Tuesday, 20 October 2020

Name That Tune: Our Top Ten Caroline Songs

 


This is Caroline Trettine. The only Caroline I own more than one song by. Largely thanks to Martin.

Caroline Trettine - Sleep With Me

Although there appear to be hundreds of songs featuring Carolines, there are very few song-makers with that name.

Only two other singing Carolines in my hard-drive...

Caroline & The Treats - Me And My Vibrator

Caroline Carter - The Ballad of Possibilities (Come Along)

And while I'm usually inundated with artist suggestions, the only other one this week came from Walter...

Carolyne Mas - Thomas Dunson's Revenge

Which led me to investigate the alternate spelling and discover...

Carolyn Franklin - All I Want Is To Be Your Woman

As well as this absolute gem of a suicide anthem...

Carolyn Sullivan - Dead

But a dearth of famous Carolines is good, because it means we can get straight onto the songs...


Let's start with your suggestions that didn't make the Top Ten...

The late, great Daniel Johnston - I Did Acid with Caroline (Lynchie)

Fleetwood Mac - Caroline (Martin)

Jefferson Starship - Caroline (Walter)

Lou Reed - Caroline Says I / Caroline Says II (Martin & George)

Old Crow Medicine Show - Caroline (Lynchie)

Cheap Trick - Oh Caroline (Martin)

Colin Blunstone (Formerly of the Zombies and then went solo) - Caroline Goodbye (Lynchie)

Jimmy Buffett - Woman Goin' Crazy on Caroline Street (Martin)

Talk Talk - Does Caroline Know? (Walter)

Now, I have to admit I get a bit rankled by Talk Talk, so when my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, also suggested this one, I might have snapped.

You're not part of that whole "Spirit of Eden is the greatest album in the history of recorded music" conspiracy, are you? (Both Guy Garvey and Huey Morgan are among the disciples of this particular cult.)

My millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, replied:

It's a key album in the development of post-rock music. The blueprints are there but I don't think they knew what to do with it properly.

This turned into a whole argument with me railing against the very concept of "post rock" and Ben quoting Mogwai and post-metal and Math rock and me saying I'd rather listen to Twisted Sister. It got ugly. But there are worse ways to spend a Friday afternoon. 

Ben also suggested...

Jawbreaker - Caroline

Which is fine, but no postmen were hurt in the recording of that.

Also from Ben, a couple of great lyrical offerings... 

Pulp - Inside Susan

She's still thinking about this when the bus goes passed caroline lee's house where there was a party last week. There were some german exchange students there who were very mature; they all ended up jumping out of the bedroom window. One of them tried to get her to kiss him on the stairs, so she kicked him. Later she was sick because she drunk too much cider. Caroline was drunk as well; she was pretending she was married to a tall boy in glasses, and she had to wear a polo-neck for three days afterwards to cover up the love-bite on her neck.

That was a very strong contender, partly because it scratches my "short stories in songs" itch and partly because it was the first Pulp song I ever fell in love with. But I guess I had to save it for Our Top Ten Susan Songs.

Stars - Personal

My name is Caroline
Cell phone number here, call if you have the time
Twenty-eight and bored, grieving over loss
Sorry to be heavy, but heavy is the cost
Heavy is the cost

Which, if I ever get round to completing it, will be a strong contender for Number One in My Top Ten Lonely Hearts Column Songs. Although it will obviously be up again Rupert Holmes.

Also on the lyrical side of things, strong calls from Walter...

Robyn Hitchcock - I Am Not Me

I say, "Caroline,
No need to spell it backwards
That's 'eniloraC'

The Undertones - Girls That Don't Talk

Caroline's dancing
Catina's at home
You get up every morning
Taking lessons on the phone

And Charity Chic...

Townes Van Zandt - Tecumseh Valley

The name she gave was Caroline
Daughter of a miner
Her ways were free
It seemed to me
That sunshine walked beside her

Time to venture into the darkest recesses of my hard-drive... for some very strong runners-up...

Low - Caroline 

Harry Nilsson - Caroline

Frank Turner - Least Of All, Young Caroline

Jake Thackray - Caroline Diggeby-Pratte

Mark Kozelek & Jimmy Lavelle - Caroline

Aimee Mann - Goodbye Caroline

Martin Stephenson and the Daintees - Caroline

Rhett Miller - Caroline

Barry Manilow - Caroline

Steppenwolf - Caroline (Are You Ready for the Outlaw World)

Tom Williams & The Boat - Caroline

Harry Chapin - Caroline

The Candy Darlings - That's Where Caroline Lives

The Posies - So Caroline

Tom Ovans - Caroline

Concrete Blonde - Caroline

As for that pesky alternative spelling / pronunciation...

Steve Wynn - Carolyn 

Ronnie Bond (drummer of The Troggs) - Carolyn

Cocteau Twins - Carolyn's Fingers

The Wedding Present - Carolyn

Finally, there was some discussion about the possibility of including Carolinas in this list, but I had to veto that on the grounds of Shaggy. Sorry.


Onto this week's winning ten...


10. Kate Nash - Caroline's A Victim

Because Kate Nash always makes me smile. And I need as many smiles as I can get these days.

