Teacher Songs #9: Chemistry Class

Semisonic - Chemistry

My high school Chemistry teacher was Mr. Dowling. He also taught Maths. He looked like Doctor Emmett Brown from Back To The Future.

Elvis Costello - Chemistry Class

That's all you need to know, really. I got a B in Chemistry, despite having very little interest in Science. I put that entirely down to him.

Today's post was just an excuse to play this video...

Snapshots #376: The Snapshots Sale Is Now On!

Now that the Snapshots Sale has officially been started by Robin Zander, lead singer of Cheap Trick, you can all bag yourself a bargain - while stocks last! 

20. Tony Pollard is very confused.

Hard as it may be to believe, "Tony Pollard" is an anagram for a very young...

Dolly Parton - The Bargain Store

19. Don't tell your other half about these guys.

Keep that affair secret, whatever you do...

Secret Affair - I'm Not Free (But I'm Cheap)

18. Foibles.

The Kinks - Massive Reductions

17. Mr. Loverman (not Shabba).

He's the man from Love...

Arthur Lee - You Can Save Up To 50% But You're Still A Long Ways From Home

Short but sweet, that one.

16. Wayward Prince, initially Jesus, every one famous.

Prince Harry is rather wayward, the first letter of Jesus is J, but they're all stars...

Harry J. All Stars - Liquidator

15. Octopus Alfred wearing a hockey mask.

Alfred Molina played Dr. Octopus... Jason wore a hockey mask.

Jason Molina - It Costs You Nothing

14. Eastenders without a cause.

Cockney Rebel - Big Big Deal

13. The riddle of who's steering the ship.

Jimmy Riddle at the Helm...

Jimmy Helms - Gonna Make You An Offer You Can't Refuse

12. Four sub-par Stewarts fly high with mock King. 

They're a quartet of B-Rods in the Sky... with an Elvis who's not the King.

Elvis Costello & The Brodsky Quartet - This Offer Is Unrepeatable

11. Use your powers of deduction to describe Cilla's laughs.

You needed a lorra lorra logic to figure this one out...

Lora Logic - Wonderful Offer

10. Overweight and covered in spots.

Fats Domino - What A Price

9. Tired / Hippocampus.

Hippocampus is the Latin name for seahorses. If you're tired, you need a Sleeper.

Sleeper - Sale of the Century

Seahorses - Sale of the Century

8. Useful for chipping away at the igloo.

Cold Chisel - Cheap Wine

7. Better than Steve Mason and Gordon Anderson.

Steve Mason and Gordon Anderson were the Beta Band.

T-Bone Burnett, Steven Soles, and David Mansfield were...

The Alpha Band - Cheap Perfume

6. Senegal Intelligence Agency.

That would be the SIA...

Sia - Cheap Thrills

5. Crazy boys.

The Mad Lads - Don't Have To Shop Around

4. An insult to the Irish, and a Young man who talks to walls.

Faron Young sang Hello Walls, Mick is a derogatory term for the Irish...

Mick Farren - Half Price Drinks

3. Desperate / not depressive.

Desperate (Steely) Dan and the Manics (not depressives).

Manic Street Preachers - Everything Must Go

Steely Dan - Everything Must Go

2. What a Doctor and a Baker do at the bus stop.

Tom (Baker) Waits...

Step right up
Everyone's a winner!
Bargains galore!
That's right you too can be the proud owner of...
The quality goes in before the name goes on!

Tom Waits - Step Right Up

1. Get her out of the other way and you'll hear a crazy organ playing in your new build home. 

Remove "her" from "other way" and you get Otway. A crazy organ might be a wild willy... in a Barrett home.

John Otway & Wild Willy Barrett - Really Free

The Snapshots Sale Must End New Year's Day! Join us then for our final crazy reductions!

Cover Me Monday #13: I Will Survive

Gloria Gaynor's disco hit I Will Survive was originally seen as a female empowerment anthem, although in recent years it has also been embraced by the LGBT community for its message of not giving up even when it seems like the whole world's against you. Apparently the American Library of Congress selected it to be included in the National Re cording Registry as a track that is "culturally, historically, or artistically significant". And who am I to argue with any of that? It's a fine song...

Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive

There are plenty of interesting cover version around though, which take the song way beyond its disco roots. For example, there's the country version...

Billie Jo Spears - I Will Survive

The jazz version...

Postmodern Jukebox - I Will Survive

The R.E.M. version...

