Sergeant Ernie is here to give you all this week's answers and I want you all to march in time while you listen to him. Left right, left right, left right...
Percy Thrower was an old school gardener and broadcaster. Sledging in cricket is trying to put the batsman off by insulting them as they prepare to face a delivery. Also found in other sports e.g. the behaviour of the dastardly American fans in the recent Ryder Cup.
(And yes, I'm convinced Ernie only included the Pet Shop Boys because knows George hates them!)
1. Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous lads.
Scottish readers will instantly recognise the quote from the opening lines of ‘To A Mouse’ by Robert Burns: “Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie, O, what a panic’s in thy breastie”. With this and Jackie magazine I’m virtually handing the prize to Alyson.
Beatie Boys - (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party)
Thanks again, Ernie - you saved my life this week as I'd spent so much time on the Cancel Culture Club, I was struggling to find time for Snapshots.
Normal - and far less imaginative - service will be restored next Saturday.
Fortunately, George is back with more I Can't Songs.
Take it away, George...
There’s a LOT of “I Can’t” songs. A lot. You’ve already had ten, some good, some great and two brilliant ones, so here’s ten more, some good, some great, and two of which are simply brilliant, or toptastic if you prefer.
If you want slick 70s (or was it 80s?) pop you’ve come to the wrong place. Well, today you have. So no Hall & Oates, a perfectly decent and well-made pop song, but it’s not Top Ten material. Or Top Twenty, as I’m doing two of these. Nope, instead, you’re getting what is undoubtedly going to be the best song you hear all day, because this is beyond brilliant...
One of those powerful songs that makes you stop whatever you’re doing and just listen. (Not one to play in the car, then). Every time I hear it I can’t do anything but put my listening ears on. From an album you absolutely must have in your collection, Live at Carnegie Hall.
That’s Walter, our pigeon, rescued at the bottom of the farm. He has a wounded wing that will never heal properly; instead of releasing him to be eaten by Billy, we are keeping him. A coop is currently under construction for him. Walter, not Billy. And Walter the pigeon is actually a dove.
That song is not to be confused with the Steve Winwood song, the latter is not an “I can’t” song but a “Can’t” so The Swans will not be in this list. But Otis is!
Another Walter song, that one. "I can’t turn you loose……. because either Shaggy or Billy, or both, will kill you and eat you” as Otis never sang, but it does scan.
A Top Ten without a country song? Is that possible? Of course not.
It would of course be perverse not to include that Ray Charles song, but it is what I am doing, I’ve never liked it or indeed the vast majority of anything I’ve heard by him. And it would certainly be thrawn in the extreme not to include maybe the best known I Can’t song, the one with that uses brackets...
They’re Italian. Unlike Yvonne Elliman. We (Jo and I, not Yvonne and I) were watching something on tv and “Everything’s alright” was featured. I knew most of the lyrics, knew when Judas’ part was coming, knew when Ted Neeley sang. So I’m going to shoehorn this in...
It’s the way the music gets going at 20 seconds in, that signature WIllie Mitchell “Hii Rhythm Section” sound and arrangement, that slow-almost-lethargic music, it’s a perfect soul song.
And please note that Stink, via The Police, is excluded on taste and because it’s “Can’t Stand Losing”. Bad Company, though, are ineligible only because, again, it’s not an “I can’t” song. You could of course argue that Yvonne Elliman should also be excluded, to which I say “Do your own Top Ten”.
Thank you, again, to Rol, for posting this piece. I hope I don’t lose you too many readers.
No, thank you, George. And don't worry: I can't lose what I don't have.
I closed with the original version of George's opening tune. Though I was tempted to go with the Hall & Oates.
The Guest Post door is always open, if anyone wants to try the handle. But don't feel obliged.
My antipathy towards U2 is well documented so you may be surprised to find them at the top of the page this week. But really, there weren't a whole lot of strong contenders... and I did want to give U2 some credit to make up for years of taking the mick. There was a point sometime in 1988/9 where I thought they may be OK. Not earlier - I still think The Joshua Tree is one of the most overrated albums ever recorded... but Rattle & Hum... that, I didn't mind. So here, for the record, is my favourite U2 song. It's not a long list...
Truly the late 80s / early 90s were a dire time for chart music. I was in my late teens at the time and the tracks above largely forced me to venture outside the charts for the first time in my musical history.
No other song will touch that, if only for the sheer majesty of Pearl's vocal (and Carl's ability to use only one side of his mouth whilst singing).
Initially, I couldn't find that anywhere on the internet, but George was kind enough to send me a link so you can enjoy it in all its glory.
That was the first thing to spring to my mind too, C. Though I still have nightmares about the awful Rod Stewart / Tina Turner version. The Sonny & Cher version (as suggested by Martin) is quite fun though.
I don't suppose anyone will mention that song about little boys by a certain person...although it was covered by Splodgenessabounds.
I loved that song when I was young. It breaks my heart that we can't listen to it anymore without awful connotations.
Martin was the first to observe that I have my work cut out for me this week.
As for "two", there are going to be loads, aren't there? Don't envy you collating them.
I'll let you into a secret... last week was training / CPD week at work. I attended all the training sessions online. But I also... multi-tasked. Which is why there was no pause in transmission this week.
So here are some. No doubt I'll forget something again this week, my mind is getting soft.
I think that goes for all of us after the past few months.