See also...

Kid Creole & The Coconuts - Caroline's A Drop-Out

9. Colter Wall - Caroline

Over to our Canadian correspondent, Douglas...

I am enthused to be able to introduce you to another strong Canadian contender here!

If your willing to stretch out a little into the Country realm (as I believe by your other selections you are on occasion) my collection yields up the somewhat shocking voice of Colter Wall, from Saskatchewan (that's prairie town, Canada style if you are not up on your Canadian geography, the heart of Canadian Country music). A little test? See if you too, like the Proclaimers, "can say "Saskatchewan" without starting to stutter..." Anyway, give a listen to his song "Caroline" from 2015, and see if you can believe that the lad had barely turned 20 at the time of recording that song.

No, he certainly doesn't sound 20. I have heard Ricky Ross playing Colter on his Radio Scotland Country show, but I hadn't heard this one. It's utterly bewitching though. Thanks, Douglas.

8. Status Quo - Caroline

Because Jez would never forgive me if this wasn't in here somewhere.

7. Outkast - Roses

Can't argue with this suggestion from John Medd. How many other songs can you think of where the roses smell like poo poo?

Caroline (Caroline) Caroline
All the guys would say she's mighty fine (mighty fine)
But mighty fine only got you somewhere half the time
And the other half either got you cussed out, or coming up short

6. The Beach Boys - Caroline, No 

"Caroline, No" by The Beach Boys has to be a contender! says Lynchie.

And let's not forget the answer song, thanks to Rigid Digit...

Kaiser Chiefs - Caroline, Yes

5. The Go-Betweens - Caroline And I

Surprised nobody picked this one.

Born in the very same year
Alive at a similar time
It gave me something small that I could feel
That maybe as you grew, you knew how I'd feel
And Caroline and I knew how you'd feel
Rattled through our teenage years
Battled and loved who we fought
The first time you left home on your own I knew
A little bit of you is gone when you do
And Caroline and I well we grew, well that's true
Caroline and I

4. Psychedelic Furs - Pretty In Pink

Clearly the best lyrical suggestion of the week, via Rigid Digit...

Caroline laughs, and it's raining all day
She loves to be one of the girls
She lives in the place in the side of our lives
Where nothing is ever put straight

3. Matching Mole - O' Caroline

A sweet '70s song this time, says C, with Robert Wyatt on vocals.

An utterly enchanting song, adds John Medd.

Alyson continues...

You've beaten me to it C, as that was the song I would have suggested. I think I discovered it from one of the other blogs a couple of years ago and was blown away it - there is a great YouTube clip with loads of '60s/'70s scenes in black and white which brings always brings on an overwhelming sense of nostalgia when I watch it: just matches the sound of the song so well.

The Swede concludes...

Spot on C, an absolute beauty. Another Robert Wyatt tune at least partially inspired by Caroline Coon (as well as Carla Bley and Marsha Hunt) is 'To Carla, Marsha and Caroline (For Making Everything Beautifuller)' from his 1970 LP 'The End of an Ear'. Not sure if Rol will allow that though.

That may bend the Song For Whoever rule, Swede, but it is quite lovely. Matching Mole for the win though... if only there weren't such stiff competition this week.

2. Kirsty MacColl - Caroline

Martin and Rigid Digit both picked this for Number One. I respect that. But sometimes there's just no competition.

Now I lie here with you, can't get her out my head
Do you think she knows that you share my bed
Well, I don't want to see Caroline
Don't want to see her face when she finds out you're mine
How could a friend be so unkind
Well, I don't want to see Caroline

1. Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline

There are those of you who may not like Sweet Caroline, and I don't often say this, because everyone is entitled to their opinion and it's all subjective and opinions are like arseholes... but you're wrong.

Sweet Caroline has a wistful nostalgia about it. It starts small but grows and then explodes. This is where Nirvana got the whole quiet quiet LOUD thing from. And best of all, it has the "Der der ders!" which even Bublé can't beat. I'm really sad if you don't like it because when I'm down, Sweet Caroline can pick me up like virtually no other song.

Good times never seemed so good...

My millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, says...

"Also, if you do Sweet Caroline, make it the Hoff version or Me First & The Gimme Gimmes."

...which just goes to show you, there really is little hope for the youth of today.

David Hasslehoff - Sweet Caroline

Me First & The Gimme Gimmes - Sweet Caroline

I actually quite like the Hoff's vocal performance here, but the backing track is awful.

And the Me First... cover sounds like every other Me First... cover. Amusing the first time you hear it. After that...

Still, if it's covers you want, try these...

Bobby Womack - Sweet Caroline

More faithful than you'd imagine.

Roy Orbison - Sweet Caroline

Manages to make it his own.

Elvis Presley - Sweet Caroline

Just in case you're wondering how to dance in the der-der-ders.

Frank Sinatra - Sweet Caroline

Probably my favourite cover.

Still. There is no competition here.


Of course, you may prefer the Covid-19 version... if you're clinically insane, that is.

Hands
Washing hands
Reaching out
Don't touch me
I won't touch you



My god, 2020... how much worse can you get? 

