Last week, we talked about hating people, and I came to the conclusion that I didn't really hate people, but actually it's "all just an act to paper over insecurity, a tragic lack of self-confidence and a Grand Canyon of loneliness in perpetual conflict with an innate desire to be on my own".
Just as I thought I'd talked myself out of misanthropy, C replied...
You're in good company Rol, I think nearly all the best people I know are people-haters, which doesn't really make a lot of sense and yet somehow it does!
And then I remembered the postcard at the top of this page, which Louise bought me some time ago; it's pinned on the wall next to my desk. You may find it interesting to note that Louise ordered two copies. There's also one pinned up on the wall next to her desk. Make of that what you will...
I can't understand What makes a man Hate another man Help me understand
Not that MC. Here's MC Flux, psychologist, neuroscientist and science communicator from the University of Colorado, as quoted in the Grauniad. He says annoyance is “moderately negative, and moderate arousal... it’s basically a flag, saying: ‘Something is wrong, and I should probably do something about it.’”
Now, I'm tiptoeing around this subject because I don't want to get onto anger until I've read sweary Dr. Faith's next book on my reading list, Unfuck Your Anger. And clearly anger is the next step on from annoyance. However, it should come as no surprise that our old friend the amygdala is the main culprit responsible for such emotions. Healthline says,
Anger starts with the amygdala stimulating the hypothalamus, much like in the fear response. In addition, parts of the prefrontal cortex may also play a role in anger.
Frustration, such as facing roadblocks while trying to achieve a goal, can also trigger the anger response.
Now we know what's going on in our brain... but we've still not answered the big question: why are people so annoying? Or should that be: why do I find people so annoying? Are they the same question... or two very different questions?
That Guardian article I mentioned earlier highlights four key answers to the first question: "uncouth habits, inconsiderate acts, intrusive behaviors and norm violations". I think a lot of these come down to what I'd label a lack of empathy, emotional awareness... or just plain arrogance. And once we get onto the subject of arrogance, I need another post. Or ten.
Meanwhile, therapist Julia Kristina has an uncomfortable answer to the second question...
Those unfavourable qualities, habits, or tendencies of someone else we react negatively to are really just our own shortcomings that we have turned our back on and refuse to own up to.
They always clap on the wrong beat They're wearin' loafers on their feet Greedy awful people!
Ouch. I think I'm going to have to come back to that one as well. But just in case anyone here thinks of me as an annoying person, I consulted Indeed for some tips on how to eliminate my own annoying behaviour...
Be an active listener
This is actually really easy if you don't have much to say for yourself.
Louise does sometimes get embarrassed when we're out in public (not often, to be honest) as she claims I speak louder than I need to. I don't think I do, but then I am partially deaf...
Many annoying people don’t even realize they’re being annoying in the first place. Annoying people might violate various social norms, be incompatible with others, try too hard to make others laugh, or even take a phone call while in a quiet library.
Did you know that you could even be the “irritating person” because you’re too positive?
Oh, yes. I knew this.
This type of positivity is known as toxic positivity—and it’s a real thing.
You don't need to tell me twice. There's a post in that as well.
It's A Beautiful Day. You're at Home. You're Feeling Good. There's a picture of Michael Bublé on your computer screen and you're trying to pretend you're so cool that you don't even know who he is. Stop trying so hard to be cool and embrace the Bublé. You know you want to.
It was a full-on battle between Charity Chic, Lynchie and Walter first thing yesterday morning. Lynchie looked set to take the trophy with 3 points to CC's 2 and a half... until a last second equalizer from CC clinched the draw. Thanks, as always, for playing.
10. Mucking about leads to romance for sprite-like creature and chess piece.
A sprite-like creature would be elvin. (Elfin or elvish?)
1. Prince's house is the Pitts. All things must end.
Prince lived at Paisley Park, but not with Brad Pitt.
Congrats to Chris for getting "the hard one". (Although Mr. Paisley is a favourite of mine.) I'll have a dig around for some Toby Keith in future week, just for Lynchie. Who says I don't do requests?
This video must be watched right until the end... for the full Hoff.
Saturday Snapshots will be back next week. Michael Bublé may not be.