Yes, I know that's a 97... and we did feature it way back in 1984 when we were doing that week of the Hot 100 on Ceefax, before the interweb. But it's based on the two songs above, so I'll break loads of rules and throw it in.
Time for Douglas, who made the journey from Canada in record time this week...
Oh my, I somehow got here before The Swede published a list a clothyard long! I just have to get a few early suggestions in, then perhaps come back later after some real thought. For starters, since I (indirectly) promoted The Lucksmiths last week, here are two solid suggestions from the Australian artists of winsome wordplay:
Then of course there is the master of meticulous songcraft himself, the creative genius behind The Blue Nile (who births an album roughly every fifteen years):
Makes one want to smile and cry at the same time. And perhaps me especially after I discovered that the vinyl copy of the album from which it comes (2012's "Mid Air") which I purchased on release date for under $30 is now going on Discogs for something in the mid $300's. A better investment than real estate. And speaking of which, there is:
And for my usual Canadian offering, you could do worse than save some room for Montreal's beloved and finest indie rock band (no, don't worry, not Arcade Fire):
I'm allowing those last two, but I didn't want to open the can of worms that was "second songs" or we really would have been here all week.
On to Alyson, who was missing in action last week but returns full force this week...
So, so many 2 suggestions. I am struggling to come up with anything better than Party Fears Two so agree with that one and here's a little extract from when I wrote about that song after my trip to Dundee.
'It’s certainly a strange title for a song and tricky to understand the lyrics other than that a party is involved. Billy did explain the origin however, 'My wee brother was at a party watching two girls who wanted to come in. They were smashing windows and attempting to kick the door in with their stiletto heels, which he admired, so he christened them the Party Fears Two and I pinched the title from him.''
That's a great explanation. I love that song, especially the opening line.
Sadly, Alyson's other suggestions all fall foul of the the Tom Robinson Rule.
I figured there would be a load more 2am song, but it seems only Iron Maiden are hard enough to stay up that late. Anyone else who stays up that late appears to not be happy about it...
It's at this point that I have to give Rigid Digit a special award this week, for nabbing most of my top contenders in a very short space of time. Any of these could have been this week's winner. In fact, I had them listed together in almost the same order you presented them, RD...
I added the second Joe Jackson tune myself and seriously considered giving them joint winner status in the same way I had three winners last week. Sadly, a more obvious choice presented itself. But any other week...
Over to Jim in Dubai...
I fully endorse Swiss Adams choice of Party Fears 2, still sounds great and would be a worthy winner.
Now at this point in proceedings, I was feeling pretty smug about being way ahead of the game and well on track for a timely post with no overtime required.
Hi folks. Sorry I'm late. I culled this list of appropriate tunes from my hard-drives a couple of weeks back and have attempted to take out anything already suggested - apologies for any I've duplicated...
OK, time to pull an all-nighter!
At least The Swede started with two he knew would be on my list...
Let it be known, that in line with me keeping my sanity, I am going to heretofore limit The Swede to only 600 suggestions per week.
And after all that, I doubt very much that anyone will want to read my shortlist... although I think there's a couple at the top of my list that will a few of you kicking yourselves...
This week's winner was first suggested by John Medd, then seconded by Martin. It wasn't my first thought, but once it was out there, I couldn't think of anything any more appropriate.
Sam has taken to singing this song thus...
Woohoo! Abbamebaddawawa!
Woohoo! Dabbaweewawameme!
I've told him what the actual words are and he sings them once or twice, then goes back to the nonsense. Actually, I think the nonsense words are even more appropriate, since pure pop should be nonsense... and this is a contender for the purest indie pop song ever written.
Pleased ta meetcha!
Only one more to go. And there can be only one winner... but what will it be?
If you asked me to name my favourite post-60s soul singer, Bill Withers would come top of the list. I first became aware of Bill some time after his retirement when his music returned to the charts in the late 80s, even though Bill himself didn't come with it. He'd chosen to leave the music industry behind a couple of years earlier and resisted all subsequent temptations to return and cash in, preferring instead to live a quiet life as a "regular guy".
His legacy includes many truly timeless pop songs - so timeless in fact, that this Top Ten pretty much wrote itself, because the big hits just had to be there... along with a couple of lesser-known favourites. The only difficulty I had was putting them in order.
Thanks to Lynchie for pointing us in the direction of Bill's duet with Bobby Womack on It's All Over Now, "the best ever version" of that particular tune.
Written by Bill, but recorded as a duet with saxophonist Grover Washington who took top billing... long before Will Smith... or even Eminem... got their hands on it.
One of those pop songs that's so ubiquitous it verges on Beatles territory... and yet I never grow tired of it. Plus, listen to how he holds those notes in the chorus!
The song that convinced me Bill was more than just another soul singer. The ultimate suicide anthem - the singer even shoots himself dead at the end. Beat that, Morrissey!
His debut hit, released when he was 33 years old. Even when it struck gold, he refused to quit his on a production line because he thought the music industry was "a fickle business".
There's a simplicity to Bill's best tunes that makes them truly timeless. Here's the perfect example of that, with lyrics we all really need right now...
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
1. Use Me
Perhaps a surprising choice for number one given the household name tunes above, but this is the first track I thought of when I heard the news of Bill's passing, and I've listened to it most of the weekend. The keyboard bassline is one of the most addictive substances known to man.
RIP, Bill. Wherever you are, I hope it's a lovely day.