NEXT TIME - OUR TOP TEN DAVID SONGS 

(DAVES and DAVYS WILL BE CONSIDERED) 

 

Monday, 19 October 2020

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #54: Lost Loves

 


Among the first singles I ever bought must have been this one by Prince and Sheena Easton. The 7" vinyl is long since gone from my collection, but it popped into my head the other night and I had a distinct memory of the sleeve, of slipping out the disc and placing it onto my old music centre turntable, queueing it up to start and then hitting play & record on the tape deck to add this to a mix tape.

Of course, I'm embellishing the memory. I did all those things, but do I actually remember? 

I don't remember when I first heard this song, but I know I heard it enough and liked it enough to buy it with my 15 year old's pocket money.

I don't remember buying it, but it was probably in Woolworths or WH Smiths or maybe Our Price, if that was around back then.

I can tell you that I probably played it that month more than I've listened to any one song this year... but I don't actually remember doing that.

I wish I could go back, just for an hour, and sit on my old bedroom floor, feeling safe, knowing my parents were downstairs and I had all the time in the world and I could just drop the needle and listen to the crackle before the first drumbeats kick in...

Here we are folks
The dream we all dream of...



Sunday, 18 October 2020

Saturday Snapshots #159 - The Answers

 


We currently live in the Badlands.

The Heart of Darkness.

Because the Apocalypse is happening right Now.

And while we wait - and pray - for a leader with the integrity of Jed Bartlett... all we can do in the meantime is enjoy the answers to this week's Saturday Snapshots.



10. Hello, green eyes & rosacea noses.


Green eyes = jealousy.

A big red drinker's nose is known as a Gin Blossom.


9. Jim, a British soldier, rejects a runaway... and loses two Euros from his money.


A British soldier was a Tommy.

Jim is James.

Shun Del, who sang Runaway.

Take the E from money, twice...


8. Woman found in Queen's wireless... it's a wicked affair!


Queen sang Radio Gaga. D'oh.


There are days I think this song was the last great pop song. A sure sign I'm getting old.

7. Berny Joe offers romantic flying lessons.


"Berny Joe offers" is an anagram.


6. La petite mort? Bet there will be lots of wrong answers here... 



Climax making you blue?


Such a great groove on that.

5. Mighty, like an Inuit, but self-sufficient... idiotic article.


The Mighty Quinn was an Eskimo. (Some debate about whether that term should be considered offensive these days, though the consensus appears no.)

Self-sufficient is independent.

Idiotic article = stupid thing.


One of JC's favourites.

4. Stabbed by spider's silk... ends up behind bars.



Want to see that suit in colour, George? Check out the video!

3. Scared of girls with fins, tiny robber? 


Fear... Gal... Shark... 


A great solo tune from the former Undertone... just a shame he made it his mantra once he went to the Dark Side and became a bullshit record exec interested only in persecuting harmless music fans.

2. Sam cornily considers your ego.


"Sam cornily" is an anagram.


I bet you think this song is about you - don't you?

1. Summer nights shampoo... like Mr. Benn.

Adam & Joe famously upset Mr. Grumpy by making fun of his name in a Wella-wella-huh! Tell me more, tell me more... stylee. The shampoo speaks for itself.

Mr. Benn was always changing into different outfits that led to adventures.



More Snapshots next Saturday. Be Sheen you then.


Saturday, 17 October 2020

Saturday Snapshots #159


This is my boss – Jonathan Hart, a self-made millionaire. He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H – she's gorgeous. She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max. I take care of both of them - which ain't easy; 'cause their hobby is... Saturday Snapshots.

Help them crack this week's clues and identify ten top tunes...


10. Hello, green eyes & rosacea noses.


9. Jim, a British soldier, rejects a runaway... and loses two Euros from his money.


8. Woman found in Queen's wireless... it's a wicked affair!


7. Berny Joe offers romantic flying lessons.


6. La petite mort? Bet there will be lots of wrong answers here... 


5. Mighty, like an Inuit, but self-sufficient... idiotic article.


4. Stabbed by spider's silk... ends up behind bars.


3. Scared of girls with fins, tiny robber? 


2. Sam cornily considers your ego.


1. Summer nights shampoo... like Mr. Benn.


When these clues met - it was moidah.

Answers tomorrow.


Tuesday, 13 October 2020

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #53: Bad Is Bad

 


Sorry, no Name That Tune this week. We'll get back to our favourite Caroline songs soon enough, but I'm enjoying that feature and want to do it properly rather than rushing it to hit a weekly deadline that only exists in my head.

Plus work is workier than ever at the moment.

And to top it all off, we're moving house again in a few weeks time.


Long-time readers must surely be shaking their heads in wonder at that announcement, since in the duration of this blog's lifetime we will now have moved house four times. I'll tell you one day why this latest move, but for now, suffice it to say the last move was a bad idea, and has been proven so repeatedly in the past year. 


Anyway, apropos of nothing at all, the cooker in our current (soon to be ex-) kitchen has a timer on it, and when it beeps, the rhythm of the beeping always reminds me of the Doo-woppy bits in Bad Is Bad by Huey Lewis & The News.

Indulge me, I need a Huey fix today...

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