My Top Ten Kitchen Songs

Because we've recently had a new kitchen fitted... all designed, planned and sorted by Louise. My contribution is pretty much this blog post.


10. Martika - Martika's Kitchen

I'd forgotten all about this. It was written by Prince, hence: it's probably a thinly veiled metaphor for sexy time.

9. Field Music - In The Kitchen

No idea what this one's about though.

8. Little Jackie - The Kitchen

You can't go wrong if you're rhyming 'kitchen' with 'bitchin'.

7. The Young Knives - Kitchener

The Young Knives Need YOU!

6. UB40 - Rat In Mi Kitchen

What are you gonna do?

5. Prefab Sprout - Venus of the Soup Kitchen

When you're scared of down and out
You keep it to yourself and if anyone suspects
You say: "Who me ? Hardly!"
You tell him "Thank your stars, this isn't Derby day
'Cos it's clear you've got the gift for backing the wrong horse, Charlie."

The lyrics in this song are truly beautiful, yet most of it's the way Paddy sings them. Wonderful phrasing, worthy of Sinatra the way he takes the vocal melody in such surprising directions.

4. Old Crow Medicine Show - Mary's Kitchen

Come on in to Mary's kitchen...
...if you want your sausage ground

Ouch.

3. Jona Lewie - You'll Always Find Me in the Kitchen at Parties

Spoiled somewhat since it was adopted by Ikea, but nevertheless, this is still the best Jona Lewie song not about Winston Churchill and Christmas. Great bored-out-of-their-heads backing singers in the video too.

2. Band of Horses - Evening Kitchen

Simply gorgeous.

1. The Lemonheads - Kitchen

Thrilled to be in the same postcode as you...

It's A Shame About Ray is 20 years old this year. How can that be possible?



Those are the songs playing in our new kitchen. Which one gets you dancing round the Smeg? (No, we didn't buy a Smeg. What do you think we are, made of money?)

My Top Ten Alabama Songs

The second stop on my USA tour (following Memphis) brings me to the deep south of Alabama. Never before have I compiled a Top Ten where so many of the songs are so inextricably linked...

Special mention goes to Alabama Shakes, Alabama 3 and, of course, The Blind Boys of Alabama.


10. Jim White - Alabama Chrome

According to the Urban Dictionary, "alabama chrome" is slang for duct tape. Make of that what you will.

9. The Drive-By Truckers - The Three Great Alabama Icons

The Truckers tell the story of the controversial relationship between the songs at #3 and #1 on this chart, along with a potted history of the deep south itself.

See also The Boys From Alabama, an 18 certificate remake of Dukes of Hazzard.

I wouldn't piss off the Boys from Alabama if I was you

8. Brad Paisley - Old Alabama

Alabama was also the name of a classic country rock band of the 70s and 80s. Here they're reunited by my favourite contemporary country artist for a tribute song, singing lyrics from one of their biggest records, Mountain Men.

7. Old Crow Medicine Show - Alabama High-Test

They're gonna put me in the slammer
If they catch me with that Alabama high-test

6. Kid Rock - All Summer Long

Recalling his youth in northern Michigan (936 miles away from Alabama), Kid Rock shamelessly pilfers our #1 song, Bryan Adams' Summer of '69 and a howling hit by this next gentleman...

5. Warren Zevon - Play It All Night Long

Which dead band's song is Warren playing all night long? (Hint: it's not Kid Rock's.)

The youtube version I'm linking to is a little wobbly, but it's the best version I could find.

4. The Doors - Alabama Song

Written by Kurt Weill and Bertolt Brecht back in 1927, this has been recorded umpteen times since, most notably by Jim Morrison (above) and David Bowie. I think the Doors version just wins it for me.

3. Neil Young - Alabama

Grumpy old northern Neil never had much love for the south, venting his spleen on the segregationist states both here and in Southern Man. Some good did come out of this whole situation though - Neil's angry rants led to the creation of our #1 track. No prizes if you haven't already guessed what that's going to be.

2. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes - Home

Alabama, Arkansas
I do love my ma and pa...
Not the way that I do love you

Maybe it's not strictly an Alabama song (Mr. Sharpe and the Zeroes are from L.A.), but that opening lyrics always points me in that direction.

1. Lynyrd Skynyrd - Sweet Home Alabama

Well I hope Neil Young will remember
A southern man don't need him around anyhow!

There have been various theories put forth over the years about the politics espoused by the Skyn' in this song. Go listen to #9 for more about that. For me, this is just one of the greatest rock guitar songs ever, a track that always makes me want to "turn it up"...



So... which one's your Alabama slammer?

My Top Ten Memphis Songs

Thus begins an occasional series of Top Tens dedicated to songs about specific geographic locations...

According to those in the know, Memphis could well be the most-mentioned city in the whole of popular music. More songs have been written about - or refer directly to - Memphis than just about any other city in the world. The Memphis Rock 'n' Soul Museum keeps an ever expanding list of over 1000 Memphis-based tunes on its website.

For the purposes of this Top Ten, I stuck purely to songs that mention Memphis in the title... with one far-too-obvious exception.


10. Rufus Wainwright - Memphis Skyline

Rufus pays tribute to Jeff Buckley...

Turn back the wheels of time
Under the Memphis skyline
Always hated him for the way he looked
In the gaslight of the morning

9. The Pixies - Letter to Memphis

8. Old Crow Medicine Show - Motel in Memphis

Where you there when the man from Atlanta was murdered in Memphis?

A powerful tribute to Martin Luther King.

If you were there, you'd swear it was more than a man who died.

7. Mott The Hoople - All the Way from Memphis

Yeah it's a mighty long way down rock 'n' roll
From the Liverpool docks to the Hollywood Bowl
And you climb up the mountains And you fall down the holes
All the way from Memphis

Great piano.

6. Marc Cohn - Walking In Memphis

Not sure why I feel like I have to apologise for this one. I loved it so very much when it came out. Hey, I could have given you the Cher version!

5. Bob Dylan - Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again

Oh, Mama, can this really be the end?

4. The Hold Steady - Sequestered in Memphis

One of my favourite Hold Steady songs - testament to how many great Memphis songs there are that it only makes #4 in this list.

Craig Finn gets subpoenaed in Texas and sequestered in Memphis... and he's getting pretty sick of having to tell his story over and over again in the police interview room...

We didn't go back to her place
We went to some place where she cat-sits

Listen, coppers - he went there on business!

3. Paul Simon - Graceland

The obvious exception.

There is a girl in New York City
Who calls herself the human trampoline
And sometimes when I'm falling flying
Or tumbling in turmoil I say
Whoa so this is what she means
She means we're bouncing into Graceland,
And I see losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody feels the wind blow

2. Chuck Berry - Memphis, Tennessee

Listening to this track makes me wish I'd been alive in 1959 when rock 'n' roll was really kicking off.

1. The Colorblind* James Experience - I'm Considering A Move To Memphis

OK, it's definitely not the best song about Memphis - but I can't help that it's my favourite.

(*Spelled the way the band themselves would spell it, or the way the residents of Memphis would. Not the way a pedant like me would spell it, obviously.)

I'll get myself a motel room that's not too small to see
I'll get one with a private bath and a black and white TV
Memphis isn't all that big, at least that's how I found it
Why, it took only an hour and a half to walk completely around it
Memphis isn't all that big, it isn't all that wide
Still, it is the kind of place where a country boy can hide

Over 1000 Memphis songs to choose from - which is your favourite?