I really wanted to pay tribute to the late Glenn Frey this week (far too many of our heroes are dying young at the moment), but sadly I'm moving house* on Monday so I don't have a spare second. But Glenn... you'll be missed.
(*I would have reposted My Top Ten Songs About Moving House, but as it's only 18 months since our last move - don't ask - it seemed too soon.)
Instead, here's one I prepared earlier...
It all begins with The Beatles... or so they say. Of course, the Beatles didn't invent rock 'n' roll, but maybe they did invent pop music. OK, pop music had been around for a long time before the Fab Four hit the Cavern, but maybe pop music wouldn't mean what it means today if it hadn't been for the Beatles. I dunno, Bob Stanley or someone far smarter than me about pop music will have a theory on that, I'm sure. Anyway, ten songs indebted, one way or another, to the chorus hook of She Loves You, since, if we can only agree on one thing today, it's that the Beatles surely invented the idea of putting more than one yeah together in a song lyric.
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Oh, and special mention, of course, to Karen O and The Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
Before they became leading lights of the power pop scene, Cheap Trick had more of a hard rock sound on their eponymous debut album in 1977. Twenty years later, they released a second eponymous album which harkened back to their early days. This comes from that.
This one's only from a couple of years ago, but it sounds like it could have been lifted from Browne's 70s heyday. The guitar also sounds very reminiscent of Warren Zevon's Werewolves of London, but as Browne produced that and was good friends with Warren, we'll let him off.
What if the Pogues had been around in the 60s? They might have appeared on Ready, Steady, Go as in this video recreation... but I don't think Shane would have been allowed to sing, "I love your breasts, I love your thighs".
Clive Powell wasn't a very rock 'n' roll name, was it? Apparently, Clive / Georgie holds an interesting Top Ten record. The only three Top Ten singles he ever scored all went to Number One. He released plenty more singles, but the only ones that got into the Top Ten all went to the top of the chart. This was one of them... I'm sure you can guess the other two.
Always willing to go that extra Yeah to get your attention, David Gedge plays International Man of Mystery in this classic Weddoes single from Watusi.
1. The Flaming Lips - The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song
Just as mental as anything else the Flaming Lips have ever recorded, but with an added political element. Wayne Coyne claims the song isn't only pointing the finger at clueless politicians but also asking us what we would do if we were in the same position.
I never copy stuff word for word from iffypedia, but their description of the video is even more funny than the video itself...
The music video has three segments. In the first, Asian women forcibly
tape hamburgers to a businessman and then he is let loose, chased by
several shirtless obese men and watched by amused but non-interfering police officers. In the second segment, a woman resembling Gwen Stefani similarly covered by doughnuts
(suggesting that the three Asian women are supposed to criticize
Stefani's objectification of her entourage of four women who play "Harajuku Girls"), and is chased by the police officers. In the third segment, Wayne Coyne - who portrays a ruthless leader - has raw steaks and some lengths of intestine stapled to him and gets chased by a werewolf.
Which one makes you go Yeah Yeah Yeah? And which one makes you go No No No?
I was astounded by how many songs in my record collection are Ballads of... somebody or other. I reckon I could have stretched this to a Top 50 if I'd had the time. These were the best ballads of the bunch...
One day, I might get around to compiling a Top Ten Bonnie & Clyde Songs... amazingly, this 1967 Georgie Fame Number One might not make it to the top of that list.
Friendship is a recurring theme in Frank Turner's work and he writes about it in a very open, honest and emotional way. It seems most of Frank's friends are tortured artists...
Everybody's got themselves a plan, Everybody thinks they'll be the man, including the girls. The musicians who lack the friends to form a band are singer-songwriters, The rest of us are DJs or official club photographers. And tonight I'm playing another Nambucca show, So I'm going through my phonebook, texting everyone I know, And I quite a few I don't, whose numbers found their way into my phone, But they might come along anyway, you never really know.
However, while most of them might never reach their intended destination... they're definitely enjoying the journey.
We're going nowhere slowly, but we're seeing all the sights. And we're definitely going to hell, But we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Or ...Lucy Jordon, as the record was originally released. This week's song about growing old... as I've said previously, I listen to a lot of those these days.
At the age of thirty-seven she realised she'd never Ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair. So she let the phone keep ringing and she sat there softly singing Little nursery rhymes she'd memorised in her daddy's easy chair.
