Snapshots #304: A Top Ten Shirt Songs

OK, keep your shirt on - the answers are here!

Ten songs to get shirty about...

10. Any owl can get mixed up with a dying salesman.

"Any owl" is an anagram of Waylon. Willie Loman is the protagonist of Death Of A Salesman.

Waylon & Willie - If I Can Find a Clean Shirt

9. How Freddie Mercury got his mail delivered.

Quicksilver Messenger Company - Edward, The Mad Shirt Grinder

8. Rogue traders.

The Charlatans - White Shirt

7. Dispose of your oracle.

Chuck your prophet.

Chuck Prophet - Best Shirt On

6. Jocko Jeans.

Anagram!

Joe Jackson - The Band Wore Blue Shirts

5. Madonna's only just begun to feel W.O.L.D.

Mary was the Madonna. The Carpenters had Only Just Begun. Harry Chapin sang W.O.L.D.

Mary Chapin Carpenter - This Shirt 

4. Plane company I don't want to fly with.

Plummet Airlines - Silver Shirt

3. Sounds like what happens when the king's daughter gets involved with some old punk.

Elvis's daughter was Lisa Marie (this isn't her though).

Malcolm McLaren & The Bootzilla Orchestra featuring Lisa Marie - Something's Jumpin' in Your Shirt

2. Archer, Model, Soldier...

My Aim Is True. This Year's Model. Armed Forces.

Elvis Costello - Green Shirt

1. Bob, Buzz and Bowl + 97.

Three haircuts plus another 97 equals...

1. Haircut 100 - Favourite Shirts

Collar more Snapshots next Saturday...

Snapshots #206: A Top Ten Netherlands Songs

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. But I've never seen anything like you guys working together to crack the answers on Saturday Snapshots.

As our songs today all relate to The Netherlands, I called up one of their famous sons, the late Rutger Hauer, to help us hitch a ride to the answers... 

10. Where Impartial Ernie stays, next door to 5.

Ernie was a Milkman. If he was impartial, he'd be neutral. #5 is a hotel.

Neutral Milk Hotel - Holland, 1945

9. Interesting snooker player, not a bad guy.

The snooker player was Steve "Interesting" Davis (thank, Spitting Image).

Steve Goodman - The Dutchman

8. Middling racecar.

Malcolm was in the middle. McLaren builds racecars.

Malcolm McLaren - Double Dutch

7. Stern nephew. Geddit?

That's one big anagram.

The Wedding Present - Rotterdam

6. Probably one of the places the Human League went on holiday.

The Human League went to The Lebanon. The capital city is Beirut.

Beirut - August Holland

5. Hotel for me and him.

The Two Ronnies said "Goodnight from me and him".

Ronnie Hilton - A Windmill in Old Amsterdam

4. I'm outraged by the price some petrol stations charge.

Me... Shell-Shocked!

Michelle Shocked - 5AM In Amsterdam

3. French Jim, not quite brill.

James in French is Jacques.

Jacques Brel - Amsterdam

2. Sweet Home Alabama?

The Beautiful South - Rotterdam

1. He covets lollies.

Anagram!

(And yes, I know New Amsterdam was the original name for New York... so nowhere near The Netherlands. But I'm presuming it was named by Dutch settlers.)

Nether mind if you didn't get them all. There will be another chance next Saturday.

Saturday Snapshots #158 - The Answers

 

I already had an appropriate picture of Eddie Van Halen... but I didn't expect to find one with Johnny Nash and a camera. The internet has some uses.

Here are the answers. Hopefully you can all see clearly now the clues have gone...

10. Even the Stranglers would struggle to eat these... but they'd have the whole world to help them (except one person).

The Stranglers sang about Peaches.

But these peaches a moldy bunch - yuck!

The Moldy Peaches - Anyone Else But You

The Moldy Peaches were Adam Green (George's favourite) and Kimya Dawson. This track was popular due to its inclusion in the soundtrack to the movie Juno.

9. Running medal at revolving discotheque.

Gold medal turns to runny liquid...

Liquid Gold - Dance Yourself Dizzy

No shame.

8. Inspired to write twice as much on the opposite sex... but scared of MC Hammer.

This proved tricky - and even had Mrs. Brian tearing her hair out... though she cracked it in the end.

It was suggested twice during the run of The Hot 100 though.

Who would be scared of MC Hammer?

The Nails - 88 Lines About 44 Women 

7. Waking up James Dean, before Richard and after Gordon... it's imperative you join me.

James Dean was a rebel - time to rouse him.

Cliff comes before Richard, Bennett follows Gordon.

Cliff Bennett & The Rebel Rousers - Got To Get You Into My Life

6. Lonely burger seeks kingly distraction.

A loveless patty?

