Songs Nobody Knows

As a rather obvious sequel to last week's Top Ten Songs Everybody Knows... here's ten songs Nobody Knows.

The illustration at the top of the page is one I found online. I certainly don't know anything about Dick Gyllander, and I'd hazard a guess that nobody else reading this would... except he's a jazz musician from Sweden... so one of you might be familiar with his work.



10. Mike & The Mechanics - Nobody Knows

I would defend the Paul Carrack voiced M&TM to the hilt if the synthy 80s arrangements didn't sound so dated now. There's some good songs buried underneath the over-production.

9. Tom Waits - No One Knows I'm Gone

A very sad song about a man who dies with nobody to mourn him.

8. The Raspberries - Nobody Knows

I can see her dancing with someone else
Holding him so close while I'm by myself
I just want to hit him but that won't do

No, Eric, it won't. Violence is not the answer.

7. Otis Redding  - Nobody Knows You When You're Down & Out

A cautionary tale from the 1920s about a millionaire who ends up on skid row... covered by everyone from Tim Hardin to the Spencer Davis Group to the Allman Brothers to Derek & The Dominoes. I'll take Otis.

6. The Feelies - Nobody Knows

The Feelies got together in '76, released 4 albums before 1992, took a bit of time off, then got back together in 2008. This was released in 2011. That's as much as I know. I imagine Brian can tell you more.

5. Paul Brady - Nobody Knows
  

Nobody knows why Elvis threw it all away
Nobody knows what Ruby had to hide
Nobody knows why some of us get broken hearts
And some of us find a world that’s clear and bright

For Mark.

4. Ballboy - Nobody Really Knows Anything

A relationship falls apart and those concerned keep denying it's happening.

3. Billy Bragg - No One Knows Nothing Anymore

Great song. Questionable grammar.

2. Sam Cooke - Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen

A traditional African America slavery song from  the 19th century, recorded by many respectable artists including Paul Robeson, Louis Armstrong... and Hefner. But you're gonna have to go some to beat Sam Cooke.

1. Queens of the Stone Age - No One Knows

Probably my favourite QOTSA track.

The Divine Comedy do an inspired cover of it too.



Nobody knows if you will leave a comment...

Saturday Snapshots #64 - The Answers

I figured there would be low attendance at yesterday's Saturday Snapshots, given that many of you will Fly Away to other pursuits at this time of year. This allowed Rigid Digit and Charity Chic to virtually clean up, leaving only a couple for Brian and C to solve. (By the way, if you enjoy Saturday Snapshots, be sure to check out the latest instalment of C's Mystery Lovechild quiz.)

Still, It Ain't Over Till It's Over... so here are this week's answers.


10. Dearest greetings.

The Beloved - Hello

9. Save me from Netball Sofas!

Netball Sofas was an anagram.

Fontella Bass - Rescue Me

8. Search or arrest? Damn fine...

Search warrant.

Arrest warrant.

"Damn fine Cherry Pie," said Agent Cooper.

I figured Rigid Digit would get this one!

Warrant - Cherry Pie

7. Play cards with the French? Oui, monsieur, but I'd rather dance.

There was no stopping Charity Chic with this one!

Baccara - Yes Sir, I Can Boogie

6. Voodoo lady owns a bloody skeleton.

Redbone - Witch Queen of New Orleans

5. When you're cleaning up after the tennis, and there's nowt worth listening to on the wireless.

Ballboys pick up the balls after (and during) a tennis match.

Ballboy - All The Records On The Radio Are Shite

4. Scared of when Prince cries?

Doves - The Fear

3. Neverending pangs land kilograms.

land + kg is an anagram of kd lang.

kd lang - Constant Craving

2. Danielle loves Clark Kent.

    Danielle loves Clark Kent.

Dan ❤ Man (Clark Kent being the man in Superman).

I wrote it twice because it was an Instant Replay.

Don't watch this video if you were out on the town last night.

Dan Hartman - Instant Replay

1. Mike...pops? Get aircon or call the fire brigade! No exit.

Mike Flowers Pops.

Aircon or the fire brigade could help a hot house (depending on how hot it got).



Are You Gonna Go My Way? If so, Saturday Snapshots will be back next week. Hopefully, so will you...

The Glorious 10th - Welcome To...

The original album cover.

The one they replaced it with when Woolworths refused to stock the album 

because people were blowing their brains out all over the Pick 'n' Mix.

Welcome to the Glorious 10th. Thank you for playing along. I think you got almost all of them this month, although I'm sure you'll be surprised by some of the omissions.

Let's start with the ones that are in my record collection but didn't make the 10. The first person to name each of these gets a bonus point. Let's start with the one everyone thought would be there...

Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Welcome To The Pleasuredome

I need to bring back my old series The Top Ten Songs I Hated When I Was A Kid to properly discuss FGTH, although this wouldn't be the song I featured. I've had a curious relationship with this band, largely down to the fact that even as a teenager I felt I could see through the Paul Morley hype machine. I actually preferred Holly Johnson's solo work... though I did grow to give Frankie their due eventually. Not enough to squeeze them into this Top Ten though, sorry.