There's a splendid cover version by Marianne Faithfull, but I still prefer Dennis Locorriere's vocals on the original.
I'll let you google Chasey Lain if you're unfamiliar with her ouvre... but perhaps don't do that at work.
Juvenile in the extreme, as all the best Bloodhound Gang records are. If you're easily offended or don't have the mind of a puerile 14 year old boy, skip along to the next song.
One of the first John Lennon solo records, in all but name. George and Ringo were both absent from the session and although Macca filled in for them on bass, drums and piano, and shared the songwriting credit with John as always, he had little else to do with the song's creation.
Denied as much airplay as other Beatles records due to its references to Jesus and crucifixion (Lennon further developing his earlier "more popular than Jesus" comparison) it still made the top spot on the UK charts, although it did prove to be their final Number One, and marked the beginning of the end for the group.
One for the geek vote, this obscure American indie song is a tribute to the DC Comics hero The Flash (soon to star in his own TV show... I hope it's better than Arrow). Gets to the targic heart of the character in a way the comics long since stopped bothering.
It's a credit to 1998 that a creepy, John Barry-esque tribute to the Welsh crooner, a bizarre anti-love song duet with a chorus like this...
You stopped us from killing each other Tom Jones, Tom Jones You'll never know but you saved our lives Tom Jones, Tom Jones I've never thrown my knickers at you And I don't come from Wales
...could make number 4 in the charts. It's been years since I listened to this - blimey, I'd forgotten how good it was.
1. Todd Snider - The Ballad Of The Kingsmen
Todd Snider tells the true story of The Kingsmen, the 60s garage band responsible for the huge one hit wonder 'Louie Louie', a record that ended up being investigated by the FBI for its supposedly obscene (but really just plain unintelligible) lyrics. From there he goes on to wonder whether Marilyn Manson records were really responsible for the Columbine massacre... and why we keep blaming our failings as a society on dumb (yet ultimately harmless) pop songs. Brilliant stuff.
Those were my best ballads... but which one makes you go Aye-yi-yi-yi?
I always thought Dubstar was a rubbish name for a band, particularly a band with very little dub in their sound. I always liked the fact that you could hear Sarah Blackwood's northern accent in her vocals though.
The interweb tells me Dubstar are recording again and soon to release a new record. Ooh...
A song about dead children to cheer your dark winter days. Could have been worse (?) - I could have gone with Tom Lehrer - Poisoning Pigeons In The Park.
Named after the old Jane Fonda / Robert Redford movie, this is David Gedge going all romantic on us again. Hardly the sort of thing you'd hear on Steve Wright's Sunday Love Songs, but perhaps it ought to be...
Yes it's because you're just sublime That I think about you all the time Don't ask me if it's true Because how could anybody not love you?
You may have expected this nearer the top... but in retrospect, isn't it just the teeniest bit annoying? Great single, but still... a bit annoying. Actually, I'm not sure who's more annoying, Damon or Phil Daniels. Probably Damon... Phil's just playing a part.
For something slightly less annoying from the Blur boys (but not half as catchy), try Trailer Park.
Look, I'm not going to apologise for the amount of times Bruce makes My Tops Tens... but I should probably apologise that this one only got to #4. In any other chart... Number One With A Bullet.
And me, I just got tired of hangin' in them dusty arcades
Bangin' them pleasure machines Chasin' the factory girls underneath the boardwalk Where they all promise to unsnap their jeans
And you know that tilt-a-whirl down on the south beach drag
I got on it last night and my shirt got caught
And they kept me spinnin', dear, didn't think I'd ever get off
I feel inclined to blow my mind
Get hung up, feed the ducks with a bun
They all come out to groove about
Be nice and have fun in the sun
What did you do there?
I got high!
You don't say...
1. Richard Harris - MacArthur Park
Yes, I could have gone with the Donna Summer version, the Glen Campbell version... or even Jimmy Webb's own version... but Richard Harris did it first, and most famously. This song gets a lot of stick, partly because as a singer, Richard Harris was a great actor... and partly because nobody can really agree on what the lyrics are about. Hell to all that - it's a metaphor, deal with it.
Classic.
Those were my favourite park songs, but... which one leaves your cake out in the rain?
