Saturday Snapshots #69 - The Answers

Steady on, now ladies of a certain age... if you're Looking Through The Eyes of Love this morning, now's not the time to become a Daydreamer. We have serious business here - namely, the answers to yesterday morning's Saturday Snapshots.

Very quick recap today as I feel proper done in on Saturday night, so no time for the usual shout-outs, I'm afraid, other than to say 'Welcome back, Lynchie' and apologise to Chris if this was a hard one. Every week somebody different says it's a hard one, so that must be variety, eclecticism or maybe I'm just running out of 'easy ones'.

If I Didn't Care, I'd wouldn't reveal the answers right now...



10. Inheriting the chocolate factory made him a millionaire... now all he needs is the perfect woman!

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory.

Millionaires are rich.

Remember: beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Charlie Rich - The Most Beautiful Girl In The World

9. New York card game presided over by Dylan & Steve.

Bob Dylan.

Steve Earle.

Bob & Earl - Harlem Shuffle

8. Frank & Cilla's children refuse to instruct disco partners.

Frank & Cilla would have...

Black Kids - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You

7. Cool daddio, this would be a groovy place... if it wasn't for those chuffing chimps!

Cool daddio, are you digging my scene?

Not with blowing monkeys!

The Blow Monkeys - Digging Your Scene

6. A load of nutters love the rain.

10,000 Maniacs - Like The Weather

5. Throw away two-faced champions and switch on the idiot box.

Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy - Television (The Drug of the Nation)

4. Big beach lured by tasty chucky.

Giant Sand - Temptation of Egg

3. Use a crowbar to break into Peter Pan's house... but it might not topple easily.

Jimmy your way into Cliff's house...

Jimmy Cliff - The Harder They Fall

2. Lost your valentine? Try the carousel.

Fairground Attraction - Find My Love

1. Enlarge General to solve cardiac problems.

Enlarge & General are both anagrams.

Al Green - How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?



Cherish these songs until next Saturday. How Can I Be Sure you'll be back? Well, Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...

My Top Ten Hurricane Songs

Hold onto your hats... there's ten hurricanes coming.


10. Catherine Feeny - Hurricane Glass

Much consternation on youtube over the way Catherine treats her guitars in this video. I'm amazed people have the time.

9. Athlete - Hurricane

Impending doom for the Athlete lads as a hurricane threatens to strip them of all they hold dear.

8. Florence & The Machine - Hurricane Drunk

In which Florence gets self-destructive... she's gonna drink herself to death.

7. Black Kids - Hurricane Jane

It's Friday night and I ain't got nobody.
Oh, what's the use of making a bed?

Slovenly.

6. Alice Cooper - Hurricane Years

Mr. Cooper: legend.

5. The Hold Steady - Hurricane J

Jessie's like a hurricane... but Craig might not be the one to save her from herself.

I know you're gonna say what I know you're gonna say
I know you'll look at the ground, I know you'll probably cry
You're a beautiful girl and you're a pretty good waitress
But Jessie, I don't think I'm the guy

4. The Auteurs - Johnny & The Hurricanes

Luke Haines' tribute to forgotten fifties rock 'n' rollers, gets extra points for mentioning Spider-Man in the lyrics.

3. The Horrible Crowes - Behold The Hurricane

Gaslight Anthem mainman Brian Fallon's side-project, this was the Horrible Crowes' debut single, and it may well be the best thing they've done. From an album called Elsie, so extra points for that.

2. Bob Dylan - Hurricane

Here comes the story of the Hurricane
The man the authorities came to blame
For something that he never done
Put in a prison cell but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world.

At 8 minutes 36 in length, Bob beats our Number One today by just 13 seconds. It's a wonderfully noirish, novelistic piece of storytelling... yet not quite strong enough to knock this one off the top spot...

1. Neil Young & Crazy Horse - Like A Hurricane

The trick of making an epic 8 minute plus rock song is to make it still seem too short.

I want to love you but
I'm getting blown away.

So... which hurricane blows you away?

My Top Ten Charming Songs

What do you mean you already know the Number One? Charming!


10. Black Kids - I've Underestimated My Charm (Again)

A song that begins with a tribute to Sparks before going on to reveal...

And you, you're not doing too well.
All the blogs are about you, girl.
They caught you in the park after dark
giving head to a statue, girl.
Oh, cruel!

 I don't know what happened to Black Kids, but I wish they'd come back.

9. The Ohio Players - Good Luck Charm

Sleazy, in all the right ways.

8. Elvis Costello - Charm School

From my favourite Costello album, when his lyrics were at their most playfully malicious...

You & I as lovers were nothing but a farce
Trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's arse...

7. The Divine Comedy - Charmed Life

Neil Hannon looks back on a charmed life in which he may not have made a lot of money, but he always seemed to land on his feet. Which is maybe about all you can hope from life, in the long run...

6. Cinerama - Your Charms

I love the fact that when David Gedge tries to write an out and out love song, he can't help but be self-deprecating...

And darling, I just can't think clearly
It happens when I'm in your arms
And my heart is pounding
How pathetic is this sounding?

5. Aimee Mann - Charmer

Finally got around to buying the new Aimee Mann CD... sorry, Aimee, I'm six months behind schedule, but I don't have a lot of money these days. Thankfully, the record is every bit as wonderful as her earlier releases. Still among my Top Five All Time Favourite Female Recording Artists... that voice!

4. Blur - Charmless Man

Blur's Charmless Man is certainly a boorish oaf in the video... but you can't help but cheer when he gives Damon Albarn a kicking. Much as I love the Blur boys... Damon probably had it coming.

Wikimadeupia tells me this inspiration from this song came from some graffiti on a toilet wall. The title no doubt came in response to another song you're already expecting to find at the top of this countdown. 

3. Elvis Presley - Good Luck Charm

Nobody could "ah-ah-ahh" like The King...

2. Adam & The Ants - Prince Charming

...but nobody could "ah-ahh ey-haa!" like Adam.

What's the biggest problem with pop music these days? Nobody makes video like this... in which Adam plays Jesus, Alice Cooper, Clint Eastwood and a pantomime princess... and there's Diana Dors as his fairy godmother too!

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of...

1. The Smiths - This Charming Man 

Mere words cannot do this song justice. From the opening line, "Punctured bicycle on a hillside desolate" to Johnny's jangling-reverby guitars to the infamous refrain, "I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear"... it is perfect.

None of the cover versions are worthy of comment, but if you're a child of the 80s, and a fan of both The Smiths and The Housemartins, you might appreciate this magical mash-up: This Charming Caravan. 




Those were the songs that charmed me... but which is your four leaf clover?