Steve can have 1 point for that though. And also for suggesting Welcome To The Terrordome... though I was always more of a Run DMC man than Public Enemy.

The Swede then gets a point for Jim Reeves - Welcome To My World, recalling my hospital radio days. Although obviously I prefer the Elvis version.

Lynchie (I'm sorry, Lynchie, I feel like I should be linking to you... is that possible?) gets a point for Manic Street Preachers - Welcome To The Dead Zone, which was a serious contender for a while. He also gets a point for another very close call, Alice Cooper - Welcome To My Nightmare. He doesn't get any points for Pink Floyd though. And neither does anyone else. However, he can have an extra point for saying that Bon Jovi - Welcome To Wherever You Are wouldn't be in my Top Ten. It is in my record collection though. (Which probably doesn't surprise any of you.) So is this, which nobody mentioned, but it's much better than Jon By-Jovi...

Oh, and before I go any further, I can honestly say that I had never heard Mr. Mister - Welcome To The Real World until you lot started banging on about it. And I don't want to ever hear it again, thanks.

Meanwhile, Charity Chic gets a bonus point for Welcome To Paradise by Green Day, from the excellent album Dookie. Another contender for the prized #11 slot.

Martin arrived then, desperate to reclaim his crown after last month's poor showing, swooping up bonus points for... Fleetwood Mac - Welcome to the room, Sara, The Kinks - Welcome To Sleazy Town, and Prince - Welcome 2 The Dawn. I know, I know, last month I said Prince was a shoe-in for the Top Ten, but I forgot this because of his annoying habit of using text speak in his songs. One extra bonus point to Martin for remembering it despite that.

And I'm going to stop Martin there, because I'm sure I had a rule somewhere about limiting your guesses to ten. Well, if I didn't, I do now. Some of Martin's "bubbling under" suggestions might have nabbed him points... one of them would have scored big if he'd chosen to take it off the boil and cook it properly. Oh, and I did promise him this: he loses a point for Oxide & Neutrino. I mean, really.

Last month's winner C arrived then and stole a bonus point from Martin for putting Welcome to the Real World by ABC in her Top 10. She also nabbed a point for Ryan Adams - Welcome To New York, though she'd have doubled that up if she'd mentioned the Taylor Swift original. 

Alyson gets a point for Brad Paisley - Welcome To The Future, which really did come close to making the ten. Good guess, Alyson. Hope you're fully recovered now. And you can have a point for The Music - Welcome To The North as well.

Finally, Jez rolled along with Hot Club De Paris - Hello, I Wrote A Song For You Called ‘Welcome To The Jungle’, which I'd forgotten all about, but it's pretty cool.

Surprised nobody suggested the title track from this. 

Although it is only a minute long.

What about points for good songs that aren't in my record collection?

Brian can have a point for Welcome To My Revolution by Utopia. Love Todd Rundgren. Must check out some more Utopia.

C gets 1 point for Welcome To The Jungle (Jim) by They Might Be Giants. I love TMBG too but I'd never heard this one before. It's great. And a point for Welcome To My World by Depeche Mode, because the lyrics made me smile.

The Swede gets a point for Welcome To Feeling by Sam Beam & Jesca Hoop, another one from my infinite Wants List. And that's even shorter than the Dandy Warhols track above!

Martin can have a point for Tori Amos - Welcome To England, which isn't as annoying as I worried it might be. Although the video is pretty much Wicker Man meets The Omen.

Rigid Digit also steals "that's pretty cool" points for Stiff Little Fingers - Welcome To The Whole Week and Welcome to the World of Plastic Beach by Gorillaz, mainly because it features more Snoop than Damon. 

Then Jez rolled up again with Summer Camp – Welcome to Condale, which I liked, and something from the Frank Sidebottom movie soundtrack which I couldn't find online, but as I never really saw the point of Frank Sidebottom, no points there.

Finally George crawled out of bed a few days after everyone else and with his usual style and aplomb went for the booby prize by suggesting Welcome To The Show by Barclay James Harvest. And because it really is as bad as George said, I'm going to give him 3 points for that.

Another pretty good Welcome To... album without a title track.

OK, enough of the runners up. Let's get to the big ten! What beat Frankie?

These guys...


10. Rufus Wainwright - Welcome To The Ball.

Rigid Digit  gets two points for being the only person to guess this. Camp as a row of glamping tents.

9. Plan B - Welcome To Hell

I figured Charity Chic might steal the points for this one since it was one of his famous bargain buys, and sure enough he not only guessed it, but also - incredibly - predicted its Number 9 placing. Which gets him 5 points!

8. R.E.M - Welcome to the Occupation

An obvious inclusion, which I was sure Steve would get the points for... but didn't. Lynchie gets 2 for being first to suggest it. Jez, Martin & CC also get 1 for knowing it would be in my 10.

7. Ballboy - Welcome To Växjö

CC got a point for being the first to suggest Ballboy, although he went for the song Welcome To The New Year instead of this. It was down to George to steal the 2 point glory by remembering this lesser known track intead.

