Tuesday, 18 September 2012

My Top Ten Kitchen Songs

Because we've recently had a new kitchen fitted... all designed, planned and sorted by Louise. My contribution is pretty much this blog post.

10. Martika - Martika's Kitchen

I'd forgotten all about this. It was written by Prince, hence: it's probably a thinly veiled metaphor for sexy time.

9. Field Music - In The Kitchen

No idea what this one's about though.

8. Little Jackie - The Kitchen

You can't go wrong if you're rhyming 'kitchen' with 'bitchin'.

7. The Young Knives - Kitchener

The Young Knives Need YOU!

6. UB40 - Rat In Mi Kitchen

What are you gonna do?

5. Prefab Sprout - Venus of the Soup Kitchen

When you're scared of down and out
You keep it to yourself and if anyone suspects
You say: "Who me ? Hardly!"
You tell him "Thank your stars, this isn't Derby day
'Cos it's clear you've got the gift for backing the wrong horse, Charlie."

The lyrics in this song are truly beautiful, yet most of it's the way Paddy sings them. Wonderful phrasing, worthy of Sinatra the way he takes the vocal melody in such surprising directions.

4. Old Crow Medicine Show - Mary's Kitchen

Come on in to Mary's kitchen...
...if you want your sausage ground

3. Jona Lewie - You'll Always Find Me in the Kitchen at Parties

Spoiled somewhat since it was adopted by Ikea, but nevertheless, this is still the best Jona Lewie song not about Winston Churchill and Christmas. Great bored-out-of-their-heads backing singers in the video too.

2. Band of Horses - Evening Kitchen

Simply gorgeous.

1. The Lemonheads - Kitchen

Thrilled to be in the same postcode as you...

It's A Shame About Ray is 20 years old this year. How can that be possible?

Those are the songs playing in our new kitchen. Which one gets you dancing round the Smeg? (No, we didn't buy a Smeg. What do you think we are, made of money?)


  1. Aaah Band of Horses...truly excellent choice!

  2. Martika's Kitchen was the first (and only) thing I thought of. She was lovely, and probably still is. Mind you, I fancied Dannii Minogue back then, too, and look how she turned out.

    1. Even Prince didn't fancy Danni Minogue.

    2. He would have if he'd been unemployed in the late 1980s / early 1990s and had seen her playing a punky teenage bad girl in Home and Away. I think I had completely gone off her by the time she became a minor pop star and am definitely not keen now that she is a botox disaster / Joan Collins lookalike / whatever it is she does for a living these days.

  3. I had been singing 'you will always find me in the kitchen at parties' for 2days, the same line over and over. I will hunt you down and find a way to thank you personally!


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