R.E.M. - I Will Survive

The John Otway pretending to be Bob Dylan version...

John Otway - I Will Survive

The Nigel The Cockatoo version (aka Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords)...

Nigel The Cockatoo - I Will Survive

And this, which is apparently Gloria Gaynor's least favourite version, because it's a bit too sweary (edited here to make it more radio friendly). I was always very fond of this cover though...

My Top Ten Science Songs Volume 1: Chemistry

Last year I did a number of posts about Mathematics. I thought I'd follow that up with some musical science classes. You see, I finally started watching Breaking Bad. Yes, I know, I know, I'm nearly ten years behind the curve. Ironically, I've already watched the first two seasons of Better Call Saul, and I've been meaning to watch BB for ages, but... you know, time.

Anyway, for Walter White, we have to start with Chemistry...

Special mentions to The Chemical Brothers and My Chemical Romance.


10. Rush - Chemistry

Because I love Spirit Of Radio, I bought the Best Of Rush. I can do prog in small bursts before it all gets a bit pompous for me. I'm always impressed by the guitar work on records like this... but I prefer Yes though, mainly because Jon Anderson's voice is a thing of wonder.

9. Interpol - Rest My Chemistry

There are three types of chemistry songs. The first: where chemistry is a metaphor for the spark between two people. The second: where chemistry is a metaphor for drugs. The third: where it's both.

This, like our Number One, belongs the third category, I think.

8. Blur - Chemical World

The way Damon dances around in the countryside in this video... seriously, if you were out for a nice Sunday afternoon walk and you bumped into him, you'd turn swifty in the opposite direction.

Weirdo.

7. Dan le Sac Vs. Scroobius Pip - Development

If you potter about on youtube, you'll find a number of songs where people have tried to rap the Periodic Table. When Scroobius Pip gets into his own attempt at that, about halfway through this song, I just wish he'd carried on till he got all the way up to Oganesson.

6.  Emma Pollock - Chemistry Will Find Me

Ironically, despite being on Chemikal Underground and writing this song for her 2010 album The Law Of Large Numbers, Emma Pollock studied Physics at university...

5. John Otway - Bunsen Burner

John Otway's fans helped him celebrate his 50th birthday by getting this into the Top Ten in 2002.  He even made it back onto Top Of The Pops. Brilliant.

4. Esiotrot - My Chemical Romance Saved My Life

This one's a bit of a stretch, I confess, since it's obviously about the band mentioned above and not really anything to do with chemistry... but they're my rules, I can break them if the song is good enough. Great lo fi indie, made even better by the inclusion of a mournful trumpet.

Plus they're Tortoise backwards, so there's that.

And finally, any song which includes the line...

We define ourselves by our record collections

Well. You know.

3. Semisonic - Chemistry

One of those late nineties / early noughties guitar bands it's never been cool to admit to liking... so, obviously, I think they're great.

I remember when I found out about chemistry
It was a long, long way from here
I was old enough to want it but younger than I wanted to be
Suddenly my mission was clear

So for awhile I conducted experiments
And I was amazed by the things I learned
From a fine fine girl with nothing but good intentions and a
Bad tendency to get burned

They lose points for that silly CD single cover (above) though.

2. Elvis Costello - The Element Within Her

The obvious choice is Chemistry Class from Armed Forces, but much as I love that album, I love Punch The Clock more. I have in the past observed the cliché that artists in love don't always make the best records and that heartbreak and misery make for much better songwriting partners. This is often the case, and you'd expectit to be true of the gleefully cynical Elvis Costello more than most. And yet, and yet... Punch The Clock is full of shiny, exuberant love songs, and it's brilliant. 

It's the element within her
Something under her skin
That is shining out through the face of the girl
Two sapphires and couple of rows of pearls

1. Suede - The Chemistry Between Us

Having led the Britpop charge, Suede went full on anthemic pop band on their third album, Coming Up. Although it does have a soaring chorus, sumptuous strings and plenty of la-la-las, at over 7 minutes in length, The Chemistry Between Us was never going to be a hit like the FIVE Top Ten singles this album produced. As with many of Suede's earlier hits though, it is obsessed with drug culture, although Brett Anderson claims the lyrics are anti-drugs, about people who can only make connections when they're high.

Oh, Class A, Class B...
Is that the only chemistry?

Look at that: I can still do indie and guitar pop! Funny how the subject matter led more to those kind of bands...