6. Brandon Flowers - Welcome To Fabulous Las Vegas

I would argue that Brandon Flowers now makes more interesting records as a solo artist than in his day job with The Killers. I don't know if Rigid Digit agrees with me, but he gets another 2 points for being the only one to mention this anyway.

What: no Son of Dork fans out there? Shame on you!

All of which brings us to The Top Five, and a pretty amazing Top Five it is, I'm sure you'll agree (though you may well disagree about the order).

5. The Wonder Stuff - Welcome To The Cheap Seats

Charity Chic gets 2 points here, though sadly his prediction of it being my #2 song fell a bit short. It could well have been: it is a classic.

In another world, Martin and Rigid Digit could wear a dress. They get a point for knowing it would be in my Top Ten, as does Alyson... though I suppose she already wears one.

4. Steely Dan - Any World (I'm Welcome To)

Here's the one nobody got: and right now, a dozen Steely Dan fans are kicking themselves. I can understand why you missed it, but remember (brackets are allowed) the challenge was "to find ten songs with the words 'Welcome to...' in the title". I never said they had to be at the beginning.

Another album-title-only contender.

3. Guns N' Roses - Welcome to the Jungle

Of course, this had to be in there. It could have even been #2, but when I listened to the runner-up contenders back-to-back, my actual #2 just edged it for me. Still an amazing song, whatever your thoughts on Axl Rose.

The Swede got this first - 2 points for that. Rigid Digit gets 1 too. Alyson misses out under the Martin Rule, because she made the mistake of saying it would be on my long list rather than in the Top Ten. Shame.

2. My Chemical Romance - Welcome to the Black Parade

I was surprised how few of you suggested this. Either you all think my record collection largely stopped in the 20th Century, or yours does. This is probably Gerard Way's finest hour, a glorious slab of emo-pomp: Queen meets Radiohead meets David Lynch. And the video has everything a great pop song needs: comas, nurses, skeleton costumes, zombies, post apocaltyptic ruins, exploding televisions and overdone allegory. Eat that, Paul Morley!

Anyway, the only person I can legitimately award points to for this is Jez. Martin misses out for over-guessing and suggesting this would be "bubbling under". No way, this is boiling over!

1. Elvis Costello - Welcome to the Working Week

Well, there could only be one winner, and if Elvis had a song on his first few albums that fit the bill, chances are it would be him. One minute 24 seconds of sheer audio bliss: now that's how to write a pop song!

Now that your picture's in the paper being rhythmically admired
And you can have anyone that you have ever desired
All you gotta tell me now is why, why, why, why?

Indeed. The Swede gets 2 default points for being the first to mention it, but everyone who thought it would / should be Number One gets 5 points. So that's 5 points for Charity Chic, Martin, C, Alyson and Brian. Rigid can have a point too, though he didn't number his predictions.

Points, then. And what do points make? Well, in this game they make points. (The usual apologies if I've added them up wrong.)

Steve - 2 points (play properly next time)

Lynchie, Jez & George - 5 points

Brian - 6 points

The Swede - 7 points

Alyson - 8 points

C & Rigid Digit - 9 points

Martin - 11 points

But this month's undisputed champion, with a peerless 15 points is...

Charity Chic.

Well done, Stevie.

Thank you all for playing. Next month's challenge will be along any second.

My Top Ten Cycling Songs

For Sir Chris Hoy, Bradley Wiggins, Victoria Pendleton and the rest of Britain's amazing Olympic cycling team...

10. Nazareth - My White Bicycle

Yes, Nazareth.

9. Katie Melua - Nine Million Bicycles

Yes, Nazareth and Katie Melua - in the same Top Ten. Deal with it!

My favourite youtube comment about this video is: "I bet she needs to wash her hair now."

8. Anita Ward - Ring My Bell

Because I knew there'd be complaints if I didn't include it. Personally, I'd have rather have this.

7. The Maccabees - Bicycles

6. The Decemberists - Apology Song

Colin Meloy's apology is to his friend Steven. Colin was supposed to be looking after Steve's bike while Steve was in England but he didn't do a very good job. Somebody nicked it.

The bike was called Madeleine.

5. Elbow - Puncture Repair

4. Tom Waits - Broken Bicycles

Broken bicycles
Old busted chains
Rusted handle bars
Out in the rain.
Somebody must
Have an orphanage for
These things that nobody
Wants any more.

3. Kraftwerk - Tour De France

2. Ballboy - Olympic Cyclist

I should really have included this on my Top Ten Olympic Songs, but the truth is, despite having a fair chunk of Ballboy's back catalogue in my music collection, I hadn't heard this track until The Vinyl Villain featured it last week. Thanks, JC.

1. Queen - Bicycle Race

Yes, the video might appear sexist to our enlightened 21st Century eyes, but in its defence:

1) It was the 70s.

2) It was the brainchild of the gayest man in rock. (Freddie, I love you.)

3) Steve probably loves it.



No, I couldn't bring myself to include The Pushbike Song by The Mixtures. Give me a break, will you?

Apart from that... which song rings your bell?