Sergeant Ernie is here to give you all this week's answers and I want you all to march in time while you listen to him. Left right, left right, left right...
Percy Thrower was an old school gardener and broadcaster. Sledging in cricket is trying to put the batsman off by insulting them as they prepare to face a delivery. Also found in other sports e.g. the behaviour of the dastardly American fans in the recent Ryder Cup.
(And yes, I'm convinced Ernie only included the Pet Shop Boys because knows George hates them!)
1. Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous lads.
Scottish readers will instantly recognise the quote from the opening lines of ‘To A Mouse’ by Robert Burns: “Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie, O, what a panic’s in thy breastie”. With this and Jackie magazine I’m virtually handing the prize to Alyson.
Beatie Boys - (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party)
Thanks again, Ernie - you saved my life this week as I'd spent so much time on the Cancel Culture Club, I was struggling to find time for Snapshots.
Normal - and far less imaginative - service will be restored next Saturday.
Another conversation starter from Richard Herring's book Emergency Questions...
Which conspiracy theory do you think might actually be true?
Rich thinks Paul McCartney really was replaced by a lookalike in the late 60s. You may well agree with him, but I'd argue that the replacement was far more interesting in that case.
These days, conspiracy theories get rather a bad rep. I blame the internet and all the right-wing loonies who have ruined the good old conspiracy theory for everyone. I used to love a good conspiracy theory... nowadays, I'm more likely to keep that to myself in case people think I'm a Trump supporter.
But if I had to choose a conspiracy theory that I still feels needs further investigation... despite all the (redacted) files that have been released in the intervening years, I would go for the JFK assassination every time.
Look, I know the Oliver Stone movie was a bit dubious in places, but there were still far more questions than answers. Do I really believe Lee Harvey Oswald was a lone gunman? What about the shots from the grassy knoll? Why did Jack Ruby kill him before he could be properly interrogated?
Come on... the guy was a Patsy! Even the Manic Street Preachers think so...
What about you? Were the moon landings faked by Stanley Kubrick? What about the Roswell Incident? Was there something in David Icke's Lizard People rantings? Is the Illuminati controlling our every move? Go on, we're all friends here...
Yesterday, I gave you a photo of Kurt Russell, aka Snake Plissken in Escape From New York.
Today, I give you a photo of Sylvester Stallone, aka Lieutenant Marion Cobretti from the movie Cobra. Sadly, I couldn't find a picture of Cobra holding a camera, so you get Rambo holding a camera instead. Taking a shot at a Monarch, by the look of it. Rambo is terrified of butterflies, you know.
Anyway, here are ten songs about different types of snakes. Aficionados of 80s action movies get extra clues!
10. Devotees of 104.
104 is 10 to the power 4. Or 10,000. Devotees are maniacs.
(If you wonder why I call these lists A Top Ten... rather than THE Top Ten..., it's because there are some songs I have to leave out to avoid too much artist repetition. Like...
These are The Bens, a super-group comprising of Ben Folds, Ben Lee and Ben Kweller, artists who all did time in my record collection before joining together like the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers into a huge unstoppable indie robot of destruction. Or something.
Anyway, they seemed the perfect choice to illustrate our choice of Ben, Benjamin and Benny songs, although you guys were also kind enough to suggest...
And then there's my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, who is way too young and cool to participate in blog-reading. He's of the podcast generation. Which, if you ask me, are just blogs for people too lazy to read. Anyway, Ben suggests...
Ben Gibbard of Death Cab For Cutie
Ben's choice of song is a b-side ("because, of course...") cover of a Freedy Johnston song...
I should take this opportunity to point out I have a Ben Gibbard live solo track in my hard drive (plus all the obvious Death Cab stuff) and it too is a cover...
Anyway, more from my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben later.
At this point, I feel I should remind you all of the rules to this game. We're not after artists with the name Ben (although I'm happy to give them a mention if they're of the calibre of the Bens above)... but songs that feature them.
The Bad: in We Didn't Start The Fire, Billy Joel (not Benny Joel) lists:
Buddy Holly, Ben-Hur
Space Monkey, Mafia
Hula Hoops, Castro
Edsel is a no-go
It runs to 4 verses before he realises that he's only got to 1963, so compresses the next 30 years into a single verse.
Now even if you didn't know (which you do) that Billy is one of my favourite artists, RD... well, I never understood the hate that's always thrown at this track. It's almost become cool to hate on it. But even though it's not Billy's finest hour, I will defend it to my dying day. It's a great pop song.
The bleedin' awful (although some may like it): that song by Wacko Jacko about a rat.
Yes, we'll get to that in a moment.
First though, here are the scrapings from my hard-drive...
As for Ben songs, I don't have much. Will there ever be a time when it's ok to enjoy MJ songs in a guilt-free manner? I always loved the rat song so hope it does end up in there but would understand why it might not.