Patty Loveless - I Try To Think About Elvis

5. Powerful weed, huge cock.

Get your mind out of the gutter,

Supergrass - Mansize Rooster

4. Moore & Curtis: ♡/卐.

The Persuaders - Thin Line Between Love & Hate

3. Formula One? Balderdash!

Malcolm McLaren - Double Dutch

2. Remember the halfwits.

Simple Minds - Don't You (Forget About Me)

A rare appearance from Juan (Spanish for Jim) Kerr on this blog. 

(OK, I know Juan is Spanish for John. But then the gag doesn't work.)

1. Lions? Puma? Reverend Green. 

Lions? Puma? Anagram!

The Reverend Al Green. (Not the one in Cluedo.)

Still love this video...

More next week...

My Top Ten Rabbit Songs

Ten Easter bunnies...

Special  mention to Frightened Rabbit, Echo & The Bunnymen, White Rabbits... and all the other White Rabbits already featured as part of my Top Ten Alice In Wonderland Songs.


10. Paul Westerberg - Mr. Rabbit

There's only one Paul Westerberg. Accept no Replacements.

9. Adam Ant -  Who's a Goofy Bunny?

From the new album, Adam Ant is the BlueBlack Hussar in Marrying the Gunners Daughter... apparently it's Adam's tribute to Malcolm McLaren.

8. Ray Moore - O, My Father Had A Rabbit

One of my first DJ heroes: the late Ray Moore. They don't make 'em like this anymore... 

7. Seth Lakeman - The White Hare

As I said above, if you're looking for White Rabbits, click the Alice In Wonderland link. Here's a white hare instead. Don't give me any grief about hares not being rabbits.

6. Sparks - Pulling Rabbits Out of a Hat

All they get is polite applause. There's no pleasing some people.

5. Unkle featuring Thom Yorke - Rabbit In Your Headlights

I'm a rabbit in your headlights
Christian suburbanite
Washed down the toilet
Money to burn
Fat bloody fingers are sucking your soul away...

 And you think you have problems getting to sleep at night. Imagine living in Thom Yorke's head.

4. Chas & Dave - Rabbit

Not the first time this has made it's way into one of my Top Tens... doubt it'll be the last.

Now, I don't mind having a chat...
But you have to keep giving it that.

My local Sainsbury's still doesn't sell rabbit.

3. Florence & The Machine - Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)

Yes, the kookiness is starting to grate and she's yet to record anything else quite as exciting as Kiss With A Fist... but when I read that "551 people disliked this video beacuse (sic) they saw her waring (sic) earring (sic) that looks (sic) like "illuminati" sign", I was impressed. Particularly that the youtube commenter knew how to spell Illuminati.

2. The Magnetic Fields - Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits

Stephin Merritt at his most playful, from the mighty 69 (Love Songs).

1. Jenny Lewis & The Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat

 Just fantastic storytelling...

I was of poor folk
But my mother had a rabbit fur coat
And a girl of less character pushed her down the L.A. River
Hand over that rabbit fur coat
She put a knife to her throat
Hand over that rabbit fur coat
When my ma refused, the girl kicked dirt on her blouse
Stay away from my mansion house

 Listen to the song to hear the rest of the story.



What's up, doc?

My Top Ten Jumping Songs

10. Broken Family Band - Leaps

I think this might be about energetic, acrobatic sex. I might be wrong. I usually am when it comes to that kind of thing.

9. Jethro Tull - Jump Start

Almost made my Top Ten Start Songs... then I decided to save it for here.

8. Whistler - Don't Jump In Front Of My Train

We both know you're not insane
So don't jump in front of my train

7. Joe Jackson - Jumpin' Jive

Jazz... nice. Not listened to this in years.

6. The Cure - Jumping Someone Else's Train

Don't say what you mean
You might spoil your face...

...is a wonderfully catty way to start a song.

5. Malcolm McLaren & The Bootzilla Orchestra featuring Lisa Marie - Something's Jumping In Your Shirt

Malcolm McClaren sounds like The Child Catcher on this. And most other times he opens his mouth too.

4. House of Pain - Jump Around

This song is now 20 years old. Yes, you are that old.

3. Van Halen - Jump

Hands up if you thought this would be Number One?

I could watch David Lee Roth muck about in music videos all day and never grow bored.

However, if you're too cool for poodle rock, may I direct you to Aztec Camera's reworking of this track as a suicide ballad... you might as well jump.

2. Billy Bragg - Waiting For The Great Leap Forwards

Mixing pop and politics
He asks me what the use is...
I offer him embarrassment
And my usual excuses

I almost gave Billy the Number One spot because this is one of his greatest ever songs... but then I listened to the track below again, and damn it, even the Bard of Barking couldn't argue this one...

1. The Rolling Stones - Jumpin' Jack Flash

It's a gas, gas, gas!

Which jumping song gets you jumping round the room?