What about my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben? If anyone can advise us on such a PC-minefield, surely it's him? Except... turns out it's a little more complicated than that.
I'm named after the Ben that Michael Jackson sang about in the 80s.
Ouch. So you're named after a rat?
No, that sick kid who died in the hospital in the 80s.
Now I have to admit that I have no recollection of this myself, but my millennial hipster politico friend Ben claims that MJ sang the song as a tribute to a sick child back in the decade he was only born right at the end of. I did question what he knew of the 80s based on his tender years, to which he replied:
I use Boys From The Black Stuff and Robert Palmer as the two extremes, then just make assumptions about what goes in between.
(This is the kind of reply that makes me feel like Ben and I should do our own middle-aged loser vs. hipster politico podcast... however, the likelihood of me ever having the time to indulge in such fripperies seems zero.)
Anyway, the point is, I never really got an answer on whether it's OK to listen to Michael Jackson songs these days. So I'll play this instead...
While The Soul Of A Collector offers a favourite of mine from years gone by...
If we are allowed to include clocks in the figurin', then I am guessing there are a number of songs alluding to London's famous timepiece, the best of which I can come up with is:
Ah, Ben/Benjamin, my first love was called Ben, and I have fond memories of holding hands with him on a Summer afternoon. I was only six (and so was he, I hasten to add!)
As for songs - I brought Mr SDS (who is not called Ben) in on this one and he came up with a slice of '60s garage pop called 'Ben Franklin's Almanac' by the Cryan' Shames. None from me, I'm afraid.
This one was suggested by my millennial hipster politico friend Ben, who always insists he isn't a Benjamin himself.
I should point out that when I asked him to contribute to this post, I did tell him that the choice of name for this week was in no way down to him. Subconsciously, however, it probably was, since our ongoing text chats about music, film, comics and the occasional bit of politics (which I only pretend to understand) over the past few months have been one of the only things that have kept me sane. I should thank him for that. But I probably won't because neither of us do sincerity very well.
British born rapper who wears a Doctor Doom mask to perform and the song features the line:
Getting Benjamins like Nettenyahu
...speaking to the absolute corruption of Nettenyahu as the leader of the Israeli state whilst putting a spin on the traditional rap conceit of hustling, suggesting it's not always a good thing.
Don't worry, I didn't understand that either. But I do like that he wears a Dr. Doom mask.
Oh, look, it's that Ben Folds guy again. I don't feel too bad about featuring him twice (as I've long been a huge fan) because Alyson emphatically stated:
Ben Folds for the artist.
And Martin added:
Plus anything by the always-excellent Ben Folds Five.
This isn't actually by the Five, but it does owe more than a little debt to this...
(As does Ben's whole career, come to think of it.)
I'll start with the obvious one, said Charity Chic, and indeed it was, so a few of you also suggested it. It's a great live performance, lyrically satirising the music industry of the 70s, with more than just a passing nod to Ziggy Stardust, I reckon, care of Bernie Taupin.
And if you don't like that, perhaps you'll prefer the Beastie Boys... ahem... "sloppy version"...
Top of Brian's list and almost at the top of mine. Brilliant stuff.
He's saving up for a new Ben Sherman He says he'd like to fuck Uma Thurman I don't think that he'll get too far With either those dreams He's got his eyes on a pair of Pumas He says I should cut my hair like Uma's If he thinks I'd go along with His sordid fancies
1. Shack - Streets Of Kenny
I've got to give this week's win to John Medd though. It's only a lyrical nod (in a song already featured in Kenny Wednesdays, way back when)... but what a song!
Looking for the boys again
Can't find Joe or Benny
NEXT WEEK: OUR TOP TEN BARBARA / BARBRA / BARBIE (!?) SONGS
Once again, there will be an obvious Number One. But what else can you find to fill out the 10...?
Yesterday, I forgot to set the time stamp on the post, hence its late arrival. It also proved the most difficult set of Snapshots to date, so sorry about that. But they can't all be easy!
Anyway, here's this week's answers to give you a real Buzz...
10. Can the third sequel ever be the best? Uncanny!
I've not seen The Sound of Music since I was a kid, but in my memory, Julie Andrews sings this. Not so. Watching the scene again now, it's filmed in a really disturbing way that almost reminds me of The Exorcist.
I was very impressed that Charity Chic got this. I'd never have pegged him for a Mountain fan.
3. Bryan lied about the year, all the young ones protested.
The year Bryan sang about was The Summer of '69, yet as has been previously discussed here, he would only have been ten years old then, so probably not old enough to form his first band. Certainly not old enough to be in a band where one of the other members quits to get married. Not really old enough to spend his evenings down at the drive-in either, for that matter. Although, as has also been previously discussed here, Bryan claims the '69 in the title doesn't refer to a year at all, but some other arcane practice of which I know not. Anyway, The Summer of '69 is a sham.
